On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:

3. You can spit the mouthwash back into the bottle.

2. Calling the cops for dog poop.

1. The rise and fall of Bossa Nova.

On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:

3. She was actually trying to run down someone else..

2. If you're not cursing while driving - you're not paying enough attention to the road..

1. I've never heard of you.

On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:

3. Safe from the pharoah's curse.

2. I should be working in a bar.

1. I'm mad, I'm going to burn something.

On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:

3. Right next door to the DJ Academy.

2. You're coming in a loader.

1. You don't want monkeys tag-teaming on your drawers.

On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:

3. A spring-loaded toilet paper dispenser.

2. Constipation on the other side of the world.

1. 500 rounds of ammunition and a partridge in a pear tree.

On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:

3. The way to a woman's heart is through anonymous, processed meat.

2. Tom is dead.

1. Stands there and whacks it for hours

On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:

3. Running down the hallway with a piece of paper on fire.

2. Policing is sometimes a dirty job, but someone’s got to ‘doo-doo’ it.

1. Gold medal sneezing.

On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:

3. Do you know you have a boxing glove attached to your hand?

2. Don't do other dog things on the turf.

1. A prostate gland warmer.

On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:

3. It's a dog problem - not a COVID problem.

2. Dressing up like a girl scout - in jail.

1. There's a thong sale at Penney's.

On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:

3. Betsy Ross was not one of the Supremes.

2. Identify my friends by the sound of their farts.

1. we're keeping your nose as evidence.