Charles and his wife, Michelle, are worth $10 million, and he earns over $2 million a year--but he’s cheap. So cheap, he still insists on sharing someone else’s Netflix password. 

Michelle has been pushed to the limit. Divorce is on the cards unless things change. She wants to start with landscaping the backyard, but I want to investigate the roots of this invisible script that’s costing him his marriage. 

There’s 21 years’ worth of scar tissue to heal here. Let’s dig in. 

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If you and your partner have a money issue and you want my help, I occasionally select a couple to work with, free of charge. Apply for my help here.

Produced by Crate Media.

Brian is a struggling tech entrepreneur and relies on his wife, Serena, a physician with a stable income of $235,000, to support his family. Serena wants Brian to get a job and admit that his start-up isn’t working. She's extremely focused — perhaps too focused — on buying a house.

Brian doesn't like saying “No” to Serena, so he evades questions and promises that everything will change "4-6 months from now," but after seven years, Serena's patience is running thin. 

Can you spot the red flags? 

Listen to the resentment and distrust in her voice. Brian's promises to get a job and turn things around are falling flat. What's worse is that he can't even see it. 

I'm not going to sugarcoat it; it's heartbreaking to watch a seemingly successful couple totally disconnected from each other. 

I'm determined to get them on the same page. Tune in to see how their story unfolds. 

We started the conversation focusing on Serena’s dream to buy a house sooner rather than later, but it becomes apparent that the house is a distraction from the deeper desire to have a partner on the same page as her. 

Connect with Ramit

If you and your partner have a money issue and you want my help, I occasionally select a couple to work with, free of charge. Apply for my help here.

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Monique expects Pablo to pay for her “as the man” in the relationship. Pablo wants “fairness” in a partner.

Last week, I dug into their money psychology. Right at the end of last week’s conversation -- when both were feeling good -- they started discussing an upcoming trip to Mexico City. Suddenly, everything fell apart.

All their positive feelings and new skills got thrown to the side, and they went right back to their old habits.

That’s why I had to add a part two to our conversation. That’s today’s episode.

When they’re discussing the trip, Monique already has her argument ready before Pablo finishes a sentence. Pablo’s fists are clenched. He wants to be the laid-back, confident guy Monique fell in love with, but his views on money have changed. You’ll hear him describe “Antonio,” his scarcity-minded alter ego.

This conversation surprised me in so many ways. Listen in.

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If you and your partner have a money issue and you want my help, I occasionally select a couple to work with, free of charge. Apply for my help here.

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Monique is very open with what she wants in a relationship. “I always expected that fairytale love, the guy pays for everything, the guy opens the door, the guy waits to kiss me at the end of the night...”

But her boyfriend, Pablo, disagrees. He feels taken advantage of. He shares the story of Monique ordering a $10 soup in a restaurant when he wasn’t even eating, then both of them staring at the bill to see who would pay for it.

Their beliefs come from their upbringing and very specific personal experiences. For Monique, she believes Pablo should pay because of how she was raised. At one point, she says it’s his job to pursue her. Pablo wants to split things “fairly” down the middle, saying he wants a “partner.”

Their opposing money lenses lead to awkward exchanges at restaurants when the check arrives. For Monique, him paying for a $10 soup is symbolic of being “taken care of.” Pablo doesn’t think it’s fair. He says he would prefer she did the “fake check dance” before he steps up to “be the gentleman.”

How many invisible scripts can you spot? What does your reaction to the situation say about your relationship with money?  

I walked into this episode pretty confident about what would happen. I was wrong.

Connect with Ramit

If you and your partner have a money issue and you want my help, I occasionally select a couple to work with, free of charge. Apply for my help here.

Produced by Crate Media.

When Chris shops for food online, he compares the cost of almond milk and strawberries to save a few dollars. He spends hours agonizing over the most economical flight routes. He even stopped and picked up a used stroller from someone’s driveway.

Chris and his wife Amy have a net worth of $8 million.

Their friends call them cheap. They prefer to identify as "money hackers” and have lots of reasons why they behave the way they do. But even with their explanations, they’re not happy with how they’re using money to live a Rich Life.

Chris and Amy are optimizers. They optimize points and options, a normal part of the tech culture in which they work. There’s just one problem: It’s making them unhappy!

Imagine a world where Chris and Amy didn't have to put price first. Imagine a scenario where they could start with the kind of magical experience they wanted to create -- and use money to make it happen.

As you listen, it’s easy to roll your eyes at the amounts of money being discussed. Resist that temptation. Amy and Chris have given us a gift by being so open with their finances and their challenges. I love today's episode because it shows you that if you have money issues today, It's very likely you're going to have the exact same money issues later at a million dollars or 5 million or yes, $8 million.

