What if true understanding requires more than just listening to someone's words—what if it requires feeling their experience in your own body?

In this third episode of our Co-Regulation series, Steven and Adam explore the foundational meta skill of Attunement - the ability to move beyond merely being "seen and heard" and step into being deeply felt.

They break down the somatic definition of attunement, the essential balance of maintaining a "strong spine and open heart," and why attempting to attune to others without first being aligned within yourself leads directly to people-pleasing and burnout. The conversation uncovers the subtle blocks that get in the way of genuine connection—from the noisy inner critic to hidden personal agendas—while offering practical insights into how body-to-body resonance creates felt safety across every area of life.

---

SHOW HIGHLIGHTS
00:00:00 - Introduction: Welcome to video 3
00:00:54 - What Is Attunement?
00:02:52 - Moving Beyond "Seen and Heard" to "Felt"
00:05:40 - Disconnection, Integration, and Human Connection
00:08:46 - Alignment vs. Attunement
00:10:57 - The Somatic Posture: Strong Spine, Open Heart
00:12:09 - The Helper Trap and Self-Abandonment
00:16:03 - How We Somatically Absorb Others
00:17:42 - The Tuning Fork Metaphor
00:19:51 - Professional Attunement vs. Personal Life
00:25:18 - Inner Critics and Mind-Based Blocks
00:29:22 - How Personal Agendas Collapse Relational Space
00:34:40 - Interconnectedness, Parenting, and Biological Need
00:39:00 - Vertical vs. Horizontal Connection
00:43:26 - Speaking Beyond Words: Non-Verbal Communication
00:48:03 - How Relational Dynamics Reveal and Heal Wounds
00:49:24 - Closing Thoughts and Co-Regulation Course Details

Support the show

Have you ever wondered if the life you're living is truly your own?

In this episode of the Co-Regulation series, Adam and Stephen explore the meta skill of alignment and why it forms the foundation of every healthy relationship, including the one you have with yourself. They discuss how suppressed emotions, nervous system states, and inherited patterns can quietly shape our choices without us realizing it. 

You'll learn why clarity comes from the body, how emotional expression creates freedom, and why the same painful patterns keep showing up until they're fully resolved. This conversation offers practical insights to help you reconnect with yourself and begin living from a place of deeper authenticity.

Learn more:
https://somaticbreath.work/visit

SHOW HIGHLIGHTS

00:00 Welcome to Episode 2: Alignment

00:53 What Alignment Really Means

03:23 Living Behind the Mask

04:01 Why Clarity Comes From the Body

06:00 The Cost of Living Out of Alignment

09:16 Why You Shouldn't Always Trust Your Thoughts

10:08 Learning to Express Emotions Instead of Suppressing Them

13:13 Anger Through You vs Anger At Someone

17:18 How Suppressed Emotions Pull You Out of Alignment

18:34 Why Depression and Anger Are Often Connected

20:27 You'll Repeat It Until You Complete It

24:40 How to Find Your Own Internal Compass

27:10 Raising Children Without External Validation

29:12 Following Your Own Path Despite Criticism

32:07 When Living Authentically Challenges Others

33:45 Rebuilding Your Life From a Strong Foundation

37:49 The Delayed Effect of Alignment

40:30 Alignment Doesn't Operate on a Timeline

41:51 You're Under No Obligation to Stay the Same

43:34 Finding People Who Support Your Growth

45:00 Surface Alignment vs Deep Alignment

46:24 Building the Foundation for Every Relationship

48:23 Preview of the Next Meta Skill: Attunement

Support the show

What if the key to healing isn't learning how to regulate yourself alone, but learning how to regulate with others?

In this first episode of our Co-Regulation series, we explore why human connection is one of the most powerful forces for emotional well-being and personal growth.

We break down what co-regulation really means, why safety is created through connection, and introduce the three foundational meta skills: Alignment, Attunement, and Holding Space. Through personal stories, practical examples, and a look at the future of human connection in an AI-driven world, this conversation offers a new perspective on what it truly means to be human.

Learn more:
https://somaticbreath.work/visit

SHOW HIGHLIGHTS

00:00 - Welcome to the Co-Regulation Series

00:46 - What Is Co-Regulation?

03:30 - Healing Happens in Relationship

07:04 - The Three Brains and Human Connection

09:28 - Co-Regulation in Leadership and Parenting

11:50 - Lessons From Life With a Newborn

15:10 - Communication Beyond Words

19:15 - Why Safety Is the Presence of Connection

21:11 - Meta Skill #1: Alignment

27:29 - Boundaries Begin With Self-Connection

32:02 - Meta Skill #2: Attunement

35:53 - Feeling, Not Just Hearing, Another Person

40:03 - The Inner Critic and True Connection

43:07 - Strong Spine, Open Heart

45:18 - Meta Skill #3: Holding Space

50:27 - Welcoming Someone Into the Party

53:52 - The Future of Co-Regulation

56:04 - Human Skills in the Age of AI

01:01:50 - What's Coming Next in the Series

Support the show

Conflict is often seen as something to avoid, but what if it's actually an invitation to deeper connection? In this episode of Mind Body Mentor, Adam and Stephen explore the hidden costs of conflict avoidance, people-pleasing, and emotional suppression. They discuss why avoiding difficult conversations often leads to resentment, disconnection, and a loss of self-awareness.

