Mental Health & Addiction Podcast: Mind Matters by Gordon Bruin

Life is a journey of constant change and movement. Many people, however, are stuck in the past, haunted by traumas or negative experiences. The key to overcoming this is focusing on the future and finding purpose in your suffering. Commit to ensuring that past mistakes won't repeat themselves; live powerfully as you move forward.

I've seen many individuals trapped by their circumstances, especially those raised in poverty. For instance, I'm currently working with a 26-year-old man from a poor background who's stuck at a dead-end job making $15 an hour. He spends most of his earnings on Uber rides since he doesn't have a driver's license or car.

My role is helping him recognize his potential and envisioning himself graduating college through hard work and discipline - creating better versions of himself for the future.

We all have within us both potentials: becoming our best self or falling into our worst version. It all depends on where we choose to focus our attention now - either dwelling in the past or striving towards an improved future.

For those struggling with addiction issues, imagine yourself clean and sober five years from now – it’s possible! Healing involves eliminating nonessential habits from our lives like excessive social media use which can be addictive itself.

In my experience as a therapist working with individuals struggling with addiction issues, I've seen this pattern repeatedly. Whenever they succumb to their addictions or 'slip,' none ever admit that it solved their problems or brought satisfaction. Instead, they feel frustrated and drained.

Understanding the workings of our minds is crucial in navigating these manipulations we encounter daily on social media platforms like Instagram and Twitter. Richard Brody - influential tech giant and developer of Microsoft Word - wrote about this in his book "Virus of the Mind." He emphasizes understanding your mind better enables you to navigate subtle manipulations more effectively.

Our brains were not designed for some content available online today; shocking material easily accessed by children included among them. It’s disturbing seeing people exploit themselves for likes or money without considering long-term effects such as damaging potential meaningful relationships.

Being mindful and aware where you direct your attention is essential because certain things can drain your energy significantly. The wisdom lies in eliminating non-essentials from life rather than progressing further burdened by them – simplicity is key.

Understanding how our brains work helps us navigate an increasingly manipulative world. Richard Brody, creator of Microsoft Word and author of "Virus of the Mind," says understanding your mind allows you to avoid subtle manipulations. We're manipulated by social media content designed to hijack our brains.

Accepting that there are things we can't handle is crucial. The human brain wasn't meant to process everything available online now via platforms like Instagram and Twitter - some content is simply too intense or inappropriate.

It's concerning when people exploit themselves on social media for likes or money. What value does this bring? It's important to be mindful about where we direct our attention as certain things can drain us energetically.

Ultimately, life wisdom involves eliminating non-essentials rather than carrying them forward unnecessarily – simplicity is key.

The past is history, and the future lies ahead. I was deeply moved by a story from Dr. Joe Dispenza about an accident he had during a triathlon in California years ago. He suffered severe injuries, including six broken vertebrae, after being hit and dragged by a car.

Upon hospitalization, doctors recommended surgery to implant a Harrington rod to contain bone fragments on his spinal cord. Despite multiple recommendations for this course of action, Dr. Dispenza refused surgery.

Dr.Dispenza believed in an inner intelligence or consciousness within us that gives life and maintains our health among other functions. This belief led him to question if it was possible to connect with this inner power for healing purposes rather than undergoing the suggested surgery.

Against medical advice, he decided not to have the operation but instead focused his mind on visualizing his body healed in the future. His strategy involved consciously directing attention towards this internal intelligence while simultaneously monitoring thoughts that could disrupt his healing process - which is easier said than done given our minds' tendency towards distraction.

Mindfulness involves repeatedly bringing your wandering mind back to quality thoughts; it's like mental exercise requiring consistent effort and focus. Every day began with mentally restructuring his spine while maintaining absolute presence – no fleeting distractions allowed.

Twice daily for two hours each time, he envisioned a completely healed spine as part of projecting himself into the future - something we often neglect when faced with crises or trauma where we tend to dwell more on what we don't want rather than what we do want.

While acknowledging past experiences can impact us significantly as does our current environment; spending excessive time dwelling on these aspects may hinder progress into desired futures.

After six weeks of focused mindfulness and mental reconstruction, he experienced a breakthrough moment - akin to hitting a tennis ball perfectly - where he felt whole and present for the first time.

