Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family

Join us for an extraordinary interview with Fr. Jay Donahue, a priest of the Diocese of Pittsburgh who has a heart for marriage and a deep and abiding love for Christ. We discuss with Fr. Jay the impact that his own large family had on him, how couples can image Christ's love for the Church and the importance of the Blessed Mother in the lives of priests and everyone in the Church. He even dives into the sexual scandals that have plagued our Church with extraordinary love and compassion. You will be inspired hearing his passion for marriage and God's vision for marriage. We hope you enjoy this interview!

Webinar on Holy Week as a Family: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/holy-week-webinar/

5 Week Family Board Meeting Course: https://messyfamilyhood.com/family-board-meeting-registration/

Discipline is the issue that we get the most questions about probably because there is so much conflicting advice for parents out there. The bottom line is that every couple must decide for themselves how they will form the children that God has given to them. But, don’t worry, we do have some principles and encouragement to give you! In this episode, we discuss the importance of Respect in the home. For children to truly be obedient and secure in their family, they need to respect their parents. Evidence of this respect is what we call “first-time obedience”. Yes, it is possible and parents should expect it of their children.

Download our Discipline Guide:https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/discipline-guide/

Join waiting list for next Family Board Meeting: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/family-board-meeting-2021/

Discipline is the issue that we get the most questions about probably because there is so much conflicting advice for parents out there. The bottom line is that every couple must decide for themselves how they will form the children that God has given to them. But, don't worry, we do have some principles and encouragement to give you! In this episode, we discuss the importance of Respect in the home. For children to truly be obedient and secure in their family, they need to respect their parents. Evidence of this respect is what we call "first-time obedience". Yes, it is possible and parents should expect it of their children.

Download our Discipline Guide:https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/discipline-guide/

Join waiting list for next Family Board Meeting: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/family-board-meeting-2021/

Looking for ideas on how to celebrate Lent as a couple or as a family? Listen in! When a married person celebrates Lent, especially when they have children, it looks very different than how a single person or religious does it. Lent is a time to take stock of how we are responding to God’s grace to become who He is calling us to be. How are we becoming a better wife, mother, husband, or father? To really invest in Lent this year, we want to encourage you to consider commitments of prayer, fasting and mercy all in light of your married vocation. We have provided a great resource for you on our website -- Cana90! Sign up to receive daily emails of encouragement, tracking sheet, services for the Triduum, ideas for weekend celebrations with children, and more! Sign up for free online or order the book. Let us walk with you and encourage each other on our Lenten journey.

Become a member of the Neighborhood: https://messyfamilyhood.com/join-jan-2021/

Cana90 and Stations Books : https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/cana90/

Looking for ideas on how to celebrate Lent as a couple or as a family? Listen in! When a married person celebrates Lent, especially when they have children, it looks very different than how a single person or religious does it. Lent is a time to take stock of how we are responding to God's grace to become who He is calling us to be. How are we becoming a better wife, mother, husband, or father? To really invest in Lent this year, we want to encourage you to consider commitments of prayer, fasting and mercy all in light of your married vocation. We have provided a great resource for you on our website -- Cana90! Sign up to receive daily emails of encouragement, tracking sheet, services for the Triduum, ideas for weekend celebrations with children, and more! Sign up for free online or order the book. Let us walk with you and encourage each other on our Lenten journey.

Become a member of the Neighborhood: https://messyfamilyhood.com/join-jan-2021/

CANA 90 and Stations Books : https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/cana90/

In marriage, it's very easy to fall into patterns and just “settle” for a relationship that is functional at best. But it doesn’t matter if you have been married one year, twenty-five years, or fifty years. We all need to continue to pursue our spouse. Here are seven tips to help you do just that.

In 1924, Eric Liddell gave up his place to compete in the Olympics final heat of the 100m race because it was held on a Sunday. He probably would have won that race, but his desire to keep the Lord’s Day holy stopped him. Would we have that courage? Starting in Exodus, the Lord has asked HIs people to keep holy His day. He commands us to set it apart from all other days to honor Him, but also for our own good! God will never ask us to do something that is not good for us, and He COMMANDS us to do things essential for our health and well-being. How does your family set this day apart? Have you been influenced by the culture, especially with the restrictions put upon us by the pandemic? How are you setting this day apart from all other days in your home? Listen in for encouragement and ideas on how to reclaim the Lord’s Day.

