Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family

January is a time of beginnings and new resolutions. The best way to make plans for the future is to evaluate where you are today! You can’t get directions unless you know where you are. In this podcast, we give you some encouragement as well as a method to assess where your family is at using our Five Elements of Family Culture. We hope that doing this assessment will inspire you to do your own Family Board Meeting, but even if you don’t, knowing where you are will help your family to make plans for your future.

*** Find out more about our February weekend workshop on the Family Board Meeting: https://messyfamilyhood.com/family-board-meeting-registration/

Two Quizzes:

Five Love Languages Quiz - https://www.5lovelanguages.com/quizzes/couples-quiz/

Temperaments Quiz - http://www.temperamentquiz.com/

January is a time of beginnings and new resolutions. The best way to make plans for the future is to evaluate where you are today! You can't get directions unless you know where you are. In this podcast, we give you some encouragement as well as a method to assess where your family is at using our Five Elements of Family Culture. We hope that doing this assessment will inspire you to do your own Family Board Meeting, but even if you don't, knowing where you are will help your family to make plans for your future.

*** Find out more about our February weekend workshop on the Family Board Meeting: https://messyfamilyhood.com/family-board-meeting-registration/

Two Quizzes:Five Love Languages Quiz - https://www.5lovelanguages.com/quizzes/couples-quiz/

Temperaments Quiz - http://www.temperamentquiz.com/

We are asked very often how parents can create an environment in the home that will keep their kids close to the faith. To help give parents even more resources for this, we decided to interview Colin and Aimee MacIver, who are both parents, teachers, and authors for Ascension Press. They have created resources for parents to help them catechize their children and also to communicate the beautiful truths found in the Theology of the Body. Both Colin and Aimee are kindred spirits who have a heart for teens and their parents. They bring a wealth of experience and wisdom that we think you will benefit from! Also, we discuss our upcoming free webinar and paid Family Board Meeting workshop designed to help parents create a game plan for their family as we begin 2021. Listen in!

*** Find out more about our February weekend workshop on the Family Board Meeting: https://messyfamilyhood.com/family-board-meeting-registration/

Resources from Colin and Aimee:

- The Catechist's Field Guide to Confirmation, by Colin MacIver - https://ascensionpress.com/products/the-catechists-field-guide-to-confirmation

- Theology of the Body for Teens, Middle School Edition, Colin & Aimee MacIver, contributors - https://ascensionpress.com/products/theology-of-the-body-for-teens-middle-school-edition-student-pack-includes-online-course-access

- Baptism: Belonging in the Family of God, Parent's Guide, Colin & Aimee MacIver, authors - https://ascensionpress.com/products/belonging-parents-guide-1

- Quick Catholic Lessons with Fr. Mike Schmitz - https://ascensionpress.com/collections/quick-catholic-lessons-with-fr-mike-vol-2

We are asked very often how parents can create an environment in the home that will keep their kids close to the faith. To help give parents even more resources for this, we decided to interview Colin and Aimee MacIver, who are both parents, teachers, and authors for Ascension Press. They have created resources for parents to help them catechize their children and also to communicate the beautiful truths found in the Theology of the Body. Both Colin and Aimee are kindred spirits who have a heart for teens and their parents. They bring a wealth of experience and wisdom that we think you will benefit from! Also, we discuss our upcoming free webinar and paid Family Board Meeting workshop designed to help parents create a game plan for their family as we begin 2021. Listen in!

*** Find out more about our February weekend workshop on the Family Board Meeting: https://messyfamilyhood.com/family-board-meeting-registration/

Resources from Colin and Aimee: - The Catechist's Field Guide to Confirmation, by Colin MacIver - https://ascensionpress.com/products/the-catechists-field-guide-to-confirmation - Theology of the Body for Teens, Middle School Edition, Colin & Aimee MacIver, contributors - https://ascensionpress.com/products/theology-of-the-body-for-teens-middle-school-edition-student-pack-includes-online-course-access - Baptism: Belonging in the Family of God, Parent's Guide, Colin & Aimee MacIver, authors - https://ascensionpress.com/products/belonging-parents-guide-1 - Quick Catholic Lessons with Fr. Mike Schmitz - https://ascensionpress.com/collections/quick-catholic-lessons-with-fr-mike-vol-2

One of the greatest gifts we can give our children is another brother or sister. But as parents, our responsibility isn’t just to provide those siblings and just walk away saying, “Hope it all works out!” We need to provide the environment and guidance that children need to have healthy, life-giving relationships with their brothers and sisters. This is a challenge–no doubt about it!  But the effort that parents put into this formation is worth it in the long run.  

It is within our family that we are prepared for life.  Parents give boundaries and a framework with which children see the world, but their siblings “color in the picture” because it is within these relationships that children practice what their parents taught them. One of the hardest things for parents to do is allow children the freedom to practice virtue. How do we do that? 

Keep your perspective.  These children will have each other forever. Work on moving them in the right direction, but realize that they have a lifetime to figure out how to get along. A fight today doesn’t mean they will hate each other forever. 

Encourage them to forgive and ask forgiveness. Reconciliation doesn’t mean you say, “It’s ok.” Reconciliation is saying, “I forgive you.” Everyone makes mistakes and that’s ok. Your home is a place where virtue is practiced by people trying, failing, and getting back up again. You and your children do not have to be perfect every time, but you do have to keep trying.  