The conversation dives into somatic awareness, boundaries, anger, family dynamics, and the importance of identifying and expressing what you truly want. If you've ever struggled to speak your truth or feared upsetting others, this episode offers practical insights for building healthier, more authentic relationships.

Learn more:
https://somaticbreath.work/visit

SHOW HIGHLIGHTS
00:00 Introduction & Why Conflict Avoidance Matters
01:05 People-Pleasing and Sacrificing Your Own Needs
03:19 Conflict as a Path to Deeper Connection
05:09 Stories, Assumptions, and Somatic Relating
06:17 Conflict Avoidance vs. Constant Conflict
08:15 The Fear of Anger and Emotional Expression
10:13 Family Dynamics and Unspoken Truths
11:12 Why Conflict Avoidance Frustrates Others
13:43 Bringing Somatic Awareness Into Relationships
14:46 Imperfection Tolerance and Healthy Relationships
16:13 Understanding Boundaries as Personal Responsibility
19:03 Different Conflict Styles and Attachment Patterns
22:36 Navigating Difficult Conversations with Family
23:12 Becoming Comfortable with Anger
25:08 Boundaries, Distance, and Relationship Change
26:36 Letting Go of the Need to Fix People
27:53 Somatic Relating and Conflict Resolution Tools
30:39 Separating Stories from Emotions
33:14 Conflict Avoidance and the Fear of Being Seen
33:56 The Connection Between Wants and Conflict
35:54 Reconnecting with Your Authentic Desires
38:08 Is Conflict Avoidance Really Self-Abandonment?
41:38 Big Wants vs. Small Daily Wants
44:24 Obligation, Resentment, and Emotional Burnout
47:30 The Human Experience, Ego, and Self-Expression
49:39 The Core Skills of Connection and Communication
50:51 Slowing Down in an Urgency-Driven Culture
52:05 Practical Experiments for Handling Conflict
53:46 Final Reflections and Upcoming Hiatus

Support the show

In this episode, we dive into the hidden addiction that so many of us struggle with - the addiction to productivity. I explore how constant doing, grinding, and chasing output can disconnect us from ourselves, our creativity, and what truly matters. 

We talk about anxiety, burnout, AI, creativity, nervous system regulation, and the deeper emotional needs hiding underneath our obsession with being productive. This conversation became a powerful reminder that sometimes the most productive thing we can do is slow down and reconnect with ourselves.

SHOW HIGHLIGHTS

00:00 - Intro & Mother’s Day Reflections
01:17 - The Addiction to Productivity
03:17 - What Are We Really Grinding For?
06:42 - Productivity, Dopamine & Feeling “Enough”
09:53 - Why Rest Feels Unproductive
12:05 - Where Creativity Actually Comes From
14:09 - The One Question That Changes Everything
15:11 - AI, Creativity & Human Connection
16:21 - Consumption vs Creation
20:26 - The Importance of the Pause
21:56 - Creating From Your Own Voice
24:07 - Fiction, Inspiration & Creativity
27:19 - Why Am I Doing This?
29:20 - Obligation vs Love
30:46 - Productivity & Anxiety
33:47 - Defining Productivity For Yourself
36:35 - Working Hard vs Meaningful Work
39:56 - Final Reflections & Closing Thoughts

Support the show

In this episode, we dive into the deeper truth behind what’s commonly called “compassion fatigue.” Is it really burnout… or is it something else entirely? Stephen explores the difference between genuine care and caretaking, how unresolved childhood patterns shape the way we show up for others, and why trying to fix people can actually collapse their ability to heal. Through personal stories, emotional insight, and conversations around nervous system regulation, obligation, resentment, and presence, this episode challenges the way we think about empathy, support, and self-sacrifice. If you’ve ever felt emotionally drained from helping others, this conversation will hit deeply.

SHOW HIGHLIGHTS
00:00 - Introduction to Compassion Fatigue
01:15 - Why Compassion Fatigue Is Often Misdiagnosed
02:47 - Caretaking vs Genuine Caring
05:31 - The Hidden Resentment Behind Caretaking
09:28 - Parentification & Caring for Parents
13:53 - Obligation vs Love
16:21 - Presence as the Greatest Gift
18:44 - Why Rest Doesn’t Fix Burnout
20:22 - Recognizing the Caretaking Pattern
22:08 - Adam’s Story About His Father
24:05 - Being Comfortable With Emotion
26:22 - Are You Helping Them or Yourself?
28:39 - Not Knowing Your Own Needs
30:00 - “Shoulds” vs Authentic Wants
33:05 - Reconnecting With Your True Self
35:20 - How Caring Can Soften You
36:18 - Ego, Overthinking & the Heart
39:14 - Nervous System Regulation & Intuition
41:00 - The Fix-It Mentality
44:24 - Why Fixers Never Truly Fix
46:03 - Advice for People Stuck in Caretaking Roles
48:38 - Final Thoughts & Closing Remarks

Support the show

This episode features a deep dive into the life of Steven, the founder of Somatic Breathwork, exploring his journey from a childhood shaped by family addiction to the creation of a global healing movement. Steven and Adam discuss the transition from "correcting" others to "connecting" with them, the biological intelligence of trauma, and why human "Soma IQ" is more vital than ever in an AI-driven world.

