More Content Talk

More Content Talk

By Christopher P. CarterNewsDaily News
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More Content Talk episodes

  • Divisive Divisiveness and The Dividers Who Divide It with Division

    Division. Long division. Short division. Divisive division. Remissive division. Different sides. Different schemes. Differing opinions. Opposing opinions. Decomposing opinions. Difficult decisions. Ideological inhibitions. Contrasting tastes within culture clashing kitchens. Culture clashes in countries of origin. Tribal warfare in an urban setting. Dangerous ideas in unsettling settings. Suburban youth without good old fashioned parenting subletting their wedding for a set of newly pressed bedding. Tough days ahead. Tougher days behind. No future to speak of, so plenty of time to unwind and get wound by approaching deadlines. But everything’s fine. Everything’s grand. Oh barnacles, crime’s on the rise again. Top story today: a man took knife and held it on display for thirty six hundred of rent on delay. He robbed an old maid. She’s about sixty-five. Gave up on retirement for a cool nine to five and now she’s in the ER barely alive. Next story up is a rhyme about Phil, who overdosed just last weekend on pills. He graduated from college in 2003, lost twenty-two jobs, but couldn’t do twenty-three. At least he is nothing like Johnny the snake; he murdered his wife and left her in a lake. Division. Divisive. Just the facts please. If you don’t have anything boring to say, don’t say it all. We like our news boring round these here parts. If it ain’t boring, it ain’t news. Keep it straight. Clench those butt cheeks in your chair and read the teleprompter news. Put on a quarter pound of budget foundation and clog every pore in your face until the sweat runs away from your face news. Give the drunken failed actress turned weather lady a ten A.M. martini and let her go off script news. Smile so wide your lips crack into a thousand pieces news. Become so randomly angry about meaningless bullshit that even an ape with indigestion would tell you to relax news. Invite your weird loser uncle to come to work and do the sports report because his wife just left him news. Remember this is serious stuff. Lives are at stakes, and each and every one of those lives is a potential viewer. More views equals more likes. More likes equals better quality SEO. Better quality SEO equals more profit. Profit on top of profit, constantly compounding. What are people currently searching on Google? Division. Divisiveness. Civil War. The coming Civil Ware. The coming third World War. Armageddon. The end of days. America is worse than it has ever been and it’s because of division. America has never been divided before, not in this way, not according to the trust fund babies who own the news. Division. You can blame anything on division: crime, poverty, recessions, depressions, the whole nine yards, the whole kit and kaboodle. And then, there you sit, rocking back and forth, with no one to blame but some generic concept dreamed up by a trust fund baby. That's not allowed, too divisive. The end is near. The time is now. Time is up. Time is ticking. Tick tock. Tick tock. Have you seen Tiktok's stock? Have you gleaned the stock market drop? What is your dictation on inflation? Doesn't matter. Too divisive. Talk about something else. Scratch that. Talk about something wealth. Breaking news: a phony billionairess was deported for premiering on a show on Netflix. This just in: celebrities are eating food that they think you should eat if you are missing sleep every other week and have developed stiff peaks on your beak. One last thing: overpriced junk is leaving lumps on tiny runts for many months. Do you think that's just? Doesn't matter much. Too divisive. Think of something better, something blander, something older, something madder. No division. No decisions. No negative emissions emanating from our mission. Keep it happy. Keep it cool. Keep it snappy. Keep it true. Tell the truth, but not too much. Speak the speech and please be blunt. But not too much, nothing too much, never too much. Because that's divisive and dividers divide our division too much.

