Mothering Ourselves Mindfully

In this special episode, I'm joined by my dear friend Rebecca Howard Eudy, a couples and sex therapist, for an honest conversation about one of the topics parents struggle with most: sex and desire in long-term relationships. We recorded our usual walking conversation to talk about the questions that came up in our community - from "what's normal?" to navigating different levels of desire, and why connection outside the bedroom matters just as much as what happens inside it.

What's "Normal" Anyway?

• Why comparing your sex life to others is both tempting and unhelpful
• The truth: frequency matters less than how both partners feel about it
• The single biggest issue that brings couples to sex therapy: difference in desire
• Understanding spontaneous desire vs. responsive desire
• Why cultural stereotypes about sex drive create additional pain

The High Desire/Low Desire Dynamic

• How testosterone influences spontaneous desire (typically higher in men)
• Why responsive desire means needing to feel aroused before feeling desire
• The reality that desire levels can flip and change cyclically
• What happens when both partners have low desire
• How resentment builds when there's a mismatch in initiation

The Mental Load of Sex

• Moving beyond "what's wrong with me?" and "did I marry the wrong person?"
• Why obligation sex is deeply unsatisfying for both partners
• How sex becomes a "hot button issue" that couples can't even discuss
• Understanding that frequency doesn't tell the whole story
• The panic spiral: counting days and feeling the pressure build

Communication Is Foreplay

• Why the low desire partner often avoids initiating any physical contact
• The problem with waiting for your partner to initiate what you want
• How to be clear about desires: "I want to cuddle tonight, just cuddle"
• Why attunement to your partner's needs builds connection
• The importance of both partners being allowed to ask for what they want

Outside the Bedroom Matters

• How emotional presence and connection throughout the day impacts desire
• Why acts of service can be genuine foreplay
• The need for effort and attunement, not just one-off gestures
• Understanding that it's not the high desire partner's job alone to create the right environment
• How being on the same team translates to better intimacy

Cyclical Desire and Power Struggles

• Recognizing how menstrual cycles affect desire levels
• What happens when desire suddenly flips: "Now you want it?"
• How resentment can create complicated dynamics around initiation
• The importance of flexibility and meeting each other where you are

The Sensate Focus Approach

• Taking typical intercourse off the table to unlock authentic desire
• Why prohibition often leads to "cheating" (which means it's working!)
• How the lower desire partner experiences relief when pressure is removed
• Discovering what you actually want when the formula is disrupted
• The connection between expressing needs outside vs. inside the bedroom

Owning Your Own Desire

• The challenge many women face in knowing what they want
• Understanding you're not just a vessel for your partner's desire
• Getting clear on what actually turns you on or creates connection
• Why knowing what you don't want is actually valuable information
• The work of stepping into ownership rather than just being responsive

The Vulnerability Factor

• Why shame is one of the biggest blocks to healthy sexuality
• How sex unlocks vulnerability for both partners
• The importance of showing up authentically, even when it's hard
• What happens when one partner shows up beautifully but the other can't meet them there
• Building tolerance for the cycle of connection and disconnection

"What actually matters is how everybody in the relationship feels about the frequency."

"The worst thing that we want is the thing that would be really scary is that our partners wouldn't want to be with us anymore."

"You are avoiding initiating what you want because it doesn't feel like you're going to be able to get what you want."

"The low desire partner never gets to ask for what they want."

"When we say what we want and someone hears us and respects that, it fills a connection piece."

"Skills don't always translate. I can do it for couples because you can see so clearly what's happening with somebody else. But when it comes to your own relationship... I don't particularly enjoy being vulnerable."

"Beginning from a place of curiosity... take the best possible interpretation."

"The more defensive you are, the less you have your own back."

• Parents in Love by Rebecca Howard Eudy - Available for pre-order, releases October 2025: https://a.co/d/2FBxhC2 
• Rebecca's website: http://rebeccaeudy.com/
• Rebecca’s Instagram, @rebeccahowardeudy: https://www.instagram.com/rebeccahowardeudy/ 
• Rebecca’s Substack, @parentsinlove: https://substack.com/@parentsinlove 
• The importance of couples therapy (both Sarah and Rebecca are advocates!)

