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Welcome to another episode of Fat Food for Phat People. Today we dine…on cereal. Breakfast at night is the best. Dry-ass milk-less cereal…not so much. Ask Daniel, he’ll tell you about it. For the rest of us non-edgelord normies…well two of us were able to finish the whole box…ugh. Still not as bad as eating all those cookies that one time. Listen and see as we go over some food news, the usual It-Tastes-Good-in-my-Mouth, and a possible new segment, Tastes-Like-Shiet (tentative name) before we try and down a whole damn box of cereal (spoiler-not everyone can). Join us as Daniel bemoans and besnarks his lack of moo-juice for the occasion, Rey “God of Crunch” bites through the bag (he’s a growing boy), Roland ends up with the largest portion (makes perfect nonsense), Bryan calmly shovels down a few bowls, and Jamie puts on clothes for the camera as he inhales (he doesn’t breathe when he eats) his Dusty-O’s.

Follow us on Patreon for exclusive and uncut episodes- https://www.patreon.com/mokueststudiosPlease rate and review us on iTunes and Google Podcasts. Join the conversation on Twitter @MokuestStudios and Instagram @mokueststudios. All music by Mokuest Studios.

Sexytime Sambas? Beats Under the Sheets? Shag Shack Shanties? Smashville Sonatas? Trip X WrEckX Tracks? The Ballad of the Beast With Two Bootys? Destination: Splooshpalooza? Poundtown Playl(i/u)st? P2V Mix? Rhythms For the Jizzms? F#@K S0N6z? This was music we wanted all of you to bone down to on V-day….but we’re lazy and missed it by just the tip. Still. Here we are with our picks for setting the mood on a night with your…I wanna say love?… Lovelike?…that person? All of that. Go yous likerburbs. Shake whatcha got. Practice your helicopter. Don’t eat chili beforehand. Light some candles. Take a shower. Wipe. The woiks. Join Rey (Beef), Bryce (presenting Dtown Joe’s Picks), Bryan-of-the-brown-hair, Darkwing Drunk, and Roland as we muddle through this…emotion?  

Please rate and review us on iTunes and Google Podcasts. Join the conversation on Twitter @MokuestStudios and Instagram @mokueststudiosWe would like to thank Five Foot Five for letting us use their song “Texas Held’em” from the album Just For Living. Check them out on Spotify and Apple Music! 

Here we go for round 2 of JC’s “Apocalypse Trilogy” with Prince of Darkness. Listen in as we connect the dots of the Carpenterverse (mostly the reused actors and music). This crack against the evils of “Space Satan” plays out like a synth-wave music video. Get a bunch of awkward, clueless nerds to “research” an ancient glowing toilet full of alien sploosh. Check! Turn your narrow-minded understanding of two thousand years of religion on its head. Checkyboom! Have a possessed hobo (I mean Alice-Fucking-Cooper) leading a mob of vagrants to ensure the coming of the Outer Space Armageddon. Chiggedy checkered! Did I mention the soundtrack is badass-cool-as-all-fucks? Funny thing is that this is all pretty light on plot. Join Daniel, Rey, Bryce, and Roland as we crack along through our review of this wholesome family-fun (the Sawyer family, that is) romp through the end of the world. 

Please rate and review us on iTunes and Google Podcasts. Join the conversation on Twitter @MokuestStudios and Instagram @mokueststudios. https://www.patreon.com/mokueststudios

Store Door Chime and Projector used under The Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 license

Here we go on another Mini-News VS Special: V-day True Crime Tryouts. I mean, we do have a few interesting tidbits to feed the outer limits masses-anyone out there have any experience coding with Python? If so, then you have a chance to zip through some raw data and mebbe interpret some space signals-for science! Another post runs on the ever-never-ending kuest for funding-for science again! If these nerds can get some public cheddar, then they might actually get some concrete credibility (those pesky naysayers). Lastly, everyone takes a turn at reading some romance romps that went…less rompy, and more ravage~y. DO WE HAVE WHAT IT TAKES TO GO PRO?!! Join Bryan, Rey, Bryce, Roland, and Daniel as we ham it up with our best-worst voicing talents. 

Follow us Patreon for bonus content, early releases and uncut episodes at https://www.patreon.com/mokueststudiosMusic provided by Bryce Leka & L. Rey Miranda (aka King Louie, aka BEEF, aka EL Rey, aka HK).If you have a paranormal/supernatural story to share, email us at [email protected]

We may be “dieting” for better or worse, but there is always room for pizza and lots of it! Taco Pizza…ever heard of it? Well, we did and we annihilated that shit! Join Rey, Bryan and Jamie as we “review” The Infamous Taco Pizza from Moran’s Pizzeria in Donna, TX!

Follow us on Patreon for exclusive and uncut episodes- https://www.patreon.com/mokueststudiosPlease rate and review us on iTunes and Google Podcasts. Join the conversation on Twitter @MokuestStudios and Instagram @mokueststudios. All music by Mokuest Studios.