Nine and half weeks post-accident, despite no surgeries or casts, he walked again. He resumed seeing patients at ten weeks and started weight training during his twelfth week of recovery. Today, almost 30 years later, back pain is rarely an issue for him.

His experience illustrates our latent potential when we fully commit to a process instead of leaving it to chance. By envisioning himself healed rather than paralyzed, he tapped into quantum physics theory: focusing on one thought collapses other possibilities.

By directing our minds towards desired outcomes rather than current circumstances, we allow universal forces to guide us forward as creators of our lives – aligning with George Bernard Shaw's wisdom that life isn't about finding oneself but creating oneself.

Dr. Dispenza shares his journey of self-healing after an accident that left him bedridden for weeks. He echoes Einstein's sentiment about the power of imagination being paramount in life and suggests remembering is easier than projecting into the future.

For six weeks he practiced mindfulness, focusing on healing his spine while lying face down - unable to do anything else. The day he succeeded felt like hitting a tennis ball perfectly; everything clicked into place providing a sense of satisfaction and wholeness.

Nine-and-a-half weeks post-accident, Dr.Dispenza walked again without needing any surgeries or body casts. By ten weeks he was seeing patients again and by twelve started training and lifting weights during rehabilitation process.

Now nearly 30 years later, he reports minimal back pain since then - testament to his mind's power over physical health which was only accessed through focused attention on recovery rather than fear of paralysis.

He emphasizes that our thoughts can direct our lives due to quantum physics theory: what we focus collapses other possibilities hence why envisioning where you want to be in future helps shape your destiny.

We are constantly faced with choices that can steer our lives in different directions. For instance, after my early morning workout at home in Florida, I find myself contemplating various options: jumping into the pool, taking an ice bath, walking my dog or recording a podcast. These decisions confront me and prompt me to consider which path I should take.

This brings up an intriguing notion I've been mulling over - the need for psychology to shift its focus from past to future. While resolving past issues is important, it seems less effective than looking ahead. We often get stuck ruminating about the past rather than envisioning what we could become in five years' time.

Project yourself into July 8th of 2028 and imagine numerous potential versions of yourself shaped by your present decisions. As Albert Einstein said, "Imagination is more powerful than knowledge." It's challenging because recalling the past is simpler than visualizing our future selves.

I encourage you to visualize your optimal state five years from now; when you finish this podcast imagine meeting this version of yourself and ask them how they got there. Begin a dialogue with this person through journaling – remember who you truly are and uncover your capabilities within.

As a therapist one challenge has been helping those feeling stuck or frozen move forward using concepts like these ones; like guiding a young man who felt despondent about himself towards imagining his life five years hence.

Visualize meeting this future self. Start a dialogue through journaling and ask questions. He will guide you on what needs to be done because I believe we all have our answers within us already. We need to shift our mindset towards letting our desired futures pull us forward instead of being held back by past experiences.

This requires mindfulness and attention - it requires faith. Faith can be defined as an intelligent force causing things to happen or visualizing something before its physical manifestation occurs.

So wherever you are right now or whatever struggle you're facing, I encourage you to try this experiment: visualize yourself five years into the future because it's coming regardless. Ask yourself who do want to become?

This aligns with George Bernard Shaw's quote that life isn't about finding ourselves but creating ourselves: create your future by exercising faith and envisioning what you desire for your life in order for it to manifest.

I advised him to start dialoguing with this future self through journaling. Ask questions; he will guide you towards what needs to be done. This ties into my belief that we already hold our own answers within us. We should let our envisioned futures pull us forward instead of letting our pasts weigh us down.

This process requires mindfulness, awareness and faith - defined as the intelligent force causing things to happen before they physically manifest. Regardless of your current struggles, look ahead five years because it's coming regardless; decide who you want to become then.

Remember George Bernard Shaw’s quote: life isn't about finding yourself but creating yourself. By envisioning your desired future and placing yourself there mentally, you allow that person to teach you how to get there.

Plato's statement about the ideal citizen being a scholar athlete resonates with me. I've always sought a role model who embodies this balance of thought and action, embodying both physical prowess and intellectual depth. 

An influential figure for me has been Admiral William McCraven, who delivered an impactful commencement address at the University of Texas in 2014. His credibility was palpable as he shared his life story, including his childhood fascination with Superman. When he learned that superheroes were fictional, he decided to become one himself - not by flying around Metropolis but through leadership.

