For seven years, Tom Rosshirt lived in fear. He was afraid that chemicals in the air were making him sick and depressed, that mold spores in his walls were making him forgetful and panicky. He cut out different foods that he loved, hoping that might help him feel better. Lights and sounds overwhelmed him and he isolated himself. “My life became smaller and smaller,” he said. “And I was getting worse and worse.”

After countless visits with doctors and specialists, Tom finally realized what was at the root of his illness: his anxiety and fear were causing these physical symptoms. And by continuing to cut more and more out of his life, he was feeding those anxieties, which in turn, made him more sick. While working with a support group which taught him practices based in neuroplasticity, he was able to finally take control of his life again. That experience is the focus of his new book, “Chasing Peace.” As Tom shares with Tim in their conversation,  “...Reducing fear is one of the great ways to ease suffering and one of the great ways to bring peace. [And we] reduce fear by facing it and feeling it.”

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Tom Rosshirt is an author, a co-creator of the Dignity Index, and a former White House speech writer. His new book “Chasing Peace: a story of breakdowns, breakthroughs, and the spiritual power of neuroscience” is out now. You can learn more by following him @tomrosshirt on Instagram or at tomrosshirt.com.

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Our theme music was written by Andy Ogden and produced by Tim Lauer, Andy Ogden and Julian Raymond. All other music that you hear in this episode is courtesy of Epidemic Sound. 

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Rev. angel Kyodo williams is a Zen Buddhist priest, and she says that her spiritual journey started when she was a child, after someone close to her let her down. In that moment, she realized that she needed to have compassion for this person and, in a way, let them off the hook. “Letting them off the hook is not saying… ‘Oh, it's okay that they did that,’” she tells Tim. “But it is part of the fabric of what it means to be human and alive. And I get to continue to love them, not despite, but because of all of those missteps and mistakes.”

Rev. angel is a spiritual leader and an activist, someone searching for compassion and change at the same time. While working in social movements fighting against homophobia and racism, she noticed that conflict and frustration was eating her comrades alive. “We couldn't get things done because everybody was fighting with each other, because that's what we practiced,” she said. Now, Rev. angel teaches others how to “conflict well,” as she calls it. She thinks we can organize with love, while looking to the future for bigger solutions. 

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Rev. angel Kyodo williams is a Zen Buddhist priest and author of “Radical Dharma: Talking Race, Love and Liberation” and “Being Black: Zen and the Art of Living With Fearlessness & Grace.” Her newest project is called the Healing Race Portal, what she calls the culmination of all her work. You can learn more at healingraceportal.com.

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Our theme music was written by Andy Ogden and produced by Tim Lauer, Andy Ogden and Julian Raymond. All other music that you hear in this episode is courtesy of Epidemic Sound. 

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

“What is our responsibility to one another?”

“How do we create a culture that prioritizes community and the virtues it requires?” 

“What kind of world do we seek to create together, for ourselves and our children?”

These are the fundamental questions Surgeon General Dr. Vivek Murthy poses to all of us in his “Parting Prescription for America,” released publicly yesterday. Motivated by a quest to understand the deeper roots of despair he’s witnessed across America during his nearly 10 years of service, Dr. Murthy outlines four essential components of fulfillment and our overall well-being: relationships, service, purpose, and love. These elements are also core to building community, he shares with Tim in this episode.“If you can help people feel like someone does care about them, that they do belong… If you can give people the opportunity to connect by joint actions of service or by helping one another…[these small things] help us change culture.” 

As Dr. Murthy prepares to leave his role as Surgeon General later this month, his charge to the nation is simple. Focus on the small things. “Make five or 10 minutes to reach out each day to somebody [you] care about…look for one thing [you] can do each day to help somebody in [your life]. These things might seem small, but…for people who are struggling with a sense of despondency and despair, small moments can be lifelines,” Dr. Murthy says. “It's like dropping a pebble in a pond. They generate powerful ripples. Each person that you help is then more likely to go off and help somebody else.”

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Dr. Vivek Murthy served as the 19th and 21st Surgeon General of the United States, first under President Obama and later under President Biden, and as Vice Admiral of the U.S. Public Health Service Commissioned Corps.

He led the nation's response during a number of public health challenges including Ebola, Zika virus, and the opioid crisis where he helped our nation see addiction as a chronic illness instead of as a character flaw. His work challenged us to notice the impact of social isolation and loneliness on America's physical, spiritual, social, and mental wellbeing. Most recently, he made headlines with his research linking alcohol and cancer.

Learn more about Dr. Murthy’s public health initiatives and groundbreaking work on his website, vivekmurthy.com and read his latest report at surgeongeneral.gov/community. 

