No Substitutions, Please

Good as hell! Noah and Louisa talk about the smooth and savory sandwich spread that gives lunches and party trays the extra piquancy of facing God.

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Noah: @elderrumbao on Twitter, @[email protected] on Mastodon, @nsmckinnon.bsky.social on BlueSky.

Our theme is Street Food, by FASSounds, and is governed by the Simplified Pixabay License.

Our cover art includes work by artist Kirsty Pargeter.

What's better than a bowl of warm, creamy, sweet, spiced rice? Well, a lot of things—especially if you do it wrong. Noah and Louisa find out how surprisingly easy it is to screw up one of the least onerous dishes they've ever brought up on the show.

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Noah: @elderrumbao on Twitter, @[email protected] on Mastodon, @nsmckinnon.bsky.social on BlueSky.

Our theme is Street Food, by FASSounds, and is governed by the Simplified Pixabay License.

Our cover art includes work by artist Kirsty Pargeter.

Tired of boiled, olive drab, soft and mushy green beans? Why not perk them up the same way Noah and Louisa like to gild every vegetal lily: artfully burn them in hot oil?

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Noah: @elderrumbao on Twitter, @[email protected] on Mastodon, @nsmckinnon.bsky.social on BlueSky.

Our theme is Street Food, by FASSounds, and is governed by the Simplified Pixabay License.

Our cover art includes work by artist Kirsty Pargeter.

From a goat stew in Jalisco to a fried taco in Tijuana, to the food trucks of San Diego and beyond, this complex dish has gained decadence at every stop along the way. Noah and Louisa get into all the different steps and their appurtenant pitfalls and wonders.

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Noah: @elderrumbao on Twitter, @[email protected] on Mastodon, @nsmckinnon.bsky.social on BlueSky.

Our theme is Street Food, by FASSounds, and is governed by the Simplified Pixabay License.

Our cover art includes work by artist Kirsty Pargeter.

Probably not what you expected for an Easter episode! Tofu: good platform for flavors, decent test of your frying skills, and easy target for jokes if you don't feel like making an effort. Noah and Louisa get into the methods, the pairings, and most of all, as always, the human-induced horrors of this versatile food.

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Noah: @elderrumbao on Twitter, @[email protected] on Mastodon, @nsmckinnon.bsky.social on BlueSky.

Our theme is Street Food, by FASSounds, and is governed by the Simplified Pixabay License.

Our cover art includes work by artist Kirsty Pargeter.

Like many other things we've covered, you might wonder how it's possible to screw up putting melted cheese inside a tortilla. Well, as Noah and Louisa have discovered, the simpler a dish gets, the weirder the cooks of the Internet become in response.

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Noah: @elderrumbao on Twitter, @[email protected] on Mastodon, @nsmckinnon.bsky.social on BlueSky.

Our theme is Street Food, by FASSounds, and is governed by the Simplified Pixabay License.

Our cover art includes work by artist Kirsty Pargeter.

Or are they porch chops? The humble, versatile, and wonderful lean cut of pork loin finally gets its due on No Substitutions, Please. Louisa and Noah tell you how to cook it properly, wax poetic about its wide range of accompaniments, and demonstrate that people will refuse to get anything right, no matter how simple.

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Noah: @elderrumbao on Twitter, @[email protected] on Mastodon, @nsmckinnon.bsky.social on BlueSky.

Our theme is Street Food, by FASSounds, and is governed by the Simplified Pixabay License.

Our cover art includes work by artist Kirsty Pargeter.

Who knew a dish this luxurious could be based on simple rice? Well, not just simple rice. You have to get the right kind, and do things in the exactly right order, and pay a lot of attention to what you're doing—unless you use this one neat trick Noah recently acquired. He and Louisa will be happy to inform you of it.

Follow us:

Noah: @elderrumbao on Twitter, @[email protected] on Mastodon, @nsmckinnon.bsky.social on BlueSky.

Our theme is Street Food, by FASSounds, and is governed by the Simplified Pixabay License.

Our cover art includes work by artist Kirsty Pargeter.

Sulfurous and delightful, cruciferous and enjoyable. Noah and Louisa talk about one of the simplest green sides to any dish, and why people keep overcomplicating it.

Follow us:

Noah: @elderrumbao on Twitter, @[email protected] on Mastodon, @nsmckinnon.bsky.social on BlueSky.

Our theme is Street Food, by FASSounds, and is governed by the Simplified Pixabay License.

Our cover art includes work by artist Kirsty Pargeter.

If there's something more decadent than a bowl of liquid chocolate, fortified with dairy and perhaps even flavored with assorted sweets, we should probably keep that knowledge far away from the hands of the people Noah and Louisa talk about in this episode.

Follow us:

Noah: @elderrumbao on Twitter, @[email protected] on Mastodon, @nsmckinnon.bsky.social on BlueSky.

Our theme is Street Food, by FASSounds, and is governed by the Simplified Pixabay License.

Our cover art includes work by artist Kirsty Pargeter.