** Lenten program for couples - join us for Cana 90: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/cana90/

** Join our membership site, the Messy Family Neighborhood: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/membership/

In 1924, Eric Liddell gave up his place to compete in the Olympics final heat of the 100m race because it was held on a Sunday. He probably would have won that race, but his desire to keep the Lord's Day holy stopped him. Would we have that courage? Starting in Exodus, the Lord has asked HIs people to keep holy His day. He commands us to set it apart from all other days to honor Him, but also for our own good! God will never ask us to do something that is not good for us, and He COMMANDS us to do things essential for our health and well-being. How does your family set this day apart? Have you been influenced by the culture, especially with the restrictions put upon us by the pandemic? How are you setting this day apart from all other days in your home? Listen in for encouragement and ideas on how to reclaim the Lord's Day.

• Lenten program for couples - join us for Cana 90: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/cana90/
• Join our membership site, the Messy Family Neighborhood: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/membership/

Why does God give us children?  He gives them to us to teach us to love Him.

The problem for us is that loving God benefits us more than it benefits Him. He gave us life. We can’t give Him that. He can give us eternal life. We can’t give Him that. We will never be able to love God the way He loves us. It is always an unequal exchange.

But He wants us to be able to do that. And so He gives us children, so that we can learn to love the way He loves. And He starts so gently with us, doesn’t He?  

When children are infants, we are asked to love them by caring for their physical needs and we learn to deny ourselves sleep and convenience, in order to gradually allow these little children, who can’t even talk, to enter our world. We are all selfish, and babies start to chip away at that selfishness on a physical level. God is so kind to us. He makes babies super cute and cuddly and He even gives us hormones to help us love this little one!  He starts us out easily. 

Then, as kids get older, we learn to love them by controlling our emotions and tempers.  We still are in charge of our kids, for the most part, we are making all the choices and creating the environment for them. But sometimes they embarrass us in the store or say unexpected things, or make a mess at someone’s house. They start intruding into our lives more than before. Our homes change to accommodate them, our schedule changes, and we start making time for THEIR activities. Our selfishness is chipped away a bit more now and we have to give more of our time and energy, even more than we did when they were infants.  

Then kids hit the teen years and they exercise their independence, as they should, and all of a sudden we are called to love them on a new level. We need to love them by letting them go. By giving them freedom. Freedom to choose good or to choose evil. Darn, that free will!  But isn’t this what God does with us? He gives us this great gift of children, so we can learn to love Him.

It’s a scary thing to love our children so much and watch them walk away from us or grow distant from us as they become teens. We don’t get those comments any more like, “Mommy you’re so pretty” or “Daddy, play with me!”  Now we get scowls, blank stare, silent car rides. We are now being called to love without getting anything in return. It’s a new level of love and devotion to children who is making their own choices, becoming independent, and may even be separating themselves from you. You don’t have the feedback and positive reinforcement from them you got when they were young.  But you are still called to love.  

And paradoxically, the way we most learn to love as our Heavenly Father loves is when our children rebel and even sin against us.  If you can continue to communicate to them that they were created good, that you delight in them, that they will always be your beloved son or daughter… if we can communicate that truth to them even in the moments when they think they hate us or what we stand for, then we are truly loving as God loves. 

What if you have adult children who are living according to the path you have shown them? The heartache is still there because you have to let them go. You will always love them far more than they realize, and that can be hard to take. It’s is always an unequal exchange.  

But that is how we learn to love God the way He loves us. When we love our children, we are able to love as God loves us. God gives us that chance!

God gives us our children to teach us how to love, and He also gives us an example of how to love. He has given us His Son, Jesus and the best example of how to love is the life of Christ Himself. He changed His life for us: by His death, He completely poured out of His life for us.

Our children do not exist for us. We exist for them. The purpose of their lives is not to be our children, but the purpose of our lives is to be their parent.