Start by getting curious about your own desire - not just sexual desire, but what you actually want in moments of physical connection. Are you avoiding initiating because you're afraid you won't get what you want? Have an honest conversation with your partner about what connection means to you, both in and out of the bedroom. Remember: there's nothing wrong with you, and you're not alone in navigating these challenges. Every couple faces misattunements and misunderstandings - the key is approaching them with curiosity rather than defensiveness.

Thank you for tuning in to this episode of "Mothering Ourselves Mindfully." We look forward to sharing more insights and inspiration in the upcoming episodes!

www.theschoolofmom.com

Instagram @the.schoolofmom

Book a breakthrough Call

In this episode, I share a recent reflection from my book-writing journey about the most common limiting belief we face as mothers: "I don't have time for that." After writing over 70,000 words by making time in the cracks of daily life, I've learned that time scarcity is often a story we tell ourselves rather than an absolute truth. This episode challenges you to examine what matters most to you and whether you're actually making time for it.

Key Points

The Time Scarcity Trap

• Why "I don't have time" is probably the biggest belief we carry as mothers
• Understanding that we had more spontaneity and ease before becoming moms
• How unconscious programming around how we "should" spend our time takes over
• Recognizing that self-care is usually the first thing to go when life gets chaotic

Making Time vs. Having Time

• The hard truth: It's not that you don't have time, it's that you're not making time for it
• How the book-writing process revealed this pattern in real-time
• Writing 73,000 words in the cracks: 15-minute sessions and longer chunks when possible
• Learning to trust the process rather than forcing productivity

Auditing Your Priorities

• Examining the hierarchy: kids, work, self-care, relationships
• Asking yourself if there's congruence between what matters and where your time goes
• Understanding that you don't need to spend all open hours with your children
• Sometimes having childcare just to go for a walk is enough

The Silent Retreat Example

• Going offline for a full week as a mom: the ultimate "I don't have time" scenario
• How people say "that sounds great, but I could never make that work"
• The truth: I don't have time for it either, but I make it a priority
• Quality of presence after time away is infinitely more impactful than constant physical presence

Reframing the Narrative

• Moving from "I don't have time" to "I'm not making time" changes everything
• Avoiding extreme examples to feed into time scarcity beliefs
• Getting out of all-or-nothing thinking: Can you do this in short chunks?
• Asking yourself: If I was going to make time for it right now, what would that look like?

Your Legacy Project

• Deciding what your personal version of "the book" is
• What lights you up or feels like a deep desire?
• Why are you letting everyone else's needs take priority over this?
• Understanding that no one will hand you extra hours on a golden platter

Integration Practices

• Curiously and compassionately ask yourself: Is this true? Do I not have time or am I just not making time?
• Identify what you're saying yes to that could become a no
• Notice where time scarcity shows up in your body
• Mother that scarcity belief with curiosity, compassion, and discernment
• Make a choice to actually make time for what matters to you

Quotes

"It is not that you don't have time for it, it is that you are not making time for it."

"It is the time for me to make this a priority in my life because no one is gonna hand over on a golden platter these extra hours."

"The quality of presence with my kids, because of that time away, is infinitely more impactful than not going."

"Challenge this scarcity belief in you. Tune into where you feel it in your body. Mother it in yourself."

Resources Mentioned

• The School of Mom community: https://theschoolofmom.com/
• Mothering Ourselves First Reset: https://www.motheringourselvesmindfully.com/spaces/21046517/about

What's Coming Next

Identify one thing you've been telling yourself you don't have time for. Get honest about whether it's truly a time issue or a priority issue. Then ask yourself: If I was going to make time for this thing that matters to me, what would that look like? Remember, you don't need perfect conditions or endless hours. You just need to decide it matters enough to rearrange your priorities and make some hard choices.