This reminds me of George Bernard Shaw’s idea: life is not about finding yourself; it's about creating yourself. McCraven exemplifies this by being a scholar athlete; someone who leads physically and intellectually.

Many young people today struggle with anxiety, depression or feelings of worthlessness. They often feel swayed by external influences rather than their own beliefs or ideas – something Tom Shea discusses in his book "Unbreakable" as internal dialogue.

We need to learn self-efficacy - standing on our own two feet and proving we can do hard things - because accomplishing these tasks helps build self-esteem. It’s crucial that we don't let others' opinions derail us from our path.

A successful business person like Ron Johnson highlights this principle too. As a Harvard Business School graduate and former CEO of JCPenney, Johnson represents another example of how personal belief shapes success.

Many so-called 'experts' are just people who believe they're experts. He's seen managers and CEOs project confidence even when their knowledge was doubted by educated subordinates. Yet, due to their authoritative demeanor, people tend to follow them blindly.

He encourages everyone to trust in their abilities and carve out their path while being aware of whose influence is guiding them. It's essential not only to know what thought process you're following but also why you've chosen it.

Successful individuals like Apple or Nike's founders often create a reality distortion field around themselves - their strong commitment makes others conform to their ideas. But one must be cautious and mindful of this power.

A study conducted over 20 years by Vinod Khosla from Berkeley tracked the forecasts made by 250 experts (28k predictions). The findings? Their accuracy was comparable to monkeys guessing randomly! 

It emphasizes that we should question our internal dialogue regularly: What thoughts dominate your mind? Who influences these thoughts? Instead of relying on external validation or expertise, take control and make your own informed choices based on self-learning.

In the business world, he observed that perceived expertise often trumps actual knowledge. He recalls a charismatic leader who impressed despite lack of understanding, illustrating how authority can sway people's opinions. 

He advises listeners to believe in their abilities and chart their own path while being mindful of influences shaping their thoughts and decisions. This self-efficacy is common among successful individuals like Apple’s or Nike’s founders whose strong commitment influenced reality around them.

He cites an interesting study by Professor Vinod Khosla from Cal Berkeley who tracked expert predictions over twenty years. The results showed experts were no more accurate than monkeys guessing - a cautionary note about relying too heavily on so-called experts.

Finally, he encourages taking control of one's life through making personal decisions and questioning internal dialogues regularly: why certain things are said or believed? Who is influencing these beliefs? It's crucial to learn independently instead of waiting for knowledge handouts because engagement in one's learning journey fosters self-esteem.

The following statement is by M. Scott Peck. Distinguishing what we are and what we are not responsible for in this life is one of the greatest problems of human existence. It is never completely solved. For the entirety of our lives we must continually assess and reassess where our responsibilities lie in an ever-changing course of events. One of the challenges that is common with the clients that I've been working with recently, and actually for many years, is distinguishing between the things they can control and things they cannot control. In a therapy session just this morning one of my clients said, it's just so frustrating for me because most of my anxieties and worries come from things that I really cannot control. And yet I'm obsessing over them. And she said she mentioned that to her husband and he says, I've been trying to tell you that for years. And so I encouraged her to complete an assignment. It's called the Things I Can and Cannot Control assignment. We just get a piece of paper, draw a line down the middle of the paper. On one side of the paper you write the things you can control and on the other side the things I cannot control. And really it's a very powerful assignment if one actually does it and they're able to identify where a lot of their anxiety is coming from. And if we can distinguish more clearly between, you know, what I really can control and what I cannot control, it can help us navigate a little bit better in our daily lives. The challenges that we face, the problems that come our way in any given day, it's never really going to change. We're always going to be faced with obstacles. Every day is a new day. Yep, absolutely important to approach the day with a positive mindset. Stronger than I think I am. Obstacles are simply opportunities. I'm not going to be a victim of anything. Healthy sense of humor to navigate through some of the challenging things that we face. But trying to keep a healthy, healthy balancing center within ourselves is a worthwhile goal day by day. Ending the day with a mindset, I'm not going to let some of the things I'm going to come across today just naturally, whether it's driving on the road or whatever it is, I'm not going to let things irritate me. I once had an individual, he was a business person who spent most of his time on the road and he said something that made a significant difference in his life. He would always drive in the slow lane and he'd simply drive the speed limit. So he'd be in the far right-hand lane and he'd just drive the speed limit and he says it had reduced the amount of anxiety that he was dealing with on a regular basis. And he started to, because he used to be an aggressive driver, you know, in and out of cars and and then he got to the point where he said, this is driving me crazy. And so he started to calculate the difference of going from point A to point B. If he was going 70 miles an hour and then he was going 55 miles an hour. And then he just came to the conclusion, at the end of the day, if he'd just slow down and go in the right-hand lane, he would arrive at a location maybe five minutes later. It was no big deal. And so that one system change in his life has reduced his anxiety significantly. Test it out. Think about it when you're driving. See how that works for you and reducing because most of our time we're to spend on the road. And don't let road rage get you. Just drive in the right-hand lane and drive slow. Don't be an aggressive driver and see what a difference that makes in your life.

