Mindful Pause Podcast

Christmas is a strange time to me. I really love the idea of community and gathering together, but find too often I easily get caught up in the consumerism frenzy over creating memories.

In today's episode I share my personal struggle with my husband about expectations, disappointments and how to stay open to learn the lesson so we can heal and communicate through a place of healthy self respect, boundaries and love.

MANTRA: when you're triggered by someone, can you look deeper at you expectations of this person? What is underneath that layer of disappointment and what is it teaching you?

Our relationships are mirrors to heal parts of ourselves.

What are you learning about yourself?

Also, sign up for my newsletter to stay in the know. I have my new goddess mama birth course launching in January and Self Love Lab, my 4 week online program begins in February to help you live your life with more confidence, joy and clarity.

For many of us, 2020 has been one big fat disappointment, filled with loss, cancelations, and grief. But if we take this mantra and use it wisely, it will serve us.

I’m sure you’ve seen this from many teachers, “what you place your attention on expands.” This has been on my mind recently as I personally prepare for the new year and get ready for my virtual intention setting workshop on December 20th.

Take a moment to think about where you’re spending your energy? You thoughts? Your actions? Your worries?

Professionally, my business has gone in the toilet. If you personally know me or have taken my yoga classes, or events, you know, I’m no longer teaching in person. This has been a big blow to me because I love our community and really thrive connecting in person. It’s also been a big hit financially. All of my events and yoga retreats have been canceled except 2.

But If I only focused on that, I would be in big trouble. I would see this as a sign to quit, instead of pausing, getting still to hear the whisper of my soul of where to go next.

What you focus on expands.

Thankfully, one of my life goals is to have freedom and flexibility of time and place while still making an impact and connecting. I’ve been designing this life since the end of 2018 starting with creating this podcast and then launching Soul School earlier this year.

What if you could shift your perspective to see 2020 not as one big fat cancelation or loss, but as opportunities to pivot? To find clarity of what’s most important? What needs to be cleared out and composted?

A course in miracles: a miracle is a shift in perspective.

Another smaller example of this happened last month. I’ve tried to hike to colchuck lake twice – once when I was pregnant with hunter and again when she was a baby.

I’ve gained an extra 10 pounds from the quarantine, and never really got myself back in shape, and then I got pregnant. I’ve been hard on myself and disappointed that I didn’t get in healthier shape prior to this pregnancy. So, I haven’t moved my body or got to explore like I’ve wanted.

I’ve only hiked once this year, and it was a big one – I finally made it all the way to colchuck lake. It  took me 8.5 hours to hike 8 miles with 17 pee breaks in the woods, and I had to finish the last hour in the dark by myself, hobbling. Kind of sounds miserable, but I felt so empowered after.

The hike was very slow and painful. 

What you place your energy on expands. If I only placed it on how bad of shape I’m in or that I only got to hike once, this would expand my negative thinking.

I posted a photo of our hike to my instagram, and it reminds me that we can do hard things. We already have.

Even though 2020 brought much disappointment and loss, there’s still so much to be grateful for. 

Instead of placing your attention on what hasn’t or isn’t working, place it on an areas in your life you want to expand.

what are you appreciating?

What have you learned? Why is this important?

Where do you want to put your energy to match up with how you want to feel and what you desire?

You only have so much time and energy. Use it wisely. Use it to expand yourself rather than deplete yourself. you’re worth it.

If you want to dive deeper, join me on December 20th for a virtual workshop or soulful yoga, meditation and deeper inquiry to design your 2021 desired dreams and how you want to feel. This will be powerful and potent time for you to release what’s not serving you and call in and manifest your intentions for the new year. If you’re unable to make it, you’ll be able to receive a recording after. The investment is just $35. Reserve your spot at audreysuttonmills.com

Also, sign up for my newsletter to stay in the know. I have my new goddess mama birth course launching in January and Self Love Lab, my 4 week online program begins in February to help you live your life with more confidence, joy and clarity.

I took a whole day to self-reflect and journal for my intentions and desired dreams for 2021, and it was powerful.

