Dr. Saadia Mian joins us today to discuss her unexpected journey toward memorization of the Quran, and love for it. As moms, we generally have the primary burden of Quranic study for our kids, but we lose our own relationship with it. Let’s talk about making it a daily practice using baby steps, and touch on how to make the Quran beloved to our kids as well. Dr. Mian’s 4 tips to get closer to the Quran are golden.

Today we answer the relevancy and blessing of the Quran in Muslim American life. It’s not just a mom goal to teach our kids the word of Allah SWT; it’s a mom goal to learn it ourselves.

Links:

1. Find out more about Dr. Saadia Mian and shop The Crowning Venture: https://saadiamianmd.com/
2. Find Dr. Saadia Mian on IG: @saadiamianmd
3. Pursue Quranic study online at your pace: http://ribaat.rabata.org/ 
4. Web: www.mommyingwhilemuslim.com
5. Email: [email protected]
6. FB: Mommying While Muslim page and Mommyingwhilemuslim group
7. IG: @mommyingwhilemuslimpodcast

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1. Web: www.mommyingwhilemuslim.com

2. Email: [email protected]

3. FB: Mommying While Muslim page and Mommyingwhilemuslim group

4. IG: @mommyingwhilemuslimpodcast

5. YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCrrdKxpBdBO4ZLwB1kTmz1w

Anse Tamara Gray, founder of Rabata, an online institute for and by Muslim women to educate themselves in Islam. She’s also an experienced mom who has a lot to share with moms about allying with their kids as part of their mothering. 

Mic drop moment 32:36 when Anse Tamara reminds us about the etymological relationship of the words “umm” (mother) and “imam” (one in front of whom we study, or leader), but on a lighter note at 44:15 “Anse Tamara: I am green beans!” Serious butterflies and chills in this episode, so don’t miss it!

Links:

1. Find out more about Rabata: https://www.rabata.org/
2. Rabata on IG: @rabata
3. Find out more about Ribaat programs: https://ribaat.rabata.org/
4. For more information on the teen program “RabaTeens”: rabateens.rabata.org 
5. For more information on the children’s program “Dragonflies”: dragonflies.rabata.org
6. Anse Tamara on IG: @tamaralgray
7. Anse Tamara’s picks for Muslimah American scholars to know
   1. Dr. Ingrid Matteson: http://ingridmattson.org/about/
      1. With reference to Dr. James Jones: https://yaqeeninstitute.org/team/dr-jimmy-jones/ 
   2. Dr. Zainab Alwani: http

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2. Email: [email protected]

3. FB: Mommying While Muslim page and Mommyingwhilemuslim group

4. IG: @mommyingwhilemuslimpodcast

5. YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCrrdKxpBdBO4ZLwB1kTmz1w

The author of the incredibly popular and much loved book Secrets of Divine Love, A. Helwa, joins us today to talk about her book and what it brings to our souls during these turbulent times. Her popular blog @quranquotesdaily inspires and reminds us of Allah SWT daily as we scroll through fashion and makeup on IG. Secrets of Divine Love is a motivational and inspiring guide to help experience the Qur’an and the Islamic tradition from a place of love, passion, and joy. 

She explains the anonymity of her persona, as well as the importance of authentic connection with each other. She also candidly reminds us that Allah is in control during a time when we all live under delusions of control. More pearls are in this episode than we document here, so take a listen and get the book!

Note: ‘namaz’ is Islamic ritual prayer in the Urdu language; the traditional word for ritual prayer is ‘salah’ in the Arabic language. 

Links:https://youtu.be/NrB8Iamo0OA

1. Purchase Secrets of Divine Love: www.secretsofdivinelove.com
2. Find inspiration: @quranquotesdaily
3. Find the Jeem Journal: https://jeem.life/
4. Web: www.mommyingwhilemuslim.com
5. Email: [email protected]
6. FB: Mommying While Muslim page and Mommyingwhilemuslim group
7. IG: @mommyingwhilemuslimpodcast
8. Purchase Jeem journal (journaling) https://jeem.life/

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Support the show

1. Web: www.mommyingwhilemuslim.com

2. Email: [email protected]

3. FB: Mommying While Muslim page and Mommyingwhilemuslim group

4. IG: @mommyingwhilemuslimpodcast

5. YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCrrdKxpBdBO4ZLwB1kTmz1w

Hurunnessa Fariad of Sister Act podcast joins Zaiba and Uzma today to discuss how her marriage abruptly ended and under the most unique of circumstances. The video on this one is a must watch, so we’ve linked it below (YouTube) so you can see Uzma’s blooper. Poker face much?

