You have pulled The Goddess of Spring, which represents abundance, entrapment, and some real housewives-level drama! You are a gorgeous one-in-a-million dignitary - even if there are several others just like you in other cultures, you stand out for sure. This is a sign to loosen up that ankle monitor and tighten up your toga - hold your head high because you're a queen, honey! Dreadful winter may be upon us, but fear not, for spring is coming and the agriculture is about to pop off! So set off some illegal fireworks, avoid your creepy uncle, and hang out in the woods with devil tormentor Art Brimstone, Failed Comedian Ian Hamilton, and immortal diva Natalie O'Sullivan Hamilton!

Credits

Failed Comedian Ian Hamilton: Ian Hamilton

Art Brimstone: Art Stone

Persephone: Natalie O'Sullivan Hamilton

Theme Music: Sam Winters

Artwork: Hannah Bess Ross

Hell Soundscape: @MichaelGhelfiStudios

Audio Engineer + Editor: Art Stone

Producers: Ian Hamilton & Art Stone

Associate Producer: Natalie O'Sullivan Hamilton

Support the show by following us wherever the hell we are: linktr.ee/netherregionpod

You have pulled The Scotsman, a reminder to keep your friends close and your name doppelgängers closer! You're a natural leader and a giver - you're sensitive to people's needs, even if it means gettin' a little stabby. Considering your brutally honest nature, you have built enough trust with the royals and demons alike to massage anyone who crosses your path! This is your sign to flip the script - take back your name and your legacy, even if no one can understand what the hell you're saying. Hug your homely wife, hold onto your grudges, and strike fear into Shakespeare with devil tormentor Art Brimstone, Failed Comedian Ian Hamilton, and killer king Joe Janes!

Credits

Failed Comedian Ian Hamilton: Ian Hamilton

Art Brimstone: Art Stone

Macbeth: Joe Janes

Theme Music: Sam Winters

Artwork: Hannah Bess Ross

Hell Soundscape: @MichaelGhelfiStudios

Audio Engineer + Editor: Art Stone

Producers: Ian Hamilton & Art Stone

Associate Producer: Natalie O'Sullivan Hamilton

Support the show by following us wherever the hell we are: linktr.ee/netherregionpod

You have pulled The Ferryman, which reminds you that you've got a one-way ticket to Paradise* baby**! You're a guiding light in an infinite abyss of darkness - though your vessel is decrepit, you've got enough biceps, triceps, delts, and lats to get the dead where they need to be. Just be sure to advocate for yourself - remember that you're the captain now! You've earned some PTO, or at least a portable radio for your many eons of service. So grab your sack of death coins, hold onto your Furby, and let's get this boat a-rockin' with devil tormentor Art Brimstone, Failed Comedian Ian Hamilton, and psychopomp Jeremy Barrett!

*Hell

**sucker

Credits

Failed Comedian Ian Hamilton: Ian Hamilton

Art Brimstone: Art Stone

Charon: Jeremy Barrett

Theme Music: Sam Winters

Artwork: Hannah Bess Ross

Hell Soundscape: @MichaelGhelfiStudios

Audio Engineer + Editor: Art Stone

Producers: Ian Hamilton & Art Stone

Associate Producer: Natalie O'Sullivan Hamilton

Support the show by following us wherever the hell we are: linktr.ee/netherregionpod

You have pulled The Imp, a sign that everything that can go wrong will go wrong and it feels oh so good to be oh so bad. You are the embodiment of mischief and mayhem, but you have the potential to shatter the glass ceiling of naughtiness! Keep reaching for that bottomless chasm and marvel at the underworld of possibilities - with your youthful spirit, you're a surefire superstar for shenanigans! Bat your sweet little Irish baby eyes, network and collaborate with the best of the worst of them, and just keep introducing yourself with devil tormentor Art Brimstone, Failed Comedian Ian Hamilton, and dirty rotten scoundrel Scoochie Boochie!

Credits

Failed Comedian Ian Hamilton: Ian Hamilton

Art Brimstone: Art Stone

Ty Dewie the Imp: Scoochie Boochie

Theme Music: Sam Winters

Artwork: Hannah Bess Ross

Hell Soundscape: @MichaelGhelfiStudios

Audio Engineer + Editor: Art Stone

Producers: Ian Hamilton & Art Stone

Associate Producer: Natalie O'Sullivan Hamilton

Support the show by following us wherever the hell we are: linktr.ee/netherregionpod

You have pulled The Doll, which represents cherubic faces, cutesy catchphrases, and one helluva kill streak! You're used to being second fiddle to someone younger, dumber, and more human than you...it's just not fair. You must power through your hostility (even if you get a bad haircut) because you are doomed to maintain your delicate demeanor. This is your sign to stay strong and play nice until you don't have to - then all bets are off. You're nobody's darling, baby doll, so pop in a few AAA batteries, keep score of your body count, and get the creepiest giggles ever with devil tormentor Art Brimstone, Failed Comedian Ian Hamilton, and sweetie pie psycho Abby Rose Mark!