    16 min
  • I Can See Your Halo Effect Part II: Holier Than Wow
    Though I could surely quote Shakespeare or Mozart or Voltaire to communicate the severity of the halo effect, I would much rather quote one of the great celebrity minds of our time, Kesha, who once uttered in a drunken stupor, "My placenta. My mom found in my basement, crushed up, and made into a necklace that I wear every day to improve my psychic abilities.” Apart from dropping illuminating knowledge bombs like the aforementioned quote, Kesha is also a "hardcore environmentalist", which, I imagine, combines extreme sports with popular conservation techniques like recycling or eating organic. Bro, I'm totally composting my wife's sustainably raised hemp tampons dude. Extreme environmentalism! Hardcore bro. She is also an ordained minister, which is cool if you're into that sort of thing I guess. If I need reliable advice I usually consult a doctor, scientist or a university professor, but what do I know? I'm just normal and normal is totally outdated, at least in the world of celebrity anyway. Besides, Kesha knows best, as clearly evidenced by this other clearly reasonable observation of hers: "I exude energy, dead entities cling to me. I had a spirit follow me into my house... Things were flying off the shelf. So my healer, she had to literally give me an exorcism. I know that sounds crazy, but it worked." Right. Yeah, everything seems just fine there. It has to be right. I mean, she has more money than I do so obviously demons follow her around and throw her stuff off of her shelves. It only makes sense. There's no way a rich person could possibly have access to drugs and alcohol that could very easily make them hallucinate any number of crazy things. That just doesn't happen to the chosen ones. They're immune to all that. Good genes and all that rot. This is evidenced by the musings of another great mind of our time, Sarah Jessica Parker (a true role model for women who make odd observations about having to go the bathroom everywhere), who said, "I love the smell of diapers. I even like when they’re wet and you smell them all warm like a baked good." Not surprisingly Parker owns her own line of beauty products and clothing, some of which cost about $500 dollars for you to call your own. Sex and the City was great, but you're going to absolutely love Sex and Shitty Deals, premiering this Spring! How about this brilliant little number from Ariana Grande, "I used to have a folder called “Demons” that had pictures with all the screencaps in it, but then weird things started happening to me so I deleted it." Screencaps? Demons? Ah! Get me the hell out of here!!! Grande's partnership with Luxe, a popular cosmetics brand, is now generating more than 150 million dollars in retail sales. Oh and by the way, Lady Gaga apparently has jagged bones with sharp points, or at least she believes she does. “They’re not prosthetics. They’re my bones. They come out when I’m inspired. They’ve always been inside of me, but I have been waiting for the right time to reveal to the universe who I truly am.” Right. That has to be right. It has to be right because she's raking in the dough as well, and rich people are always right. They are always correct, especially when they are popular. Gaga currently owns Haus Laboratories, a vegan cosmetics brand (yes, that's a thing; don't try to understand it or head might explode) that launched in 2019. Cosmetics is big business, boasting a $500 billion market. I suppose you could believe that these outlandish quotes that any psychotic would appreciate are somehow just quirky little personality traits. I suppose you could also go full fundamentalist Christian and believe that Lady Gaga is a demon. But what I am proposing is much more sinister and manipulative than any of that. I am proposing that celebrities know exactly what they are doing when they make these ridiculous statements, they are advertising, taking advantage of google by appealing to an audience they know is insecure and gullible. 
    19 min
  • Positive Vibes, They're Magically Oblivious

