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London’s Supercop, Nicholas Angel (Simon Pegg), is just too good for the boys in blue. He’s so good (400% by their records) they promote him to sergeant, which sounds great until the cop who can’t be stopped gets assigned to Bumblefuck Nowheresville. Take note, bumpkins, if you drink beer from a straw, this man WILL card you, ya buncha dopey ass toddlers. As the newest addition to the police force–sorry, “police service”– in Sanford, the former “Sheriff of London” is introduced to the second most painful experience in his life, PC Danny Butterman (Nicholas Frost), but by the POWER OF GREYSKULL, the sarge will mold him into a badass mofo yet, with all the proper policing and shit. Don’t forget your notepad for cooking fools and answering important questions like, “Can a goose blow up a house?”. Danny likes beer (just like our Daniel), cake, Bad Boys II, Point Break, and beer, and beer, and beer. As a connoisseur of corner store bargain action DVDs, Constable Fanny Batterbum is an easygoing sort and the only son of the town’s police chief. A regular winner of the “Village of the Year” contest, if this place were a spice, it would be bleached flour. At first glance, Sanford SEEMS perfect, but, to quote Angel, “There’s always something going on”. And, boy howdy, how that something going on turns out!! From there, a slew of completely unrelated things occur in town–y’know, boring shite like decapitations, explosions, impaling–commonly referred to as “accidents” by the sheeple of Dumbfuckcountryhickswick. Now join Roland, Daniel, and Rey as we discuss this amazing piece of cinema. PUNCH THAT SHIT!

Please rate and review us on iTunes and Google Podcasts. Join the conversation on Twitter @MokuestStudios and Instagram @mokueststudios. https://www.patreon.com/mokueststudios

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As BURFDAY EDICT proclaims, this month, in honor of the hatching, a personal selection has been laid down for the crack-a-lacking. For the hell to the fucketh yes, we bring you the funniest musician in existence, “WEIRD” Al Yankovic, the Ninth Wonder of the World himself. If you’ve never had the sheer gut-busting goodness of a Weird Al track, then listen in and EDUMACATE thyself with wonderment! Delicious sarcasm aside, Yank The Great and Mighty really is just the most rad-bad-ass-cool slice of smart-assery and talent pizza you’ll ever feast your ears on. Join Roland, Rey and Daniel as we serve up our Top 5 Weird Al Tracks. 

Please rate and review us on iTunes and Google Podcasts. Join the conversation on Twitter @MokuestStudios and Instagram @mokueststudiosWe would like to thank Five Foot Five for letting us use their song “Texas Held’em” from the album Just For Living. Check them out on Spotify and Apple Music! 

So here we present year two of our hatch day holiday with the baller-ass box office bomb, Last Action Hero, a pretty bitchin’ ballistic action movie starring the Schwarzeneggar as immortal die-hard cop Jack Slater. Get ready for some dick-kicking ridiculousness as Slater goes through life, giving the one-finger-salute to the swamp nuts of crime only to realize it’s all fiction. Welcome to a literal meta-Slaterverse thanks to the plucky, definitely not annoying-as-fuck comedic side-prick wannabe super-fan, Danny, coming across a magical ticket that (probably used to be owned by Satan) lets him step into any movie he wants. So naturally, Danny would want to escape from the “real world” (heavily implying its a total shit-show of a place-I mean he’s not completely wrong) to the land of his hero, and definitely not completely kerfucking Slater’s life with his know-it-all wiseass bitch-smirk. We definitely don’t want to slap him sideways. That would be wrong. Probably? It’s all about the action in this non-stop ass-kicking contest, and Slater is the one with the big boots. Join Daniel, Rey, and Roland as we review this cult favorite cinematic flop.