SHOW HIGHLIGHTS
02:50 - Introduction: Co-regulation in Person
03:53 - Defining the "Verb": Who is Steven?
05:43 - Childhood: Addiction, Movement, and Arizona
10:30 - The Academic Path: Addiction Psychology & Physical Therapy
13:48 - The Energetic Awakening: Lucid Dreaming & Astral Projection
16:50 - The Science of Energy: Craniosacral & Polarity Therapy
23:36 - The Crisis Point: Saving His Mother
28:28 - The "Diet Coke" Story: Correction vs. Connection
31:15 - Discovering Breathwork: A Holotropic Journey
38:09 - Designing a New Framework: Why Bodies Create Tension
44:01 - January 2021: The Birth of Somatic Breathwork
46:31 - Soma IQ vs. AI: Reclaiming Human Intelligence
52:21 - The Intelligent Response: Trauma and Abnormal Environments
56:38 - Meta-Skills and the Power of Being Witnessed
01:03:00 - The Four Primal Medicines
01:12:22 - Self-Discovery vs. Self-Improvement
01:17:21 - Final Reflections: Removing the Barriers

Support the show

In this episode, we explore what trauma really is and how it shapes our lives in ways we often don’t realize. Moving beyond the idea that trauma is simply what happens to us, this conversation dives into how trauma lives in the body as an unprocessed response. We unpack how past experiences influence present behavior, relationships, and decision-making, often operating beneath awareness. The discussion also touches on emotional expression, generational patterns, and the path toward healing through awareness, responsibility, and completing unresolved experiences.

SHOW HIGHLIGHTS

00:00 Introduction to Trauma
01:03 What Trauma Really Is
03:25 Nature vs Nurture Explained
05:16 Stress vs Trauma Difference
10:14 Trauma Writes Your Future
14:01 Generational Trauma & Responsibility
19:22 Rethinking Parents & Forgiveness
23:00 Healing Through Completion
25:17 Feeling Emotions Without “Why”
29:19 Transformational Anger Release
33:27 Emotions & Masculinity
37:11 Trauma as a Question for Growth
41:39 Courage, Change & Breaking Patterns
45:10 Growth Beyond Comfort Zone

Support the show

In this episode, Steven Jaggers and Adam Carbary explore the paradox of wanting to be seen while simultaneously fearing judgment and rejection. Steven breaks down the difference between truly belonging and simply fitting in, and how vulnerability is the gateway to real connection. Through personal insights and honest reflections, they unpack the cost of hiding parts of ourselves and the courage it takes to live in truth. This conversation offers a powerful perspective for anyone navigating authenticity, relationships, and self-expression.

SHOW HIGHLIGHTS
00:00 - Show Introduction
02:00 - The Fear of Being Seen
06:12 - The Paradox of Connection
10:16 - Fitting In vs Belonging
21:30 - Truth in Relationships
31:13 - Social Media & Authenticity
38:00 - Speaking Without Filtering
46:16 - Boundaries & Vulnerability
49:58 - Relationships Out of Alignment
53:57 - “You Don’t Have a Relationship”
56:08 - Final Reflections & Closing

🧘‍♀️ Learn more about Soma+IQ
↪ https://www.somaiqtraining.com

Support the show

In this episode, Steven Jaggers and Adam Carbary explore what it truly means to live somatically and why modern life has pulled people away from their body, emotions, and inner truth. Steven breaks down the tension between constantly trying to become something versus learning to simply be who you already are. Together, they unpack a powerful framework of the head, heart, and body, and how each shapes human experience, relationships, and personal growth. This conversation offers a grounded perspective for anyone feeling stuck in their mind or caught in the endless cycle of self-improvement.

SHOW HIGHLIGHTS
00:00 - Introduction to Somatics
03:30 - What “Living Wholeness” Means
07:20 - The Three Centers: Head, Heart, Body
11:00 - The Trap of Becoming
14:15 - Self-Development as Self-Attack
17:10 - Missing Life’s Simple Pleasures
22:00 - Opening the Heart
26:20 - The Parenting Perspective
31:20 - Becoming vs Being in Relationships
35:30 - The Role of a Practitioner
40:30 - Why the Heart is Central
45:00 - The Emotion You Avoid
48:40 - Speaking Your Truth
51:10 - The Truth is a Statement
52:05 - Final Reflections

🧘‍♀️ Learn more about Soma+IQ
↪ https://www.somaiqtraining.com

Support the show