    Be positive. Cheer up. Stiff upper lip. Straighten up. Calm down. Hold still! Relax!!! Right now. This instant. Don't worry. Be happy. Be active. Activate your happy feet. Actualize your every dream. See what no one else can see. Be whatever you want to be. Open up. Let go. Breathe. Rest. Be at one with the universe. Ease into your daily grind. Float above the negative energy on a cloud of roses. Drift into a kinder state of mind. Let go. Give in. Release. You are...in the moment. You have entered your happy place. You are the boss here. Be that boss. Make life your bitch. If life won't jive with your sunshine then teach life that you are in control. Take command. Man your post soldier! You're a warrior, a conqueror, a deal maker. You can do it. You know you can do it. So, get in there and give it another go. Fight another round. Try again! Go on! Quit wasting time and try! Try! Try!!! That's it. There you go. You got it. Good. Yes! Yes! Yes!!! No! No! What are you doing?! You had it! You had it that time! No excuses! You're not trying hard enough. That's all. Who care if you're exhausted? We've got some positivity to maintain here soldier! Oh, what was that? Oh, looks like we have a real funny guy here, huh? You think this is a game?! You better put that smile back on your face! Right now! Good. Great. Fantastic. Wonderful. Well done. Don't cry. Crying is for a losers, and you're a winner! Do you hear me? Crying is for the weak. Are you weak or are you centered? You better get your chi in order before I go medieval on your ass! Now breathe. Always remember to breathe. Seriously, stop crying. In and out. Out and in. In and out. Out and in. And we're breathing. We are breathing because breathing keeps us calm and being calm makes you more positive. Did you know that studies have shown that people who maintain a positive attitude are 567 times more likely to live to be 180. Seriously, I read about it somewhere. Don't ask questions. Just breathe. Questions are so negative. Children ask questions and they are such downers. Breathe. Breathe...Keep that head up. Don't be dull. You're so much better than that. I see so much in you. There's such potential there. Don't let it go to waste. Don't be boring. You have to love life, even the bad stuff. You've got to love it. You've go to be there. You've go to be present. You've got to flow. You've got to just...be, man. Don't let life make you upset. That's not the path to take, not the path that god wants you on. You can never get too upset. You've got to overcome that. You've got to be more than who you are. Don't hate. Don't hate the player, hate the game. Keep that chin up. Keep it moving. Keep working. Keep producing. You're almost there. Breathe! Slowly. That's too fast. You're not doing it right. That's why you don't feel well. You refuse to listen to instruction. You can't do that. That's self-destructive. You don't have time for all of that. You have better things to do. Think of all the responsibilities you have to live up to. You have to do something. You can't just sit there. Get up, get out and get moving before it's too late. You have to keep moving. Can't stop. Won't stop. Don't stop. Move, move, move!!! Breathe. Relax. You're so tense. You're holding tension in your jaw. Release the jaw. Let it slowly fall to the tips of your teats. Breathe. No, not that way! You're doing it wrong again. Relax. Breathe. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. In and...out. You've got this. You're doing well. You've come a long way in short period of time. I admire that about you. Keep it up and you just might get there. You just might make it. You're a go getter, a do-gooder, a pal, a friend of mine. Easy does it champ. Years from now, you'll be telling people what to do. And won't that be special? Won't that be neat? Won't that be swell? Sure, sure. Where's that smile? There it is! You have a great smile kid. People want to see that smile. Now smile wider...Wider... Wider... Wider. Breathe.

    21 min
  • The Regressive Progressives Part I: The Screw You Deal

    Once upon a time, in an America far, far away...liberal politicians had balls, big balls, the kind of balls that would make a porn star feel self conscious. They stood up for things, these ancient liberal politicians. They went up against big business. They broke the cycle of ho-hum American policy, and gave America a New Deal. Even though most of these social welfare funds ended up in the hands of whites, this massive economic stimulus drove a wave of job creation never before seen in America, and all people benefited from this massive economic stimulus. The people rejoiced, started families and went to work to create what we now refer to as the American middle class, something that had never existed before this New Deal, a class of Americans with spending money in their pockets that did not live in some swanky apartment in New York. This was new. This was innovative. This was, dare I say, ambitious. What a time it must have been to be an American. To not have to be perfect to eat was truly a radical idea at the time, but that changed. Now, many Americans are wondering if they will ever be able to reach that goal. It is quite unfortunate to see the mighty fall so low, to see the bold become so weak and docile. Today I look at the Democratic party and I wonder how they would respond to figures like Franklin D. Roosevelt or Robert Kennedy. Would they denounce them as being to radical or just brush them off their shoulders like they do with independents. It's hard to say, but I certainly do not think they would be pleased. Today's party is timid and mousy. They pay lip service to anyone who will listen to them. They make promises and then just give up on those promises as soon as the president loses a couple of points in his approval rating, and on and on it goes. These people in D.C., they like to think of themselves as "progressives". But the only thing progressive about them are their bowel movements. They have nothing to offer but empathy and a song from Hamilton. The truth is that the rampant deregulation still going on in the federal government is eroding the old New Deal, and that is pretty much the point nowadays. You forget that your politicians are owned by monopolies. Yeah, I said it, monopolies. I know mommy and daddy taught you that that is a dirty word, but it is the truth. These chuckle heads could not even help you if they really wanted to. The corporations are paying your weak ass politicians to defund the federal government, but you won't hear about that on the news because the news is sponsored by the same monopolies. They got you by the balls, as George Carlin would say. So, I don't waste time listening to other people's interpretation of whatever bill or policies that are passed because I know how fake this all is. Call me a pessimist if you like, but there is nothing pessimistic about being aware of your surroundings. Hell, some people are willing to pay some pretty goddamn good money for that. When did you fall out of touch with reality? When did you stop fighting for a piece of the American pie? Who's to say that you have to settle for this clownish style of politics? Why not stir the pot, upset the established order with some good old fashioned truth? What else do you have left? This is bigger than Democrats versus Republicans. This is about ushering in a new age of honesty in American politics. I don't pull punches on anyone. You have to deliver. No one lives forever, and so waiting is not an option. People talk a lot about patience in politics, just wait a little longer and all this nonsense. Do you know who's patient? Failures. Failures are very patient. They don't take risks. They lose in the end. You see them hovering around places like casino bars and creepy motels: out of luck, out of hope, out of tricks, out of chips, and out of their element. The Democrats consistently raise record amounts of money while failing when they actually get elected. It's not unreasonable to state a fact.  

