Joe has always fancied himself as a skipper so wants to know what attributes he needs to develop and ultimately what the perks of the job are. Patrick tells us about an incident whilst captain of Leeds that still haunts him to this day and discusses what it’s like to be captained by Harry Kane and John Terry, and whether he’d enjoy the style of leadership of someone like Roy Keane.

After weeks of hearing about Joe’s supposedly stupendous free kick-taking ability, Pat lays down a challenge which involves a trip to the Leeds training ground. Joe realises he might have bitten off more than he can chew and struggles to focus on anything other than getting some more tips for 5-a-side

Pat is having a good run in the Leeds team at the minute so Joe wants to work out what contributes to his impressive form and how to get through those barren spells as a striker. You’ll hear discussion about whether Joe pays attention to form as a comedian and how bad Erling Haaland’s form would have to be before Pep drops him from the Manchester City starting eleven.

After becoming an FA Cup icon, Patrick tells Joe all about THAT goal he scored against Peterborough and how Gary Lineker might be able to take some credit for the strike. Joe attempts to rank Pat’s volley against the greatest FA Cup goals from history and they discuss Pat’s return to the starting eleven at Leeds, and how a conversation with manager Daniel Farke sparked an upturn in form.

The FA Cup third round is a huge weekend in football so Joe discusses Pat’s giant-killing exploits in previous seasons and gets nosey about cup bonuses. Pat reveals how his new haircut was received in the dressing room at Leeds and why he’s obsessed with an app about shark tagging. Plus Joe reveals why his one and only holiday to the Maldives was a disaster.

Joe can’t believe how the Leeds squad are planning to celebrate their Christmas party so gets stuck into the organisation and planning with Pat who reveals where they’re planning to go. He also gets in touch with club captain Luke Ayling to work out how the kitty is being built which includes fines throughout the season from the entire squad… which means Pat also gets interrogated on what behaviour at the club could result in a fine.

Patrick begins this episode with a bone to pick with Joe regarding his footballing ability. Kalvin Phillips gets in touch with Joe who starts planning a celebration for when he scores his first professional goal. Plus they discuss the career-defining moments that all players experience on their journey to becoming a Premier League footballer.

We’re back on track in this episode about transfers where Pat discusses how his move to Chelsea came out of the blue and gives Joe insight into the power dynamic between a club and a player during the transfer window. Joe discusses what was going on in his life at the same age Pat was moving to the Premier League giants and they discover there’s a lot more in common between the pair than they first imagined. Plus there’s further developments in the budding friendship including a revelation from one of Joe’s comedian mates.

Joe slightly derails this episode in order to utilise the time he spends with his professional footballer co-host. After a crushing defeat, he wants to know what things he can add to his game to become a better player at the tender age of 48. Pat obliges with a couple of tips and tricks and we also learn something that Joe could never have imagined about the world of professional football, which only helps their friendship become stronger.

After a confident start to Joe’s attempt of making Patrick his friend, discussion turns to the various things a new manager can change at a club. Having recently gone through the experience with Daniel Farke at Leeds, Pat reveals the rules the German gaffer has brought in, how Sam Allardyce chose to communicate with the squad and how well a team would cope if the players were left to rule on their own.