This year has been a wild ride, filled with a lot of disappointment, loss, and pivoting. It’s probably unearthed a lot of emotions that you’ve had to work with too.

Today’s episode is about elevating your emotional state to obtain your desired dreams.

If you want a certain outcome, your emotional state must match that desired energy. They have to be at the same vibrational energy.

you'll learn how to have to have a clear intention + elevated emotional state so you can reach your desired outcome and how you want to feel.

When you have a clear intention along with an elevated emotional state, you’re in better alignment with receiving your higher desired outcome and feeling.

In preparation for my upcoming virtual workshop on Setting Your Intention based on your desired feelings for 2021, I invite you to contemplate these questions:

What do you want to feel?

What do you want to achieve/receive?

What state do you need to be in to match that vibration?

What you’re thinking and how you are emotionally will guide your actions and beliefs. To manifest your desired outcome, your energy needs to be at the same level as your desired outcome.

How do you get there?

Carve out some sacred time to get quiet and tune in. Especially right now, with the holidays and end of the year, life can be really busy. When you’re busy and stressed, these are not in alignment with higher vibrational energy of clarity, joy, presence, abundance and gratitude.

The more you have quiet time, the better you get to know your mind and patterns, befriend yourself and attune to your soft powerful wisdom within.

You have all the answers within you.

Get clear on what you want. Reflect on your energy. Is it at the same vibrational energy of what you desire? If not, craft a list of small and large action items to get there. Not just goals or tasks, but ways for you to get quiet, feel at ease and experience more joy.

Joy is our birthright. Tap into those things that bring you more softness and clarity.

If you want to dive deeper, join me on December 20th for a virtual workshop or soulful yoga, meditation and deeper inquiry to design your 2021 desired dreams and how you want to feel. This will be powerful and potent time for you to release what’s not serving you and call in and manifest your intentions for the new year. If you’re unable to make it, you’ll be able to receive a recording after. The investment is just $35. Reserve your spot at audreysuttonmills.com

Also, sign up for my newsletter to stay in the know. I have my new goddess mama birth course launching in January and Self Love Lab, my 4 week online program begins in February to help you live your life with more confidence, joy and clarity.

Have you ever been so far into procrastination that the task at hand feels overwhelming and unattainable?

Especially during the year, our political, environmental and societal climates have been unsettling and scary and have consumed our attention. We’ve experienced a lot of anxiety and uncertainty which makes it hard to stay inspired. We may be working from home, and it’s hard to stay motivated when the fridge and bed are a few steps away from your workspace. We have a lot more on our plates. Life gets in the way of being consistent with our habits we want to build and goals we want to accomplish.

Instead of focusing on that story of how far behind you are and how much you have to do, you can reframe it by taking it one step at a time.

Take your goal in small baby steps and do it consistently. Little by little

Instead of doing what you normally do to avoided discomfort, and letting the task pile up or waiting for motivation, harness inspiration by taking intentional action now, and do it consistently.

This can be applied for any habit you want to cultivate or complete any task, whether it's paying your bills, and not letting the bills stack up until the last minute, staying on top of your finances and doing your budget weekly or monthly instead of at the end of the year, feeling more energized, so you commit to a habit of going to bed 15 minutes early or drinking an extra glass of water each day.

This perspective of taking it in a small, easy and doable steps can be used for big goals like starting a business, creating a course, getting a degree, or changing careers.

Take your goal one easy step at a time.

So this week's mantra is take it one step at a time, one very doable step at a time, and do it consistently.

I’d love to hear what your goal is that you want to create. Let me know how this has helped motivate and inspire you on my blog or on instagram

Ready to set your intention and goals for the new year? Join me for a special virtual 90-minute workshop, Sunday December 20th for SACRED SOUL INTENTION,  soulful slow yoga, guided meditation and inward inquiry to set your 2021 intentions and gain clarity about your aspirations and vision for the upcoming year. RSVP for just $35 at: audreysuttonmills.com/events

If you enjoyed this podcast, please subscribe and rate it, take a screen shot and share it on instagram tag me @blissfulaudrey. By doing this, you can  help others find me and help me continue to serve you! Thanks for being here!