    9 min
  • You've Got To Play The Game

    Whenever impending doom is right around the corner, the calls for peace get louder and louder. This should be expected because those who cry for peace are actually telling you that they are not strong enough for conflict. Getting bossed around by cartoonish dictators, allowing them to set the terms of world affairs is not an act of preventing war, it is an act of cowardice. Cowardice does not stabilize anything. It does the opposite, communicating to your allies that you are not strong enough to lead. When you are strong you fight back, not with guns, but with political savvy. Who knows if the leaders of the day will live up to the task? It is hard to say because the leaders of today are people pleasers, and people pleasers are absolutely worthless. America is still refusing to get serious about fighting Putin’s propaganda machine. For years they have allowed this dictator in disguise to get away with lying at every turn. And why? Are we now affording constitutional rights to foreign dictators? Do we really want to protect the right to destabilize democracy? These are the difficult questions that adequate leaders ask themselves. The nation that wins the battle has the best defense. Defense wins wars, not offense. Offense is clumsy at best, and unpredictable at its worst. There is no need for a strong nation to commit war crimes, but there is a need for that nation to respond in kind. It is also worth wondering why the United States of America went out of its way to help make the war criminals in Russia fat and rich. These sanctions would be completely unnecessary had America kept its money out of Russia. You cannot give dictators billions of dollars and then expect them to play nice. This was a critical error of the American government, and whatever happens in Ukraine will be the fault of American government. When are we going to realize that you can’t have your cake and eat it too? If you make business dealings and conditional agreements with mad men then you too will feel their wrath eventually. We must have leaders who are perceptive enough to realize this. These clowns in suits who lead America today are push overs. Flash some fast cash in their faces and they will forget all about the war crimes any dictator has committed. The American government and the American business class should not be allowed to make backroom deals with nations who are hostile to America and its allies, but these backroom deals persist in nations like Russia, China and Iran, and will persist into the future. As I watched Putin’s military shell a holocaust memorial in Ukraine, I was reminded of Hitler’s war machine, how it had been funded almost completely by greedy leaders in the United States and the UK. Like it or not, America has blood on its hands here. It becomes difficult to say that you stand with Ukraine and if you are not even willing to recognize that the carnage in Ukraine was funded by these greedy American businessmen and leaders. NATO has also proven useless in this conflict. They say they are preventing WWIII by essentially giving one of Europe’s largest nuclear facilities to Russia. I guess people with peace on their minds are willing to put the lives of billions at risk for it. Are you willing to pay that price for "peace"? Is it really peace at all? I suppose some people believe that if just one person is beating the other to death that peace has arisen between the two parties. I hear the word peaceful thrown around a lot while people die. "He looks so peaceful" onlookers say as they stand over corpses. "Finally, she's a peace" a person says after their relative has died of cancer. Peace is a dangerous concept. It makes people complicit, lazy and downright stupid. Bullies are always offering deals. They say that, if you give them your lunch money, then they will leave alone. But that never actually happens. They come back and bully you for even more money. But what happens when the lunch money is all gone? Your move. 

