Mommying While Muslim

Umaima Jafri very own sister comes on to share her experience with single motherhood and the conspiracy of Counter Violence and Extremism that made her live this life. If you’re familiar with Free Ibrahim Now, you’ve heard about Ibrahim Muhammad and how the FBI held him for 3 years without trial with trumped-up terrorism charges and after strongarming him into a plea bargain, deported him this summer to India. Umaima shares the details of the case and how she’s been forced to be a single mom for 5 years and how it’s not as uncommon as we’d like to belive for Muslim Americans. 

She’s a hero and her fortitude has trickled down to her amazing children who are everyone’s soft spot on the show today. As an American citizen, she’s been put through this due to laws like the Patriot Act that permitted Muslim surveillance and entrapment of primarily Muslim men. Whatever happens to these women’s husbands, happens to their women and children. To that end, the Coalition for Civil Freedoms steps up to support them in the ways that we would not consider and is an awesome place to donate funds. Check them out on the links below.

Links:

1. Free Ibrahim Now FB: https://www.facebook.com/FreeIbrahimzm/ 
2. Coalition for Civil Freedoms: https://www.civilfreedoms.org/
3. Vox on “America’s Childcare Problem:” https://www.nytimes.com/2020/07/15/parenting/working-moms-coronavirus.html 
4. The New York Times on “They Go To Mommy First”: https://www.nytimes.com/2020/07/15/parenting/working-moms-coronavirus.html 
5. Web: www.mommyingwhilemuslim.com
6. Email: [email protected]
7. FB: Mommying While Muslim page and Mommyingwhilemuslim group
8. IG: @mommyingwhilemuslimpodcast
9. YouTube: https://youtu.be/3MKuDfqB0Mk 

Did you know you can send us a text? Feedback, questions, or recommendations welcomed!

Support the show

1. Web: www.mommyingwhilemuslim.com

2. Email: [email protected]

3. FB: Mommying While Muslim page and Mommyingwhilemuslim group

4. IG: @mommyingwhilemuslimpodcast

5. YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCrrdKxpBdBO4ZLwB1kTmz1w

Dr. Aneesah Nadir, a lifelong social worker, professor, and director of the Islamic Social Services Association of America and attorney Zarinah Nadir join us today to discuss the paperwork we need to LIVE WELL. Their backgrounds in the law and social work are huge resources to our community and their experience is GOLD. We aren’t inviting death to us by getting our affairs in order; rather we need to be prepared for it as Muslims are instructed to do by God. 

We talk about the cultural barriers to advanced care planning, the specific documents needed to live well and in peace, where to go to get them ready, what happens if we don’t prepare, and Janazah preparation. These are all things that if lined up, inshaAllah will protect us and our families when catastrophe hits. 

Pray for all good things, but tie your camel as well!

Links: 

1. Find out more about the ISSA: https://issausa.org/
2. Contact Dr. Aneesah Nadir for a subscription service to help get your documents in order: [email protected] or 480-233-6547
3. Yaqeen Institute on end of life decisions: https://yaqeeninstitute.org/maryam-sultan/pulling-the-plug-the-islamic-perspectives-on-end-of-life-care/
4. Conversation Project starter kit: https://www.aafp.org/dam/AAFP/documents/patient_care/conversation_project/cp-starter-kit.pdf
5. Web: www.mommyingwhilemuslim.com
6. Email: [email protected]
7. FB: Mommying While Muslim page and Mommyingwhilemuslim group
8. IG: @mommyingwhilemuslimpodcast

Did you know you can send us a text? Feedback, questions, or recommendations welcomed!

Support the show

1. Web: www.mommyingwhilemuslim.com

2. Email: [email protected]

3. FB: Mommying While Muslim page and Mommyingwhilemuslim group

4. IG: @mommyingwhilemuslimpodcast

5. YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCrrdKxpBdBO4ZLwB1kTmz1w

The vertically multigenerational family is not new to America, or to the world. We discuss the pros and cons of vertical and horizontal generations in a household, talking about the trauma we’ve witnessed and how we take the good parts of our histories to build future families.

Alternatives to intergenerational families are explained, as well as the costs. The economic realities that are forcing families into multigenerational households is going to be faced head-on in this episode. This opens a can of worms on HOW to run a multigenerational family within American culture with Islamic values? It comes down to how we culturally define “family” and what that looks like and works like for us.    

