We finally make it to Junon, a two tier city with poor people on the bottom and military on top. Cloud makes Mr. Dolphin jump for him after performing CPR on a little girl. Then we make it to the parade just in time to mess it all up.

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After making it through the cave and saying hello to the Turks, we discover a tower with a giant bird on top. What is this place? Why do they need our money? Can we help them? Hang on a second… we need to go grind in the woods.

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A new day dawns with a jarring children’s music video that will set the tone for the morning. We eat an extremely unhealthy breakfast, do the dishes, and then get down to business. Can we catch a chicken? What vegetable is the best? Is ChocoBilly a scam artist? The answers to all of these questions are unclear!

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It’s time for the big flashback that explains what this game is all about. Cloud and Sephiroth are in Nibelheim, and Tifa is going to guide them up the mountain to a reactor. But when Sephiroth finds a library full of forbidden knowledge, plans change, and Seph chooses to free Jenova and take over the world or something. So he burns down the village and Cloud goes to confront him. And that’s the end of the story! I’m sure that’s all there is to it too…

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We find the President of Shinra Incorporated is dead! But his son is taking over and he’s even worse. So we escape the building on a motorcycle and a minivan, and finally breathe fresh air for the first time in this game.

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We make our way up through the frustrating puzzle floors of the Shinra building. Who would build a place like this? Working here must suck. Anyway, we eventually find Hojo’s “experiment” on Aeris, and meet Red XIII.

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It’s time to make the big climb from the bottom of society to the absolute top. Can we jump to a bar? Will these stairs ever end? Can we make it to the top? GIVE ME A KEYCARD!

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It’s time to dress Cloud up as a woman and con our way into a “dilettante’s” bedroom. But he’s one step ahead of us with a trap door that leads to a sewer. So we pick ourselves up by the bootstraps and try to stop the Turks from dropping a giant metal plate on the slums. Will we succeed? Find out this week!

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Let’s go grocery shopping and eat breakfast, then start the game! Aeris’s mom wants us to ghost her, so we try to sneak past her bedroom at night… but she catches up to us anyway. We walk through a junkyard, meet a guy who are sick, and finally make it to Wall Market.

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We wake up and head to Final Fantasy school to learn all about save points. Then we blow up another Mako reactor, meet President Shinra, and fight his floor buffer. After that Cloud falls off a bridge, slams through a church roof, and lands directly in Aeris’s heart.

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