NOBODY LIKES ONIONS

Patrick is kicking off his day with coffee and an apology to Breonna Taylor. Patrick’s latest foray in to trying to buy a house has failed again due to a poor inspection that revealed a million problems. He quickly recovers though, by making another offer on a new house, but not without it’s compromises. He’s decided to go full basic bitch, purchases a magazine-like home stamped out in a planned community, and the worst part is there is no pool. But Patrick has the solution – he will just build a pool in the small back yard himself. We go over whether or not Rudy Giuliani is a creep in the new Borat movie. There’s two sizes of toilets, Patrick has some of Landry’s old election yard signs, and we remember Polar Pops. There’s too much drama in Las Vegas and Patrick is on the brink of breaking.

Patrick is back from doing shows on the road and is back to hunting for a house. It’s not been going well, but he has an offer in on a new place that is pretty sweet, but it’s missing that sweet natural gas he craves. Patrick is traumatized by the left and baffled by the right, and he doesn’t even know what’s real anymore. He is officially undecided for the upcoming presidential election, and the media spin isn’t making the decision any easier. We stumble over the details of the Breonna Taylor shooting, and probably get it all wrong. What even is happening anymore? Anyway don’t forget to register to vote or whatever.

Patrick sits down with everyones favorite wannabe city councilperson/comedian/activist/grumpy old man, Landry Miller. Landry was good enough to put aside his general disdain for people long enough to sit down with Patrick to talk about doing comedy in pandemic times, this recent alcoholism. Patrick is starting to really hate everyone’s inability to tolerate people with different opinions. Landry has one of the ugliest cars in history. Patrick has some trauma from early camp experiences, including fat camp and Christian camp. Landry tells us about the time he got free donuts from a pay-it-forward chain. Some guy has proven that time travel is theoretically possible. Patrick and Landry both really hate small talk. Someone please pay Landry’s Amazon Web Services bill so he stops getting emails.

Patrick has just finished up a week of work in Tulsa and sits down with comedian Scott Schaffer to bitch about these kids today. Progressing in to straight-up "get off my lawn" territory, the two discuss the state of comedy and the world by basically bitching about people who can't stop bitching. Anyone who posts on social media might be absolutely mentally ill, and blocking people is most definitely a sign of narcissistic dementia.

This content is for OVERDOSE MEMBERS only. Visit the site and login or register to access this content.

Patrick is joined by Roy Johnson in an on-location show from Tulsa, Oklahoma after finishing a week of shows. Patrick hasn’t been on stage in over six months, and is also paralyzed by a crippling fear of COVID-19. Roy recaps the weekend and pontificates to the dismay of the chat room while Patrick takes a very important phone call. Patrick has been house shopping, and the inspector chose now to call and tell him that the house is basically a wreck, and he should run for the hills. It’s a setback, but that’s how the world works these days. Roy and Patrick talk about ways to fix the economy and how the government is breaking it more by handing out dollars. Patrick is bitter about comedians being basic. Roy recounts being assaulted in a bar by an employee which he is hoping leads to a big settlement.

Patrick is excited about the possibility of pivoting to a gamers only podcast. We are proud to announce that we are the only podcast with GeForce RTX graphics. That can’t be, can it? People need to stop worrying about Patrick being poor. It’s all going to work out. We check in on some of the latest insane rants and exclamations from our favorite tinyman, Thai Rivera. Patrick again urges people to stop posting and arguing on Facebook for the sake of your own sanity. Comedy flyers are still awful during the pandemic. Trez Mala is making videos where he literally watches grass grow. Daddy Derek Savage is going banana nuts on YouTube about Jesus and is completely wrong about the origins of heaven. But none of that compares to his new film production, Cool Cat Fights Coronavirus. It’s about a cat that punches virus balls but also a dog that wants to kill children. If only any of that wasn’t true.

Patrick has been busy but that’s not going to stop him from bitching about everything under the sun. SUBtember is here at Twitch so that seems very to tell people about continuously. We reveal that we have a very capable doxxer in our midst. Patrick has lost everything in the stock market and wants your sympathy. We look in to other electric car manufacturers besides Tesla. Elon Musk visited Volkswagen and is trying to steal their secrets. Nikola is insane and they’re just building a truck that looks like every other truck on the road. The Lucid Dream seems alright but who wants to pay two-hundred thousand dollars for a sedan that looks like a Chrysler Sebring? Thai Rivera is upset about Nancy Pelosi. The chat room reminds Patrick about a song he made years ago that is cringe as fuck.

Patrick is back as promised to continue trying to explore other options in the Onionsphere. Patrick has used three cans of hairspray to both illustrate how long it’s been since he’s had any kind of professional grooming, and to make fun of how Trez Mala composes his “look” on the daily. Patrick begins to try to fix some of the audio sync issues, but this turns out to be a fatal downfall in this show. A spiral of technical issues results in the chat turning on Patrick while he tries to get it together, and several rants ensue. Everyone’s favorite fan Steve Curran thinks he’s fixed the problem by making guesses. We finally get shit working and manage to go over a podcast by our old friend Josh Denny.

Join the Overdose to get access to this full show.

This show is an attempt to make everyone happy. We are taking a break from the latest trend of T2 tirades. So much in this show! Patrick talks too much about graphics cards. The final solution for low-carb pizza cravings is revealed. We teach an old fan some new tricks. Patrick tries to give people investment advice, but he has no idea what he’s talking about. The housing market is fucking with Patrick’s ability to be confident in house shopping. Patrick talks about listener-suggested topics, including the new Bill and Ted movie, some show that is supposed to be better than Breaking Bad, and how Dr. Disrespect admits that he is becoming more and more depressed. Patrick has an offer for the Doc, as well as any poor listeners out there.

Patrick continues going over the latest and greatest video podcast from Thai Rivera, Brough to us by the guys he has fooled down at Virtual Vegas studios. While exploring Thai’s sick burns and further social policies, we begin to notice even more contradictions in his personalities. We begin to notice a lot of very oddly-timed cuts in the video, and don’t know whether Thai’s hiding things or just that bad at speaking. For some reason Tha is afraid to say very normal words. Probably a bit of both. After watching him shift in his seat, recount numerous stories that lack relevance, and a little more fake chest puffing, he eventually tires himself out like a baby by forgetting why he was telling a story, grabbing his notebook, and fleeing the stage.