I hosted my yoga retreat in Napa a few weeks ago, and one of the guests asked us what our low and high for the weekend was. I thought this was a great question to ask each day or week, so I’m inviting you to ask it for yourself this week too to help shift your perspective to gratitude and appreciation.

Although most of my yoga business, in person teaching and all of my yoga events and workshops have been canceled this year,  I feel a deep sense of gratitude for having such great people at all of my events, and especially grateful for being able to host this retreat. I’ve always had wonderful people on my retreats, and each one is a unique and special experience, and it’s honestly because of the people.

What can you do for yourself to feel connected again?

And if you love the question of what’s you low and high point, ask yourself that tonight to help put things into perspective.

2020 may be one of the lowest of low years, but you can still find your high. And that high can still be pretty darn good.

Share with me what’s yours? I’d truly love to know!

Also, if you’re feeling a calling to go inward and set your intention for the new year, please join me for a special virtual 90-minute workshop, SACRED SOUL INTENTION Sunday December 20th for a 90-minute virtual workshop of soulful slow yoga, guided meditation and inward inquiry to set your 2021 intentions and gain clarity about your aspirations and vision for the upcoming year. We’ll come together the day before Winter Solstice, the darkest time of the year, to turn inward and reflect what needs to die and be released in order to birth our dreams, transform in to who you want to be and embody how you want to feel. This is a potent time for your evolution. Ready to join me? The workshop is just $35. RSVP on my website: audreysuttonmills.com/events

If you enjoyed this podcast, please subscribe and rate it, take a screen shot and share it on instagram tag me @blissfulaudrey. By doing this, you can  help others find me and help me continue to serve you! Thank you for being here.

See you next week on Soul School with Audrey. Remember you are enough and you matter!

If you’ve been yearning to hibernate and go inward and maybe even feeling a little more hopeful, the next 6 weeks through Winter Solstice is a potent time for deep self-reflection, inner inquiry and an opportunity for transformation.

There are many events that have been fostering a sense of hope and transformation. First, the new moon in Scorpio was this past Saturday November 14th as well as Diwali and Kali Puja, two major festivals in India. It’s also interesting that this was very close to the election in America.

Diwali symbolizes the spiritual "victory of light over darkness, good over evil, and knowledge over ignorance" lasting for five days from the 13th day of the dark half of the lunar month to the second day of the light half of the next lunar month.

While the rest of India worships Goddess Lakshmi, the goddess of wealth, beauty and abundance during Diwali, eastern India worships the Goddess Kali, the Goddess of death. Although this may sound a little alarming and gloomy, Kali represents mystery, the Goddess Mother, rebirth, female empowerment and the duality of our human nature.

Talking about death may sound morbid, but think about mother earth and nature. It is in death, that there is life. Deciduous trees give birth to new plants and organisms. There is always a natural cycle and flow to Life.

Death is essential for growth and transformation. We must release limiting beliefs, destructive habits and old stories in order to transform and evolve.

Although Lakshmi represent abundance and light, Kali, the  goddess of death helps us accept our darkness and duality. We must accept both our light and dark qualities in order to stand in our wholeness.

In the darkness is where things grow.

By embracing our darkness, our duality, we can discover our light.

The next 5 weeks are the darkest time of the year through December 21st, winter solstice, the darkest day of the year with the fewest hours of daylight. After the winter solstice, days start becoming longer and nights shorter as spring approaches.

I invite you to take the rest of this year to go inward and reflect on what you want to release in order to transform.

What needs to die for you to birth your desired dreams?

What stories needs to shed in order to transform?

Share with me your intention for this month and what you are shedding here on the blog or on instagram.

Also, if you would like to go deeper, please join me for a special virtual 90-minute workshop, SACRED SOUL INTENTION Sunday December 20th, a 90-minute virtual workshop of soulful slow yoga, guided meditation and inward inquiry to set your 2021 intentions and gain clarity about your aspirations and vision for the upcoming year. We’ll come together the day before Winter Solstice, the darkest time of the year, to turn inward and reflect what needs to die and be released in order to birth our dreams, transform in to who you want to be and embody how you want to feel. This is a potent time for your evolution. Are you ready to join me? RSVP on my website: audreysuttonmills.com/events

If you enjoyed this podcast, please subscribe and rate it, take a screen shot and share it on instagram tag me @blissfulaudrey. By doing this, you can  help others find me and help me continue to serve you!