Article: Finding Purpose and Overcoming Challenges

Introduction

Consider the following statement from Michelangelo. The greater danger lies in not setting our sights too high and falling short but in setting our sights too low and achieving our mark.

Embracing a Leap of Faith

Perhaps one of our most significant challenges is just making a leap of faith and believing in ourselves that we can do great things, find our purpose in life, and fulfill that purpose or mission, whatever that might be.

Uniqueness and Divine Purpose

There's only one of you. There will never in all eternity be another person exactly like you. I believe that every one of us has a divine purpose, mission, and purpose. And one of the main reasons individuals enter therapy is finding, is help in finding or seeking help in finding what that purpose is and their mission.

Seeking Guidance and Purpose

And I believe as we slow down in this unbelievable, fast-paced world where so many things are seeking our attention, we're distracted from stillness and silence. And it's only in those moments that if you look inside yourself and pay attention to your deepest feelings and yearnings, you will be directed and guided into fulfilling your purpose.

Inner Exploration and Fulfillment

One of the things that I commonly hear in my sessions with clients, I just am so confused. I don't know what to do right now with this particular situation. And my work with them is helping them discover their answers. I have learned that as one gets engaged and moves, things start to open up hour by hour, day by day.

Reflecting on Actions and Values

Answers and direction come, but it comes only; well, I wouldn't say only; most of the time, it comes when you're engaged in a process when you're working on something. You get one small impression, one thought, one idea, and then you follow that thought or idea, which leads to another and then to another, and things emerge when you're in the process. But in saying that, I would encourage you to look deep inside yourself and ask yourself, is this action that I'm about to participate in what a good person or a bad person would do?

Challenges in the Current Culture

And I'm pulling that thought from the ancient Greek philosophers; I think it's Socrates who said that when confronted with any issue, you ask yourself, is this what a good person or a bad person would do? One of the most significant challenges we face in our current culture is that that's almost become taboo even to consider the possibility that something might be right or wrong. Somehow, in this distracted, crazy world, it's just been fogged over, clouded over, that there are actions that will help direct you in certain areas.

Embracing Life's Obstacles

Some actions will keep you in the fog and distracted, and perhaps the very purpose of this life is to face obstacles and challenges that we get to work on and overcome and then move to the next level and the next level as things continue to emerge. And you know, at the end of the day, obstacles will never stop presenting themselves, but we can look at them as challenges and opportunities to grow, or we can become frustrated by them, stuck and frozen.

Listening to the Still Small Voice

It seems like all there is is continual movement and change. Whatever is keeping you stuck right now, or whatever is frustrating you right now, there is a way out, but you have got to find it. No one can tell you what to do. There are so many so-called experts in the world, and we're always searching for someone to show us the way, but the way can only be found inside yourself, listening to that still small voice that will guide and direct you.

Taking a Pause for Reflection

But how can any of us listen to the still, small voice, some refer to it as a conscience, when we're constantly distracted with things that are so loud, so aggressive, and so demanding? Take some time away from the world. Pause. Push the pause button. Sit and reflect on your life.

Embracing Self-Exploration

What are the major obstacles you're dealing with or avoiding right now? And as you become engaged in seeking answers for yourself, you know, this is, it goes back to what Shakespeare said, this above all, to thine own self be true, and as night follows day, then thou canst be false to no man. Be patient with yourself in the process.

