Midnight Crisis

"Well, I guess this is growing up"

- We debate whether it’s best to eat cake with a fork or a spoon?

- Nobody upsets her neighbours by not putting her ironing board away properly.

- Ben’s dating app saga continues as he matches with a girl who thinks she recognises him from a wedding.

- Ben wants to know what the ‘bonuses’ are for when donating sperm.

- We discuss our actual age versus our mental age.

- We reminisce about the surge of mutant animal cartoons in the 90s and Nobody shares a moment with the wine delivery person.

- Nobody has left the cult of minty flavoured toothpaste.

- Nobody’s discusses her love/hate relationship with ghosts.

"She leaves me with jelly legs. Where did all my good luck get to?"

- Ben wants to scoop a few jellyfish out of the harbour, we dream of TVs popping out of the foot of the bed and discuss the traumatising Witcher fireplace.

- Ben wants to scoop a few jellyfish out of the harbour, we dream of TVs popping out of the foot of the bed and discuss the traumatising Witcher fireplace.

- We reflect on some lingering COVID dilemmas and the world’s strongest breath mint.

- Ben is confused by a late Saint Patrick's Day text message and matches with the hardest woman to talk to of all time.

- Nobody is traumatised by McDonalds, stairs and driving, while Ben recounts his ‘Dunston Checks In’ lifestyle.

- We discuss Ben’s stair climb dreams being crushed and Nobody’s half marathon VIP treatment.

- Nobody signs up for another eight weeks of tennis lessons and wants more things to be gamified as an adult.

- Nobody asks ‘Do you like Kyrptonite?’

"It's the fountain of youth, it’s the meaning of life. So hot, so sweet, so whet my appetite."

- We declare Ovalteenies to be overrated and overpriced.

- Nobody asks how old a glass of water you would drink from?

- Nobody wakes up to a rat on her bedside table.

- The Chinese are living underwater as they reach 100% ‘relative humidity’ during the week.

- Ben is now advocating for wedding shorts.

- Ben attends a wedding and the celebrant speaks highly of the grooms calm…demeanour.

- Ben catches an Uber home and is embarrassed to call it again.

- Ben reveals his ‘Roman Empire’ of the podcast.

- Ben finds himself in uncharted waters as he hits it off with two women on the dating apps.

- Ben reunites with a girl on a dating app and fails to impress her with his memory.

"I'm never gonna dance again, guilty feet have got no rhythm"

- Ben still doesn’t know which way to face in the elevator.

- Ben loves Survivor and Jonathan LaPaglia's dirty mouth.

- Ben buys some new pillows and Nobody’s regrets her Black Sails themed decor.

- Nobody is becoming a COVID conspiracy theorist.

- Nobody tests her husband on whether he would still love her if she was a snail?

- We provide some advice to a redditor with a pee bottle problem.

- A guy with a Star Wars obsessed girlfriend needs our help.

- We advise the girlfriend of a guy who doesn’t fart.

"I'd sent a text to the person the text was about."

- We divulge our respective mayonnaise dilemmas.

- Ben asks whether you’d accept the reward for returning a missing pet?

- Ben uses his escape room mindset to fix his overheated phone.

- Ben proposes a restrained use of the edit and delete instant messages feature.

- Nobody has paid for eight weeks of tennis lessons and is absolutely hating it.

"A little bit of Jessica here I am. A little bit of you makes me your man."

- We discover a spa without bubbles is just an awkward communal bath.

- We discuss Nobody’s surprising choice for ‘the ultimate man’.

- Ben gets compared to Wolverine and we devise a new dating app based tourism campaign.

- Ben buys dinner from someone who doesn’t understand the concept of ‘buy two get one free’ and Nobody outlays the girl math of buying tennis lessons.

- Nobody details her theory on men only coming in one size.

- We dive into the origins of Ben’s unfortunate nickname, Benis.

- Ben doesn’t understand why men and women’s shoe sizes are different.

- We dispense some advice to a redditor whose girlfriend says everyone’s name but his in bed.

- We advise a man who sent porn to his friends, family and co-workers.

- We help a guy who made his girlfriend have visions during sex.

"I'm talkin' racks on top of racks. And stacks on top of that."

- Ben raises an eyebrow at the weather app’s claims of reaching 98 percent humidity.

- The Gävle Goat lives to see the new year but not unscathed.

- We get an actual witch to weigh in on the female mage emoji.

- Ben’s grandpa finds an unorthodox way to dry his stowaway cat during his time in the navy.

- Ben asks whether you’d jaywalk in front of a seeing eye dog in training.

- Ben joins Bumble and provides a dating app update.

- We experiment with wearing our socks on the wrong feet.

- Nobody gets stared at by her Vietnamese masseurs while she undresses.

- Nobody’s friend discovers his butt is a huge hit in China.

"Everybody get dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb."

- Ben realises he needs to value his time more highly after going on massive hunt for an ATM.

- Nobody’s car gets a flat battery, which kicks off a massive altercation with a stubborn road crew worker.

- Ben gets ushered to his very important lunch meeting at Parliament House.

- Ben is saddened to learn that the local croissant ravioli store may not be opening after all. However a new business is taking in its place.

- We check in on the Gävle goat.

- Nobody ventures into the realm of running socks and misses her high school boyfriend’s amazing sock.

- Ben suggests an ice breaker for when you meet someone who’s writing a PhD.

"Fade into you. Strange you never knew."

- We debate whether it’s okay to jaywalk in front of children.

- Nobody gets stung on the butt by a bee, so we discuss bee’s vs humans and Candyman.

- We do our annual check in on the Gävle goat and plot the crimes we would commit if there were zero consequences.

- Ben wants to know if an invite on an unused credit means he’s getting a free ticket.

- The Squid Game: The Challenge contestants biggest struggle turns out to be chapped lips.

- Ben provides an update on his dating app journey.

- We do an emoji audit on the ‘female mage’ emoji.

- Nobody recounts the saga of getting a flight home from America.

"We've got the ocean, got the babes, got the sun, we've got the waves"

- Ben is deeply disappointed in his new mouthwash.

- Curt provides some listener feedback and Spotify Wrapped is out for another year.

- Nobody describes her partners ‘bathroom melange’ and she wants warning labels on body wash.

- Ben is unimpressed with Chemist Warehouse’s lucky dips.

- We attempt to decipher Ben’s mum’s latest text message about ‘Stollen Picnics’.

- Ben’s mum (somehow) misses the Melbourne Cup.

- Nobody discusses her trip to America and gives her thoughts on the Vegas sphere.

- We talk self-driving cars and robots in L.A.

- We discuss smoking, fresh air, gambling and hidden fees in Vegas.

- We debate which celebrities the Australian coins would be.