Thank you for tuning in to this episode of "Mothering Ourselves Mindfully." We look forward to sharing more insights and inspiration in the upcoming episodes!

www.theschoolofmom.com

Instagram @the.schoolofmom

Book a breakthrough Call

In this episode, I recap a few wisdom nuggets from a recent Peloton class that perfectly align with the School of Mom philosophy. From exploring the three most powerful words in the English language to understanding how your energy speaks before you enter a room, this episode offers transformative insights on self-love, nervous system regulation, and rewriting the stories we want our children to tell about us.

The Three Most Powerful Words

• Why "I love myself" are the three most powerful words in the English language
• Understanding the difference between saying these words and truly embodying them
• How most women struggle with self-criticism and self-hate instead of genuine self-love
• The challenge of receiving compassion versus easily giving it to others
• Working through the protective parts that resist self-love and self-compassion

Your Energy Speaks First

• How to be the woman whose energy speaks before she enters the room
• Understanding that 55% of communication is body language, with words being the smallest percentage
• The concept of limbic resonance and how we catch each other's energy
• Examining what your body unconsciously communicates when you walk into a room
• The story of Thich Nhat Hanh commanding presence without words in Boston's Copley Square

Programming for Flourishing

• Recognizing that you're programmed for both survival and flourishing
• Understanding why survival programming is stronger and more automatic
• How the neural pathways we travel most become the most pronounced
• Learning to tap into your inherent programming for thriving and presence
• Working consciously to strengthen flourishing pathways over survival patterns

The Legacy Question

• Asking yourself: "What story are they going to tell about you?"
• Understanding that you get to write this story through your daily choices
• Moving beyond victimhood narratives to ones of empowerment and growth
• How your story influences generations of people around you
• The ripple effect of embodying self-love in coffee shops, with colleagues, and in community

Breaking Generational Patterns

• Rewriting programming around doubt and self-worth in family lineages
• Choosing to prioritize self-care unapologetically as a model for children
• Understanding that your impact is a direct reflection of how you spend time with yourself
• Moving from survival-mode parenting to conscious, present mothering

Done Apologizing

• We're done apologizing for taking up space and playing small
• Understanding the programming that makes us shrink when we enter rooms
• Rewriting narratives around our worthiness to be seen and heard
• The goal of being like "Shavasana" for people - communicating presence, compassion, and confidence

• Examining your relationship with the words "I love myself" and what comes up
• Noticing what your body language communicates before you speak
• Identifying the people in your life who support your flourishing versus survival programming
• Considering what story you want your loved ones to tell about you
• Practicing presence and self-worth as gifts to your community

"The three most powerful words in the English language are, I love myself."

"Be the woman whose energy speaks before she enters the room."

"You're programmed for flourishing. You are. You just need to learn how to actually tap into that program."

"What story are they going to tell about you? You get to write it."

"We're done apologizing for taking up space, we're done playing small."

• Robin Arzon Peloton class from 2020 (challenging 20-minute ride): https://members.onepeloton.com/classes/cycling?utm_source=ios_app&utm_medium=in_app&modal=classDetailsModal&classId=bb87ae4e531342bdbc915e30a63972c3&code=OTE5OGNmZTAyMDkwNDc1NWJjY2EyZWI2YzFmOGJlY2N8NzQyOGJhYjMzODA0NDJlNDhhZWVmNDQwMTIyNDdlYmU%3D&locale=en-US 
• The School of Mom community: https://theschoolofmom.com/  
• Mothering Ourselves First Reset: https://www.motheringourselvesmindfully.com/spaces/21046517/about 

Challenge yourself to embody the three most powerful words: "I love myself." Notice what your energy communicates before you enter rooms, and begin consciously writing the story you want others to tell about you. Remember that you're programmed for flourishing - it's time to strengthen those neural pathways and step into the fullness of who you're meant to be.