Thank you for being here.

A Few weeks ago, I shared with you how my itty-bitty-shitty-committee was keeping me imprisoned in comparison and scarcity. That’s what happens when your mind is busy and distracted. Your vision is fuzzy and you lack clarity. Y’all know I love Oprah, and I always remind myself what she says, “stay in your own lane.”

When I was in that comparison frenzy, I lost track of who I was, my talents, what I’m capable of and why I’m doing this. I looked outside myself and felt empty inside. I wasn’t doing enough, I could never be enough. I’m a fucking loser. I know, my inner saboteur is a biyatch, and takes me to low places.

I was in such scarcity mode, that anything that taught me how I could do better, be better, make more money, have more influence was had my attention.

I almost signed up for a $2,000 course from a woman I don’t really follow on how to make $10,000 a month to market my business online and get more clients. I hate sharing this with you – it’s really vulnerable for me and makes me feel like a chump. But this is where I was at. There was so much FOMO, I felt lost and desperate and I hated myself for questioning, doubting and second guessing myself.

What’s interesting is that I had pulled the same angel card three days in a row. It read: LISTEN. Be in a receptive state to hear our guidance.

It was only on the third day, that card sunk in. I had been focusing on the wrong thing. I was stressed, confused, busy and distracted, and lost sight of who I was and what I truly wanted. Yes, more clients and money are a great outcomes, but being confident in who I am and excited in what I get to teach and share always creates a solid community of trust. And that’s what I seek!

Interestingly enough, it was a Sunday and the last day to sign up for this online course. I pulled that LISTEN card and meditated. I heard my dad’s voice, “stop the comparison and the hustle. You don’t have to harvest all the time. Life isn’t meant to be stressed and bogged down. Live with joy. Joy is your birthright.”

I truly believe we are exactly where we are supposed to be, experiencing exactly what we’re supposed to be experiencing. Our only task is to remain present and open to receive it.

The angel card was reminding me that I wasn’t present. I was distracted. I didn’t need to harvest, hustle, or learn about click funnels. I needed to be in a receptive state. I needed to go inward. I needed to realign with what brings me joy.

The moment I decided this $2k program was not right for me at this time, honestly, it was a miracle how things expanded so quickly. That morning, I had my first call with the book year program (a group of 25 women writing our books and supporting each other monthly). In our first call, I surprised myself and broke down crying, while sharing the story of my book. For the first time this year, I felt completed held and supported by 25 strangers.

The next day we had our first call with my Self Love Lab group, my online course to teach you tools to cultivate more self-love. I loved connecting with each woman to support them in shifting their limiting beliefs to serve them in positive ways. They felt held and supported, and I knew in my bones this is where I’m supposed to be.

By pausing, listening and being in a receptive state, I realized I didn’t have to do more. I needed to go deeper.

I’m on the right track with my courses. They’re helping people tremendously care and love themselves. And I need to give to myself for the next 6 months to fill up my own cup, share my story and soul tools in my book and nurture myself and baby.

This finally felt right. No pushing. No stress. No striving. Just listening. Staying open and receptive.

My invitation to you this week for our Mantra Monday is to LISTEN and be in a receptive state, so you can hear the truth and the path.

The universe is conspiring to give you all you ask. If you knew exactly what magic it has in store for you, you wouldn’t mind waiting. Trust, have faith, stay open and get ready to receive.

Self Love Lab online course with the live group coaching calls, the program is now available to purchase on my website audreysuttonmills.com Also stay tuned for my yearly signature course SOUL SCHOOL starting next year!

My died just 2 years ago, only two weeks before my daughter, Hunter was born.

He always reminded me of my own power and said, “you get to write your story.”

Having him pass away so young was not part of my story that I would’ve written.