    19 min
  • How Religiosity and Optimism Create Poverty

    No one will ever be able to take your spirituality from you, not even you, unless you go through some sort of trauma to make you question your beliefs. I have no interest in traumatizing people. I don't care what anyone believes. But the facts are the facts, and both religiosity and optimism boil down to nothing more than fantasy. You have to be committed to a fantasy in order for it to play out right, one might even say devoted. You have to buy into it. You must suspend your disbelief. Whether or not you are ever able to get that disbelief back depends on many factors: your income level, your education, your resourcefulness, your hunger for life, etc. The willingness to disbelieve, to not accept the simple answers to life's difficult questions, creates a desire to live life to its fullest in ways that religion simply cannot offer, that optimism only makes hollow promises about. Disbelief leaves room for creation and innovation. Within a spiritual context, everything is mapped out for you in advance. There is a reason for everything in religion, even horrible things like rape, torture and poverty. In the harsher versions of religion, people are born to suffer. Suffering is the retribution of almighty, powerful god and his wrath is just, regardless of human laws or customs. In newer versions of religion that wish to sidestep this obvious problem with spirituality, we choose to punish ourselves by denying to recognize the power of the almighty, kind of like how an abusive husband abandons his child so he can sew his royal oats in the garden of a strip club. In either version it becomes simple to just say well, god willed it so, and therefore, there is nothing we can do about it. Optimism compounds this effect, causing those who are irreligious to simply dismiss those in poverty because they believe that anyone who works hard enough can "make it", even though the number of well paying jobs has decreased incrementally since the 1990s, and even though barriers to careers like pandemics and chronic illness are beyond anyone's control. Optimism causes empathy to become unnecessary because anyone who is not optimistic is now making themselves poor. The circumstances are never bad under an optimistic worldview. You always just have to look on the bright side of every awful thing. This makes rich people feel better about themselves while forcing poor people into simply accepting their "fate" or "god's will". Allowing someone to starve to death becomes much easier for people when they are wrapped in this safety blanket of "destiny". Of course there are religious reform movements that seek to take more active roles in defeating poverty, but they have been slow to really take up the task of actually housing people or at least getting them jobs that will pay for long term housing. Religiosity in other wealthy nations around the world is relatively low, averaging at about a quarter of the nation, while in America over half of the country states that religion is very important to them. This is a dire problem because it will simply allow apathy about poverty to perpetuate itself. It will also lead to the depletion of American wealth, which will further embolden nations like Russia to make irrational aggressions that upset the world order, and create avoidable destruction.  