In this thought-provoking episode, we examine two well-used self-care phrases that might actually be working against us as mothers. From questioning the limitations of "filling your own cup" to challenging the crisis-based "put your oxygen mask on first" mentality, this episode offers a fresh perspective on maternal self-care through the powerful metaphor of being like a tree - unapologetically taking in nourishment to better serve your entire ecosystem.

Key Points

• Why the "fill your own cup" metaphor is too restrictive and prescriptive for mothers who need unlimited nourishment
• The problems with the oxygen mask analogy and why it assumes we're living in constant crisis mode
• How maternal biology and protective instincts clash with rational self-care advice
• Understanding the difference between actual emergencies and perceived crises in daily motherhood
• Why we need to get out of survival mode to access the discernment needed for true self-care
• The importance of tending to our nervous systems to stop living in constant activated states

The Tree Metaphor: A Better Way Forward

• How trees unapologetically take in everything they need - sunlight, water, nutrients - without guilt or limitation
• Understanding that a thriving tree naturally creates oxygen, shelter, and nourishment for its entire ecosystem
• Rejecting the zero-sum game mentality that pits your wellbeing against your family's
• Recognizing that your health becomes your community's health when you're truly nourished
• Embracing the interconnected web of life where receiving and giving flow naturally

Getting to Know Your Inner Selves

• Why we need to understand the parts of ourselves that live in survival states
• The four dominant parts: inner anxiety, the over-planner/perfectionist, inner shame/critic, and the shut-down negative part
• How these survival-mode selves drive our decisions and keep us stuck in patterns of self-neglect
• The process of learning to mother these inner parts with curious, kind, and loving attention

Moving Beyond Survival Mode

• How to distinguish between actual crises and everyday challenges that feel overwhelming
• The importance of slowing down to see how survival patterns keep us ignoring our needs
• Why we need conscious pauses to begin rewiring automatic responses
• Creating space away from triggering circumstances to unwind and calm the nervous system

Integration Practices

• Taking the quiz at https://theschoolofmom.com/quiz to identify your dominant inner parts
• Considering retreat experiences for deeper nervous system regulation work
• Practicing the tree mindset: receiving nourishment without guilt while naturally giving to others
• Questioning why self-care advice isn't working and looking at root causes rather than symptoms

Quotes

"Fuck filling your own cup. You're not an inert plastic object. Put away the cup and think of yourself more like a tree instead."

"If I was up in a plane that was going down, I would not put my own oxygen mask on first. I wouldn't."

"We need to be the cyclical beings of nature that we are as women."

Resources Mentioned

• Quiz to identify inner parts: https://theschoolofmom.com/quiz 
• Nourish retreats: https://theschoolofmom.com/nourish 
• Simone Grace Seol's email inspiration: https://blog.simonegraceseol.com/inspiration-category/ 

What's Coming Next

Challenge yourself to question the self-care advice that isn't working for you and explore what it means to be like a tree - taking in unlimited nourishment so you can naturally give back to your entire ecosystem without depletion or resentment.

Thank you for tuning in to this episode of "Mothering Ourselves Mindfully." We look forward to sharing more insights and inspiration in the upcoming episodes!

www.theschoolofmom.com

Instagram @the.schoolofmom

Book a breakthrough Call

 In this episode, I talk about why the line self-care is selfish fires me up and why NOT taking care of yourself is what’s actually selfish. I talk about why women need space to process through our natural cycles, and how the fruits of consistent self-mothering work create profound shifts in our capacity for presence and joy.

Key Points

• Why healing and somatic work takes time to integrate - our bodies are nature and change happens in seasons, not overnight
• The difference between male and female hormonal cycles and why women need longer to process and integrate change
• How years of "pulling weeds" and tending to our inner soil eventually creates beautiful blooms of presence and capacity
• Why the common thread in joyful summer moments was nature and time away from children
• The importance of being intentional about what we pay attention to through all our senses
• Why community accountability is essential - we're not meant to figure this out alone

The Integration Journey

• Understanding that a male hormonal cycle is 24 hours while a female cycle is 28 days - we have only 12 cycles per year
• How the garden analogy applies: we plant seeds, tend the soil of our nervous system, and eventually see growth
• Why expecting instant results goes against our cyclical nature as women
• The difference between having great moments with our kids and needing intentional time away from them