Experiencing a miscarriage, cancer scare, 42 weeks of 28 blood draws and the passing of my favorite person all in 2 years, I’ve realized we don’t have control of all of the details or the outcome.

It was bittersweet to experience Life and Death simultaneously. Holding gratitude and sorrow, delight and anger, fullness and hopelessness in both hands and heart.

Through these years, I’ve learned we don’t actually get to write all of our story, but it helps when we trust Life’s plans, surrender to its timing and baring of its gifts. 

Never easy, but always worth it.

My dad’s favorite name was Hunter. He divinely died on the Hunter moon.

There were so many simple and spiritual moments around his death and Hunter’s birth:

On the morning I found out he died, google maps rerouted us 4 times off I-5, out of rush hour traffic onto a 2-lane country road overlooking vineyards and a beautiful sunrise. On my worst day, I felt a moment of peace. Never being on that road before, I asked where we were, and my mom said this was your dad’s favorite way to drive to your home. Magic.

I remember after 2-weeks of non-stop crying, chest aching, eyes crimson and swollen, we said our final goodbye on a Friday afternoon, and I held his cold hand and cried all over him. The next day my water broke (2 weeks early), as if my dad was holding me, urging me to stop suffering, giving us a gift of new life. Magic.

The Eagle who swooped in front of my window while I was writing about him and dropped a feather to the ground. This happened twice! The dragonflies who always show up when I think about him. More Magic.

Maybe they’re just coincidences. I’d rather believe they are divine signs, little moments of magic reminding us to stay awake to Life.

I believe there is magic, even in dark times. We just have to be present to it.

What are some signs that are showing up for you?

Before we had Hunter, I did fertility testing, because I’m considered geriatric pregnancy (wrong, just wrong!) and the doctor said I would be lucky to have just one child.

What a pleasant surprise to be pregnant again, this time with a baby boy! 

My heart breaks knowing my dad won’t be able to be with another grandchild. When sorrow begins to drag me down, I remember to stay open and look for the gifts in the situation. Trust my journey.

Our baby is due April 1st, 2021 . . . my parent’s anniversary. 

Life whispers to you and gives you gifts of support.

You just have to stay awake to hear it and be patient enough to let Life unfold it’s divine plan for you.

I guess my dad was right. You do get to write your story. Or at least how you show up in your story.

Love you dad.  Thank you for continuing to be my biggest teacher.

I’m seeing and receiving all of the little signs and the magic of Life. Are you?

Wishing you lots of little signs of Joy this week.

Stay open and let Life’s divine magic unfold for you in it’s own divine timing. Trust that everything you’re experiencing is exactly where you’re meant to be.

You know I always love hearing from you! Can you do me a favor? If this podcast resonated with you, take a screenshot and share on Instagram and tag me. Also, if you haven’t already, please leave a review and subscribe so others can find me too.

If you weren’t able to sign up the Self Love Lab online course with the live group coaching calls, the program is now available to purchase on my website audreysuttonmills.com Also stay tuned for my yearly signature course SOUL SCHOOL starting next year!

You guys, this is a very vulnerable share, and I almost wasn’t going to share, but hey you know me. I share my scars, openly in hopes they can help you heal your wounds.

For the past couple of months, my itty-bitty-shitty-committee has kept me stuck in a comparison spiral. Thank goodness I’ve spent a decade learning the tools to pull myself out of it, but it’s definitely been exhausting work to continually pull myself out of the darkness only to drop back in again. I guess this is our human work.

If you’ve been stuck in comparison and judgment too, you’re not alone. We’re holding a lot. So much has changed. And is still changing. When things are uncertain, our inner critic gets loud.

Everything I worked so hard to build over these last 8 years: my yoga business, soul workshops and international yoga retreats are gone. I think one of my talents is that I’m really good one-on-one. In person connection is my jam, but with COVID that no longer is an option for me.