Links:  

1. NYT on Emotional Labor of Moms: https://www.nytimes.com/2020/07/15/parenting/working-moms-coronavirus.html?searchResultPosition=1
2. The Multigenerational Household: https://www.gu.org/explore-our-topics/multigenerational-households/
3. The Legacy Project: https://www.legacyproject.org/guides/intergenbenefits.html
4. The Graying of America: https://www.census.gov/library/stories/2018/03/graying-america.html
5. Statistics on Multigenerational Households https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2018/04/05/a-record-64-million-americans-live-in-multigenerational-households/
6. Web: www.mommyingwhilemuslim.com
7. Email: [email protected]
8. FB: Mommying While Muslim page and Mommyingwhilemuslim group
9. IG: @mommyingwhilemuslimpodcast

Did you know you can send us a text? Feedback, questions, or recommendations welcomed!

Support the show

1. Web: www.mommyingwhilemuslim.com

2. Email: [email protected]

3. FB: Mommying While Muslim page and Mommyingwhilemuslim group

4. IG: @mommyingwhilemuslimpodcast

5. YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCrrdKxpBdBO4ZLwB1kTmz1w

We continue our discussion of the evolution of the Muslim American family in this episode: What does that look like and why? An anonymous guest shares her personal experience of marrying a non-Muslim man with Zaiba and Uzma today. What led her to do it, and what takeaways does she have?

The social landscape is just different in America and with that comes changes from our understanding of the “traditional” Muslim family. There are opportunities and challenges here that don’t exist in Muslim countries, and we do the best we can with what we have. How do we do this within the constructs of Islam and maintain our Muslim identities and practices? And will the lota ever NOT be an issue?

Whether we agree or disagree with individual choices, we always come way with something learned, and this episode is no exception. The lesson provided by our guest gave us a lot to think about, and we are so grateful she shared her experience with us.

Note: Terms used in the episode not everyone may know

“namaaz”=salat=established ritual prayer in Islam

“roza”=sawm=ritual fast in Islam

Links:https://youtu.be/NrB8Iamo0OA

1. Go Fund Me for the Diol family: https://gf.me/u/ym324g 
2. Muslim American interfaith marriage article: https://www.huffpost.com/entry/can-a-muslim-woman-marry-a-non-muslim-man_b_589aae92e4b061551b3e05a8
3. ISPU Muslim American interfaith marriage statistics: https://www.ispu.org/to-have-and-to-hold-interfaith-marriage-just-as-common-among-muslim-americans-as-christians/
4. Web: www.mommyingwhilemuslim.com
5. Email: [email protected]
6. FB: Mommying While Muslim page and Mommyingwhilemuslim group
7. IG: @mommyingwhilemuslimpodcast

Did you know you can send us a text? Feedback, questions, or recommendations welcomed!

Support the show

1. Web: www.mommyingwhilemuslim.com

2. Email: [email protected]

3. FB: Mommying While Muslim page and Mommyingwhilemuslim group

4. IG: @mommyingwhilemuslimpodcast

5. YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCrrdKxpBdBO4ZLwB1kTmz1w

Zaiba & Uzma hash it out over outlaws...no, the IN laws on this episode. Having been in these relationships for a while, they talk about interference, childrearing disputes, social and ethnic expectations, and most importantly, communication gaps that lead to an outlaw situation. The audience really participated in this one and their answers to MWM’s survey questions are terrific and telling. They’re not just talking about having outlaws; they’re also talking about how NOT to be one themselves!

Check out the links in the show notes for this one and find some good reads on the Islamic perspectives on good relationships with in-laws, as well as some funny ones.

Links:https://youtu.be/NrB8Iamo0OA

1.    Muslim Matters article on living with in-laws: https://muslimmatters.org/2014/11/06/whats-the-matter-should-i-marry-a-good-man-and-live-with-mother-in-law/

2.    Yaqeen Institute on Social Justice: https://cdn2.hubspot.net/hubfs/4713562/40HadithLectureNotes/40nSocialJustice-Week-28.pdf?__hstc=251652889.ddb475c8347a94f159eafcfc3d682597.1583214108496.1583214108496.1583393341401.2&__hssc=251652889.2.1583393341401

3.    Funny read on inlaws: https://scoopempire.com/how-to-handle-the-five-different-types-of-mothers-in-law/ 

4.    Interesting albeit limited and arguable read: https://www.arabnews.com/node/992636/saudi-arabia

5.    Web: www.mommyingwhilemuslim.com

6.    Email: [email protected]

7.    FB: Mommying While Muslim page and Mommyingwhilemuslim group

8.    IG: @mommyingwhilemuslimpodcast

Did you know you can send us a text? Feedback, questions, or recommendations welcomed!