    14 min
  • Mental Health On Demand

    The internet is often said to be a dangerous place for your mental health, but people often leave out why that is. It is not the porn or the violent imagery that could drive you absolutely bat shit crazy, but the constant stream of fake diagnoses from self proclaimed experts that can drive you mad. Everywhere you go online someone is trying to sell you something. The on demand mental health cartel currently ranking at the top of the search engines are doing you far more harm than good. By selling you products that don't work they initiate the placebo effect inside of you, making you believe that you are feeling better, while you are really getting worse. This mental health cartel is composed, for the most part, of complete amateurs who are looking to make a quick buck off of your misfortune. Social media platforms like Tiktok, Youtube, Twitter, and knowingly promote incorrect factoids about mental health all the live long day. One of the ways they do this is by stating that if you have certain symptoms then you also are suffering from a chronic mental illness that your family, friends and doctors have never noticed. They imply that, if you have certain character traits, then you are crazy, and that you need to do something about it urgently. But who benefits from such random and seemingly superfluous diagnoses. There are two main benefactors. Of course Big Pharma is playing a role, and in a bigger way than many realize. But there is also what I like to call Big Quackery: chumps like Joseph Mercola or Ray Peat who offer "alternative healing" methods. Though there is indeed a ban on the promotion of prescription drugs, there is no ban whatsoever on promoting over the counter drugs or herbal supplements some yahoo just yanked out of their backyard and melted into a pill or vile. On social media, Big Pharma has found a way around that ban. How? Legalese. Most of you do not read the terms and service agreement of your favorite social media platforms, and corporate goons are well aware of this. Check out this little doozy that I found in the fine print: "...Pharma companies are, however, allowed to share information impartially on social media, so long as they comply with the code." Now, riddle me this Batman. How on earth are companies worth billions of dollars supposed to promote anything impartially? They can't! That is an impossibility. These big companies are always trying to make money. A sales representative who works for a major medical corporation cannot even take a dump without trying to sell depends to the person in the next stall. But don't take my word for it; hear the awful truth from the internet marketers themselves: “We recently worked with a large pharmaceutical company on a social listening program,” says Page. “In developing a new drug and therefore a new therapeutic pathway, the company realised that by understanding patients’ experience of a condition, they could then use that information to close the gap between their own medical affairs team, marketing, the healthcare professionals they were targeting and the patients as the end user. The upshot, he says, is that the drug company will be able to go beyond their own science, and offer the patient meaningful real-world clinical benefits." Hey kids, I have a question for you, what is beyond science when it comes to your mental health? Come on, I know you know it. It starts with a B and ends with a T. That's right, bullshit! Great job little ones. I knew you could do it. But don't just blame big Pharma, the alternative healers are even more prevalent and efficient at using this technique. "In 2014, Seattle Seahawks quarterback Russell Wilson took a hard hit to the head during a conference championship game against the Green Bay Packers. The following day, however, Wilson had no serious head injury." (Quartz) He attributed the success of his rapid recovery to a supplemental water concoction. Buyer beware.    

    16 min
  • Open Mind or Open Behind?

    Hey, I have a proposition for you. What if? That's it. That's all. It can't get any simpler than that. What if? What if things had happened differently? What if you had been smarter, wiser, prettier, healthier, sweeter, nicer, kinder, higher, more...successful? What if? What if you had the goods? The stuff? The know how? You know what I mean? What if you had been just a little better, just a litter taller, just a little bit more than what was expected? What if you had been there? What if you had done that differently? Would things be any better? Would they really? Now, take it one step further. What if I could give it to you? What if I could give you everything you always wanted? Well, I can. That's right. You can get everything. All you have to do is keep an open mind. You see everything is everywhere. You're just not seeing it there. But it's there, everything you want, and I can show it to you. I can give you eyes to see. You see, it could be anything: money, power, fame, luck, respect, empathy. You could have it all because it's all right there staring you in the face. It's yours now. Keep it. No cost to you. Consider it a gift. You see, if you have an open mind then you're already rich. You're already powerful. You're already the most attractive person you know. Just keep an open mind, and you'll see it. Others may not, but that is because those people are close minded. But don't worry. They can't stop you from being who want to be anymore. And besides, they're just haters anyway. It doesn't matter what that say. All that matters is what you need. Is it starting to make sense yet? You see, life is perception and you have the power to change your perception any time you like. You don't need pills or costly therapies for that. Only you choose how you see yourself. The problem is that you are obsessed with the ways others see you. You need them to tell you you are the best. You crave adoration, not accomplishment, and that gets in your way. That's why you always have to make it clear to yourself that you are all that really matters. You take care of yourself first then worry about others later. That is the way to happiness. Or maybe it's not. Maybe that is just your selfishness manifesting itself. Maybe all of this self care stuff is a bit vain. Perhaps we're so obsessed with our own well being that we fail to see those suffering around us. But, oh wait, you don't care much for suffering. Let's change the subject. Let's talk more about how wonderful and unique you are. I know you love that right? Being told how smart you already are, how kind you already are, how perfect you already are. Scratch that. No one's perfect, but you come pretty close. That sounds a bit more genuine. Right? Right? Right? You tell me. You tell me what you like to hear. You control everything after all. Go on, end this little story with a guest appearance by Shrek or Kayne West or whatever the hell you like this moment. Wait, wait, wait. I have it. I finally have what you need. I promise this time. Here it is. A toilet. Why? Because you need to take everything I just said, chuck in the porcilean merry go round and give a nice sturdy flush. Your perception is meaningless. It does not alter reality in any way. You just don't see it well enough. That does not mean it is not constant. That does not mean that reality is malleable. Certain things just are. They can't be changed. The sun causes cancer. San Francisco is sinking. Gender reveal parties are a more boring version of ancient fertility rituals. We can't change some things. That makes a lot of people uncomfortable. It makes them uncomfortable because they are biologically programed to survive. Some say this is a bad thing, but it is not. You should never keep an open mind because it makes you lazy. It makes you complicit. It teaches you that gangsters are respectable individuals. Your open mind leads to consequences. It leads to war. Now kindly flush the toilet. It stinks in here.  

