NOBODY LIKES ONIONS

Patrick is back and promising a huge announcement at the end of this show. Fans Paul and Laura from Glasgow, Scotland sit in on this show, and we all start drinking because it’s almost midnight. Paul and Laura recently got married at the MGM Grand by a guy who sometimes dress up as Elvis. Patrick has finally had the smoke detector successfully replaced. Sometimes pooping hurts a lot, and Patrick is going to tell you too much about it before talking about taking a chunk out of his toe. Everyone is stoked about the Mega Millions lottery, but mostly uneducated idiots.

 

Patrick is back in Las Vegas and sits down with Canadian comedian Brad Bryans. Or Bryans Bradley. Or something. We talk about how more money really does lead to more problems, including broken refrigerators, failing batteries, and and incessantly chirping smoke detector. Brad is flying back to Toronto, but not before Patrick picks his brain about Canadian comedy. When is it appropriate to bow to Asian people, and how do they interpret it when you do? Kanye West is pissing people off, and Yoko Ono is wasting John Lennon’s money at an alarming rate and in a shameful fashion.

 

Patrick is doing shows in Boise, Idaho with James Hesky. James opens up about his recent shitting activity, in a classic podcast overshare. We’ve had some weird shows so far, including a woman yelling the N-word during a show and an alpha male that did not appreciate having his woman insulted. James has been walking around Boise eating everything in sight, and we’re going to tell you about it. We come up with Hesky’s new t-shirt march, and tell you about everything in Boise that you need to know about. There’s surprisingly little political bitching in this one.

 

Patrick is in Munich, Germany after a few relaxing weeks of not podcasting to you needy people. He begs your forgiveness and asks that you not hold it against him for taking some time off. Fan Stephen is also sitting in on this show to talk about his recent travels in Italy, where Patrick has also spent the past week. There’s some general recapping of Patrick’s time in Edinburgh and the UK, including food and travel stories. Other things discussed, in no particular order, include the new iPhones and why Androids are still awful, Oktoberfest expectations, and Stephen’s collection of kitchen appliances.

 

Patrick is in NYC drinking with fellow comedian and big-thinker James Hesky. We are clearly drunk and clearly drinking eleven percent alcohol IPA beer. Patrick has a lot of business ideas that probably are complete shit, but you’re going to hear about all of them. Patrick has a major problem with the new Jurassic Park movie. Patrick recounts his experience going to get a pedicure at an Asian foot emporium. We are heading to Boise Idaho in October to do comedy, which might be your only chance to see us together. Most of this is just drunk rambling, and you need to be ok with that.

 

Alex Kool Aid Ansel joins Patrick in the studio to talk about the depressing end of comedy. At least that’s the story of Netflix’s newest darling Nanette, and anti-standup special by Australian comedian Hannah Gadsby. Nanette is not good if you are a white male, and it has the entire mood of the show down. We get a special appearance by James Hesky discussing everything from Nanette to his tits. Patrick and Alex are both members of the #juulgang, the movement encouraging everyone to jump on the Juul vape train. There are so many smoking tips in this one for cool kids.

 

Patrick is in Tulsa hanging out with Roy Johnson for this year’s 4th of July happenings. Not much happened on the fourth because we spent the days leading up to it doing a questionable amount of consuming substances. Roy and Patrick talk a little bit about comedy in the heartland of America, as they do everyone they get together. The basic takeaways are that mumbling on stage is bad and some clubs suck. Patrick almost died the night before this recording and gave everyone a good scare. Roy tries to summon some of the unhappiness of days gone by just to try to fit in with angry Patrick.

 

Comedian and food-writer extraordinaire Jason Harris joins Patrick in the studio. Patrick is livid at the children in his apartment complex and a smoke detector that won’t stop beeping. Jason shares his opinions on some of the latest sexual scandals, including Chris Hardwick. Jason is a big foodie, and we talk about some of the best restaurants in Vegas, and throws in some advice on cannibalism. Never meet your heroes, especially if it’s Tom Green. Patrick thinks reenacting shootings is a pastime that will probably never catch on based on our current sensitivities.

 

Comedian Carmen Lynch joins Patrick in the studio in a sweltering hot Las Vegas. Carmen and Patrick have been busy traveling different ends of the world doing comedy. They discuss their experience at a local taco stand, and Patrick is annoyed by people who can’t seem to get a grip on their simple jobs. Carmen doesn’t know how to eat a burrito. There’s some secret involving Barry Manilow that Carmen won’t get in to for some reason. We also talk about Father’s Day, gross bunny ranch brothel girls, fucking for money as a career, and deciding your own fate for tons of money.

 

Patrick sits down with Moody in New Zealand to talk about all kinds of stuff. Fan Will also joins, as we dive in to the history of New Zealand and find out why Kiwis seem to have such a disdain for Australia and it’s people. Patrick is frustrated that people don’t know how to walk in public. Moody gets taunted about solar roads, but we decide to save it for the aftershow. Moody has introduced Patrick to one of the most covered weirdos on the internet, Christian Chandler. The story behind this guy just keeps getting weirder and weirder the further down the rabbit hole you dive.