In between our Apocalypse Trilogy anal-yzation we’ve decided to pepper some more of Johnny C’s epic schlockfest classics- enter Big Trouble in Little China. Staring (again) The Hair Himself, Kurt-Of-The-Flowing-Mullet-Russell is Jack “it’s all in the reflexes” Burton, a happy-go-lucky truck driver who wins a couple of grand in a bet and gets pulled into an ancient feud between demons, sorcerers, kung-fu warriors, and a certain bleeding-heart, green-eyed lawyer with a raging justice boner-Gracie…Law. This is some prime cheese territory. Be prepared for cringe, albeit vintage cringe, which is really more amusing in its silliness than stomach-turning. Grandpappy Cryptkeeper, David Lo Pan, is an ancient pervo wizard who just wants to find love from an emerald-eyed Asian thot to restore (no, really) his grope feels. Jack must help his friend Wang rescue his fiance’ from a fate grosser than death-being a snuggle-slave to a 7-foot Chinese goth-mime. Join Bryce, Daniel, Rey, and Roland as we remember our childhoods with another edition of the Extended Carpenterverse Series.       

Please rate and review us on iTunes and Google Podcasts. Join the conversation on Twitter @MokuestStudios and Instagram @mokueststudios. https://www.patreon.com/mokueststudios

Store Door Chime and Projector used under The Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 license

On to the first of the Apocalypse Trilogy, we have the classic horror, John Carpenter’s The Thing. Anyone that grew up with this movie will remember the holy hellshiet crazy crapola going on here. The practical effects of Rob Bottin give even the Hellraiser franchise a run for its gory body horror glory. The guy is an artist with rubber tubes and bbq sauce. As it’s light on the plot you can just sit back and enjoy Bottin’s batshit imagination on display. Kurt Russell’s magnificent hair tries its best to survive an alien invasion at a remote research facility in bumblefuck middle-of-nowhere Antarctica. Will they make it (very maybe) to a sequel? Was there ever (we checked) a parody porn? From the Criterion Crew, we have Idanya and Ron joining us! Listen in as drunk-happy Daniel, Rey, Roland, and Bryan chat about our favorite scenes of classic carnage!  

Please rate and review us on iTunes and Google Podcasts. Join the conversation on Twitter @MokuestStudios and Instagram @mokueststudios.Store Door Chime and Projector used under The Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 license

As promised, the Satanic Panic episode of Valley Strange is here! We believe (like we have any real convictions…) that “The Devil is an energy field created by all living things. It surrounds us, penetrates us, and binds the galaxy together”. Sadly, there are folks that have a problem with our snake friend and argue that his existence is praised in popular media. Here’s our whole take on putting the fear of Beelzeybro (El Satan, Lucy-for) into the masses. Is it (mos def) bullshit? Is it a conspiracy made up by old churchy fartknockers to keep their kids (lame) in Sunday school? Mebbe it’s a buncha dopey ass goth kids who just hate (not looking at you LeVey) the status quo? Who knows, really? Here are our humble thoughts on the “movement”. 

Follow us Patreon for bonus content, early releases and uncut episodes at https://www.patreon.com/mokueststudiosMusic provided by Bryce Leka & L. Rey Miranda (aka King Louie, aka BEEF, aka EL Rey, aka HK).If you have a paranormal/supernatural story to share, email us at [email protected]

In this episode we get into new year’s resolutions…JK LOL! Join Rey, Jamie, Bryan and special guest, Marissa as we deep dive into the latest food news and our recent changes in diet and activity…sort of. Will we make permanent changes, or are we just fooling ourselves? Stay tuned every month as we meet and take account of our journey!

Follow us on Patreon for exclusive and uncut episodes- https://www.patreon.com/mokueststudiosPlease rate and review us on iTunes and Google Podcasts. Join the conversation on Twitter @MokuestStudios and Instagram @mokueststudios. All music by Mokuest Studios.

-For the first half of our Valley Strange ep-The News Of The Strange! Some crazy old bastard pretends to be a grey for decades (there be probes afoot). Does the church think demons are like hand grenades? So demons + children’s books = weaponizing the kiddies! China is doing some Island of Dr. Moreau shirt…….surprised? Anyone? Have a look at some authentic, not-shitty-at-all footage of the Dog Man of San Benny (somebody should learn2stabilize). This has been a brief of the strange….tune in for the full deets! Join Rey, Roland, Bryan and Special Guest Daniel for our exploration into the strange news of the world.

Follow us Patreon for bonus content, early releases and uncut episodes at https://www.patreon.com/mokueststudiosMusic provided by Bryce Leka & L. Rey Miranda (aka King Louie, aka BEEF, aka EL Rey, aka HK).If you have a paranormal/supernatural story to share, email us at [email protected]

Featured photo taken by Bryan Hoke.