Because of my pregnancy in 2018, I decided to begin to move to the online space, so I create my SOUL SCHOOL podcast. All of 2019 I worked hard to create and produce SOUL SCHOOL my signature online course that was schedule to launch in April 2020, coincidently, right at the beginning of quarantine. We had 51 students, which blew away my business goals. More importantly, on a heart-level, SOUL SCHOOL was indispensable to my clients (and myself) to navigate through rocky times together. I was on cloud 9! I felt in alignment with living my purpose and felt magnetic to the people I was helping.

By summer though, it seemed like every service and coaching professional was also now online. Great news for the collective as a whole to have more access to coaches, teachers, instructors. But for me and my small business, I felt like a tiny speck in the grand ocean, a small fish unseen and drowning amongst the bigger fish. Watching others thrive while my online presence was at a standstill crushed my spirit and my inner saboteur began to second-guess, doubt, judge, compare and question if I was meant to teach in this space at all.

My negative dialogue kept me in a cycle of insecurities that I wasn’t good enough, I wasn’t doing enough and I’ll never be enough. Really, I should just quit. And I almost did.

Here’s the truth. It is perfectly normal to shift between confidence and doubt. We all have an itty-bitty shitty committee. You’re not alone. Even Oprah has one, y’all! You’ll never escape your inner sabateur or get rid of it. The difference is the people we admire have the tools to pull themselves out of the comparison rut quicker and come back to their truth faster.

Today on the podcast I’ll share 4 steps that I use with my clients and myself to help pull you out of a comparison rut and realign your energy to be magnetic to what you desire:

#1. Notice the driftwood and say thank you

It is totally normal to ebb and flow between states of abundance and scarcity, trust and insecurity, flow and resistance. If you’re in a place of lack right now, pause and notice what you want and who you look up to who has it. Esther Hicks, law of attraction teacher explains that “driftwood” is the life and things others have that you desire. Instead of letting it dragging you down in comparison and judgment, say thank you to the Universe for bringing “driftwood,” these things and people, into your view as inspiration for what you desire and how you want to feel. They are clues you’re on the right path and you can have it too.

#2. List 3 things that are working in your life to shift you into a state of abundance and gratitude.

Why is this important? Sometimes we’re so far down that comparison spiral, it’s hard to get out of it. We retell ourselves the same belittling story. But here’s the thing: gratitude and resentment can’t coexist. Take some time and appreciate what is working in your life: your career, your health, your mental health, how you’re taking care of yourself, what you’re learning, your relationships, how you’re growing. Be specific. Really, take some time. it doesn’t have to be grand. What is working for you? Receive it.

#3. Find inspiration from those who have what you desire

Instead of comparison, get curious about their habits and mindset to inspire your next actions. What is this person you admire doing to attract what you dream of? What is their mindset? What are their habits? What are they not doing? Each time you begin to compare, pause and ask what can I learn from this person?

Also, do it in a fun and joyful way that doesn’t lead you to feel heavy or bogged down. We take on too much pressure and stress. Honestly, I believe Life with a capital L truly wants us to live with Joy as much as possible. Remember, progress is messy, never linear. Don’t view this driftwood as competition or something that’s unattainable, but as mentors to help guide you to what you desire and how you want to feel.

#4. Align with your desired feeling to be magnetic to what you desire.

So how to do you attract the life and things you desire? It all starts internally. Is your internal state matching your desired external state? Be honest.

If you want more money, for example, but you keep telling yourself you’re broke, you’re constantly worrying about bills, you’re jealous of other people’s lifestyle - guess what? you’re the opposite energy with what you desire – you’re in a total lack mode. How can you attract abundance when your thoughts, beliefs and actions are in scarcity. Feeling envious and resentful are not bad emotions. They’re just emotions. What you do with them is what matters. Do they weigh you down or do they lift you up and inspire you to take action?

Instead of focusing on what you don’t want, notice the driftwood to shift your mindset to a more abundant state to attract what you desire. Start by saying thank you for bringing in these people to show me what is possible, then list off 3 things you’re grateful for and finally what is one thing you can do now that will create a habit or skill to help bring you into more of an abundant state?