Support the show

1. Web: www.mommyingwhilemuslim.com

2. Email: [email protected]

3. FB: Mommying While Muslim page and Mommyingwhilemuslim group

4. IG: @mommyingwhilemuslimpodcast

5. YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCrrdKxpBdBO4ZLwB1kTmz1w

Yasmin El Hady, lawyer, mom, and comedienne joins Zaiba and Uzma to talk about her out of the box career. Is our dream job REALLY our dream? Why or why not? These are important topics explained, as well as the wealth of comic relief in mothering, “Ramy,” what “move over” means, Muslim porn stars, and the halal and haram of entertainment.

Despite the sound difficulties in this episode, it delivers the laughs and perspective needed to chase down “what might have been” so that it becomes a reality TODAY insha’Allah (God willing).

Links:https://youtu.be/NrB8Iamo0OA

1. Find Yasmin on IG: @yasguru
2. Yasmin’s comedy on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCURpYI86UnAFDzoEAJ4FjXQ/featured or https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCmPHDe-VpmsgNdAWF0S8t6Q
3. Shows discussed in today’s episode
   1. Ramy https://www.hulu.com/series/ramy-4bcb6c3a-3d9a-4d49-b8e0-57fb7de9c8d6
   2. Unfair & Ugly https://strangermagic.com/unfairandugly/about-unfair-and-ugly/
4. Comediennes discussed in today’s episode
   1. Zainab Johnson https://www.zainabjohnson.com/about
   2. Teen Vogue’s article on Nadirah Pierre https://www.teenvogue.com/story/nadirah-pierre-instagram-comedy 
5. Web: www.mommyingwhilemuslim.com
6. Email: [email protected]
7. FB: Mommying While Muslim page and Mommyingwhilemuslim group
8. IG: @mommyingwhilemuslimpodcast

Did you know you can send us a text? Feedback, questions, or recommendations welcomed!

Support the show

1. Web: www.mommyingwhilemuslim.com

2. Email: [email protected]

3. FB: Mommying While Muslim page and Mommyingwhilemuslim group

4. IG: @mommyingwhilemuslimpodcast

5. YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCrrdKxpBdBO4ZLwB1kTmz1w

Sumiya Khan, RD comes on today to discuss devastating loss and overcoming it. Her advice on the do’s and don'ts during grieving are golden and should be printed for general public use! She’s truly a model of resilience, and since like-minded folks get together, Sanctuary Kitchen is her passion, outlet, and work empowering refugees. We look forward to her supportive endeavors in Muslim bereavement based on her personal experience.

As a role model for all, she lives life outside the box in her work and at home, showing us that through and in grief are opportunities for our growth and sanctuary. 

Links:https://youtu.be/NrB8Iamo0OA

1. Sumiya on IG: @sumiyaswholekitchen
2. Donate to the awesome work of Sanctuary Kitchen www.sanctuarykitchen.org / IG @sanctuarykitchenct
3. Web: www.mommyingwhilemuslim.com
4. Email: [email protected]
5. FB: Mommying While Muslim page and Mommyingwhilemuslim group
6. IG: @mommyingwhilemuslimpodcast

Did you know you can send us a text? Feedback, questions, or recommendations welcomed!

Support the show

1. Web: www.mommyingwhilemuslim.com

2. Email: [email protected]

3. FB: Mommying While Muslim page and Mommyingwhilemuslim group

4. IG: @mommyingwhilemuslimpodcast

5. YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCrrdKxpBdBO4ZLwB1kTmz1w

Rubina Cohen, our podcast’s Marketing Manager and partner, joins Zaiba again today to talk about how incredible losses in her childhood prepared her for success in the future. From a critical death in the family to running away and exploring faith, Rubina and Zaiba discuss imposter syndrome, difficult relationships, fear-based parenting, and COVID related anxieties that we all share.   

Learn about mindful marketing and seeking the authentic goals that make the most sense for us during these turbulent socioeconomic times. Rubina is a genius at focusing businesses on their “why” and making sure that her clients don’t just hit their financial goals, but also their spiritual ones. Her business know-how “crown” can be worn by moms as well as we run our own human “businesses” trying to be as productive and fulfilling as possible. 

