Heavy Rain: Part 1 - Origammy Square Roots - Episode 477 Quest Log: 0:26:25 Level Up: 2:43:04

Are you ready to be Caged? That's right, it's David Cage time! The notorious director of Quantic Dreams's games! And you all voted for us to play Heavy Rain for some reason when Fable III and Enslaved: Odyssey to the West are right there! But that's okay, we love you just the same. So here's three hours of us talking about a game that for some baffling reason Vanessa and Johnny both seem to love. 

Also: * A Movie Where You Move The Boy Around * Making Fried Chicken Over There? * A Weird French Clown, Not An American Clown * Matt Versus The Dark Knight * There Is Bush In This Game, Kate Bush

This Week: Get through Chapter 12 / leave the motel in Heavy Rain! Next Week: Get through Chapter 25 / End of the Golf Club!

Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven

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Beyond Good & Evil: Part 3 - Vanessa Learns How To Snap Square Roots - Episode 476 Quest Log: 0:36:15 Level Up: 1:54:16

Holy crow! Vanessa, Jim and Matthew have finished Beyond Good & Evil already! And now you can play through with them through the end of the first and last entry in Ubisoft's series, I think we can all agree that means that the one with the swearing monkeys isn't coming out.

Also: * I Don't Know What Happens In This Episode * Jim Hasn't Edited It Yet

This Week: Finish Beyond Good & Evil! Next Week: Get through Chapter 10 / leave the motel in Heavy Rain!

Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven

Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Beyond Good & Evil: Part 2 - Colin Firth is the Dessert Square Roots - Episode 475 Quest Log: 24:55 Level Up: 01:44:45

On this blockbusting episode of Square Roots, Vanessa, Jim and Matthew interrupt their examination of the premise of Mamma Mia! to discuss the Ubisoft classic action adventure game, Beyond Good & Evil!

Also: * Vanessa Isn't Sure How To Pronounce Portcullis, Sue Perkins Is Disappointed * We Need a New Wolf * Lovett versus Lovitz * Menu Navigation: The Challenge of the Game * The Most Handsome Man Deserves to Go First in the Train * Anyone Wearing Green Lipstick Is Not Allowed to be Called Hot * The IRIS Network Substack

This Week: Finish repairing the Beluga! Next Week: Finish Beyond Good & Evil!

Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven

Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Square Roots: The Superman Tangent Square Roots - Episode 474 Hot Gaming Goss: 02:45 Quest Log: 29:45 Level Up: 17:28 Non-Spoiler Review: 38:36 The Spoilery Superlog: 48:35

Matt and Jim decide just not to talk about Beyond Good & Evil after Vanessa's mysterious absence, and instead review the new Superman movie!

Also: * I heard the new Marvel is crazy! * Our friend Artie's new Forgotten Realms cookbook! https://www.dmsguild.com/product/530169/The-Forgotten-Realms-Wiki-Presents-Junipers-Companion-to-Venturesome-Cookery?fbclid=IwY2xjawL0R1pleHRuA2FlbQIxMQABHngl_Zqz2DgslbO9qGKKFLZwnTAwim1-dlvGolTE3CMbstTiK9LaCtNtGd3o_aem_EJSLl4fVUkDowWZV3VAtUw

This Week: Watch the new Superman movie! Next Week: Finish repairing the Beluga!

Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven

Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Beyond Good & Evil: Part 1 - Donkula Square Roots - Episode 473 Quest Log: 29:45 Level Up: 02:13:45

On this incredible first episode of Ubisoft's classic Black & White, Jim, Matt and Vanessa get to play the beloved Jade Empire. Wait. No. Okay it's Beyond Good & Evil, don't trust Matt's lies.

Also: * Johnny’s on BlueOrigin  * Script treatments * Square roots reacts to pig ranking * P’uncle * Touching pigs, touching sheep * Reenacting the movie Pig * Business Casual Podcasting

This Week: Return to Iris headquarters after the factory in Beyond Good & Evil! Next Week: Finish repairing the Beluga!

Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven

Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Enchanted Arms Part 7: The Kind of Walk You Play A Tuba For! Square Roots - Episode 472 Quest Log: 27:15 Level Up: 02:07:48

This is it: we're finished the game that almost broke the podcast! That's right, on this week's Enchanted Arms, we've put the series to bed! The FROM SOFTWARE classic JRPG elicited all sorts of reactions from the Square Roots crew.

Also: * No, Stop! * Just A Bottle Of Brown Spit! * Punch A Newborn Baby! * You Need To Watch A Shonen Anime!

This Week: Finish Enchanted Arms! Next Week: Return to Iris headquarters after the factory in Beyond Good & Evil!

Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven

Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Enchanted Arms Part 6: Dairy Queen is a Sore Subject  Square Roots - Episode 471 Quest Log: 32:20 Level Up: 01:48:40

Don't talk to Matt about Dairy Queen. Or Atsuma and his stupid arm. Heck, I don't think Matt is even enjoying The Mystery Man's hijinks at this point, almost at the end, of Enchanted Arms, the cult classic FROM SOFTWARE JRPG!

Also: * The first podcast  * Everybody gets one pig  * Adult arcades  * Puzzy Corner  * The titular sleep * Equis Dickboy Charlie Merrily

This Week: Defeat the Mystery Man in Graveholm Keep! Next Week: Finish Enchanted Arms!

Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven

Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Enchanted Arms Part 5: Gum Cutters Square Roots - Episode 470 Quest Log: 36:48 Level Up: 01:51:18

This week on Square roots, Matt really, really wants to get Johnny into the Ministry Duck, but it's just not happening. Meanwhile in FROM SOFTWARE's Enchanted Arms, we learn an important lesson about Miyazaki. Also we learn about Tokimune's sex golems, some motivation behind Oboro's actions, Sayaka's secret Dad, and so much more.

Also: * You Gotta Hit That Word So Right * Jim Loves Sticking His Hand In Holes * A Cool Video For Straights * Is Hans Gruber Queer Coded? * MaTT * Those Ducks Are Catholic

This Week: Defeat the Earth Devil Golem! Next Week: Defeat the Mystery Man in Sage's Tower!

Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven

Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Enchanted Arms Part 4: Sweats, Dunce, Pomp and Lil Guy Square Roots - Episode 469 Quest Log: 33:48 Level Up: 01:57:00

We're back on our nonsense! And that nonsense is both the FROM SOFTWARE classic Enchanted Arms *and* the English 80s girl band quintet Toto Coelo. Did Yuki commit the Perfect Crime getting that flute back from the rich old talk show host? Is the secret motivation behind Oboro kidnapping all the women in Kyoto City because they eat cannibal? It's Spy Versus Spy when it turns out that Raigar is NOT a homosexual, and in fact a Powersled who is engaged to a Ninja on the other side of the last war. These are all Toto Coelo songs.

Also: * Please Photoshop Matt's Head On Wolverine * Orgone Sex Energy Is Not Real * "That's getting somebody there." * Scrimpy Is A Powerful Metaphor * It's a Real Dora the Explorer * There Is No Court In Junk Town There Is Only Street Justice 

This Week: Defeat Oboro for the first time!  Next Week: Defeat the Earth Devil Golem!

Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven

Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

2025 Most Anticipated Games! Square Roots - Episode 468

We're taking the week off, which somehow ended up with recording an hour and a half episode where we look through the upcoming games of 2025 and decide which we're into and which we're all like "no thanks, bro!"

Some games that piqued our interest:

* Middle Earth Trad-Wife Simulator * The Definitely Going To Release In October Vampire The Masquerade Bloodlines 2 * Husky Middle Aged Man Child Tries To Walk * Garfield Kart 2: All You Can Drift * Now You See Me Now You Don't

Next Week: Defeat Oboro for the first time! 

Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven

Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com