These 4 steps work for anything in your life that is deficient. If you want to find love, but your inner dialogue is that you’re unlovable, there are no good men out there, dating is too difficult, your work starts here with yourself and strengthening your relationship with yourself. If you want a promotion or a better career, but your destructive belief is that you’re not worthy of it, find inspiration from colleagues who did what you aspire to do. Notice if you keep staying, “One day I’ll”… instead shift this to make a plan.

Positive momentum attracts positive momentum.

Notice your internal conversations, your limited beliefs and destructive patterns, without getting caught up in the commentary. Are they in alignment with what you want? If not, notice the driftwood and say thank you Universe for these signs that I can have it too. Then align your energy with what you desire.

In my case, hanging out with Critical Collin and Jealous Jan kept me stuck in comparison and self-judgment. To shift this state, I said thank you for gifting me successful friends who can help mentor and inspire me.

Then I thought of 3 things that are working in my business. I’ve shared with you in episode 93 “4 ways to help when you want to quit” that I keep a virtual gratitude folder, so I went back to the texts, emails and DMs from clients saying how much my words and programs have changed their lives - women who are now happily married and in loving relationships because they learned to be in a better relationship with themselves, women who felt supported by me through tough times like miscarriages and career transitions, clients who learned soul tools from my online courses that radically changed their inner dialogue to help love and believe in themselves. Reading my clients words of appreciation immediately silences the IBSC.

What I know for sure, is that I’m supposed to be here for you, teaching you tools to quiet your itty-bitty-shitty-committee and return you to love. No more second guessing. No more comparison.

Finally, I asked myself a deeper question: What do I really want to feel and why am I really doing this? Of course, more followers and recognition would be a great bonus. I think a universal need is that we all want to feel significant. My aspiration is that I want to feel that what I teach and do makes a difference.

When I left my company where I made $300-400K a year to teach yoga, my motto was I teach to serve, not to been seen. I’ve always been doing what I do to serve you. Once I remembered this, everything else, the path and the plan fell into place, and I returned to being in alignment with my values, which brought me right into an abundant state of trust.

There doesn’t need to be gimmicks, striving or strategies. I trust when I just live this truth that is so strong in me, I will be magnetic to the people who need what I have to offer.

The same goes for you friend.

I’m not sure where you’re at in your life or business, but I hope these 4 tools help you on a personal and business level to align back to who you are at your core and share from your place of truth. Comparison can get the better of us sometimes. It can do some nasty things to us, get in our head, stand in our way of our dreams, turn us into something we’re not and make us feel like crap. Unfortunately, it never goes away. But with these tools, you’ll be able to pull yourself out of that comparison pit faster to come back to your truth.

So this Monday’s invitation is to explore what you desire, notice the driftwood this week and say thank you Universe for showing me I can have it too. If your energy is out of alignment with what you desire, your work is to shift your thoughts, inner dialogue and behavior to align with how you want to feel and what you desire.

If you’re having trouble, reach out to me. I’m here for you!

To recap the 4 steps to pull you out of a comparison rut and realign you to be magnetic to what you desire:

1. Notice the driftwood and say thank you
2. Acknowledge 3 things that are working in your life to shift into abundance
3. Take inspiration and learn from those who have what you desire
4. Align with your desired feeling to be magnetic to what you desire.

Imagine if you invested the same amount of energy you use to doubt yourself to believe in yourself, who you are and what you’re capable of!

Also, I have a lot of freebies on my website: audreysuttonmills.com and my 52-week self love journal is one of my favorite things I’ve created for you. Weekly journal to reflect on what’s working in your week, and something tangible you can look back on to see how far you’ve grown. Download it for free now.

Thank you for being here. If this helps you in any way, please rate and subscribe so others can find this podcast. Take a screen shot that you’re listening to this episode and share on instagram @blissfulaudrey what your dreams and desires are. I love hearing from you. What’s your driftwood? What are your dreams and desires? What are you struggling with? You’ve got this!

I posted an instagram post a month ago of 2 photos in my bikini 5 years apart and wrote that I cringed looking at the photos and seeing how far I’ve let myself go, along with the main message of loving yourself. 

There were a lot of comments, but I received a negative DM from a woman who wrote: “you should be ashamed of your last post. you’re the problem for women. You’re degrading yourself and fishing for compliments.”