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Our theme music was written by Andy Ogden and produced by Tim Lauer, Andy Ogden and Julian Raymond. All other music that you hear in this episode is courtesy of Epidemic Sound.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

When Dr. Anita Phillips was a kid, she didn’t understand why God wouldn’t heal her sister’s pain. She didn’t know then, but her sister Valerie had a severe mental illness, one that couldn’t be solved with her family’s prayers alone. Growing up, there was a sharp divide between Dr. Anita’s Christian background and mental health. In her community, “...if you went to therapy, it must mean that you didn't have enough faith,” she told Tim. That tension set her on a path to become a trauma therapist and a minister, someone who can support both our mind and our spirit. “I come alongside people of faith and help them improve their experience with God,” she said. Dr. Anita sees caring for your emotional health as being deeply connected to what we believe about the world and ourselves. And if we neglect our emotions, it can become a kind of “spiritual bypassing” where we try to avoid our feelings, hoping that they will go away, only to have them manifest in other ways. “Emotions don’t last forever, but they will wait forever…eventually that pain will find its way out,” says Dr. Anita. 

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Dr. Anita Phillips is the host of the podcast “In the Light with Dr. Anita Phillips” and the author of “The Garden Within.” You can follow her on social media using the handle @dranitaphillips.

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Our theme music was written by Andy Ogden and produced by Tim Lauer, Andy Ogden and Julian Raymond. All other music that you hear in this episode is courtesy of Epidemic Sound. 

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Reverend Jen Bailey comes from a long line of Black women who “made a way out of no way.” As a young girl encouraged by church mothers who “made spiritual work come alive,” Jen discovered God was both a heavenly being to be revered and a confidant she could trust with hard questions about her daily life and reality. 

Today, Jen’s work is grounded in the belief that faith matters for action, and action manifests faith, both in her life as a preacher, a writer, and as an advocate for justice. In 2014, she founded Faith Matters Network, which supports faith leaders, community organizers, and social activists with the tools they need to heal themselves and their communities. And she also serves on the board of several philanthropic foundations and advisory groups helping people with resources invest in the work of spiritual and social change. 

On days when hope is harder to access in her work and in her life, Jen says she considers three important questions, “What is dying in the world?  What wants to emerge? And what is already blooming beautifully?” 

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Reverend Jennifer Bailey is an ordained minister in the African Methodist Episcopal Church, a public theologian, and a leader in the multi-faith movement for justice. 

She is the founder of Faith Matters Network and a co-founder of The People's Supper. You can learn more about her work and her beautiful book, “To My Beloveds: Letters on Faith, Race, Loss, and Radical Hope” on her website reverendjen.com. 

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Our theme music was written by Andy Ogden and produced by Tim Lauer, Andy Ogden and Julian Raymond. All other music that you hear in this episode is courtesy of Epidemic Sound.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Growing up in 1980s New Haven, Connecticut, Lamont Young faced many challenges including poverty, racism, and isolation. Then, at 19-years old, he was shot seven times at point blank range. Miraculously, he survived, but life after the shooting was far from easy. Lamont experienced PTSD, lived in a homeless shelter, lost custody of his kids, and turned to drugs and alcohol. He credits his mother’s unconditional love and faith for helping him release his anger and finally begin the healing process. “She said, ‘It doesn't matter what happened to you in the past, what you did in the past, what anybody ever did to you in the past....Forgive yourself.’” 

Years later when Lamont came face-to-face with his shooter, instead of seeking revenge he chose to forgive him. “Who am I to take your life after God saved my life?... And I hugged him, my mom hugged him, and she prayed for him, and we drove off and that was it.” Lamont eventually attended rehab and after recovery he graduated with a masters in psychology from Fordham University. 

Today, Lamont serves a mix of youth, adults and families in his local community as a licensed mental health clinician, equipping clients with the coping skills he needed as a young man. “[I ask them] ‘How can I help? What can I do to help you?’ And once they start sharing, I’ll give them hope. Let them know no matter what [they’re] going through, this is what we’re going to do together to be able to heal [them].”

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Lamont Young is a licensed mental health clinician specializing in Addiction Psychiatry. Previously, he worked at a middle school as a trauma informed therapist and at Yale Psychiatric Hospital helping transitional youth. Today, he continues to serve his community by working with a mix of young people, adults, and families. 

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Our theme music was written by Andy Ogden and produced by Tim Lauer, Andy Ogden and Julian Raymond. All other music that you hear in this episode is courtesy of Epidemic Sound.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Scarlett Lewis remembers feeling like there was no future for her. “I literally had this thought that I was going to dissolve,” she tells Tim, recounting the days after the death of her son Jesse at the Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting on December 14th, twelve years ago. She realized there was no playbook on how to process the murder of her son, but she knew that she did not want to be a victim, or to feel hopeless. “Hopelessness is dangerous for the person feeling it and for those around them. I did not want to go down the same path as Adam Lanza. Why fight anger with anger? It doesn't do any good. It doesn't solve anything. How about fighting anger with love? That's a concept.” This idea brought her to the field of Social and Emotional Learning, or SEL. SEL gives kids tools to manage their emotions and make better choices, and Scarlett believes it has the potential to prevent violence. She built the Choose Love Movement to bring SEL curriculum to more schools, as well as prisons, workplaces, families and communities. Scarlett has been able to forgive her son’s killer, but the pain and loss of his death is with her every day. “And it is that pain that drives me to do what I do every day as well.”