Patience in the Journey

As you look at nature, nature is slow and consistent in many ways, and then there are sometimes when a massive event happens, you know, a hurricane comes. We live through, I lived through Hurricane Ian when it hit here in Florida last year, and so sometimes significant things happen in our life, but generally speaking. So we have to be open to all that, but generally speaking, it's the slow and steady, consistent process, day by day, week by week, that you're consistently moving in a direction, seeking to find your purpose.

Asking the Right Questions

Learn to ask the right questions. Is this right for me, or is this not right for me? Trust your gut.

One of the Operation Underground Railroad agents said he had to get out of it. He was worried about his own family. I praise these guys for what they’re doing, bringing light to this issue, but it’s just a part of the problem.

There is no consistent long-term aftercare program for these individuals who come from sex slavery. We are sorely underfunded. The company I worked with ran four-day healing retreats for adult survivors of childhood sexual abuse but didn’t even deal with children.

When you work in a psychiatric hospital, you hear codes over the loudspeaker that mean there’s a client out of control. In this particular hospital, we didn’t have security; nurses were the security.

A 13-year-old girl was standing facing a window, refusing to return to the unit, and hitting her head against the window. Staff had to take her down and forcefully get her back to the unit, and she was screaming and yelling.

Some things on clinicians’ minds were increasing funding and long-term aftercare programs for individuals dealing with PTSD and trauma issues. She was reminded of one of the founding fathers of America who said that our freedom in this democracy will only be valuable to a moral people.

Purpose and meaning in life are found in the journey, being engaged in something, and doing something. Because of Social Media like TikTok, a 16-year-old boy can be worth millions of dollars, but he doesn’t know what it’s like to work and struggle for 10 to 15 years to get something.

I’ve seen the weakening of the psyche as time has gone on due to instant gratification. The idea of working for something long-term, with a long-term goal, is missing from society and weakening our civilization as a whole. We live in an environment of instant gratification. We’re at risk of greater travesties unless we increase our awareness and put things in place to help ourselves.

I’m grateful to those guys rescuing these children, but we don’t have all of the resources to help them. The focus needs to be on developing a facility where women who have been trafficked can come. One of my friends who worked with Tim Ballard returned from a third-world country and said that virtue is the answer; virtue is putting off instant gratification for something more worthwhile in the long run.

We live in a society where we can’t even ask whether something is right or wrong? We’ve done that with our freedom, and social media is weakening people’s minds and mentalities and making them think that everything is just okay.

We live in a world where there is good and evil. We must take a stand in our lives and not let evil triumph by being passive and pretending it doesn’t exist.

When I was younger, a mentor asked me the most critical question that changed the course of my life when I was 33. “What will your life look like in 5 years if you don’t go back to school?” I realized I would be worse off and broke while caring for a family.

We’re not going to live forever, so we have to take a look into our own lives and say, where are we heading? If you listen to yourself, you’ll know what you need to do, just like I knew when I was 33 I needed to return to school.

The famous Charles Dickens story of Ebenezer Scrooge looking into the future and seeing what was coming meant that the end where he was going had not happened and he could change his life. This brings in some quantum physics, with a million possibilities.

I would encourage you to use your imagination to project yourself into the future and dialogue with the best personification of yourself. Do what that future you says, and you will eventually get there rather than wandering without direction.

Ebeneezer Scrooge saw his tombstone and what would transpire if he did not make some changes. However, he chose to make changes, and his future was changed.

Look into your future; what does it look like in five years? There are a million possibilities, probably 10 billion. You have unlimited potential versions; use your imagination to find the best personification of yourself and start a dialogue with that version of yourself to eventually get there.

No one has clearly been able to delineate why things are, so we’re each left in this perfect schooling environment to figure that out and search deep in our souls for meaning.

It’s important to constantly learn and study to be a mindful warrior:

Continue to learn more an look around my site and subscribe at https://gordonbruin.com

One of the books that I pulled up my shelf, I don't know how many times, during the last 20 years. It's made a profound impact on me. I go back to some of the concepts in there over and over again.

It's a book called the Mind and the Brain Doctor Jeffrey Schwartz. I love the subtitle neuroplasticity and the power of mental force. He's the first guy that I came across that, talked about the physical brain and the mind being something different. the brain body is the physical part of us, but the mind We do wanna call it the spirit, the soul, intelligence, whatever it is. They're they're different things and they the body acts on the mind, the mind acts on the body. And it just makes so much sense to me as I have worked with those who are struggling with addiction issues, anxiety, depression, so forth.

