Masks Off: Inner Freedom For People-Pleasers and Perfectionists

Do you feel that your life is flat?  Do you feel dull or dimmed down? Another way of asking the question is do you feel like you are playing small? Does your life feel like groundhog day? Perhaps you are just spinning your wheels and feel like you are going nowhere. If you answered “yes” to any or all of these questions, you are probably cut off from your true authentic self and not living the life that you were meant to live. You are most likely wearing many masks and unable to show up in your life being authentic. We have forgotten who we truly are and have been cut off from our inherent worth and value. Often this stems from childhood when we were never seen or heard. You may have heard the phrase kids need to be seen and not heard and this is why so many of us feel that we are not worthy of being seen. We must reclaim our worthiness and return to who we truly are and create our own lighthouse.

“Accept your light and let it shine to create your own lighthouse on a stormy night.” ~ Pauline Duncan-Thrasher

To Contact Us:

Masks Off Email: [email protected]

Masks Off YouTube Channel: https://youtube.com/channel/UCaWJfO7ZFd4aYBX3e-clj9Q

Tia Fagan

Website: tiafagan.com 

Facebook: @tiafagancoach

Instagram: @tiafagancoach 

Email: [email protected]

Kim Gross

Website: unlock-yourmind.com 

Facebook: @unlockyourmindhypnotherapy

Email: [email protected]

Episode 35

How often have you heard yourself say, “When I lose weight , then I will be happy, when I get married then I will be happy, when I have a family then I will be happy etc… You fill in the blank. We are all chasing that pursuit of happiness. The issue is that we are not living in the present moment. The reality is that what we create in our present reality will keep showing up in our future. If we want our future to be different we must choose in the present moment what we want to manifest in the future. We have to get out of our stories that we are stuck in if we want to change and create our future. In order to get out of these stories we first have to become aware that we are stuck in a story and our thoughts and beliefs are perpetuating those stories.

“Destiny is not a matter of chance; it is a matter of choice.” ~William Jennings Bryan

To Contact Us:

Masks Off Email: [email protected]

Masks Off YouTube Channel: https://youtube.com/channel/UCaWJfO7ZFd4aYBX3e-clj9Q

Tia Fagan

Website: tiafagan.com 

Facebook: @tiafagancoach

Instagram: @tiafagancoach 

Email: [email protected]

Kim Gross

Website: unlock-yourmind.com 

Facebook: @unlockyourmindhypnotherapy

Email: [email protected]

Episode 34

How often do you find yourself trying to fit in with others in order to feel accepted. Do you find yourself trying to meet other peoples’ expectations of who they want you to be rather than being your true self? Whereas, true belonging is when we can be exactly who we are and know that the people we are with will accept us completely. When we find our tribe this is when we can truly exhale and be our true selves. When we are fitting in our inner values do not match with our outer behaviors. Cultural conditioning is the reason that it is so difficult for us to live out what we truly want to be or do. We see this in the traditional path of living life: go to school, go to college, get a good job, get married, have kids, retire etc.. There is so much pressure today to be “successful” by making good money, buy a nice house with a picket fence, 2 kids and a dog. There is little room for just being who we inherently are.

“Can you remember who you were before the world told you who you should be?” ~ Danielle LaPorte

To Contact Us:

Masks Off Email: [email protected]

Masks Off YouTube Channel: https://youtube.com/channel/UCaWJfO7ZFd4aYBX3e-clj9Q

Tia Fagan

Website: tiafagan.com 

Facebook: @tiafagancoach

Instagram: @tiafagancoach 

Email: [email protected]

Kim Gross

Website: unlock-yourmind.com 

Facebook: @unlockyourmindhypnotherapy

Email: [email protected]

Episode 33

How comfortable are you with setting boundaries with others? Are you afraid that if you set a boundary that you run the risk of being rejected? Are you afraid that if you disappoint others and don’t please that you will not feel connected to others? The problem is that when we do this throughout our lives we will just live in roles and we will lose who we truly are. We might not even know what our values are or what our interests are because we spend more of our time pleasing others. We are encouraging you to take one small tiny step to be more true to yourself even if you disappoint someone else. Try to set one boundary and as Brene Brown says, “ have the courage to love yourself even if you disappoint someone.” If you want to hear more about how this plays out in our lives, take a listen.

Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves even when we risk disappointing others.” - Brene Brown

To Contact Us:

Masks Off Email: [email protected]

Masks Off YouTube Channel: https://youtube.com/channel/UCaWJfO7ZFd4aYBX3e-clj9Q

Tia Fagan

Website: tiafagan.com 

Facebook: @tiafagancoach

Instagram: @tiafagancoach 

Email: [email protected]

Kim Gross

Website: unlock-yourmind.com 

Facebook: @unlockyourmindhypnotherapy

Email: [email protected]

Episode 32

Do you find yourself getting stuck in the avoidance mask? Do you “numb out” with TV, social media, isolation, and maybe using substances to avoid conflict and even avoiding your feelings? Many of us have been conditioned that when we have a conflict with another that we just ignore our feelings. We were never taught how to resolve our conflicts and we were never taught how to deal with our feelings. It is so important to learn the skill of resolving conflict and to learn the skill to deal with our feelings. The issue is that when we avoid life, and others and our true feelings, we run the risk of not having true joy, peace and authenticity in our lives.

