Miserable Retail Slave

Witnessing a retail incident/ The Miserable Retail Meal/ Freestyle Coke machines/ A drive-thru fit/ So hangry/ Throwing the entire restaurant into chaos/ Why are owls the wise birds?/ The lazy predator/ a new national bird and a new statue of liberty/ Come wallow in my tragic kingdom/ balloons draped over the power line = the clown house/ Tommy's going to Indy/ Tommy is anxious/ Andrew Luck lives in the catacombs/ Tommy can't physically break a leg/ God's bubble wrap/ Tommy's encounter with his guardian angel/ a titan of intellect/ Just a couple of hipsters in love/ Randy's guardian angel/ written down goals/ a mystery Facebook account/ An "in-tune guy"/ The return of a segment that no one cares about/ The Miley Fancast/ CYRUS/ Seeing Adam Sandler and David Spade/ Tommy's Adam Sandler impression/ Making copies/ Tommy's Sandler jokes/ A study of human interaction in a retail environment/ A satellite dame/ THAT PAULA/ "I don't know how old people are anymore"/ Male multi-tasking/ The best possible responsible/These women/ These Facebooks status/ updates on that online dating message/ Randy's disgusting face/ the hate starts at a young age/ Randy encounters a teenager/ The Miserable Hotline/ Not Stone Cold Steve Austin calls in/ The Return of Chris Vickers/ Chris Vickers Goes to Hell/ The first call from hell/ Chris Vickers is Tommy's grim reaper/ P*ss on It/ hobosexuals/ scout demons/ "I thought what we had was real"/ Missed Connections/Putting in my eBay bid, no reserve, girl/ Tommy buys a slim fit shirt/ Walker sweaters/ THE SEMI RAN A RED LIGHT into your heart/ Maroonish/ Get a little Vin in your life/ Slipknot birds/ That Slipknot show

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Follow us on Instagram: @miserableretailslavepodcast Follow Randy on Twitter: @mretailslave Intro: "Hard Times" by Dan "D-Boy" Amboy Check out his music: https://soundcloud.com/dan-amboy

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(Episode 162)

More Tales of Barber Bill/ Tommy's emo haircut/ being one the guys in the barber shop/ Rags Wilson, "Edsel's Last Plow"/ Telepathic barbers would make the best hitman/ Hitman barber skills/ Cut the Soul Hair/ Tommy would make a good hitman/ The Glorious Singing Mafia/ Tommy performs Dean Martin/ Win the human race by being born later/ Barber Bill's Al Capone connection/ The Equinox Bros./ The Bad News Bears of the vehicle crowd/ The world has been strange lately/ Tommy gets in a grocery store fight/ "I A Verbal Street Fighter"/ The Elvis Impersonator/ Everyone should wear pull-away pants to the bar/ sculpted out of Tootsie Rolls/ Fat Free Cheese/ Bar Nostalgia/ Dyed Cigarette Smoke Blond/ Peanut debates/ Tommy buys a pop/ "She Blows me the weirdest sigh"/ A retail confrontation/ Tommy calls people out now/ The Reality Check Brothers/ White Holes/ A Golden Corral Celebrity/ social media and parents/ Randy's Career Fair: Faceplant/ I "oof" a lot/ Give thanks to Bob Sager for YouTube/ Jump/ Seeing people in concert/ Updates on Danger Zone/ "My shot is shut"/ Modern Day Medusas/ Randy is a Train song/ Hey, Soul Sister. Hey/ Updates on Red?/ Nascar/ Bikers are fun people/ A unit of measurement/ The Lloyd Dobler of 2017…I give them my heart, they give me a keyboard/ A new message sent

Visit the Patreon page at Patreon.com/MiserableRetailSlave and get access to exclusive content!

Call The Miserable Hotline!!! (810) 328-3826

"LIKE" us on the Facebook, would ya? Leave us a 5-star, positive iTunes review...that would be so kind of you!

