Myths and Legends

Don't, under any circumstances, trust the Midas touch. The king of unforced errors, Midas is a well-known figure in mythology mainly because of horrible decision-making and lack of foresight. They say any publicity is good publicity, and I hope that is the case for Midas, who took a bad choice and used it to propel himself to everlasting notoriety. Mouse bears. 

The creatures this week are mouse bears. They have the ferocity of bears and the ability to sneak into your cupboards like mice. Needless to say, they're super annoying. 

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Music: “Bitter Roll” by Blue Dot Sessions   “Floating Whist” by Blue Dot Sessions   “Glass Runner” by Blue Dot Sessions   “Lead Shroud” by Blue Dot Sessions   “Pacing” by Blue Dot Sessions   “Sylvestor” by Blue Dot Sessions   “Town Market” by Blue Dot Sessions   “Bagd” by Podington Bear   “Breadtime” by by Podington Bear   “Many Hands” by Podington Bear   “Swimmy” by Podington Bear
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Wrapping up this two-part series on Morgan le Fay, we'll see her devious schemes within schemes come to fruition with one aim in mind: killing King Arthur and seizing the throne for herself. 

The creature this week is fish man, from Spain. He's kind of like a superhero if all superheroes did was lay around and drink wine at their parents' house. 

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Music: “Lamplist” by Blue Dot Sessions “One Needle” by Blue Dot Sessions   “Parissi” by Blue Dot Sessions   “Tuck and Point” by Blue Dot Sessions   “Please Listen Carefully” by Jahzzar   “60s Quiz Show” by Podington Bear   “A1 Rogue” by Podington Bear   “All The Colors In The World” by Podington Bear   “Canoe” by Podington Bear   “Climbing the Mountain” by Podington Bear   “Dulcet” by Podington Bear   “Loam” by Podington Bear   “Modest House” by Podington Bear   “Rythn” by Podington Bear
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Sorceress. Confidant. Traitor. Sister. All of those words describe Morgan Le Fay, King Arthur's half-sister. She is by far the most complex character I've come across in the Arthurian legends, but she's constantly portrayed in the medieval and early modern texts as a one-note traitorous baddy who is evil because she's an evil sorceress and evil sorceresses are evil. If you're familiar with the legends, you're going to see a Morgan you've never seen before. If you're not, get ready to meet one of the most interesting, tragic figures you'll come across. 

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 Music: “Malachite” by Andy G. Cohen   “Watching from Red Hill” by Artofescapism   “Disinter” by Blue Dot Sessions   “The Face of the Thrush” by Blue Dot Sessions   “Take Me Higher” by Jahzzar   “Snowmen” by Kai Engel   “Even when we fall” by Philipp Weigl   “The Scent of Cedars” by Philipp Weigl   “60s Quiz Show” by Podington Bear   “Fits” by Podington Bear   “Pop Brasilia” by Podington Bear   “Seventh Hill” by Podington Bear   “Starday” by Podington Bear   “Toboggan (Smooth Run)” by Podington Bear   “Trader Ho Hey” by Podington Bear
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I wanted to name this episode "it's not easy being green," but it really is. The Green Knight had his head chopped off last episode...but still carried it out of the most uncomfortable Christmas dinner ever. Really, it's not easy being Gawain, who has to go present his neck in payment. Except it really is easy being Gawain. Most of this episode will consist of him sleeping until noon in a fancy castle. But he still has that date with destiny on New Year's Day...and by "destiny" I mean a hairy green gentleman who is really good at pole vaulting. 

If you disrespect the hobbies of the creatures this week, they will make your life mildly uncomfortable for like an evening. You've been warned. S

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 Music: “A Perceptible shift” by Andy G. Cohen   “Monkeybars” by Andy G. Cohen   “Curious Case” by Blue Dot Sessions   “Felt Lining” by Blue Dot Sessions   “PolyCoat” by Blue Dot Sessions   “Tiny Putty” by Blue Dot Sessions   “Chance” by Kai Engel   “Run” by Katie Engel   “Scenery” by Kai Engel   “Love Wins” by Lee Rosevere   “Bloomer” by Podington Bear   “Dark Disco” by Podington Bear   “Funk” by Podington Bear   “Guestlist” by Podington Bear   “Little Black Cloud” by Podington Bear   “We Make a Good Team” by Podington Bear   “Wednesday Night Flavor” by Podington Bear
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You probably had to read the story of Sir Gawain and the Green Knight in high school. I know I did, and it's a great story. There are beheadings, green guys, confusing interactions with ladies. It might be one of the most violent non-Die Hard Christmas stories. Anyway, everyone knows that. You probably don't know the story I'll tell today. It's of how Gawain grew into the paragon of virtue he's known as in the legends. It involves, of course, dog parties, inept knights, and the most grotesque piece of neckwear we will ever talk about on this podcast. 