Credits

Failed Comedian Ian Hamilton: Ian Hamilton

Art Brimstone: Art Stone

Matilda Kills A Lot: Abby Rose Mark

Theme Music: Sam Winters

Artwork: Hannah Bess Ross

Hell Soundscape: @MichaelGhelfiStudios

Audio Engineer + Editor: Art Stone

Producers: Ian Hamilton & Art Stone

Associate Producer: Natalie O'Sullivan Hamilton

Support the show by following us wherever the hell we are: linktr.ee/netherregionpod

You have pulled The Sleep Paralysis Demon, a sign that you should stop and smell the loveseats every once in a while! Grab life by the peaches and plums, rifle through some non-perishable pantry items, and use your discerning eye to judge people's seating arrangements. You have good taste, and smell, and it shows! Also, you should try to get some good restful shut-eye...not that you deserve it. They say sleep is for the dead, so shimmy into bed, tuck in real tight, and take a big nasty whiff of devil tormentor Art Brimstone, failed comedian Ian Hamilton, and nightmare fuel Jeff Murdoch!

Credits

Failed Comedian Ian Hamilton: Ian Hamilton

Art Brimstone: Art Stone

Damon the Demon: Jeff Murdoch

Theme Music: Sam Winters

Artwork: Hannah Bess Ross

Hell Soundscape: @MichaelGhelfiStudios

Audio Engineer + Editor: Art Stone

Producers: Ian Hamilton & Art Stone

Associate Producer: Natalie O'Sullivan Hamilton

Support the show by following us wherever the hell we are: linktr.ee/netherregionpod

You have pulled The Economist, which reminds you that financial opportunity and sound investments will yield great results if you're not a complete idiot about it. Bask in the sweaty glow of smut futures and EDM raves and you will find your supply to be very much in demand! This is a sign for you to set your sights high in the skies, where you're less likely to see any turkeys or angels clogging up the view. Tinkle on down to hell, lean into the void real close, and get the inside scoop with devil tormentor Art Brimstone, failed comedian Ian Hamilton, and oh-so-diabolical Scott Piebenga!

Credits

Failed Comedian Ian Hamilton: Ian Hamilton

Art Brimstone: Art Stone

Damian Dismal: Scott Piebenga

Theme Music: Sam Winters

Artwork: Hannah Bess Ross

Hell Soundscape: @MichaelGhelfiStudios

Audio Engineer + Editor: Art Stone

Producers: Ian Hamilton & Art Stone

Associate Producer: Natalie O'Sullivan Hamilton

Support the show by following us wherever the hell we are: linktr.ee/netherregionpod

You have pulled The Landlords, which represents an exhausting 3-hour work day, fraternal love, and cripplingly binding lease agreements! You give the Property Brothers a run for their money when it comes to finely pressed "silk" shirts and devilishly "good" looks. This is a sign to seize any opportunity that lands in your lap, unless it involves doing math. You're a shoo-in for Love Island - any single mom or sexy apartment would be lucky to have you. Corral your little buddies and pals, drink some flavorful ocean water, and sink all your costs into devil tormentor Art Brimstone, failed comedian Ian Hamilton, and fiendish hellhounds Alex Collyard and Grace Weissend!

Credits

Failed Comedian Ian Hamilton: Ian Hamilton

Art Brimstone: Art Stone

Allyn: Alex Collyard

Seth: Grace Weissend

Theme Music: Sam Winters

Artwork: Hannah Bess Ross

Hell Soundscape: @MichaelGhelfiStudios

Audio Engineer + Editor: Art Stone

Producers: Ian Hamilton & Art Stone

Associate Producer: Natalie O'Sullivan Hamilton

Support the show by following us wherever the hell we are: linktr.ee/netherregionpod

You have pulled The Influencer, a sign that your trendiest trends are trending downwards, straight down to hell where they belong! You're a fashionista chameleon, seamlessly switching your outfits as they suit your vibes à la mode. Don't underestimate the impact you have and the power you hold! You easily sway all creatures demonic and evil by dictating what's hot (goblincore) and what's not (ball pits). Slink on down to the Marinara Trench, apply a hazardous amount of Nair, and leave your ride share scooters absolutely everywhere with devil tormentor Art Brimstone, failed comedian Ian Hamilton, and mistress of the abyss Abby Vatterott!

Credits

Failed Comedian Ian Hamilton: Ian Hamilton

Art Brimstone: Art Stone

Tiffany the Demon Queen of Micro-Trends: Abby Vatterott

Theme Music: Sam Winters

Artwork: Hannah Bess Ross

Hell Soundscape: @MichaelGhelfiStudios

Audio Engineer + Editor: Art Stone

Producers: Ian Hamilton & Art Stone

Associate Producer: Natalie O'Sullivan Hamilton

Support the show by following us wherever the hell we are: linktr.ee/netherregionpod

You have pulled The Vampire, which reminds you to creak open your coffin, spread those little bat wings, and let yourself fly free! There's a whole underworld down there just begging to be explored! Treat yourself to a nice vacation and more importantly, treat others the way you'd like to be treated. Do what makes you feel good, like tickling the ivories or wearing your favorite power color, and you'll see that demons and humans alike will find you delightful. Pour yourself a nice hot cup of blood and try not to gossip with devil tormentor Art Brimstone, failed comedian Ian Hamilton, and hellbound Matt Griffo!

Credits

Failed Comedian Ian Hamilton: Ian Hamilton

Art Brimstone: Art Stone

David the Vampire: Matt Griffo

Theme Music: Sam Winters

Artwork: Hannah Bess Ross

Hell Soundscape: @MichaelGhelfiStudios

Audio Engineer + Editor: Art Stone

Producers: Ian Hamilton & Art Stone

Associate Producer: Natalie O'Sullivan Hamilton

Support the show by following us wherever the hell we are: linktr.ee/netherregionpod