Myths and Legends

The prince is having a bad day...because the prince is having a great day. His life is just too easy. Too awesome. He is suffering from too much luxury. It's definitely not because he's into a girl who doesn't like him back. Nope. Not at all. Ok, it totally is. But don't tell his mom. 

The creature this week is a homicidal sea monster baby, because sure.  

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It's the end for Pinocchio. We left him last week the lead suspect in a murder investigation (no, I'm not joking), and we'll catch up to him on the beach, facing the authorities as he stands over the body with the murder weapon in hand. Also a lot of other stuff happens. Like, way too much stuff, like deep-fried puppets, snail butlers, and sleazy millionaires. And that's just in the first half of the episode. 

The creature this week is a gentleman who is so polite as to bow at every opportunity...but not so polite that he won't take every opportunity to fart out of his three anuses (still not joking). 

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Music: "Le Monstre" by Chad Crouch/Podington Bear "Caterpillar Brigade" by Chad Crouch/Podington Bear "Go To Sleep" by Chad Crouch/Podington Bear "Stages of Awakening" by Chad Crouch/Podington Bear "Blossoming" by Chad Crouch/Podington Bear "Lamb and Wolf" by Chad Crouch/Podington Bear "Bell Club" by Chad Crouch/Podington Bear "Paper Boat" by Chad Crouch/Podington Bear "Coopers Hawk" by Chad Crouch/Podington Bear "Svela Tal" by Blue Dot Sessions
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I wouldn't really call Pinocchio ill-fated. That implies that it's undeserved, and it's definitely not. The little guy lies like it's a second language. Regardless, a lot happens to our little buddy in this episode, starting with him coming back from the dead. 

The creature this week is the Hai Ho Shang, a vicious merman from Chinese mythology who absolutely has some opinions on your dancing. 

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Music: "Slow Dial" by Blue Dot Sessions "Lakeside Path" by Blue Dot Sessions "Arbinac" by Blue Dot Sessions "Taoudella" by Blue Dot Sessions "Plaque" by Blue Dot Sessions "Our Names Engraved" by Blue Dot Sessions "New Skin" by Chad Crouch "Red-tailed Hawk" by Chad Crouch
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Prison. Assassins. Marionette dance parties. The original story of Pinocchio has it all. Of course, you know of Pinocchio and Geppetto, but did you know that Geppetto, in order to get the wood to make Pinocchio, had to chew on an old man's wig? Or that the original story had a shockingly brutal end, even for an 1800s children's tale? Check it out. This story is wild. 

The creature this time is a giant grasshopper who wants to have your kids over for dinner. And no, he's not being playfully ambiguous with that wording. He's going to eat your children and there's nothing you can do to stop him because he's a twelve foot tall grasshopper. 

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Music: "Anna's Hummingbird" by Chad Crouch "Great Egret" by Chad Crouch "Single Player" by Chad Crouch "Staggering" by Chad Crouch "Frogs in Tuxes" by Podington Bear "Climbing the Mountain" by Podington Bear "Little Black Cloud" by Podington Bear "Puzzler" by Podington Bear
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Thumbelina's life is already difficult. She lives in early modern Denmark and is no bigger than her mom's thumb. Oh, and also, everyone wants to marry her. And by everyone, I mean everyone. Frog moms want her to marry their sons and, somehow, the story gets stranger from there. In true Hans Christian Andersen fashion, this fairy tale for children about a girl being born from a flower and trying to find love contains kidnapping, death threats, crushing nihilism, and sleazy moles. Childhood was different back in the 1800s. 

The creature are shrimp fries! But you have to act now or they'll be gone...oh, wait...no. My bad. They died 200 years ago. 

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Music: "Buzzy Minuet" by Chad Crouch "De Facto" by Chad Crouch "Platformer" by Chad Crouch "Drawing Mazes" by Chad Crouch "Idle Ways" by Blue Dot Sessions "Uncertain Ground" by Blue Dot Sessions "Velda Tallow" by Blue Dot Sessions "Sal's Piano Solo" by Blue Dot Sessions "Arbic Tallow" by Blue Dot Sessions "Button" by Chad Crouch
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Odin. Jotunheim. Shin Tinder. We're (basically) back in Norse mythology with the legendary story of Hadingus, a Viking king that hates being king. We'll visit nearly half of the worlds in Norse mythology as we follow a spectacularly bad ancient Norse hero. 

The creature this time is a way to get superpowers...if you ever wanted to be a bitter, stinky, homicidal muppet. 

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"Orange Juicier" by Podington Bear "Holding Steady" by Podington Bear "So We Go" by Blue Dot Sessions "Closet Interlude" by Blue Dot Sessions "Bristlecone" by Podington Bear "Shade Ways" by Podington Bear "Telltale" by Podington Bear "We Make a Good Team" by Podington Bear "House Finch" by Chad Crouch "Journies" by Podington Bear
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The city of Athens is one of the most famous of the ancient world and its royal family was plagued with, well, weirdness. Between the dragon kings and the bird people, you either had to be sure to trust no one, or to never go anywhere ever because the wind or even the dawn could be out to get you. 

The creature of the week is a fairy cow by the name of Fuwch Gyfeiliorn which I have the good sense to not even begin to attempt to say. 

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Music: "Bombadore" by Blue Dot Sessions "The Records" by Blue Dot Sessions "Slow Line Stomp" by Blue Dot Sessions "Rate Sheet" by Blue Dot Sessions "Setting Pace" by Blue Dot Sessions "Jog to the Water" by Blue Dot Sessions "Minor Islands" by Blue Dot Sessions "Crumbling Dock" by Blue Dot Sessions "Waves of Intensity" by Podington Bear
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Tom Thumb is the story of a guy named Tom...who is as big as his dad's thumb. A practical joke by a wizard, Tom went on to become Sir Thomas Thumb, the greatest knight in the realm, but not before becoming indigestion for a giant, a raven's canker sore, and exploring all the thrilling intricacies of a cow's digestive system. 

The creature this week is a fish that's more manly than I'll ever be. 

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Music: "Le Monstre" by Podington Bear "Pives and Flarinet" by Podington Bear "Elephants on Parade" by Podington Bear "Releaseing the Sculpture" by Podington Bear "Two Boys and a Girl" by Podington Bear "Airliner" by Podington Bear "New Skin" by Podington Bear "Denouement" by Podington Bear "Waiting for the Moment that Never Comes" by Lee Rosevere "You're Enough" by Lee Rosevere
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It's quiet. Too quiet. It has been years since the last blood libel and the Jewish community in Prague is starting to relax. Then, the Maharal receives a sign from God a few days before Passover, letting him know that the danger is far from over. 

On the creature of the week, if you can't take the heat, get out of the desert. Or stay in the desert and be like the Funeral Mountain Terrashot. S

Music: "Just need a walk under the lights of the boulevard" by Bisou de l'enfant sauvage "After midnight kiss" by Bisou de l'enfant sauvage "Ocean Ending" by Soft and Furious "The Coil Winds" by Blue Dot Sessions "Lost in Russia" by TRG Banks "Alchemical" by Blue Dot Sessions
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As a way to say thank for voting for Myths and Legends for the Webbys (and for being the reason why we won!), we wanted to share an additional story this week. It's from the southern United States, and it was originally an episode on the Myths and Legends member feed. It's a story of two wives in a stupidity arms race over who has the worse husband. The creature is the reason why the owl is such a shady bird that never comes out during the day. Thanks again for your vote. If you liked this episode and want more like it, there are now 31+ other episodes on the member feed. Go to support.mythpodcast.com for more info. All music this week by Podington Bear

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