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Scarlett Lewis is the founder of the Choose Love Movement. You can learn more about her work at their website: chooselovemovement.org

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Our theme music was written by Andy Ogden and produced by Tim Lauer, Andy Ogden and Julian Raymond. All other music that you hear in this episode is courtesy of Epidemic Sound. 

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

When Patrice Jetter and her fiancé Garry Wickham met over 30 years ago at work, they instantly clicked. “They had to separate us after a while,” Garry said. “We couldn't sit together because… all we’d do is laugh.” 

You can see their laughter and love for each other in the new documentary, “Patrice: The Movie,” now streaming on Hulu. It tells the story of Patrice’s life growing up as a child with a disability in New Jersey and her journey to heal from bullying, trauma and abuse. “I learned early on that I had very little control over what went on in my life,” she told Tim. In response, Patrice developed a personal philosophy of joy and positivity. She learned she could improve her day “...by just smiling or doing something to make another person laugh.” 

Now 60 years old, Patrice insists on living her life exactly the way she wants. She draws and makes elaborate original costumes. She figure skates and swims with Special Olympics. But there’s one thing she’s still not able to do: Marry her fiancé and best friend, Garry. In this episode, Patrice, Garry, and Tim discuss the laws keeping them apart, and their struggle for marriage rights for all couples with disabilities. 

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Patrice Jetter and Garry Wickham are the stars of the new documentary, “Patrice: The Movie” now streaming on Hulu. Learn more about the film by following @patricethemovie on social media. You can go to patricethemovie.com and click “Take Action” to send a letter to your lawmakers telling them you want the marriage penalty changed.

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Our theme music was written by Andy Ogden and produced by Tim Lauer, Andy Ogden and Julian Raymond. All other music that you hear in this episode is courtesy of Epidemic Sound.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Comedians, screenwriters, and best friends, Matt Ritter and Aaron Karo are “champions of friendship.” Every year on the Tuesday before Thanksgiving, they gather with seven other friends at a steakhouse in Brooklyn to vote on who had the best year. The winner takes home a “man of the year” trophy, a tradition that has sustained their friendship for almost 40 years. 

As a response to a survey which found that 49% of Americans reported having three or fewer friends and 12% reported having zero close friends, they launched the Man of the Year podcast in late 2022. They’re on a mission to show men why true contentment is a byproduct of healthy relationships and how deep connections have the power to shift the trajectory of your life. On the show, they provide “Friend-Ed” (friend education), offering men advice on everything from the art of the “boy’s night,” how to support a grieving friend, and how to tell your friend “I love you.”  “One tip we give to our listeners is to start with thank you. We say, ‘Thanks is a gateway emotion.’ So you start with “thank you”…make your way up to “I love you.”” Aaron Karo says. 

In this episode, they model their friendship-expertise in real time, offering Tim advice on a recent friend-breakup of his own, and they make a case for why friendship might be the antidote to America's “loneliness epidemic.” “I consider our deep friendship sort of an extension of family… We share values, we share goals and community,” Matt Ritter says.

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Matt Ritter and Aaron Karo are comedians, screenwriters, and best friends for almost 40 years. They co-host the “Man of the Year" podcast where they help listeners make new friends, reconnect with old ones, and build lifelong social fitness. You can check out the show on Youtube or wherever you listen to podcasts.

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Our theme music was written by Andy Ogden and produced by Tim Lauer, Andy Ogden and Julian Raymond. All other music that you hear in this episode is courtesy of Epidemic Sound.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

As a college student majoring in psychology, Dr. Rheeda Walker quickly discovered her calling after recognizing Black people were largely absent in her field. “People who looked like me didn't seem to be represented in the psychology texts. Not in the theories, not in the stories, not in the hypotheses, not in anything,” she says. Today, as a licensed clinical psychologist, Dr. Walker focuses on suicidal ideation and the prevention of suicide and the urgency it has in Black mental health.

In 2016, she noticed a troubling pattern. Research showed that the suicide rate among 5 to 11 year old Black children exceeded the rate of white kids at the same age. Additionally, while suicide rates for white children declined, they'd actually increased for Black children. When these statistics only worsened through repeated studies, Dr. Walker knew that she had to act. 

In 2020, she wrote a book called “The Unapologetic Guide to Black Mental Health” arguing that “in this era of discrimination, invisibility, and psychological warfare, Black people need so much more than mental health or well-being. They need an impermeable web of protection for [their minds].” Dr. Walker calls this "psychological fortitude” and she believes it goes beyond serving individuals. “It's about healing the community…then we're able to not just heal ourselves, but maybe be a model for a larger society,” Dr. Walker says.

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Dr. Rheeda Walker is a licensed clinical psychologist, psychology professor at Wayne State University, and author of several books including “The Unapologetic Guide to Black Mental Health.” You can find more of her work on her website rheedawalkerphd.com. 

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Our theme music was written by Andy Ogden and produced by Tim Lauer, Andy Ogden and Julian Raymond. All other music that you hear in this episode is courtesy of Epidemic Sound.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.