Follow us on Instagram: @miserableretailslavepodcast Follow Randy on Twitter: @mretailslave Intro: "Hard Times" by Dan "D-Boy" Amboy Check out his music: https://soundcloud.com/dan-amboy

You should most definitely subscribe to the show if you dig what you hear:

If you like that iTunes, point your Internet right here: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/miserable-retail-slave/id527775275?mt=2

Stitcher: http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/miserable-retail-slave

If you enjoy grabbing your pods using something else: http://miserableretailslave.libsyn.com/rss

(Episode 161)

Tommy's Hamster Wheel/ Anxiety/ Randy was an uneasy rider/ Creeps have library cards/ One mini-disaster after another/ a new hero?/ One of the guys in O-Town/ Tucking your shirt in is your security blanket/ The age range of shots/ Becoming a bar man/ Introducing Drawstring/ Drawstring's special ability/ Tommy's tip for ruining your day real quick/ Running into Macho Man Randy Savage/ Superfly's Tum of Steel/ Tommy's wrestling name is The Girthy Bell/ Emoji Headed Robot Bodies/ Jeopardy is the happy place/ Getting gross Money Bin diseases/ Kevin the Hot Gun/ Saying dumb things involuntarily/ Saying the stupidest things to the same people/ Wait, what?/ "it's like a lot right now" - Weird Tommy makes a return/ Painting a happy little point like Bob Ross/ Randy has a beautiful voice/ Working inside a Disney cartoon/ The Pensive Song/ Learning to talk like Bruce Springsteen/ Or Steven Seagal/ A Thompson Show/ Tommy's Book Store Story/ Tommy's fake. but real laugh/ These BK Combinations/ The Cokes and The Pepsis/ Tommy is the Cold Pistol/ Shout out to Epic Film Guys/ Tommy works out what the name "Epic Film Guys" means/ Pop-Punk cover songs/ Laughter is the Cure/ Tommy is going to be in Indianapolis/ Menu Studier/ Featuring/ Hoosier Daddy/ Tommy knows groups of young magicians/ These dumb sayings/ Tommy's Vinyl/ The Elliptical Challenge/ What would you do with 7 extra hours of life?/ Die before you die/ Tommy writes a pornographic film/ Hey, Pizza. Hey/ Tommy breaks down pizza/ Shout out to Chicago, LAB Podcast, and David the Producer/ Broad Ripple

Visit the Patreon page at Patreon.com/MiserableRetailSlave and get access to exclusive content!

Call The Miserable Hotline!!! (810) 328-3826 "LIKE" us on the Facebook, would ya? Leave us a 5-star, positive iTunes review...that would be so kind of you!

Follow us on Instagram: @miserableretailslavepodcast Follow Randy on Twitter: @mretailslave Intro: "Hard Times" by Dan "D-Boy" Amboy Check out his music: https://soundcloud.com/dan-amboy

You should most definitely subscribe to the show if you dig what you hear:

If you like that iTunes, point your Internet right here:

https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/miserable-retail-slave/id527775275?mt=2

Stitcher: http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/miserable-retail-slave

If you enjoy grabbing your pods using something else: http://miserableretailslave.libsyn.com/rss

(Episode 160)

NBA Jam rumors/ Can't hate Jordan/ Tommy's inner peace/ Simple Man/ Go have a little comedy baby/ Tommy Definitions/ "A Water Gun"/ A horror inside in a tupperware dish/ Food in a bathroom?/ Can you die from the scent of nuts?/ A nut assassin/ Make Peanut Butter, Not War/ All the Fat Boyz of America Unite/ the Fear of Trying New Foods/ Breaking down the phrase "silly goose"/ Tommy's always sleepy/ A breakdown of Tommy's life/ so many corn questions/ Billy Corgan/ How you gain an arch enemy?/ Kevin Costner/ Hitting birds/ glorious raptors/ Top 5 comedians/ Richard in cursive/ A hawk with a beer belly/ Left your heft/ Joel/ I'm a green light, baby/ A sad tale that will make you cry/ Cujo vs. Beethoven/ Updates on Danger Zone/ Is Olaf a better snowman than Frosty?/ The Bruce Springsteen autobiography/ "he paints a good point"/ Tommy gives some advice as a performer/ You don't want it to be too hype/ The Online Dating Atlas/ Trying to find my dumb, stupid Juliet/ JUST ASK/ Tinder is the glory hole of online dating/ Ravishing Rick Rude/ Driving You Batty with your bat van/ Summertime/ Foiled by filters/ Screening Internet Dating Messages/ Taking a heel turn/ Tommy's a black hole/ Dr. Penrose and Randy + the legalities of dream crimes