Mothering Ourselves First: The 10-Day Reset

• Why putting ourselves at the top of our priority list benefits everyone
• How 10 minutes a day can create an upward spiral of positive choices
• Three reasons why this timing is perfect: fresh start energy of fall, disrupted summer routines, and current world heaviness
• The power of community support in maintaining consistent self-care practices

Nervous System and Current Events

• How traumatic news can put us into freeze/shutdown mode after prolonged anxiety
• Why we can't help anyone - including our children - when we're in survival mode
• The conscious practices needed to drop our shoulders, release our jaw, and exhale deeply
• Understanding that self-care is actually the opposite of selfish

Quotes

"Not taking care of yourself is what's selfish."

"A male hormonal cycle is 24 hours. A female hormonal cycle is 28-ish days, and we have 12 of them in a year."

"The seeds that I planted many years ago... didn't grow overnight. I had to plant them and really tend to the soil and nurture them and take care of them, and now they're growing."

"If you really want to be an instrument of change, a compassionate presence for those that you love and those that you wanna help, then you must take care of yourself."

Resources Mentioned

• Mothering Ourselves First 10-Day Reset: https://theschoolofmom.com/reset 
• School of Mom community: https://theschoolofmom.com/ 
• Poem by Emory Hall (referenced but not quoted in full)
• Trevor Hall concert experience

What's Coming Next

Join the 10-day reset to experience how community accountability and just 10 minutes a day of intentional self-mothering can interrupt negative patterns and create an upward spiral of wellbeing - because taking care of yourself is the most unselfish thing you can do.

Thank you for tuning in to this episode of "Mothering Ourselves Mindfully." We look forward to sharing more insights and inspiration in the upcoming episodes!

www.theschoolofmom.com

Instagram @the.schoolofmom

Book a breakthrough Call

In this episode, we tackle one of the most misunderstood experiences for mothers: struggling to feel grateful when you think you "should." If you've ever battled shame because you can't access gratitude for your kids, your partner, or your life circumstances, this episode will completely shift your perspective. We explore why gratitude isn't a moral failing when it's absent - it's actually a nervous system indicator that you need support and care.

Key Points

• Why gratitude requires a specific nervous system state (ventral vagal) to flow naturally
• The difference between forced gratitude and genuine appreciation that comes from regulation
• How "should" thoughts around gratitude indicate judgment and disconnection from your body
• Why struggling to feel grateful has nothing to do with your character or worthiness as a mother
• The biology behind why some emotions (including gratitude) aren't accessible on command
• Understanding gratitude as a natural byproduct of feeling safe and regulated, not a discipline to master

The Gratitude Trap

• How mothers often shame themselves for not feeling grateful despite wanting their children or having "good" lives
• Why comparing your struggles to others ("I should be grateful because my friend is divorced") blocks authentic feeling
• The judgment cycle: not feeling grateful → self-criticism → further disconnection from gratitude
• Recognizing when gratitude practices become another item on your "good mother" checklist rather than genuine connection

Alternative Pathways to Appreciation

• Using "appreciation" as a more accessible entry point when gratitude feels forced
• The "what do I have right now that I want" practice for difficult moments
• How regulation and nervous system support naturally lead to gratitude without effort
• The difference between gratitude that comes from loss/recovery versus gratitude from a regulated state

Real-Life Integration

• Seeing inability to access gratitude as an "awareness bell" that you need support, not judgment
• Moving from survival states that block gratitude to regulated states that allow it to flow
• How dedicated self-care and nervous system tending naturally increase grateful moments
• The experience of spontaneous gratitude is a sign that your inner work is creating lasting change

Nervous System Connection

• Understanding why overstressed, overstimulated states don't support grateful feelings
• The importance of "off-ramps" from dysregulation before expecting positive emotions
• How retreats and extended self-care practices strengthen your "gratitude muscle tone"
• Why forcing gratitude when dysregulated can increase shame and disconnection