Connect with Ramit

If you and your partner have a money issue and you want my help, I occasionally select a couple to work with, free of charge. Apply for my help here.

Produced by Crate Media.

Andy and Kate bring in $200,000 a year and live rent free. Andy feels bad about money every day. His partner, Kate, says she wants to work as a financial team, but she walks on eggshells. Andy wants to make her happy, but he has a poor relationship with money.

And that’s not all. Andy has $1.1 million dollars in a trust fund, managed by a financial advisor, and he still has holes in his shoes. I asked them, “Do you want to turn 65, have $10 million, and still worry about getting dessert?”

Andy will have to decide if he’s going to let his old money stories determine the next 50 years of his life. 

Connect with Ramit

If you and your partner have a money issue and you want my help, I occasionally select a couple to work with, free of charge. Apply for my help here.

Produced by Crate Media.

Meet Chuck and Mary. With a household income of $450,000 a year, they’re wealthy, but they’re not living A Rich Life. Mary spends money--in secret -- and feels judged when she makes “frivolous” designer bag purchases. Meanwhile, Chuck feels he can’t invest in a personal trainer. 

Their backstory is revealing.

Mary grew up in a large family in Argentina where a bottle of Coca-Cola was an indulgence. When she made it to the States, she never wanted to feel deprived again. 

Suddenly, her spending takes on a new dimension. To her, a Chanel bag is more than just a bag.

They have the money, yet they lack a shared plan. To create a Rich Life, they’ll have to dig into each other’s money clues.

Connect with Ramit

If you and your partner have a money issue and you want my help, I occasionally select a couple to work with, free of charge. Apply for my help here.

Produced by Crate Media.

A few years ago, Adam spent nine months aggressively paying off $75,000 in debt. He loved it. It gave him a purpose and he was happy to work seven days a week to pay it off quickly.

His girlfriend, Elizabeth, has debt, but she isn’t excited by paying it off. Instead, she feels trapped, describing herself as “dumb” with money. (Notice the words she uses to describe herself and her debt: “disgusting,” “bad,” and “stupid.”)

Adam’s aggressive approach of constantly talking about money isn’t working. Even though he wants to help, she craves emotional security and support. At one point, as Adam is about to go into yet another long monologue, I cut him off. 

Sometimes, what worked for you doesn’t work for your partner. Listen in to hear how Adam and Elizabeth navigate their Rich Life.

Connect with Ramit

If you and your partner have a money issue and you want my help, I occasionally select a couple to work with, free of charge. Apply for my help here.

Produced by Crate Media.

Laura came to me frustrated about their bathroom. She wants to renovate it, but Greg isn’t interested. In fact, he doesn’t really want to talk about money at all.

For Laura and Greg, life is “fine.” They’re running on cruise control, earning a good income, saving a little, and not investing in anything other than a house. But Laura wants more than a “fine” life.

When Laura says this out loud, Greg’s response is: “Well, it depends, right?”

Greg is resistant to change. He’s skeptical about investing, about renovating, about travel. When I ask him what he really wants to do, he has no idea. He won’t engage. 

How would you handle money in your relationship if your partner didn’t want to talk about it? What if your partner had lost the ability to dream and simply wanted to “play small?”

Connect with Ramit

If you and your partner have a money issue and you want my help, I occasionally select a couple to work with, free of charge. Apply for my help here.

Produced by Crate Media.

Nicole and John have already won the money game. Combined, they bring in $650,000 a year. But it's not an even split. Nicole currently earns $150,000 and would like to leave her stable job to create a startup. John feels this gamble has not been discussed at length. They keep talking about “having the conversation,” but they never do.

Both complain that they’re not feeling appreciated. John yearns for acts of service from Nicole. Nicole feels like her contribution is never enough. (You will frequently hear the lower earner talk repeatedly about “contributing” to the relationship.) Listen as this anxiety slowly bubbles to the surface. 

On John's side, the growing pile of money in his bank account is making him more paranoid than ever before. He worries he could lose it all -- like what happened when he was younger. The fear runs so deep, he doesn't even believe me when I use math to demonstrate they will be more than fine for the rest of their lives.

On paper, Nicole and John have a rich life, but they're not fleshing it out together because of their fears, insecurities, and lack of communication. Listen in as I nudge them towards a Rich Life.

Connect with Ramit

If you and your partner have a money issue and you want my help, I occasionally select a couple to work with, free of charge. Apply for my help here.

Produced by Crate Media.