Midnight Crisis

"It's calling you, my dear, out of reach. Take me to my beach."

- Nobody has a radical new idea for anyone wanting to become a doctor without all the hard work.

- We detail Ben and Heidi Klum’s hypothetical relationship.

- We discuss the best age to get turned into a vampire.

- We celebrate having as many episodes as our old nemesis Cop Rock.

- Nobody doesn’t want to be famous.

- We discuss what makes a good and bad actor.

- Nobody has a newfound crush on Newt Scamander from Fantastic Beasts.

- Nobody details her Thai holiday 4D cinema going experience.

- We revamp the concept of the hotel buffet breakfast for late risers.

- Nobody is underwhelmed by the best public toilet in Bangkok.

- Nobody has the best banana smoothie ever but knows she will never be able to recapture the moment.

- Nobody goes to a fire twirling show and watches as several people get set on fire.

- Ben’s friend redeems himself by running a half marathon.

"I smell sex and candy here."

- We ponder whether candy is a food and if you can fill up on grapes?

- We discuss decorative chocolates and candles that are too nice to use.

- Nobody’s boyfriend got locked in Ben’s bathroom.

- Ben has an issue with the show All Of Us Are Dead’s makeshift bathroom solution.

- Ben puts Nobody’s statement that she ‘no longer has opinions’ to the test.

- Nobody orders sliders at the cinema and it ends in disaster.

- The podcast is beset by technical difficulties and we pick up two days later.

- Nobody finally finishes her hamburger story.

- We reminisce about the time they tried to serve half a pizza on The Apprentice

- We dispense some advice to a redditor with a urinal in his living room.

"Babe I got a plan, run away as fast as you can."

- Ben is annoyed by the 50 Cent coin.

- We’re recording in a new studio and have an exciting array of sound effects at our disposal.

- SMSiquette: Nobody’s delivers some bad news in the worst way possible.

- Nobody thinks she might be dead.

- Ben is introduced as ‘the guy with a car’.

- Julian goes to Mexico and compliments a friend on her ass.

"Generation next."

- Nobody is perpetually facing a minor tragedy.

- Ben is back in isolation after his roommate caught COVID.

- We discuss internal versus ‘external’ monologues.

- Ben is trying to decipher a compliment about his beard…or beanie.

- Ben can’t figure out what is going on with Posh Spice on the Spice Girls album cover.

- We discuss the latest trend in custom built WankPod’s.

- Ben scores some free chocolates and we discuss razor blades in candy.

"Nothing compares to you."

- Nobody moves into her friend’s house and her eyes are swollen shut.

- Ben shames Nobody on her birthday over her flying pan phone cover.

- We discuss breaking up on Valentine’s Day and why Ben hates the Moonlight Cinema.

- Drake puts hot sauce in his condoms.

- We dissect the hotel room advertisement from Nobody’s upcoming Thai holiday.

- Ben has an issue with Netflix’s new Fast Laugh’s feature.

- Ben’s favourite pasta sauce has been discontinued.

"I don’t want to wait for our lives to be over."

- Ben has a problem with choking on water.

- The Queen caught COVID and we discuss Jupiter’s many moons.

- We discuss Queen Elizabeth’s love of jump scares and corgis.

- Ben gets a serious infection but it’s not COVID!

- Ben asks why Chupa Chups are so hard to open?

- We analyse the confusing range of Panadol products.

- Nobody’s couch gets it’s fifteen minutes of fame.

“How many gold plaques you want inside your dining room?”

- Nobody wants wireless electricity and power outlets all over her house.

- Ben wants to try escaping a sinking car.

- We discuss Nobody’s fear of spiders and her brothers fear of emu attacks.

- Nobody can’t wrap her head around how anyone believed that the Cottingley fairies were real.

"I really can't stay…"

- Ben is upset by Antarctica’s lack of a flag.

- Ben provides an update on the pool girl.

- Nobody asks who should call back after a premature hang-up?

- We debut our new song ‘Baby It’s COVID Outside’.

- We discuss adult summer camps, clipboards and other signs you might be in a cult.

- Allison Mack’s courtroom sketch artist did her dirty.

- Ben analyses the weirdest signs in his new neighbourhood.

- We discuss the serious banana drama that occurred after Nobody’s last visit.

"Every now and then, I turn it on again but it's plain to see that the radio still sucks!"

- Ben poses a hypothetical about Ashton Kutcher and a wizard.

- Ben’s phone dies, forcing him into listening to commercial radio.

- We discuss the Omicron Covid variant and smallpox parties.

- Nobody’s phone dies and she struggles to contact her boyfriend.

- Ben got ‘Merry Christmased’ on New Year’s Eve.

- Nobody gets stuck in a conversational loop with a man on the beach.

- We discuss being honest when shop assistants asked how your day is.

- Nobody’s partner witnessed a death and was so traumatised that he had to move to another bar.

- Ben receives a confusing Happy New Year’s text from his friend Eddie.

- We discuss some of our friend’s unique ways of trying to fall asleep.

- Nobody and her brother solve a long running mystery, surrounding the movie Vanishing Act.

- We discuss the most memorable TV show cliffhangers.

- Ben discovers he’s a doppelgänger of the Ozzy Man Reviews guy.

- We discuss our back problems and Ben’s 300 pound Russian physiotherapist.

"You're as cuddly as a cactus. You're as charming as an eel."

- Ben asks how old you say you are when you verify your age online?

- Nobody pitches scented candles to match the video game you’re playing.

- Nobody reviews todays drink of the day, berry kombucha.

- In an unprecedented move, Ben picks up Nobody from her apartment.

- We do our annual Christmas check in with the Gävle goat.

- Ben returns to the gym after months of lockdown to disastrous results.

- Ben poses a question about swimming pool etiquette.

- After show: We establish the rules of the Gävle goat bet.