Visit the Patreon page at Patreon.com/MiserableRetailSlave and get access to exclusive content!

Call The Miserable Hotline!!! (810) 328-3826

"LIKE" us on the Facebook, would ya?

Leave us a 5-star, positive iTunes review...that would be so kind of you!

Follow us on Instagram: @miserableretailslavepodcast Follow Randy on Twitter: @mretailslave Intro: "Hard Times" by Dan "D-Boy" Amboy Check out his music: https://soundcloud.com/dan-amboy

(Episode 159)

It's a short, weird episode.

Real responsibility/ Driving one of Voltron's lions/ Action movie fears/ Eat the head?/ The right leg of a massive robot of death/ Skippers/ Wheelchair bound Voltron/ Picking up a healthy smoking habit/ The Ringer/ The Great Chair Scheme of 2017/ Harold is a weird word/ Collecting families like pogs/ The LOL/ APPARENTLY/ Chair scams/ Used Book Stores and their pets/ The Writer's Block/ Hitting possums/ A story?/ Tommy's haunted mirror story/ Quote of the day/ A new clothing brand/ Promiscuous Wear/ Updates on Danger Zone/ Correlations/ Resume to replace Tommy/ The end of Chris Vickers?/ Tommy is Mr. Negative/ a weird, horrible episode

Visit the Patreon page at Patreon.com/MiserableRetailSlave and get access to exclusive content!

Call The Miserable Hotline!!! (810) 328-3826 Follow us on Instagram: @miserableretailslavepodcast Follow Randy on Twitter: @mretailslave Follow Tommy on Twitter: @TomEComedy Intro: "Hard Times" by Dan "D-Boy" Amboy Check out his music: https://soundcloud.com/dan-amboy

(Episode 158)

A Patriotic Uncle Sam Ghost/ This sucks, do that instead/ Shark Voodoo/ Hammerheads would like a word/ Hammerman/ Parachute Pants/ Hammer was my Homie/ Who would win in a rap battle: MC Hammer or the Fresh Prince?/ Cocky rapper laugh/ Tommy's bathroom stall tale/ These parking lots/ Gotta get that Blanche/ Mighty Mean/ These olds are reckless in these parking lots/ Smelling like Tom Waits' Coat/ Tom Waits rules, bro/ Rebooting Rambo in a parking lot/ Bazooka Joe/ Surfing Dude Personas/ Tommy has Matchbox Twenty conversations/ Stoic face and Pensive Eyes/ LA Looks/ A Big Bug Movie/ The Louisville Ladybug/ Randy's problem with Sharknado/ The cast of 90210/ Online dating is weird/ When online dating meets reality/ Pointing and laughing/ Dating in the 1950s/ Tommy has a nun love story/ a penguin in the desert/ Snapchat/ One second interactions/ Randy's Career Fair: a nostalgic blinks of attention/ The Big Date/ Wanted: New Co-host/ Tommy doesn't like clean things any more/ The Writer's Block/ Tommy references Tomb Raider/ Forgetting ideas/ The Elliptical Man/ Tommy thinks he has the Excalibur of phones/ Tommy's inner thoughts: Pizza Day/ Tommy causes a civil war over pizza/ Interview questions/ Tokyo/ I am Piston Honda/ Move over Stan, Here comes a new idea, Spider-Man Two/ The last time I rode a bicycle/ Tommy rides bikes/ Tommy is getting his dream motorcycle/ Tommy gets Forrest Gumper

Visit the Patreon page at Patreon.com/MiserableRetailSlave and get access to exclusive content!