Quick Reframe Practices

• When gratitude feels inaccessible, ask: "What support does my nervous system need right now?"
• Replace "I should be grateful" with "I'm human and my feelings make sense"
• Notice what you appreciate rather than forcing what you're grateful for
• Use gratitude resistance as information about your current regulation state

Quotes "If you are struggling to feel grateful and you don't feel grateful in a moment in time, there's nothing wrong with you" "Not feeling grateful has nothing to do with your character... and everything to do with what's happening in your biology right now" "When you feel resistant or when gratitude isn't accessible, that is your little awareness bell that you need some support"

Resources Mentioned

• NOURISH retreat - extended nervous system support and regulation practice: https://theschoolofmom.com/nourish 
• Movement and grounding practices as on-ramps to regulation: https://www.motheringourselvesmindfully.com/posts/flourish-dr-lydiana-garcia-self-regulation-strategies-for-moms
• Nervous system tending and mindful self-mothering work: https://www.motheringourselvesmindfully.com/posts/flourish-%F0%9F%8C%BF-tending-to-your-soil-roots-weeds-nervous-system-mother-wound-attachment and https://www.motheringourselvesmindfully.com/posts/flourish-%F0%9F%92%90-the-flourished-mother-%F0%9F%92%90 

What's Coming Next Continue exploring how to recognize your body's signals and respond with support rather than judgment, creating the conditions where positive emotions like gratitude can naturally emerge.

Thank you for tuning in to this episode of "Mothering Ourselves Mindfully." We look forward to sharing more insights and inspiration in the upcoming episodes!

www.theschoolofmom.com

Instagram @the.schoolofmom

Book a breakthrough Call

In this timely episode, we explore that restless, activated energy so many of us feel during the transition from summer to fall - that "summer pause" between camp ending and school starting. If you've been feeling buzzy, anxious, or ready to "bust it" as routines dissolve into endless snacks and unwanted lemonades, this episode validates exactly where you are and offers a powerful solution: a 10-day community reset focused on mothering ourselves first.

Key Points

• Why the end of summer leaves so many mothers feeling depleted and activated rather than refreshed
• The connection between cyclical living and seasonal transitions - how late summer mirrors the luteal phase energy
• Understanding why your body temperature and energy naturally rise during this time, creating that "ready to explode" feeling
• How lack of routine affects our nervous system and why structure actually supports our self-care practices
• The difference between anxiety-driven "productivity" and truly nourishing self-care practices
• Why 10 minutes a day of intentional practice can create profound shifts in how we mother ourselves

The Cyclical Living Connection

• How the four stages of the menstrual cycle mirror the four seasons, with late summer correlating to the luteal phase
• Why the luteal stage has two parts: the energizing "buzzy" beginning and the building heat that needs release
• Understanding this natural temperature rise in your body and energy as normal, not something to fix
• How this seasonal/cyclical awareness helps us anticipate and work with our natural rhythms rather than against them

The 10-Day Reset: Mothering Ourselves First

• What it means to prioritize 10 minutes daily for practices that truly nourish rather than just organize or accomplish
• Examples of nourishing practices: phone-free walks, yoga nidra, therapy ball rolling, meditation, gentle movement
• How community accountability makes us more likely to maintain consistent self-care practices
• The difference between "begin" and "begin again" moments - both are equally valid starting points

Integration Practices

• Identifying what truly nourishes you versus what your inner planner or anxiety wants you to do
• Creating intentional practices that connect you to joy, pleasure, ease, and rest
• Using seasonal transitions as natural reset points for establishing or returning to supportive routines
• Building structure that supports rather than restricts your self-care

Quotes "It's not make time for yourself and go organize a drawer, right? It's not letting your inner planner or your anxiety drive the bus."

"This is why I am announcing right now that we are going to do collectively in our community a 10 day reset. It's called mothering ourselves first."