    14 min
  • Baby, Buy, Buy, Buy!

    Buy! Buy today! If you can't buy now, buy later. Download the app so that you can buy when you're working, when you're relaxing, when you're exercising, when you're being lazy, when you're anxious, when you're calm, when you're mellow, when you're out of sight, when you're up, when you're down, when you're feeling blue, and when you're feeling screwed there's only one thing you need to do. Buy baby! Just buy, buy, buy. Shop till you drop. Shop till you can't stop. Take out that credit card. If you don't have one, you surely can get one. Step right up and have a seat. Sit on down and rest your feet. The customer is always sweet, always right, always nice, and certainly the last you'll ever beat. Have I ever told you how good you would look in that dress? Those jewels? This three story suite. Come on over and take a peek. You know you want it. You know you need it. You got to have it. You know we mean. So come on by. Take a gander and let if fly. Let it go. Treat yourself. Have a bite. Don't be shy. Give it a try. It's better than good at prices you just can't beat. What are waiting for? Try today. Subscribe. Enjoy. Delight yourself. Surprise yourself. Take a chance on me. You can do it. I know you can. Trust yourself. Have you lost weight? You look great. Are you in movies? I love the way you speak. Need a car? Need a home? Don't have credit? How about a loan? I'll need that back in forty weeks. Wait, don't go. Don't be rude. Don't be crass. Don't be a downer. Live a little. Grab life by the ass! You heard me chief. You're a star. You're the best. You're different from the rest. So have some faith and take a leap. Don't take a leak or you'll be up shit's creek! Ha, ha, ha! Seriously, what do you need? I got it all. Everything you'll ever need. Feeling low? Feeling slow? Feeling eighteen stories down below? Don't you worry. Don't you weep. I have just the pills you need, fact and science free. Take some ginseng. Take some ginger. Take some Visine in your sphincter. Don't like rules and regulations? How about some fascinating allegations? How about some relieving procrastinations? How about some right wing accusations? How about you lose your sense of self? How about you act like everybody else? Or you could be unique! Whatever you want. What you like. Whatever thought's in your little mind. Hear me out. Hear me speak. Hear my pitch and please don't bitch because it's my right to watch you sink. And it's your choice. And it's your voice. You are the one. You are a king. You are a queen. So it's your fault when you default. It's your decision to go into remission. It's your progression when you're in recession. It's your problem and we'll solve them for fifteen dollars a week. Only fifteen dollars a week! What a deal. What a steal. So much money, so little time. So many wallets that will all be mine. So many families, so many lives destroyed, distraught and downsized. But it's better than it seems. It's a wonderful world. It's a beautiful day. What a beautiful girl. But what did she say? I'm paying attention. I'm hearing you out. You sound better than you think. You should be a singer. You should be an actor. You should pursue your dreams. But there's a long list of things you'll need. I'm here to help. I'm here to create wealth. I will make you the me you want to be. I will help you be the person you hate the most. Let's have a toast! This is the first day of the rest of your life. Let's start it off with a bang, with boom, with a pow, with a zoom. You're the champ. You're the greatest. You own it all and you have the latest. Good for you. You did it bud. You made it to the big time, the big show, the grand hotel. Well done. Bravo. Come on in anytime and we'll treat you the way you deserve to be treated. That's right, you deserve everything you've ever needed. So come and get it. Don't be defeated. Spend, spend, spend. Buy, buy, buy baby! Buy, buy, buy! Oh and if you ever end up jail we'll be here to front your bail. 

