Midnight Crisis

"You and me together in a Tinderbox"

- We explore what annoys Nobody and her neighbour’s eclectic playlist.

- Ben swallows a big mint and gets its full caloric intake.

- Ben joins Tinder and we do a deep dive on dating apps.

- We swipe on some Tinder profiles and do Ben’s top picks.

- We discuss matching with people you know in real life.

- Ben goes on his first Tinder date.

- Nobody gets vaccinated and her husband runs out of a restaurant.

"Baby, I compare you to a kiss from a rose on the grey"

- We discuss replacing water fountain jugs, the joys of piercing the lid of a tube of ointment and Nobody’s Netflix related injury.

- We discuss flavoured water as we overanalyse the ingredients of La Croix and the lyrics of Kiss from a Rose.

- Nobody struggles with weight loss and Ben’s still fixated on the tooth he lost as a child.

- Nobody doesn’t understand how people fall asleep without meaning to.

- Nobody loses her jewellery at an arcade and is saved by a low paid superhero.

"I feel a little poke coming through, on you"

- We strategise the best way to fight a horse sized chicken.

- A ‘reality based’ Krav Maga dojo catches Ben’s attention.

- Marge Simpsons and The Berenstain Bears make us feel old.

- Nobody’s friend defends their house with a raging hard on.

- We revisit the concept of the best way to wear a towel after a shower.

- Nobody is having running etiquette woes.

- We weigh in on the AmITheAsshole party sub scenario.

- We provide some relationship advice to an eyebrow eater and nude photo retoucher.

"Just lift your eyes and follow the sun"

- We agree that a secluded Maldives honeymoon sounds like hell.

- Ben wonders if there’s a better way to wrap yourself in a towel after a shower.

- Nobody is flying too close to the sun by making and then immediately cancelling plans to hang out.

- In an attempt to hone her gaming abilities, Nobody completes the entirety of the game she was playing with Ben without him.

- Emoji audit: We revisit the white hair emoji.

- We discuss eating cold ravioli and microwave woes.

"Tell your boyfriend if he says he’s got beef, that I'm a vegetarian and I ain't fucking scared of him!"

- We reflect on our ‘hot years’.

- Nobody asks her partner if he could be in a throuple and whether he would still love her as a snail.

- Ben has a beef with Schnitz and their supposed life hacks.

- Nobody refuses to walk downstairs...any stairs…even made-up ones.

- Ben tells the tale of his high school math test heist.

- Emoji audit: The love hotel and white-haired people.

- Nobody is disappointed that Frozen’s big summer blowout isn’t as big as she remembered.

- Nobody eats chocolate out of Ben’s trash.

- We giggle at the influx of VAG and CLT license plates.

- Nobody memorises a license plate from a Canadian TV show in case her memory gets erased.

"Never was a cornflake girl."

- We debate which is the riskiest bedside table drawer to open.

- We ramble about corn on the cob holders, forcing yourself to like foods and the effects of caffeine.

- We discuss kitchen drawer preferences and finding stuff in other people’s houses.

- Ben observes the worst Subway sandwich order ever.

- Get rich quick schemes: The gym rowing challenge.

- Get rich quick schemes: Cryogenic freezing.

- Get rich quick schemes: Therapy and the club bathroom experience.

- Get rich quick schemes: The dishwasher cooling cycle.

"If you like piña coladas and gettin' caught in the rain..."

- We overanalyse the lyrics of Escape (The Piña Colada Song).

- Ben’s mum picks an unfortunate time to share her thoughts on the podcast.

- We ponder what part of the pig a pork shoulder is from.

- Ben’s AI reads A Christmas Carol and sings New York, New York.

- Nobody’s partner wants a Batmobile but gets an unfortunate substitute.

- Ben has yet another run in with the rollerblader and his gaydar may be better than we thought.

- Ben is ignoring the warning on his shepherd’s pie label.

- Emoji audit: The love heart emoji.

- Ben has an awkward interaction while being introduced to his new co-worker.

Buy Ben's sister's book at kirstenmoore.com.au

"Where did you come from? Where did you go?"

- We dissect the wisdom of King Solomon and Nobody recalls a story about a baby from reddit.

- Ben thinks it’s too easy to walk into hospitals.

- Nobody ends up in the hospital and has her UGG boots stolen.

- Ben recommends buying an apartment for the masculinity bonus.

- We revisit the ‘base system’ and propose an alternative ‘sex star’ system instead.

- Ben thinks the bunny ears shoe tying technique just needs an adult rebrand.

"It's about damn time!"

- We discuss the current trends in body hair and handjobs.

- Ben gets hit on by a gay rollerblader.

- Nobody recaps an AmITheAsshole about a guy professing his love on the eve of his crush’s wedding.

- We have a lot of awkward interactions with the people in our buildings.

- Ben needs streaming apps to back off after watching the Barry finale.

"The last plane out of Sydney’s almost gone."

- Ben is intrigued by Ol’ Dirty Bastard’s Wikipedia page.

- We discuss Sacagawea, Shaun Micallef and hosting late night talk shows.

- SMSiquette: We reflect on text message misunderstandings, starting fights over text and more.

- Nobody wonders how her teenage brother could relate to the lyrics of Cold Chisel.

- Ben’s sister wants to know whether he’d date someone with a tail.

- Ben puts a spotlight on the ‘person in steamy room’ emoji.

- We talk Fitbit sleep scores and Ben gets an Apple Watch.