Resources Mentioned

• Mothering Ourselves First 10-Day Reset: https://www.theschoolofmom.com/reset
• School of Mom community for ongoing support: https://theschoolofmom.com/
• Yoga therapy balls as a favorite nourishing tool

What's Coming Next Join the community reset starting September 14th and discover how 10 minutes a day of intentional self-mothering can transform your relationship with routine, self-care, and the natural rhythms of your body and the seasons.

Thank you for tuning in to this episode of "Mothering Ourselves Mindfully." We look forward to sharing more insights and inspiration in the upcoming episodes!

www.theschoolofmom.com

Instagram @the.schoolofmom

Book a breakthrough Call

In this episode, we're shifting the conversation away from the typical "mental load" discussion to what's really happening beneath the surface. If you've been feeling overwhelmed by all the things you're managing and thinking that better systems or planners will solve it, this episode will change how you understand what you're actually carrying.

Key Points

• Why the term "mental load" is actually inaccurate - it's really a "brain body load" that encompasses mental, physical, and emotional components
• The difference between cognitive/managerial tasks (which research shows have positive associations) and emotional load (which is toxic and weighs us down)
• How every simple task carries an emotional component that creates the real heaviness you feel
• Understanding that you don't have a mental load problem - you have an emotional load problem
• The visual metaphor of carrying too much physically and why your body will eventually give out
• Why planners, systems, and delegation won't solve the deeper issue if you're carrying unprocessed emotions
• How emotional load impacts everything from your capacity for joy to your desire for intimacy
• The importance of making the invisible emotional programming visible and doing the inner work

Quotes "You don't have a mental load problem. You have an emotional load problem."

"There's no such thing as just mental. Mental is emotional, is physical. There's no separation."

"What seems like a small mental, cognitive managerial task often can carry a huge emotional load."

"The more we call it the mental load, the less we actually understand it, and that means the less access we have to helping ourselves relieve this load."

Resources Mentioned

• "Why Smart, Self-Aware Moms Stay Stuck" PDF: https://theschoolofmom.com/smart 
• The School of Mom integration community: https://theschoolofmom.com/ 
• Radical Flourishing intimate program: https://cal.com/theschoolofmom/breakthrough-call 
• Nourish retreat (October 17th in Vermont): https://theschoolofmom.com/nourish 
• Upcoming podcast episode with sex therapist Rebecca Uti about "Parents and Love"

What's Coming Next Continue exploring how to do the deeper nervous system and emotional work needed to truly lighten your brain body load and access more joy, presence, and ease in your daily life.

Thank you for tuning in to this episode of "Mothering Ourselves Mindfully." We look forward to sharing more insights and inspiration in the upcoming episodes!

www.theschoolofmom.com

Instagram @the.schoolofmom

Book a breakthrough Call

In this episode, we dive into one of the most misunderstood emotions mothers experience: anger. If you've ever felt guilty about your rage, tried to suppress your irritation, or wondered why you sometimes feel like screaming, this episode will completely reframe how you see and work with your anger. Drawing from the viral "Primal Mom Scream" experience, we explore why anger isn't something to fix or hide - it's actually one of your greatest sources of wisdom and guidance.

Key Points

• The biology behind the famous "Primal Mom Scream" and why it went viral globally during COVID
• How screaming and expressing anger creates natural nervous system regulation through sympathetic charge and release
• Why the 90-second rule of emotions means we can move through anger when we don't block it
• The community aspect of anger expression - how co-regulation makes it safe to feel what we've repressed
• Understanding anger as information and guidance rather than something "bad" or unacceptable
• How blocked anger shows up in your body through illness, digestive issues, and sleep disruption
• The difference between helpful inner voices (anger) and unhelpful ones (anxiety, critic, shame)
• Why anger is an arrow pointing toward where boundaries or change are needed in your life

The Gift of Anger

• All emotions carry information, but anger specifically signals where boundaries are needed
• When you feel chronically angry about bedtime routines, morning responsibilities, or relationship dynamics - pay attention
• This unsettledness in your body is pointing to gold in terms of what you need to advocate for
• Learning to discern which inner voices to listen to versus outdated programming to release