Give freedom within limits. You have to give freedom when you are forming virtue in your children. You can’t force them to be kind or to be grateful. If they aren’t choosing to share, for example, then they aren’t really being generous. What parents should do is provide the environment and the example of how to practice virtue. This means sometimes they won’t respond in the right way. You have to be ready for that. 

Tattle-telling is not tolerated. Siblings are to speak to each other first. If the other will not listen, then an adult may be consulted. Parents should intervene as a last resort (see next point).

Be careful about intervening. It is best to give them time to work things out. If they can’t work it out, make your solution disagreeable to both of them. They will tend to want to work things out on their own after that.  

Hang out with your kids. When you play with a few kids, you are modeling how to have fun together. Especially when you chose to spend time with two siblings who don’t get along. Fun “greases the gears” in their everyday relationships. 

Remember you won’t always be around. You must be intentional about building strong, healthy relationships among your children. They aren’t just siblings for their childhood–they will have each other the rest of their lives. And this is the greatest gift you can give them.  

References:  MP95 Sibling Challenges; MP52 Your Kids CAN be Best Friends; MP60 Forgiveness

There are many parents who look for advice from friends, and sometimes the responses are in the form of absolute declarations about the “only way” to parent. In reality, many parenting matters are best left to an individual’s judgment. As Catholics, we believe that there are certain issues that are black and white, but not everything falls into that category! The first step to responding to others with charity is to realize that our way is not always the way for everyone. In this episode, we also take on a question about discipline when you have 3 under 3, which gives us the chance to talk about toddlers - one of our favorite topics! And we play a recording of a question sent in by a listener about mentoring teen boys whose brains are being flooded with testosterone. Our answer? Look to the elephants. No, really, we do say that. Listen in and join the conversation!

**Sign up for the free webinar on the Family Board Meeting: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/family-board-meeting-2021/

For More:

Elephants and Dads- https://www.fatherhood.org/fatherhood/humans-and-elephants-both-fare-better-with-dads-around

Catholic Differences- https://reginadoman.blogspot.com/2020/12/my-family-church-church-as-big-rowdy.html

Discipling and Disciplining Our Teenagers- https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/mp-064-discipling-and-disciplining-our-teenagers-pt-1/

Guide to Discipline- https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/discipline-guide/

There are many parents who look for advice from friends, and sometimes the responses are in the form of absolute declarations about the "only way" to parent. In reality, many parenting matters are best left to an individual's judgment. As Catholics, we believe that there are certain issues that are black and white, but not everything falls into that category! The first step to responding to others with charity is to realize that our way is not always the way for everyone. In this episode, we also take on a question about discipline when you have 3 under 3, which gives us the chance to talk about toddlers - one of our favorite topics! And we play a recording of a question sent in by a listener about mentoring teen boys whose brains are being flooded with testosterone. Our answer? Look to the elephants. No, really, we do say that. Listen in and join the conversation!

**Sign up for the free webinar on the Family Board Meeting: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/family-board-meeting-2021/

For More:

• Elephants and Dads- https://www.fatherhood.org/fatherhood/humans-and-elephants-both-fare-better-with-dads-around
• Catholic Differences- https://reginadoman.blogspot.com/2020/12/my-family-church-church-as-big-rowdy.html
• Discipling and Disciplining Our Teenagers- https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/mp-064-discipling-and-disciplining-our-teenagers-pt-1/
• Guide to Discipline- https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/discipline-guide/

If you've been wondering how to bring the rich traditions of the Catholic Church's liturgical year into your home and into your family, this is the podcast for you! In it, we interview Kendra Tierney of Catholic All Year about incorporating the richness of our faith into the life of your family. Kendra has lots of great ideas for moms and dads of all ages and family sizes. After discussing the importance of incorporating Catholic traditions into family life we talk about what to do with kids of various ages, or when you have a spouse who is not enthusiastic about new traditions. Kendra has some truly great wisdom to share! Because this was an interview with our member site (the messy family neighborhood), we also have some great questions from other parents included in this podcast. Listen in and get inspired to strengthen your family’s culture this Advent and Christmas season.

Referenced:

Maidens Course: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/maidens-course/

Support our ministry to families: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/give/

Board Meeting Webinar: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/join/

Kendra Tierney’s resources and books: https://catholicallyear.com/

If you've been wondering how to bring the rich traditions of the Catholic Church's liturgical year into your home and into your family, this is the podcast for you! In it, we interview Kendra Tierney of Catholic All Year about incorporating the richness of our faith into the life of your family. Kendra has lots of great ideas for moms and dads of all ages and family sizes. After discussing the importance of incorporating Catholic traditions into family life we talk about what to do with kids of various ages, or when you have a spouse who is not enthusiastic about new traditions. Kendra has some truly great wisdom to share! Because this was an interview with our member site (the messy family neighborhood), we also have some great questions from other parents included in this podcast. Listen in and get inspired to strengthen your family's culture this Advent and Christmas season.

Referenced:

Maidens Course: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/maidens-course/

Support our ministry to families: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/give/

Board Meeting Webinar: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/join/

The use of technology is a major issue in most households. Tech is invading our homes in an unprecedented manner and the influence on our children is something we are just beginning to comprehend. How can parents effectively navigate these waters with their children? Kids need guidance in this area more than almost any other area of Life, but it is here where parents usually are completely unaware. In this essential podcast for parents we try to light a fire underneath you and show the seriousness of the tech situation with kids. We share our own experience and start giving you tips and tricks to guide your children on their tech use.

Referenced:

Maidens Course: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/maidens-course/

Support our ministry to families: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/give/