Call The Miserable Hotline!!! (810) 328-3826 Follow us on Instagram: @miserableretailslavepodcast Follow Randy on Twitter: @mretailslave Follow Tommy on Twitter: @TomEComedy Intro: "Hard Times" by Dan "D-Boy" Amboy Check out his music: https://soundcloud.com/dan-amboy

(Episode 157)

Nostaligia/ Tommy references Little River Band for some reason/ Tommy was an ugly baby/ Well Baby/ Larry #1/ Urban Hicks/ The Legend of Larry/ That's Just Larry/ Looking up to people/ Randy the Gentleman/ High on the glue/ Becoming vanilla ice cream/ What does Tommy do with his days?/ Where the Sidewalk Ends/ A trick hip/ Doing yoga/ Apocalyptic Paper Jam/ The Mysteries of Tiffany's Pants/ The face of grasshoppers/ A Sissy Letter/ Updates on Danger Zone/ Probably/ It's got to be a two -way street/ No music festival worries/ Flashback: A Surreal Bar Experience/ The nose farts of HAB/ The tick tock of Florida crocs/ Missed Connections/ #WaitItOut/ Tommy's old motor brain/ Wanted the beast/ Men are boll weevils/ Tommy used his phone to make an order/ Watch as the Stain Grows/ The one time Missed Connections actually worked!!/ The Frustration of Chris Vickers/ Tommy tries to save his arch enemy/ Randy is not invited to Tommy's wedding/ What is Season 5 going to be about?/ The man of words/ The Almost Death/ Tommy forgets everything/ Randy's announcement

Visit the Patreon page at Patreon.com/MiserableRetailSlave and get access to exclusive content!

Call The Miserable Hotline!!! (810) 328-3826 Follow us on Instagram: @miserableretailslavepodcast Follow Randy on Twitter: @mretailslave Follow Tommy on Twitter: @TomEComedy Intro: "Hard Times" by Dan "D-Boy" Amboy Check out his music: https://soundcloud.com/dan-amboy

(Episode 156)

The Season Finale!!!

Rage Quit/ Pac-Man is eating ghosts/ We don't know the backstory of those ghosts/ Wal-Martin/ Pop-Tarts/ Space Facts with Mike Degrease Tyson/ a Wal-Mart Missed Connection/ Those Wal-Mart Piranhas/ a lost soulmate/ Those hard nose breathers/ Tommy performed at a pizza joint/ "There was way other food"/ a special guest/ Season Finale/ Tommy never bumps/ Randy was visited by Sweet Flu Rollins/ Randy the dragon/ An alternative to nuclear war/ a wrong Inspector Gadget reference/ Tommy cried after he was a bully/ "Never shaving creamed another soul"/ The Ghost of Jamiroquai/ The Way that 21st Century Ghosts haunt people/ The two things that Randy knows about Abe Lincoln/ Chris Vickers has more words for Tommy/ Struggling?!!?/ Pipsqueak/ Why are people afraid of clowns?/ Be afraid of the pale faces/ pushing for bathroom stall reform/ Stall gaps/ bathrooms in Italy/ Fart and philosophize/ Tigers stadium thoughts/ adding magical tees/ the elite, VIP stalls/ Depression/ Eyebrows Malone/ The Miserable Hotline/ A Breaking Bad Guy/ Heather D solves Tommy's problems/ Frankie/ Randy is catching Tommy's obesity/ Online dating nonsense/ Updates on Danger Zone and the result of those Top Gun Puns/ Randy put his bobber into the ocean/ Tommy's face is a golf course/ Third times a charm?/ Teasing season 5

Visit the Patreon page at Patreon.com/MiserableRetailSlave and get access to exclusive content!

