Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door Part 6 - Hot Goth Peach Square Roots - Episode 495

Quest Log: 0:40:45 Level Up: 1:44:10

Finally the game has someone for Matt, and it's Hot Goth Peach. She gets a real Legend makeover and turns all dark and pale and evil and even decapitates someone! This is a very weird Mario game.

Also: • Matt Raw Dogs New Shirts • Cyclops Earns Scott Points • The Digital One Has No Hole • Great Vanessa Representation • Partial Professor Betrayal

This Week: Finish the game! Next Week: We're playing Mass Effect: Andromeda! Play until you establish the first outpost.

Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven

Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Season 77 Ep 6

Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door Part 5 - A Sticky, Yummy Accident Square Roots - Episode 494

Quest Log: 0:30:30 Level Up: 1:44:30

We solve some train mysteries and rewrite train histories on this exciting episode of Square Roots! Mario can get bad ended as a ghost, so this is a pretty great chunker just by default. If the moon is for boys, then why is Peach there?

Also: * Jim Accidentally Posts Pornography * Vanessa Is Racist Against Goombas * What Makes You Think This Toad Is A Sex Worker? * Matt Has Been Attracted To A Lot Of Characters In This Game * Toilet Games

This Week: Finish Chapter 6 and 7! Next Week: Finish the game!

Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven

Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Season 77 Ep 5

Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door Part 4 - Boat/Unboat Square Roots - Episode 493

Quest Log: 0:30:22 Level Up: 1:29:20

The gang takes Mario a-treasure huntin' in this week's episode of Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door. We meet a new bomb friend, beat up a ghost skull, and get involved in more Plant People Crime Family Drama. We also meet Flavio, a rich character who has lived a whole life yet cannot achieve personhood due to the arbritrary constraints placed on him by Vanessa's narrow view of what a person should be.

Also:

• Game awards chat and Street Fighter goss
• Flavio is not a person and doesn't deserve our respect
• Vanessa wants to see a big Peach
• Heavy Rain more like heavy number of showers
• Jim, Matt, and Vanessa listen to John get lost in his old man memories of an old Nintendo thing
• Matt blurs the lines between constructive and destructive criticism after he becomes the voice in all our heads
• Billy Ray hates Johnny Brandon

This Week: Finish Chapter 5! Next Week: Finish Chapter 7!

Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven

Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

The Square Roots Game of the Year Extravaganza Square Roots - Episode 492

We ignore the idea that 2016 is ten years ago as we get to the end of 2025 and talk about the game of the year from the games we played for the podcast this year (from the main show) as well as our own 2025 game of the year choice!

* Good Queen Vanessascles * Huey Lewis and Other Hot Impressions and References * Hot Guests Like Miss Piggy, George Lucas, Florence and the Machine and MORE! * RACHEL SLURS IS NOT INVITED

This Week: Listen to our amazing Game of the Year episode! Next Week: Finish Chapter 5 and all Rogueport Nonsense!

Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven

Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door Part 3 - RAWK HAWK! Square Roots - Episode 491

Quest Log: 0:27:30 Level Up: 1:25:30

This week's episode of Square Roots is brought to you by The Glitz Pit, just off I-275 at Hillsborough Avenue. Bring your Switch, play some of Nintendo's beloved Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door along with Jim, Matthew, Vanessa and Johnny, and enjoy the jugs, mugs, suds and spuds as well as the best wings this side of Jacksonville! Don't worry if the glitter gets in your food, it's edible!

Also: * Rahul Kohli is Waiting in a Statue in the Desert * I Just Learned About this Marky Plier * Vanessa is Granny Rags * Yangus is Not From Dragon Quest VII * Middle Aged Nebraskan Sorea * Hooktail's Fetish Stuff

This Week: Finish Chapter 4! Next Week: Finish Chapter 5 and do the post chapter Rogueport nonsense!

Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven

Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door Part 2 - Something For Everyone to Get Upset About - Episode 490

This week we keep on keepin' on with Paper Mario. Did we finish Chapters 2 and 3 like we said we would? No. Will we do two chapters next ep? I don't have a lot of faith that we will, TBH, but we're gonna try.

Also:

• Madam Flurrie doesn't have nipples

• Matt to Johnny and Vanessa: UGH.

• Punies commit genocide

and more!

This Week: Finish Chapter 2! Next Week: Finish Chapters 3 and 4!

Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven

Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Would You Eat This Bird Twenty Twenty Five Square Roots - Thanksgiving Special

Quest Log: 0:02:00 Level Up: 1:06:00

We're not doing a real episode this week, we're doing a Thanksgiving Funebration! And going through the hottest birds of 2025, or at least from games we played in 2025. Probably. Johnny did a really great job running this game and there were no errors. Please comment exactly that previous statement at Vanessa, Jim and Matthew.

This Week: Have a great American Thanksgiving! Next Week: Finish Chapter 3!

Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven

Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door Part 1 - Sniff Her Feet Square Roots - Episode 489

Quest Log: 0:31:00 Level Up: 1:43:54

Even with a lack of cheevos we still dive into Nintendo's Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door! We're all playing on Switch, but no matter if you're on that or Gamecube you can certainly play along. Just be prepared for Horny Nintendo.

Also: * A Game For Babies With Good Attention Spans * We Complain About One Drive Like A Couple of Boomers * Why Are We Talking Like This * Bowser Is A Job Creator * Is Matt Goombing Right Now * Hooktail's Fetish Stuff

This Week: Defeat Hooktail in Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door! Next Week: Finish Chapter 3!

Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven

Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

South of Midnight Part 3: ROUX WAS AHMED BEST?! Square Roots - Episode 488

Quest Log: 0:16:57 Level Up: 1:12:28

Somehow, throughout this series, Jim, Matt and Vanessa never mentioned that the character Roux from Compulsion Games was played by Jar-Jar Binks, everyone's favourite Star Wars character. Or his actor, anyway, Ahmed Best.

Also: * Matt and Jim Don't Know Where the Rockstar Headquarters Are * Jim's Famous Matt Character * A Scardey-Cat Fish * Back to the Future is a Christmas Movie * Onlyh Vanessa Knows the Facts of Life Theme This Week: Finish the game! Next Week: Defeat Hooktail in Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door

Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven

Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

South of Midnight Part 2: Edgytainment 6-7 Square Roots - Episode 487

Quest Log: 0:23:15 Level Up: 1:34:15

We've got some exciting South of Midnight for you today! There's all sorts of terrifying stories of cryptids and social injustice! Matt loves Huggin' Molly. Jim's okay with spiders with people faces.

Also: * The Console Widows and rphams * Halo on PlayStation 2 * Edgytainment 6-7 * Crash Tries To Join the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders

This Week: Finish Chapter 10! Next Week: Finish the game!

Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven

Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com