Listen to this sentence, and then I wanna talk about it for just just a couple minutes. The only willful choice one has is the quality of attention one gives to a thought at any moment. So this book is about free will. This book is about choice. It's kind of mind boggling to me that there really are people in the world today who don't believe in free choice. They are, of what's called the materialist mindset. a determined mindset. Just thinking that we are kind of robots and we're acted upon by our genes and there's really nothing we can do individually to change that. Just makes absolutely sense to me.

I don't agree with it. It would if that were the case, life would have absolutely no meaning. So I love the concept of choice of agency that we are the ones that determine the quality of our life If we don't like where things are going, we absolutely have the capacity to do something about it. Doctor Schwartz, he he worked with those who struggled with severe OCD issues.

And he he absolutely acknowledged and recognized that the brain impacts the mind when the brain somehow gets wired a little bit differently, it's off meaning that it will send compulsive thoughts to do something from the deeper regions of the brain and the prefrontal cortex higher functioning part of the brain where the mind works through. The mind can inhibit and restructure and reframe the compulsion or drive that is hitting the person, and and they can actually go and perform another behavior. 1 of the key concepts has to do with awareness, increasing our level of awareness.

This is what mindfulness is all about, learning to recognize certain thoughts, recognize triggers, and he scientifically in the book it it brings it out shows that when we have a compulsion or a trigger or an idea to do something, there's a part that fires in the brain before any action happens. And this reminds me of that classical statement by Victor Franco. He is so credible to me.

Victor Franco is a guy who -- through the horrors of of the Holocaust. in a concentration camp for a number of years. I think it was 4 years and and lost most of his loved ones. and even in those conditions, he he this is why he's so critical when he said this. Notwithstanding that all his freedom was taken away physically, He was in prison. He was told what he could eat. He was forced to work. He was freezing, holes in his shoes, so forth, and anyway, here's the statement that he he made everything can be taken from a man but one thing the last of human freedoms to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstance to choose one's own way. between stimulus and response, there is a space.

So back to what Jeffrey Sports talks about He says there really is scientifically when we have an intention to do something, there's a little space between stimulus of even a thought There's a space where we choose our response. So back to what Victor Frankel says between stimulus and response, there is a space In that space is our power to choose our response and in our response lies our growth and our freedom. except for the rare cases where individuals are struggling with severe mental disorders like schizophrenia So the science behind schizophrenia when people are hearing different voices and so forth, this part of the brain, the prefrontal cortex isn't working. I mean, it's not working correctly in that. It can send a thought going, I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to follow that.

There's only a few rare cases where we don't have the capacity to make the changes that we truly want. We have free will and free won't. and when we inhibit a trigger from coming and do something different neuroplasticity means that the very hard wiring in our brain through repeated repeated effort, what what Doctor Schwartz talks about mental force. That means it's an energy of thought a perception. And as a matter of fact, going back to Victor Franco, there was a time when he was he was gone. He was out on a march. and he was malnourished, had holes and issues. It was freezing in the wintertime and that they had to go out and work.

Can you imagine that? know, when the shovel hit hit and frozen ground trying to do stuff in any way, he just kinda stumbled and and hit the ground. And when he was on the ground, and it was the worst place to be because the the soldiers would come and beat people who were on the ground, He he was down there and thinking, wow, is this really the end? Am I gonna be able to get through this at all? and then he said he had a thought, a vision.

This again, why a vision statement, mental force putting something out there in in in the future for yourself to draw on. He saw himself in his mind's eye projecting into the just standing in front of an audience telling them how he survived the horrors of the Holocaust. in a concentration camp. And he said when he had that thought, he found his body standing up and somehow he was able to continue on with that day. And subsequently to the point where one day he was actually standing in front of an audience telling them how he survived and it has to do with our will, our agency, We really do have choice. We cannot minimize the power of the physical brain and the physical body especially when it hooks to Olympic type instant gratification behaviors.

That's why That's why a drug addiction is so powerful. It rewires the brain to respond to certain ways. My pornography is such a big issue All of these things, however, just they do not provide lasting peace they do not provide lasting happiness.