Call The Miserable Hotline!!! (810) 328-3826 Follow us on Instagram: @miserableretailslavepodcast Follow Randy on Twitter: @mretailslave Follow Tommy on Twitter: @TomEComedy Intro: "Hard Times" by Dan "D-Boy" Amboy Check out his music: https://soundcloud.com/dan-amboy

(Episode 155)

Tommy can't remember his childhood/ We make a Quantum Leap reference/ Abe Falcon is a Netflix Pioneer/ Never Stop Flipping/ Hootie & the Blowfish is the worst band ever/ You can't Netflix Binge when you have real life/ Tommy should enter a strong man competition/ Randy has a way to unite the country/ Tommy looks like Kirby/ Taking away this Netflix/ Bones/ Sculpt Tommy's beard/ How is a life as a big sissy?/ Sick again/ a plague of box elder bugs/ Tommy has an oil slick on his face/ Tommy has a third nipple on his forehead/ Another fast food incident/ Drive Thrus/ Gut fears/ Stretch marks/ "You're like a kite in the wind right now"/ Loose skin/ Tommy is pretty shrinkwrapped/ Remind yourselves on the WAYS OF THE ROAD/ Drive Thrus are always a disaster/ Three hard shell tacos/ The Coolness Factor of the Taco Bell Menu/ Tommy's teeth are falling out/ Have you ever tried to wiggle your teeth?/ Health insurance/ Fairly Unhealthy/ Yahoo Answers/ How do you become popular in high school?/ The Return of Chris Vickers/ Tommy has coarse words for Chris Vickers/ Dexter from Let's Get Drunk and Talk Comics/ Online dating nonsense/ Getting wooed by Match/ Another Miserable Cynic/ Rusty at these messages/ Missed Connections on Match DOT com/ Staging a romantic comedy relationship/ Updates on Red/ More cringe worthy moments/ Tons of Puns/ Introducing Danger Zone/ Gotta get with the cat/ The Horse

Visit the Patreon page at Patreon.com/MiserableRetailSlave and get access to exclusive content!

Call The Miserable Hotline!!! (810) 328-3826 Follow us on Instagram: @miserableretailslavepodcast Follow Randy on Twitter: @mretailslave Follow Tommy on Twitter: @TomEComedy Intro: "Hard Times" by Dan "D-Boy" Amboy Check out his music: https://soundcloud.com/dan-amboy

(Episode 154)

Alright, Alright, Alright/ Getting older and getting weirder/ Mispronouncing Names/ Tummy/ The Human Sponge/ The Few Things in Life That are Funny/ Bumby/ Weird Thoughts/ Shower Beer City, a Water Park for Self Loathing Adults/ Mr Umbrella/ The Tip of The Iceberg and The Infinite Goof/ Tommy has a new voice/ 7 Years of Groans/ The first joke that Tommy told onstage/ Valentines Day/ Trying to not to get sick/ A new Mortal Kombat fatality/ Wearing a sick mask/ The Rules of Dealing with a Vomiting Man/ Two girls, one cup nostalgia/ The grossest thing that made you gag/ Booger Josh/ "I bet you were, Speedball"/ Is it offensive or nah?/ Another gross fast food encounter/ Save the Gorditas/ Oh My God/ Tommy gets sentimental/ Quote of the day/ Gas Stations of the World/ Missed Connections/The State Line/ Knight in Shining Armor/ A homewrecker/ The Miserable Hotline/ Charles Connections/ Long necks/ Tommy filmed a thing for Laughter is the Cure/ Tommy is on an emergency card/ No Tommy kisses for David the Producer

Visit the Patreon page at Patreon.com/MiserableRetailSlave and get access to exclusive content!

Call The Miserable Hotline!!! (810) 328-3826 Follow us on Instagram: @miserableretailslavepodcast Follow Randy on Twitter: @mretailslave Follow Tommy on Twitter: @TomEComedy Intro: "Hard Times" by Dan "D-Boy" Amboy Check out his music: https://soundcloud.com/dan-amboy

(Episode 153)