We talk about abandonment, women led households as a more common situation worldwide and in America, financial stressors, facing and raising resilient daughters alone. Hurunessa is a pillar of her active Muslim community and a poster child for what true freedom of body and faith look like. Define “broken home,” do better for our single mom sisters who’ve been with their kids all the time way before this pandemic was a thing, get our divorced sisters remarried (in the manner of the sunnah that Muslim men don’t want to follow), and stop identifying ourselves by our marriage status! Our jobs are to not only break the cycles of trauma that lead to divorce but also to prevent the further traumatization of single moms after the fact.

For any single moms or moms in the middle of a divorce out there, let us know what you think and how we can help do better for you. Check out our links below for Muslim centered resources.

Links:https://youtu.be/NrB8Iamo0OA

1.    Listen to Sister Act here: https://open.spotify.com/show/0ytEwMpRfrZzVaGrM1o2qW 

2.    The Family & Youth Institute Divorce Support Toolkit: https://youtu.be/NDk0Y7AMovw 

3.    CDC FastStats on Marriage and Divorce: https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/fastats/marriage-divorce.htm#:~:text=Number%20of%20divorces%3A%20782%2C038%20(45,45%20reporting%20States%20and%20D.C.) 

4.    Web: www.mommyingwhilemuslim.com

5.    Email: [email protected]

6.    FB: Mommying While Muslim page and Mommyingwhilemuslim group

7.    IG: @mommyingwhilemuslimpodcast

8.    Youtube: https://youtu.be/NDk0Y7AMovw 

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Support the show

1. Web: www.mommyingwhilemuslim.com

2. Email: [email protected]

3. FB: Mommying While Muslim page and Mommyingwhilemuslim group

4. IG: @mommyingwhilemuslimpodcast

5. YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCrrdKxpBdBO4ZLwB1kTmz1w

Umaima Jafri very own sister comes on to share her experience with single motherhood and the conspiracy of Counter Violence and Extremism that made her live this life. If you’re familiar with Free Ibrahim Now, you’ve heard about Ibrahim Muhammad and how the FBI held him for 3 years without trial with trumped-up terrorism charges and after strongarming him into a plea bargain, deported him this summer to India. Umaima shares the details of the case and how she’s been forced to be a single mom for 5 years and how it’s not as uncommon as we’d like to belive for Muslim Americans. 

She’s a hero and her fortitude has trickled down to her amazing children who are everyone’s soft spot on the show today. As an American citizen, she’s been put through this due to laws like the Patriot Act that permitted Muslim surveillance and entrapment of primarily Muslim men. Whatever happens to these women’s husbands, happens to their women and children. To that end, the Coalition for Civil Freedoms steps up to support them in the ways that we would not consider and is an awesome place to donate funds. Check them out on the links below.

Links:

1. Free Ibrahim Now FB: https://www.facebook.com/FreeIbrahimzm/ 
2. Coalition for Civil Freedoms: https://www.civilfreedoms.org/
3. Vox on “America’s Childcare Problem:” https://www.nytimes.com/2020/07/15/parenting/working-moms-coronavirus.html 
4. The New York Times on “They Go To Mommy First”: https://www.nytimes.com/2020/07/15/parenting/working-moms-coronavirus.html 
5. Web: www.mommyingwhilemuslim.com
6. Email: [email protected]
7. FB: Mommying While Muslim page and Mommyingwhilemuslim group
8. IG: @mommyingwhilemuslimpodcast
9. YouTube: https://youtu.be/3MKuDfqB0Mk 

Did you know you can send us a text? Feedback, questions, or recommendations welcomed!

Support the show

1. Web: www.mommyingwhilemuslim.com

2. Email: [email protected]

3. FB: Mommying While Muslim page and Mommyingwhilemuslim group

4. IG: @mommyingwhilemuslimpodcast

5. YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCrrdKxpBdBO4ZLwB1kTmz1w

Dr. Aneesah Nadir, a lifelong social worker, professor, and director of the Islamic Social Services Association of America and attorney Zarinah Nadir join us today to discuss the paperwork we need to LIVE WELL. Their backgrounds in the law and social work are huge resources to our community and their experience is GOLD. We aren’t inviting death to us by getting our affairs in order; rather we need to be prepared for it as Muslims are instructed to do by God. 