    16 min
  • The Benefits of Pornography

    America, along with most other "civilized" nations of the world, has a long, rich and bountiful history of turning people off sexually. Indeed, our earliest ancestors, when not stealing land from brown people, busied themselves discouraging boners and encouraging chronic vaginal dryness. Though there has been a large attempt to revise the very real American history of sexual hesitancy, the documents of the puritans speak for themselves. Jason Dikes, Adjunct Associate Professor of History at Austin Community College, maps this out beautifully in Massachusetts Sex Ways, "Their (the puritans) criminal codes made adultery a capital crime, and at least three people were actually hanged for it in the Puritan colonies." Remember that the next time some Christian apologist tries to lecture you on how much more civilized and polite than puritans were than modern folk. "When cases of adultery occurred, it was not uncommon for entire communities to band together and punish the transgressors. In the town of Ipswich, Massachusetts, for example, a married woman named Sarah Roe had an affair with a neighbor named Joseph Leigh while her mariner-husband was away at sea...no fewer than thirty-five Ipswich neighbors went to court against them and gave testimony that communicated a deep sense of moral outrage...the erring couple were found guilty of “unlawful familiarity” and severely punished. Joseph Leigh was ordered to be heavily whipped and fined five pounds, and Sarah Roe was sent to the House of Correction for a month, with orders that she was to appear in Ipswich meetinghouse on lecture day bearing a sign, “For My baudish Carriage,” written in “fair capital letters.” In this case as in so many others, the moral code of Puritan Massachusetts was not imposed by a small elite upon an unwilling people; it rose from customs and beliefs that were broadly shared throughout the Puritan colonies." Yet again, we see this idea of a few bad apple spoiling the whole bunch being incorrect and misleading. Religion's hatred of sexual experimentation seems a whole lot less threatening when it is just a few spoil sports, but that is rarely ever the case. What happens far more often is that the vast majority of society goes on a rabid hunt for sexual purity every time it feels the need to do so. Such is the case with today's witch hunters, whether it be the ones in Texas who are currently investigating the parents of transgender children, or the ones in California currently jailing women for being on drugs while pregnant. This is all an expression of America's deep discomfort with all that is sexual. Even today, the common stereotype of those who view pornographic images or who express themselves sexually is that they are somehow less moral than those who do not. Of course no one takes the time to explore these topics further, but simply adopts the popular puritanical opinion on the matter. The problem is that mounting evidence is disproving that are any real ills associated with pornography in particular. Conservatives have claimed that pornography decreases a man interest in family life, for example, but several studies have shown that to be a lie. Pornography has been demonstrated to actually make men more intimate with their partners and seems to make family life more desirable for men as well. Sex crimes also decrease when porn is made readily available. This has been attributed to a kind of cooling effect that porn has on human desire, causing one to experience the pleasure of a specific taboo act without actually having to engage in it. Rape and pedophilia have seen dramatic drops in frequency since the 1970s, for example. As you know, the sexual revolution occurred in the sixties. The takeaway here is not that porn cures everything, but that it seems to make sexual desire less of a problem, and more of a personality trait. But your noisy pastors will never accept this because it is contrary to their religious upbringing.   

    26 min

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At times we are hilarious. Sometimes we are outlandish, others provocative, but always informative. More Content Talk dares to peel back the veneer of proper manners, and bring the news to you…