The Woman Behind The Mother

Poet, novelist, essayist, and editor Jill Bialosky had wanted to write about her mother for some time, but she was busy with other projects, and the timing was not right. But then her mother passed away from Alzheimer's during COVID, and Jill, unable to attend the burial in another city, watched the abbreviated burial on FaceTime. "It was," she said, "very difficult to process her death."

As many authors do, she turned to writing to process her grief. Her essay about the FaceTime Funeral appeared in the New York Times; The floodgates opened wide. https://www.nytimes.com/2020/04/15/opinion/coronavirus-burial-facetime.html

Jill's mother was born in 1933 into a world in which women were expected to marry, have children, and live happily ever after. Tragically, her husband died when she was twenty-five, and she was left to care for three daughters, all under the age of three. "She was so unequipped," Jill said. "The advice of family and friends was to find a new husband to take care of us. That's what she did." Unfortunately, that marriage didn't last.

When Jill began to write about her mother in earnest, she decided to start with her mother's death and to move from there, tracing her mother's life back to her childhood. In this episode of "Older Women & Friends," she explains why she decided to move from the end to the beginning. She also takes a hard look at what living in an institution is like and her evolving view of people with Alzheimer's. "They no longer control the narrative of their lives, but are still expressing and participating."

This is a touching, insightful episode that should not be missed.

https://www.jillbialosky.com/

Another recommended podcast for mid-life women.

"Aging with Purpose and Passion" with Beverly Glazer

https://www.agingwithpurposeandpassion.com/