Midnight Crisis

"You might as well be farting, farting with a walkman on"

- Nobody farts on some joggers.

- Ben asks Nobody a hypothetical question about dead people, a year in the making.

- We play the ‘who feels more dead?’ game.

- We field an offer to have New Zealand’s preeminent porn star Layla Kelly, on the podcast.

- Ben orders a train ticket and instead gets showered with K-Pop merchandise.

- Ben makes his annual Activate Your Read Receipts Day PSA for 2025.

- We taste test and ponder the origins of OKF water.

"Knock-knock-knockin' on Heaven's door"

- Ben follows Drake’s lead and invites 25 Miss Universe contestants to the show.

- Nobody gets sick and tries to text God.

- Ben wonders how the ongoing Leongatha mushroom trial has affected beef Wellington consumption.

- We debate soup versus stew and the coolest foods to get caught eating.

- We consider which of Ben’s friends would be the most likely to eat him.

- Nobody recounts the time Agatha Christie went missing and Sir Arthur Conan Doyle was recruited to the case.

- We make plans for the true crime podcast in the event of Nobody’s murder.

- Nobody struggles to find a moniker for her mum’s dead partner.

- Ben is shocked by the people who ask how his dad died.

"You're a pink pony girl and you dance at the club"

- Nobody plots how she’d milk the podcast in the event of Ben’s death.

- We warn Mayor McCheese to keep an eye out for the Hamburglar.

- We get derailed by an emergency text about a vagina car.

- We revel in the miracle of our lost items being returned to us.

- Ben raises an eyebrow at the portrayal of a young Paul Giamatti in Black Mirror.

- We argue over who gets our AI generated commercial money in death.

- We establish The Pony’s for Puppies Foundation.

- Ben is starting to take issue with the portrayal of milk drinkers in the media.

- Nobody joins the Greg Davies unlikely sex symbol bandwagon.

"Will you still love me when I’m no longer young and beautiful?"

- Ben has questions about Yoplait’s new tagline: Australia’s number one family yogurt.

- Nobody doesn’t need facts in her period pads.

- Ben introduces a new segment: Orgy Tips.

- Nobody wants to determine the line between a normal attraction to a cartoon character and a fetish.

- Nobody’s friend makes an unusual discovery in the glove compartment of his rental car.

"And we'll fly and we'll fall and we'll burn..."

- Nobody doesn’t want to have to make a doctor’s appointment to be told she’s fine.

- We discuss the difficulties of recording a relaxation exercise with noisy roommates.

- Ben resonates with a familiar scene in The Monkey.

- Nobody experiences a Greg Davies fever dream while binging The Cleaner.

- Ben attends a Taskmaster taping and gets caught off guard in the gym shower.

- Ben discovers how pivotal the lint roller is in television.

- We contemplate how much attention to pay to the pre-flight safety demonstration.

"Switch it up like Nintendo"

- We make our triumphant return to podcasting.

- Nobody challenges Anthony LaPaglia to show Ben how fun he can be.

- Nobody struggles to say she isn't attracted to Chris Hemsworth.

- We enjoy the latest double entendres from Australian Survivor.

- We discuss censorship nonsense and dissect the lyrics of Sabrina Carpenter and Charli XCX.

- We’re forced to revisit the topic of toilet etiquette after Nobody has a weird bathroom encounter.

"You'll believe God is a woman"

- Ben doesn’t want people to think he’s crying at dumb movie moments.

- Nobody is holding space for Wicked.

- Ben faces a conundrum at a Thai massage parlour.

- Nobody reveals how she’d get around without legs.

- We pitch Michael Bay‘s next blockbuster: Tom Hardy Vs. The Kraken.

- We swap crazy Tom Hardy stories.

- Nobody’s car breaks down and a man with fat fingers shows up to fix it.

"It's no surprise to me, I am my own worst enemy"

- Ben doesn’t trust a waterproof label.

- We discuss the history of eating mummies and everything else on Earth.

- Ben has a massage parlour business proposal.

- Ben wants to know how long you’re obligated to keep a gift for.

- We discuss the egg in Ben’s bathroom.

"I'm only human, can't you see? I made, I made a mistake"

- Ben prides himself on his ability to find things in Bunnings.

- Ben needs someone to accompany him to Funfields water park, so he doesn’t look like a creep.

- Nobody doesn’t want to go out drinking when she has a perfectly good apartment.

- Nobody endures a perfect storm of food poisoning – aka. her Christmas nadir.

- We check in on the Gävle Goat for 2024 and learn about the IKEA goat.

- Nobody is impressed by Ben’s roommates six in one shower gel.

- Ben wants to know if he’s justified in killing an old woman at the movies.

"Teenage angst has paid off well, now I'm bored and old"

- Ben wants to know more about the science experiments that Nobody would perform during a time loop.

- Ben tackles the Hollywood trend of casting the hottest people in the world as ugly characters.

- Helen Mirren sheds a tear over the fact that Kurt Cobain never got to use GPS.

- Nobody argues that US politics boils down to guessing what the founding fathers would have thought about modern issues.

- Ben espouses his distaste for the question ‘Did you notice anything different?’

- Ben reveals why he always turns down the free rewards at the supermarket.

- Nobody thinks that farming sounds like a scam.

- Ben breaks down his Pokémon Go addiction and we revisit the idea of gamifying our work day.

- Ben catches his new iPhone’s ‘always on’ screen slacking off.