The creature is a bunch of tiny guys who want to hang out in your room and dance, as long as you're cool with it. Just kidding - they don't care if you're cool with it.   

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Music: "Quiet Still" "Plaque" "Pick up the Tempo" "Marble Transit" "Chapel Bottom" "Drifting Spade" by Blue Dot Sessions   "Flapjacks" "Bumble" "Mutinee" "Springtime" by Podington Bear
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You know how to make your stories completely resistant to any ridicule from a future podcaster? Make them as ridiculous as possible. The stories of Paul Bunyan arose from the camps of lumberjacks in the US in the 1880s, but he spread to be a nationwide symbol of American strength and a pioneer spirit. Except that a lot of what we know about Paul Bunyan might actually not be folklore, but stories made up to sell stuff. Also, if someone tells you to put something up your nose that feels like bees and lightning, just say no.

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Music: "Nothing will grow here" "Wake up, heroic figure" "Fight the apocalypse but before a quick nap" "STOP TALKING AND MOVING" by Komiku   "Goodnight Esme" "Three Kites Circling" by Axletree
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The story of Oedipus is fun until it isn't. I've met people with varying degrees of familiarity with the story. Some are familiar only with the central premise of the story, while others' knowledge only extends to a certain disgusting little complex popularized by a similarly-disgusting Viennese psychologist. Regardless, the story of Oedipus is a fascinating commentary on fate, our willing blindness to uncomfortable truths, and why you should, under no circumstances, talk to prophets. Seriously, they will mess up your life. 

The creature this week is the Tanuki from Japan, with two big surprises for you. 

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Music: "Skeptic" "Modest House" "In My Head" "A1 Rogue" by Podington Bear   "Readers Do You Read" "Wonder Cycle" "Everybody's Got Problems that Aren't Mine" by Chris Zabriskie   "Seeker" by Kai Engel "Mogul" by Blue Dot Sessions "Plaster Combo" by Blue Dot Sessions
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The story of the frog prince is well known - a beautiful princess meets a frog, kisses him, and he turns out to be a prince. Except, in the earliest version, it doesn't go like that at all. I won't spoil it, but the original frog prince is extremely bizarre, and I had the most fun writing it of any episode so far. The second story is of a frog princess, from Russian folklore, and not only is it a great story in its own right, with a stupid king and a ridiculous dating service, but we'll catch back up with our favorite witch living in a house on chicken legs and a certain deathless sorcerer early in his career. 

The creature of the week shoots hail out of its ears and kills anyone it sees...unless you're carrying a sack of llama fat. 
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Music: "The Spinnet" "The Silver Hatch" "The Shoes they Wear" "Filing Away" "Decompression" and "Brass Buttons" are all by Blue Dot Session "Vanagon" "Submerging Blue-Black" "Trailways A" "Smolder" "Sensitive" "Running on Empty" and "Down and Around" are all by Podington Bear "Final Sacrifice" by Visager "Independent Film" by Steve Combs
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The story of Puss is Boots is that of a cat who wears boots and talks. The character of the cat has somehow gone on to be voiced by Antonio Banderas, take part in a one really successful franchise, spin off into its own movie AND Netflix series. The 2011 movie alone went on to gross, and I'm not making this up, over half a billion dollars worldwide. The original is something you haven't heard before, and has ogre fights, a cat con artist, and dating advice from the Myths and Legends Podcast.* 

The creature this week has the boring job of constantly trying to destroy the universe, but hey, it gets two weeks paid vacation a year. 

*Taking dating advice from the Myths and Legends Podcast is generally not advised.
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Quite possibly the last episode on Norse mythology before we start on the epic showdown that is Ragnarok, this story has Thor earning a ridiculous facial feature and wetting himself in terror. Also, you shouldn't follow Loki into the wilderness, no matter how good the party he is telling you about sounds, and we'll learn how far is too far when it comes to idle, drunken boasts in the halls of the gods. 

The creature is a sweet little flaming chicken who will steal for you and not feel bad about it at all. Oh, you have some moral issues with stealing? Well, the flaming chicken doesn't have moral issues with burning your house to the ground, so you might want to keep your compunctions to yourself. 

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Music: "Tiny Spoons" by Podington Bear "Swapping Tubes" by Blue Dot Sessions "Sreda Vniecaps" by Rolemusic "Patched In" by Blue Dot Sessions "Neil Takes Two" by Blue Dot Sessions "Moonglow" by Podington Bear "Firefly" by Podington Bear "Fantasy" by Podington Bear "Arame" by Blue Dot Sessions "A Thought" by Podington Bear "The Final Road" by Visager
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