There's instant gratification or being able to exert your will mindfully acknowledging the trigger when it comes. I'm not saying deny the trigger and I'm not saying this is easy but we do have a place within this. It's all powerful. is that the cord is mindful peace, the intelligent force of ines that can cause things to happen through mental effort through projecting thoughts, thinking certain things and mindfulness is all about choosing which thoughts we're going to attend to. life is a matter of attention and we have the capacity to do that. So when when one has a trigger, no matter what it is, and then I'm not and again acknowledging how challenging it is to deal with triggers.

Play the tape all the way through stop for a moment burry, you can go, if I act on this behavior or act up this behavior where this thought wants me to go, what is going to be the outcome? Is the instant gratification going to be worth it? in that moment, we do have the power to go. I acknowledge that. They understand where it's coming from. I understand the craving because my brain, there it is, my limbic system, there it, capital, it, it,

My brain is wired a certain way and it's dry me to do this through repetition. It's how we're wired That's why breaking habits can be so challenging, but but mindfully becoming aware it can be done. and instead of acting on the behavior, acknowledge it. There it is. Yep, my body, brain is craving, anticipating a reward and I, however, am going to turn and go this way. I experienced that every morning at the gym. I just got back from the gym a little bit ago. lifted heavier weights today than I ever had before. Just working because I I'm reading I'm actually listening to this book on tape too over and over again through the years.

And anyway, I just plugged it in again. day and I'm going, okay. Every time I sit down to do a set of weights, there's a part in me in my brain that says, this is this is causing too much pain. You you can't do this, and then there's another part. My mind just said, let's just give it a try. I visualize that you can do this and then I just and then I just start and go to work and all of a sudden I'm able to accomplish things that I've never accomplished before. And I kinda dance with that every day as we all do in different things, but We are stronger than we think we are. We do have the capacity to change, to grow, to develop. to create that future vision of ourselves. I love, again, the playwright George Bernard, our chop. Life is not about finding yourself life is about creating yourself.

We do have the capacity within us to choose a love statement by the Greek philosopher of Thucydides. A great warrior from history. Listen to what he said. of all manifestations of power restraint impresses men the most. even Marcus Aurelius, one of the most powerful leaders in history. So this guy could have anything he wants and then this is what he says. pleasures when unrestrained become punishments. So there's gotta be wisdom. There's gotta be a balance in what we allow ourselves to do as we navigate through life and it's always challenging, right? Do I have that other bowl of ice cream or not?

Do I have 6 chocolate chip cookies or maybe want, do I exercise today or do I not? All of these things are constantly before us, but if you create a vision for yourself, how do you want to be physically relationship wise, emotionally, spiritually, you create this vision. You're not there yet. We're never completely there, right? That just seems to be the purpose of life. We're always grasping and searching for that but it's in that journey that life has its meaning and you can find great joy in relationships learning not to be a victim of anything. Treat others with respect and dignity. It's it's getting back to some of the the foundational beliefs of the founding fathers of this of this country and and the Greek philosophers. Anyway, just a couple thoughts.

I wanna share great fantastic read. I could just go on and on about the value of this book and and how it's impacted me from a scientific point of view of mindfulness So, again, you know, make today the best you possibly can, gather key rosebuds, well gee, may, While time is still a fly in for the same flower that blooms today, tomorrow will be a dying. Can the Latin turn for that meeting, Carpe diem? seize the day. We haven't lived today yet, and and though we've lived many days in the past, we haven't lived today yet. So we don't know what's gonna happen out there.

So send some positive thoughts. Send some it's a positive direction for yourself as you're moving forward. Remember the Greek philosopher, Harry Kiley said no man ever steps into the same river twice because it's not the same river and he's not the same man. Today's a new day. Don't give up. Keep moving forward. If you've been working on something for a long period of time and been frustrated by it. Hey, today may be the day. Keep moving forward. making a great day.