Please rate and review us on iTunes and Google Podcasts. Join the conversation on Twitter @MokuestStudios and Instagram @mokueststudios. https://www.patreon.com/mokueststudios

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So we’re trying out some new AoMx challenge playlists and our first little foray is picking our favorite track one tunes. Next time…maybe track two?! Have a few /s sandwiches with that last sentence (mmm). Listen in as D-town Joe comes in with his clutch list as usual-done and done with 30 minutes left before we started (plenty of time). Some of us pros can change it up mid-recording (it’s called talent). Daniel’s last track had a particularly hilarious sense of casual dark humor (pigeons CAN be funny). The Humble Purist blesses us with one of his favorite Pixies tracks (no Beatles?!?). Roland picks a track a toddler could have written (who knew they could be so cool?). Laugh as we take a massive raging hate-dump on Craig-bot spasming through our picks. Laugh more as we get a slightly better experience with Rhythm-bot’s wonky-ass controls only working when it damn well feels like it. Somehow, it was fun. Probably the alcohol. Join Rey, Roland, Daniel, and Joe for a quick run through some of our favorites.

Please rate and review us on iTunes and Google Podcasts. Join the conversation on Twitter @MokuestStudios and Instagram @mokueststudiosWe would like to thank Five Foot Five for letting us use their song “Texas Held’em” from the album Just For Living. Check them out on Spotify and Apple Music! 

Tonight we would like to invite you all to a five-course meal…at Taco Bell. The Franchise Wars declared a winner is them in this classic Stallone stomp-fest. John Spartan is a cop who kicks names and takes ass (Huxley-ism). Unfortunately, he’s outsmarted by Simon Phoenix, a true agent of murderous, goofy chaos–and ends up being sent to prison and put into suspended animation for his efforts. ‘Cause y’know…that’s a thing they did in the ‘90s. Years later, he’s thawed to discover that Phoenix was also put on ice-but set free in the future to kill a guy named…Edgar…Friendly. No, really. He wakes to find his world has gone to shit, and then it got a healthy dose…of milquetoast. Surrounded by joy-joy be-well sissies, Spartan must deal with an urge to knit, evil Mr. Rogers, and those three fuckin’ seashells. All of this…and no smokes–or salt, caffeine, bad language, burgers, beers–hurray for the future! Join Daniel, Roland, and Rey as we marvel at the society of 2032 in all its wimpy cringe-glory. 

Please rate and review us on iTunes and Google Podcasts. Join the conversation on Twitter @MokuestStudios and Instagram @mokueststudios. https://www.patreon.com/mokueststudios

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After a slight delay, we are hella-enthused to crack on through our “Books of the Strange” series with number two, the acclaimed classic first-hand account of the extra-terrestrial abduction experience, Communion: A True Story. Written by Whitley Strieber, this book records his thoughts and feelings as his life was forever changed by visitors, not from Earth. What should be an otherwise perfect life of contentment is suddenly ruined by an unexplained sense of disquiet in his mind that only gets worse over time. Strieber hides his unease from his family, struggling in silence. He is plagued by memories that never happened, but he feels otherwise. Places he’s never seen. Technology beyond what is possible. Inhuman beings and examinations. He discovers his mind has been altered and decides to dive down the rabbit hole to find the truth. That, or accept that he’s lost his mind. Join, Rey, Roland, and Daniel as we cover the first book of Strieber’s Communion series.

Follow us Patreon for bonus content, early releases and uncut episodes at https://www.patreon.com/mokueststudiosMusic provided by Bryce Leka & L. Rey Miranda (aka King Louie, aka BEEF, aka EL Rey, aka HK).If you have a paranormal/supernatural story to share, email us at [email protected]

Beginning the next Cinekuest “Apocalypse Trilogy” we bring you Shaun of the Dead. With this first “Cornetto-verse” pick we bring you the dark comedic genius of Simon Pegg and Nick Frost, arguably the funniest duo in existence. They bring plenty of feels too though when Shaun’s entire world as he knows it comes crashing down to eat his ass. In this context, eating ass = not good. Talkin’ about those hard undead Z-words, folks, comin’ to take a bite outta all life as we know it. And the safest place to go when dead shit hits the fan? A bar, BABY! If the world was gonna get fucked, why not get trashed while you’re at it? Can’t get any worse…could it? Join Daniel, Rey, and Roland as we kick off this next round of Cinekuest quarantine chronicles.