We talk about the cultural barriers to advanced care planning, the specific documents needed to live well and in peace, where to go to get them ready, what happens if we don’t prepare, and Janazah preparation. These are all things that if lined up, inshaAllah will protect us and our families when catastrophe hits. 

Pray for all good things, but tie your camel as well!

Links: 

1. Find out more about the ISSA: https://issausa.org/
2. Contact Dr. Aneesah Nadir for a subscription service to help get your documents in order: [email protected] or 480-233-6547
3. Yaqeen Institute on end of life decisions: https://yaqeeninstitute.org/maryam-sultan/pulling-the-plug-the-islamic-perspectives-on-end-of-life-care/
4. Conversation Project starter kit: https://www.aafp.org/dam/AAFP/documents/patient_care/conversation_project/cp-starter-kit.pdf
5. Web: www.mommyingwhilemuslim.com
6. Email: [email protected]
7. FB: Mommying While Muslim page and Mommyingwhilemuslim group
8. IG: @mommyingwhilemuslimpodcast

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Support the show

1. Web: www.mommyingwhilemuslim.com

2. Email: [email protected]

3. FB: Mommying While Muslim page and Mommyingwhilemuslim group

4. IG: @mommyingwhilemuslimpodcast

5. YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCrrdKxpBdBO4ZLwB1kTmz1w

The vertically multigenerational family is not new to America, or to the world. We discuss the pros and cons of vertical and horizontal generations in a household, talking about the trauma we’ve witnessed and how we take the good parts of our histories to build future families.

Alternatives to intergenerational families are explained, as well as the costs. The economic realities that are forcing families into multigenerational households is going to be faced head-on in this episode. This opens a can of worms on HOW to run a multigenerational family within American culture with Islamic values? It comes down to how we culturally define “family” and what that looks like and works like for us.    

Links:  

1. NYT on Emotional Labor of Moms: https://www.nytimes.com/2020/07/15/parenting/working-moms-coronavirus.html?searchResultPosition=1
2. The Multigenerational Household: https://www.gu.org/explore-our-topics/multigenerational-households/
3. The Legacy Project: https://www.legacyproject.org/guides/intergenbenefits.html
4. The Graying of America: https://www.census.gov/library/stories/2018/03/graying-america.html
5. Statistics on Multigenerational Households https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2018/04/05/a-record-64-million-americans-live-in-multigenerational-households/
6. Web: www.mommyingwhilemuslim.com
7. Email: [email protected]
8. FB: Mommying While Muslim page and Mommyingwhilemuslim group
9. IG: @mommyingwhilemuslimpodcast

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Support the show

1. Web: www.mommyingwhilemuslim.com

2. Email: [email protected]

3. FB: Mommying While Muslim page and Mommyingwhilemuslim group

4. IG: @mommyingwhilemuslimpodcast

5. YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCrrdKxpBdBO4ZLwB1kTmz1w

We continue our discussion of the evolution of the Muslim American family in this episode: What does that look like and why? An anonymous guest shares her personal experience of marrying a non-Muslim man with Zaiba and Uzma today. What led her to do it, and what takeaways does she have?

The social landscape is just different in America and with that comes changes from our understanding of the “traditional” Muslim family. There are opportunities and challenges here that don’t exist in Muslim countries, and we do the best we can with what we have. How do we do this within the constructs of Islam and maintain our Muslim identities and practices? And will the lota ever NOT be an issue?

Whether we agree or disagree with individual choices, we always come way with something learned, and this episode is no exception. The lesson provided by our guest gave us a lot to think about, and we are so grateful she shared her experience with us.