So today, I want to focus on the power of relationships in psychotherapy.One of another book one of my favorite books is called The Road List Travel by M. Scott Peck.He wrote this book way back in 1978.It's been on my shelf for years, and I've pulled it off so many times.So many times, though, that it's actually fallen apart, bindings.But I love something that he says that I agree with.And this is about the relationship.We are now able to see the essential ingredient that makes psychotherapy effective and successful.It is not unconditional positive regard, nor is it magical words, techniques, or postures.It is human involvement and struggle.It is the willingness of the therapist to extend himself or herself for the purpose of nurturing the patient's growth.Willingness to go out on a limb, to truly involve oneself at an emotional level in the relationship,to actually struggle with the patient and with oneself.In short, the essential ingredient of successful,deep and meaningful psychotherapy is love.I love that definition.Deep and meaningful psychotherapy is love.Love is, as he says in his book.Love is as love does.Love is not soft.Love is not fluffy.Love is not taking the easy way.It's about being willing to engage in a relationship where another human being is struggling or suffering.And for a therapist, there's another great book called On Being a Therapist. Dr.Or Jeffrey a Kotler.A lot of this book, at least the preface,talks about the relationship not only how the therapist is supposed to influence the patients or clients seeking help, but how the therapists themselves are influenced.A couple of things he says.One thing that is not this is the revised edition.One thing that has not changed much since the first publication of this book is that the process of psychotherapy still flows in two directions.This is obviously the case in the direction of influencing the client, but it is also true with respect to affecting the personal life of the clinician.This impact can be, for better or for worse, making the helping professions among the most spiritually fulfilling as well as the most emotionally draining human endeavors.Some of us flourish as a result of this work.We learn from those we try to help and apply what we know and understand to ourselves.And some of us become depleted and despondent over time.We may become cynical or indifferent, or stale.Can the therapist be immune to the influence of prolonged exposure to human despair, conflict, and suffering?So just for me personally, after doing this work for many years, I've experienced what he's talking about both.I love the work.I love being fully engaged with those I'm privileged to work with.Not only do I hopefully encourage them and help them find some relief from their suffering, but I've learned a lot in the process also.But it really does go both ways.I'm reminded of a good friend who finally got his license.It's not an easy process to get your license, of being a psychotherapist anyway,or a licensed mental health counselor.From start to finish.It's 4567.It's about ten years, 910 years of pretty grueling work and effort before you finally have your license, an independent license, where you don't need to be supervised by anyone, et cetera.And I remember one individual finally getting his license, finally getting it.And when you're in that state where you're hoping to get your license and pass your final exams and so forth, it's just a grueling process.He walked down the hall of the clinic we were working, and he showed me his little magic cord.I got my license, and then he said to me, blew me away.He says I'm not going to do this work.And they go, what do you mean?Because I can't do it.I get too wrapped up in my clients.I can't sleep at night.It tears me up when I don't see clients get better.I feel like a failure.I just can't do this work.I'm going to go do something else.And that's what he did.So, yeah, in a sense, it's like a war zone dealing with human suffering.But to me, personally, I don't think anything could be more worthwhile than being engaged in this work.But it comes at risks.Like, for example, this very last week, and I've been doing this work for a long time, I met with an individual, 30-year-old young man.I truly believe he's the most depressed person I have ever come across in my life.30 years old.He has not worked for two years.His parents don't know what to do.They've tried everything.They're supporting him in therapy.They're financially supporting him in an apartment.And I've talked to him hundreds of times, but to no avail.He's stuck and frozen and in the deepest,darkest place of anyone that I've seen.It's not suicidal.He wishes he weren't here, but he doesn't want to kill himself, right?And so just meeting with him, the impact of that on me, I felt it.I felt a sense of his hopelessness because I, as a therapist, experienced some hopelessness in every single angle I am was trying with through motivational interviewing.Just all of the things I've studied through the years that usually work, that help people relieve some suffering, didn't seem to be working,did not seem to be making an impact.So what does the therapist do with something like that?You need to allow the client to have their pain and suffering.I can't change him, and I know that I need to take care of myself in the process and still show up,be able to bear his suffering in a dignified manner, be there with him, sit there with him in that feeling of hopelessness, just letting him know that he is not alone.I once also worked with an incest survivor.One of the most challenging cases I have ever dealt with.I worked with her for eight years.During the first few sessions in therapy, she would come into my office, and walk in.My door was over here.She would walk in, and I had a couch right in front of me and a couch right here to the side of me.She would walk over and sit down on the couch next to me so that she was not facing me, but that she was looking at me and looking at the door.And usually, as I begin a therapy session, I will say they said to her, can you tell me a little bit about yourself and what brings you here today?And she just sat here like that, and she didn't speak for the first two sessions.So what do I do with that?You're a therapist.What do you do with that?I just sat with it.That's all I did.Understanding a little bit about what must.