In seeking comfort, we generally find a quiet corner in life where there is a minimum of conflict, and then we are afraid to step out of that seclusion. - Jiddu Krishnamurti

To Contact Us:

Masks Off Email: [email protected]

Masks Off YouTube Channel: https://youtube.com/channel/UCaWJfO7ZFd4aYBX3e-clj9Q

Tia Fagan

Website: tiafagan.com 

Facebook: @tiafagancoach

Instagram: @tiafagancoach 

Email: [email protected]

Kim Gross

Website: unlock-yourmind.com 

Facebook: @unlockyourmindhypnotherapy

Email: [email protected]

Episode 31

Kim and Tia have an in-depth and interesting conversation about what the inner child is and how the inner child plays a part in our adult lives. The inner child is the part of ourselves that is still wounded and shows up in different ways depending on who you are. Most often the ways in which the inner child shows up is holding us back or keeping us stuck. It is usually when we are triggered or upset that the inner child shows up. As we begin to heal and develop the adult self, the adult self is responsible for nurturing or comforting the child self inside. It takes a great deal of self awareness to look at our patterns and to see how the inner child shows up and then takes responsibility. Most often we are unaware that the thoughts or feelings that plague us, is very often the inner child showing up . There is so much peace and freedom when we live and operate more and more from our adult self.

“Fear and anxiety many times indicates that we are moving in a positive direction, out of the safe confines of our comfort zone, and in the direction of our true purpose.”

― Charles F. Glassman

To Contact Us:

Masks Off Email: [email protected]

Masks Off YouTube Channel: https://youtube.com/channel/UCaWJfO7ZFd4aYBX3e-clj9Q

Tia Fagan

Website: tiafagan.com

Kim Gross

Website: unlock-yourmind.com

Email: [email protected]

Episode 30

How good are you at trusting the Universe that you will receive everything that you need? Are you able and willing to release any and all attachment to the outcomes you desire? Surrender often feels so counterintuitive and yet, it is the key to manifesting what you want. It is actually resistance that blocks what we want to manifest. Our resistance and our attachments to outcomes is what blocks things from happening. It is important to recognize that our resistance can show up as fear or unworthiness. We are co-creators of our reality, and as a result it is important to trust and flow with whatever the Universe gives us whether it is the good, bad or the ugly.

“Throw your dreams into space like a kite, and you do not know what it will bring back – a new life, a new friend, a new love, a new country.” ~Anaïs Nin

To Contact Us:

Masks Off Email: [email protected]

Masks Off YouTube Channel: https://youtube.com/channel/UCaWJfO7ZFd4aYBX3e-clj9Q

Tia Fagan

Website: tiafagan.com

Kim Gross

Website: unlock-yourmind.com

Email: [email protected]

Episode 28

Are you in flow with your life? Are you aware of different signs that the Universe sends to you, and if so, do you listen? Kim and Tia talk about manifesting. They explain that we are manifesting all the time whether it is what we desire or not, we are manifesting. The Universe is forever generous in giving us lessons to learn and unless we go inward and do the work, we will continue to “invite” people and situations into our lives that are opportunities to learn and evolve. In order to truly manifest what we desire, it is important to go inward and take responsibility and ask if our beliefs are still serving us. Our outdated subconscious beliefs most often are responsible for being stuck in our lives. Pay attention to your internal dialogue and be aware of your old limiting beliefs and how those beliefs are creating the life that you are living.

“Every intention sets energy into motion, whether you are conscious of it or not.” ~Gary Zukav

To Contact Us:

Masks Off Email: [email protected]

Masks Off YouTube Channel: https://youtube.com/channel/UCaWJfO7ZFd4aYBX3e-clj9Q

Tia Fagan

Website: tiafagan.com

Kim Gross

Website: unlock-yourmind.com

Email: [email protected]

Episode 27

Do you ever notice when you make a mistake or do something that maybe you wish you had not done or said something that you wish you had not said, and do you then beat yourself up for doing so? If you have, then when you beat yourself up that is a second arrow. We all make mistakes because we are human, but what we don’t need to do is shame ourselves or others when we or they make a mistake. The second arrow is what gets us stuck in our patterns because now we feel unworthy or not good enough. Additionally, if you find that your relationships with others are not healthy, it may be that you or the other is shooting second arrows at one another which will cause resentment if you don’t communicate and talk about it. If you are interested in learning more about 1st arrow and 2nd arrow, and whether or not this concept is affecting your life, feel free to email Kim and Tia at [email protected].

“If a person is struck by an arrow, is it painful? If the person is struck by a second arrow, is it even more painful?’

He then went on to explain, ‘In life, we can’t always control the first arrow. However, the second arrow is our reaction to the first. This second arrow is optional.’ ~Buddha

To Contact Us:

Masks Off Email: [email protected]

Masks Off YouTube Channel: https://youtube.com/channel/UCaWJfO7ZFd4aYBX3e-clj9Q

Tia Fagan

Website: tiafagan.com

Kim Gross

Website: unlock-yourmind.com

Email: [email protected]

Episode 26