For those wondering, “pahli” is green beans! Maybe Rubina will share her recipe with us on social if ya’ll ask!

Links:https://youtu.be/NrB8Iamo0OA

1. Find Rubina for marketing genius at Firefly Strategies, LLC: https://www.fireflystrategies.com/
2. Peace of Genius Planner: http://www.peaceofgenius.com/the-planner9733.html
3. Join Rubina’s Ritual Power FB group to access the ritual boxes premiering soon: https://www.facebook.com/groups/ritualpower/
4. Businesses wanting to promote themselves maximally can join Genius Illuminated FB group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/geniusilluminated/
5. Web: www.mommyingwhilemuslim.com
6. Email: [email protected]
7. FB: Mommying While Muslim page and Mommyingwhilemuslim group
8. IG: @mommyingwhilemuslimpodcast

Did you know you can send us a text? Feedback, questions, or recommendations welcomed!

Support the show

1. Web: www.mommyingwhilemuslim.com

2. Email: [email protected]

3. FB: Mommying While Muslim page and Mommyingwhilemuslim group

4. IG: @mommyingwhilemuslimpodcast

5. YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCrrdKxpBdBO4ZLwB1kTmz1w

Continuing our series on “moms outside the box,” Lt. Col.  Mona Johnson USA, Retired joins Zaiba and Uzma today to discuss her military career post-divorce, the unique experiences she had as a single Muslim mom in the Army, and the cultural hot topics she saw then and now. As an immigrant to this country in the late 50s, Miss Mona has literally seen the United States transform in progressive ways, yet remained stagnant in others. Some of these discussions are heartwrenching and leave us wanting more or to cover our ears because they’re difficult to hear. We don’t shy away from her accounts because they are our shared American history.

Her insights are useful, especially to those Muslim Americans who question their ability to serve openly in the Armed Forces as people of faith. Hot off the presses, her autobiography is a must for our sons and daughters to learn about their worth, their Muslim identities, and how to change their circumstances against all odds.

Links:https://youtu.be/NrB8Iamo0OA

1. Find Mona Johnson online: https://monajohnsonauthor.com/
2. Purchase Not Created Equal: https://www.amazon.com/Not-Created-Equal-Immigrant-Equality/dp/1734731702/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=mona+johnson&qid=1588900625&sr=8-1
3. Specialist Vanessa Guillen’s murder: https://www.cbsnews.com/news/vanessa-guillen-death-fort-hood-soldier-military-sexual-assault-harrassment/
4. Web: www.mommyingwhilemuslim.com
5. Email: [email protected]
6. FB: Mommying While Muslim page and Mommyingwhilemuslim group
7. IG: @mommyingwhilemuslimpodcast

Did you know you can send us a text? Feedback, questions, or recommendations welcomed!

Support the show

1. Web: www.mommyingwhilemuslim.com

2. Email: [email protected]

3. FB: Mommying While Muslim page and Mommyingwhilemuslim group

4. IG: @mommyingwhilemuslimpodcast

5. YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCrrdKxpBdBO4ZLwB1kTmz1w

Zaiba and Uzma’s dads join them on this bonus episode for Father’s Day talking about their immigrant experiences and how they contributed to their daughters’ Muslim identities in America.

It’s a rare to have male voice on the podcast, but as moms themselves, the cohosts know how important fathers are in their children’s lives. These dads are friends in real life, developed generational relationships and resilience, and pray that their Muslim American grandchildren inherit and practice the truest version of Islam as they create their own culture.

Hear about immigrant “speed dating” experiences, the sage advice of fathers now passed, new daddyhood, and the ultimate raising of kids without a manual of any kid. 

Links:https://youtu.be/NrB8Iamo0OA

1. Gateway to India is still open in Illinois! Zaiba and Uzma do not have any financial interest in this restaurant, just in its history: https://www.gatewaytoindia04.com/#restaurant-information
2. Web: www.mommyingwhilemuslim.com
3. Email: [email protected]
4. FB: Mommying While Muslim page and Mommyingwhilemuslim group
5. IG: @mommyingwhilemuslimpodcast

Did you know you can send us a text? Feedback, questions, or recommendations welcomed!

Support the show

1. Web: www.mommyingwhilemuslim.com

2. Email: [email protected]

3. FB: Mommying While Muslim page and Mommyingwhilemuslim group

4. IG: @mommyingwhilemuslimpodcast

5. YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCrrdKxpBdBO4ZLwB1kTmz1w