Cyclical Living Connection

• How the luteal phase (pre-menstrual time) naturally heightens irritation and anger
• Why this isn't PMS to dismiss - it's laser clarity on what needs to change
• Using your cycle's wisdom: luteal phase for identifying what's not working, other phases for taking action
• The "irritated squirrel" phase as a signal to tune into what your anger is telling you
• For non-cycling bodies: using moon phases or seasons (summer as the equivalent building energy)

Quick Integration Practices

• When you feel angry, pause and ask: "What information do you have for me?"
• Instead of suppressing the scream, find safe ways to express it (pillow, car, nature)
• Notice patterns in what consistently triggers your anger - these are your boundary signals
• Practice seeing anger as wise guidance rather than something to fix or hide

Quotes "The body will body" - your natural impulse to scream or express anger is healthy and normal "Anger is an arrow to point towards where in your life or relationships change or boundary is needed" "We don't use our emotions, we don't tune into our body and see it as the gold and the insight and the wisdom that it is"

Resources Mentioned

• Nourish retreat - a space to process emotions in community safety: https://theschoolofmom.com/nourish 
• Radical Flourishing program for more intimate group support: https://cal.com/theschoolofmom/breakthrough-call 
• Previous episodes on nervous system understanding and inner voice work

What's Coming Next: 

Continue exploring how to work with your body's wisdom and create the changes your anger is pointing toward, rather than staying stuck in cycles of suppression and shame.

Thank you for tuning in to this episode of "Mothering Ourselves Mindfully." We look forward to sharing more insights and inspiration in the upcoming episodes!

www.theschoolofmom.com

Instagram @the.schoolofmom

Book a breakthrough Call

In this episode, we explore one of the most transformative questions you can ask yourself as a mother: What if that critical inner voice isn't telling you the truth? If you've ever wished for an "off switch" to your brain or felt trapped by anxiety, self-doubt, and that nagging voice saying you're not doing enough, this episode offers a completely different perspective on how to work with your inner critic.

Key Points

• Why there's no "off switch" to your thoughts (and why that's actually okay)
• Understanding that your inner critic isn't YOU - it's a protective part that's been programmed by past experiences
• The difference between your inner truth and your inner protector
• How nervous system states create the lens through which we see everything in our lives
• Why that voice feels so true in the moment but is wrong 99% of the time
• The negativity bias and how our biology is wired to focus on threats and problems
• Practical steps for questioning and redirecting your inner critic
• Why affirmations don't work when your nervous system isn't aligned
• The importance of practicing new feeling states, not just new thoughts

Quotes "What if the voice inside your head is wrong? What if it's not that you need to turn it off, it's that you need to question it."

"That inner voice is not your inner truth, it's your inner protector."

"Whatever you're practicing, you're getting good at."

Practice Invitation When you notice familiar patterns of anxiety, shame, or self-doubt, pause and ask: "Who's talking right now? What part of me is this? What do they need?" This simple practice brings your mindful awareness online and shifts you into a more grounded nervous system state.

Meta-Phrase Practice Place a hand on your heart and say: "May I choose to feel and see things differently? May I practice new thoughts and new feelings that are here for my thriving?"

Resources Mentioned

• The School of Mom community and 80-90% program retention rates: https://theschoolofmom.com/waitlist 
• Upcoming Nourish retreat for deeper nervous system work: https://theschoolofmom.com/nourish 
• Free resource at Why Smart Moms Still Feel Stuck—And What Actually Helps : https://theschoolofmom.com/smart 

What's Coming Next Continue exploring how to tend to the different parts of yourself with compassion while building capacity for new ways of thinking and being that support your thriving rather than just your surviving.

Thank you for tuning in to this episode of "Mothering Ourselves Mindfully." We look forward to sharing more insights and inspiration in the upcoming episodes!

www.theschoolofmom.com

Instagram @the.schoolofmom

Book a breakthrough Call