Please rate and review us on iTunes and Google Podcasts. Join the conversation on Twitter @MokuestStudios and Instagram @mokueststudios. https://www.patreon.com/mokueststudios

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The Smashing Pumpkins: Era OneAs we come into the Epoch of Rey Prime (™), El Bday Boy has chosen to record this Mixtape on the Smashing Pumpkins. This dive covers the first few albums (it’s a start) as the entirety of the Snatching Apples discography would take more than we can cover in just one ep (by a true fan, anyway-whatever that is). As a fun coincidence, Daniel shaved his head in honor of this episode and in tribute to renowned contrarian and frontman of the band, BillyBob Corgan. The Splooshing Papayas have an unmistakable sound to their music, and here we try our best to keep up with the Quintessential Humble Purist (™), Kylo El-Rey, as he disgorges his modest fandom. Cover your eyes, children. Join Rey, Roland, Bryce, Daniel, and back from reality- D-Town Joe as we cover these Alt-rock Icons, The Spanking Pineapples.    Please rate and review us on iTunes and Google Podcasts. Join the conversation on Twitter @MokuestStudios and Instagram @mokueststudiosWe would like to thank Five Foot Five for letting us use their song “Texas Held’em” from the album Just For Living. Check them out on Spotify and Apple Music! 

In this episode of Cinekust, we bring you to the final movie in the “Apocalypse Trilogy” with In the Mouth of Madness, John Carpenter’s most overt incorporation of Lovecraftian themes in his films to date. Ultra bad-fuckin-ass insurance investigator, John Trent, has no time for hack horror writers-get him a tape if you could? He is completely unaware of the viral sensation that is Baron Wolfgang von Wolfhausen (as Sutter Cane), an author who has a god-process complex inflicted (or invited?) upon him by an “evil older than mankind and wider than the universe”. With great lines like, “Your books SUCK!”, to “Oh, no, not The Carpenters…” and some “Great, uh… tell him I say hi.”, we know you’ll be interested. Check this out with us. Join Rey, Roland, and Daniel on another episode of Cinekuest Video.

Please rate and review us on iTunes and Google Podcasts. Join the conversation on Twitter @MokuestStudios and Instagram @mokueststudios. https://www.patreon.com/mokueststudios

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Debarge it downtime, folks. If none of you have seen it, then you’ve got time this self-quarantining/social distancing eve to check The Last Dragon with us. The only guy that stands between Sho ‘Nuff, the Shogun of Harlem, and total supremacy is the (eats popcorn using chopsticks with a straight face) serious, the saucy (“Hothead, needs cool water”), Leeroy Greene. “Bruce” Leeroy is a man on a personal quest to attain The Glow, mighty power of spiritual Kung fury oneness. The son of a pizzeria owner, this martial arts master must navigate murderous kung-fu street gangs hell-bent on designating his ass for dismemberment, psychopathic arcade owners with piranha tanks, an asshole little brother (Ritchie has delusions of grandeur wet dreams-we hates him, but he does know how to pop-and-lock out of being tied up), all while helping his “friend” learn some “moves”. Did we mention the soundtrack is badasscool? Synthfunkbass twangage tracks were at their best in the 80s. Will Bruce Leeroy successfully keep the power of The Glow out of the hands of evil? Listen in with Daniel, Rey, and Roland, as we ask important questions like, “Why didn’t Ritchie die?” or “He shoulda cracked his head wide open.” or the classic, “Fuck Ritchie and his leather pants.” (real questions probably). 

Please rate and review us on iTunes and Google Podcasts. Join the conversation on Twitter @MokuestStudios and Instagram @mokueststudios. https://www.patreon.com/mokueststudios

Store Door Chime and Projector used under The Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 license