It takes me a while to thoughtful process things and I want to share my response to her here with you because if I offended you in any way from my post, hopefully this will shed some light here:

She’s right. As women, in general, we do have a problem with belittling ourselves.

Have you ever overheard or been in a group of women having lunch, and one woman starts with “Oh, I’ve gained so much weight.” And then another chimes in, “you’ve gained weight? I’ve gained more weight than you have. I look awful” And then it becomes a competition of who is the fattest and saddest.

Sadly, I’ve been there but it’s not healthy for us to degrade ourselves, because what that does is it gives others permission to do the same. If I think you look good, but you’re judging yourself, then geez, what do I look like? And there goes our itty-bitty-shitty-committee running a rant of how we’re not good enough.

Ladies, we need to stop the group competition for who can criticize themselves the most, because, honestly, it’s lame and you’re so much stronger and better than that.

In a world where we’re taught that thinner is better and being younger is more desirable, it’s hard for us to push through that noise and be stronger than societies expectations. My intention for my post was to inspire women to love themselves, not degrade themselves.

My intention for this post was to let everyone know that it’s okay and completely normal to have any and all feelings.

Feelings come and go, but it’s how we choose to respond to them that matters.

In the past I would’ve been hooked by my inner critic who would obsess about the weight gain. Now, I can look at the photos of how my body has changed, and even though I can still cringe and feel disappointment, I can also then give myself grace.

Because giving ourself grace can be very powerful in shifting how we treat ourselves.

Giving myself grace looks like, instead of looping a negative body story, I can realize that in the past 5 years, I’ve experienced a lot of change: I moved across the country, had to create a life and new career in a new city, got married, had a miscarriage, 2 D&C operations, had a cancer scare where I got my blood drawn every other week for 10 months, then had the darkest moment in my life with my dad passing, where I didn’t know if I wanted to live anymore, and two weeks later, gave birth to our beautiful daughter, and to top it off, we’re all dealing with this pandemic and the grief over loved ones, our health, our businesses, our dreams, our freedom and what we used to count on as stable outlets. Change can trigger a sense of loss. When we’re feeling grief, this is a time for grace and compassion, not judgement and criticism.

So I’ve done the work to be okay with whatever feeling arises, get quiet to be with myself to drop beneath the noise to touch my truth.

And that’s the intention of that post: Be with your feelings, know that anything you feel is okay and normal. And then give yourself a ton of grace and lots of kindness.

As we shift into a new season, things are still shaky and uncertain. We’ve found a new normal, but still can’t see the end outcome, so we’re exhausted fatigued.

Being gentle with yourself right now is a non-negotiable.

Many of us did gain weight, or didn’t live up to our promises of working out every day or journaling every day during quarantine or maybe you didn’t finish the goals you wanted. Grace. Lots of grace my friend! You have a lot on your plate so don’t let the itty-bitty-shitty-committee drag you into a shame spiral. Breathe, be with yourself and extend yourself kindness.

As we transition into fall, where personally, for me it’s a time to cozy up and go inward, I invite you to cozy up to yourself and go inward to generously listen to yourself so you can be with yourself and honor yourself through kindness, humor and compassion to touch your innate warmth, love and strength.

I want to hear from you – what do you think about this discussion? What way do you belittle yourself and what ways can you give yourself grace right now? Also, please post only positive comments that are helpful to us all. We don’t need to judge this woman or any other woman for that matter. We’re all showing up where we are, doing the best we can. Let’s rise up to meet each other and lift each other up.

At the beginning of this pandemic, I said we’re in this together, and we still are. We’ve risen through uncertainty and are still here, and now it’s time to be kinder towards ourselves so we can be kinder towards each other. Together.

If you want to join me, I’ve created the #selfkindnessproject which starts on sept 21st, a free 4-day challenge with self-inquiry prompts and easy mindfulness tools to be kinder and more loving to yourself. This challenge kicks off my self love lab which starts oct 5th. Hope you can join me for any or all of it. Link is in my bio if you’re interested.  www.audreysuttonmills.com