Note: Terms used in the episode not everyone may know

“namaaz”=salat=established ritual prayer in Islam

“roza”=sawm=ritual fast in Islam

Links:https://youtu.be/NrB8Iamo0OA

1. Go Fund Me for the Diol family: https://gf.me/u/ym324g 
2. Muslim American interfaith marriage article: https://www.huffpost.com/entry/can-a-muslim-woman-marry-a-non-muslim-man_b_589aae92e4b061551b3e05a8
3. ISPU Muslim American interfaith marriage statistics: https://www.ispu.org/to-have-and-to-hold-interfaith-marriage-just-as-common-among-muslim-americans-as-christians/
4. Web: www.mommyingwhilemuslim.com
5. Email: [email protected]
6. FB: Mommying While Muslim page and Mommyingwhilemuslim group
7. IG: @mommyingwhilemuslimpodcast

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Support the show

1. Web: www.mommyingwhilemuslim.com

2. Email: [email protected]

3. FB: Mommying While Muslim page and Mommyingwhilemuslim group

4. IG: @mommyingwhilemuslimpodcast

5. YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCrrdKxpBdBO4ZLwB1kTmz1w

Zaiba & Uzma hash it out over outlaws...no, the IN laws on this episode. Having been in these relationships for a while, they talk about interference, childrearing disputes, social and ethnic expectations, and most importantly, communication gaps that lead to an outlaw situation. The audience really participated in this one and their answers to MWM’s survey questions are terrific and telling. They’re not just talking about having outlaws; they’re also talking about how NOT to be one themselves!

Check out the links in the show notes for this one and find some good reads on the Islamic perspectives on good relationships with in-laws, as well as some funny ones.

Links:https://youtu.be/NrB8Iamo0OA

1.    Muslim Matters article on living with in-laws: https://muslimmatters.org/2014/11/06/whats-the-matter-should-i-marry-a-good-man-and-live-with-mother-in-law/

2.    Yaqeen Institute on Social Justice: https://cdn2.hubspot.net/hubfs/4713562/40HadithLectureNotes/40nSocialJustice-Week-28.pdf?__hstc=251652889.ddb475c8347a94f159eafcfc3d682597.1583214108496.1583214108496.1583393341401.2&__hssc=251652889.2.1583393341401

3.    Funny read on inlaws: https://scoopempire.com/how-to-handle-the-five-different-types-of-mothers-in-law/ 

4.    Interesting albeit limited and arguable read: https://www.arabnews.com/node/992636/saudi-arabia

5.    Web: www.mommyingwhilemuslim.com

6.    Email: [email protected]

7.    FB: Mommying While Muslim page and Mommyingwhilemuslim group

8.    IG: @mommyingwhilemuslimpodcast

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Support the show

1. Web: www.mommyingwhilemuslim.com

2. Email: [email protected]

3. FB: Mommying While Muslim page and Mommyingwhilemuslim group

4. IG: @mommyingwhilemuslimpodcast

5. YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCrrdKxpBdBO4ZLwB1kTmz1w

Yasmin El Hady, lawyer, mom, and comedienne joins Zaiba and Uzma to talk about her out of the box career. Is our dream job REALLY our dream? Why or why not? These are important topics explained, as well as the wealth of comic relief in mothering, “Ramy,” what “move over” means, Muslim porn stars, and the halal and haram of entertainment.

Despite the sound difficulties in this episode, it delivers the laughs and perspective needed to chase down “what might have been” so that it becomes a reality TODAY insha’Allah (God willing).

Links:https://youtu.be/NrB8Iamo0OA

1. Find Yasmin on IG: @yasguru
2. Yasmin’s comedy on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCURpYI86UnAFDzoEAJ4FjXQ/featured or https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCmPHDe-VpmsgNdAWF0S8t6Q
3. Shows discussed in today’s episode
   1. Ramy https://www.hulu.com/series/ramy-4bcb6c3a-3d9a-4d49-b8e0-57fb7de9c8d6
   2. Unfair & Ugly https://strangermagic.com/unfairandugly/about-unfair-and-ugly/
4. Comediennes discussed in today’s episode
   1. Zainab Johnson https://www.zainabjohnson.com/about
   2. Teen Vogue’s article on Nadirah Pierre https://www.teenvogue.com/story/nadirah-pierre-instagram-comedy 
5. Web: www.mommyingwhilemuslim.com
6. Email: [email protected]
7. FB: Mommying While Muslim page and Mommyingwhilemuslim group
8. IG: @mommyingwhilemuslimpodcast

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Support the show

1. Web: www.mommyingwhilemuslim.com

2. Email: [email protected]

3. FB: Mommying While Muslim page and Mommyingwhilemuslim group

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5. YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCrrdKxpBdBO4ZLwB1kTmz1w