Today’s Headlines: Accredited Doctor And Scientist (j/k) RFK Jr Claims US Will Know Cause Of Autism ‘Epidemic’ by September, UK Government developing ‘murder prediction’ tool to help identify people likely to kill, Weezer Bassist Scott Shriner Plans To Play Coachella This Weekend Despite Wife Having Been Shot And Arrested By Police Due To Her Interference With An Unrelated Police Manhunt In Her Neighborhood, NatGeo Debuting New Full Scale Model Of The Titanic In Its Show ‘Titanic: The Digital Resurrection’,  and SNL To Debut British Version Of The Comedy Juggernaut

Plus Today’s Soft-Hitting stories: The GOAT Andy Rosen’s Birthday Is Tomorrow!, Indiana Has A Dog Problem According To The USPS Which Cites 67 Dog Bites Or Attacks Against Its Carriers In 2025 So Far, Canadian Students Held Captive In Apartment For One Week By Angry Canadian Geese, 106 Year Old Woman Challenging Airlines Inability To Recognize Ages Above 100, Louisville Kentucky Restaurant Owner Floods Own Restaurant To Minimize Damage From Rising Dirty Flood Waters, and VIP Field Correspondents Mary And Mal Give Heartwarming Update Of A New Church Connection And Favorite Boise Idaho Eatery

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Chapters:

00:00 Intro

01:20 Headlines

14:18 Andy's Birthday

16:26 Control Your Dogs Indiana

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Soft-Hitting stories: Nasa Offering 3 Mill To Anyone Who Will Help Clean Up Their Human Mess, Hollywood Reporter Releases List Of 20 Sexiest TV Shows Of All Time, Army Reinstating Horse Drawn Caissons For Funerals At Arlington National Cemetery Despite Dark History, Man Urinates On Senior Corporate Executive On Yet Another Air India Flight, Uber Releases Annual Lost And Found Index

Plus Today’s Headlines: Stock Market Rebounds In Big Gains After Most Trump Tariffs Paused For 90 Days, White House Press Secretary Becomes Less Attractive When She States That She Won’t Respond To Journalists Who Include Pronouns In Their Email Signatures, King Charles And Queen Camilla Meet Pope At 20th Wedding Anniversary Celebration, Former First Lady Michelle Obama Snuffs Out Rumors About Her Marriage, and Lebron James Makes History As Mattel’s Newest Ken Doll

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Chapters:

00:00 Intro

03:34 Headlines

12:22 Nasa Poop Problem

18:12 Sexiest TV Shows Of All Time

20:25 Horses Return To Arlington Cemetery

25:14 Air India Urine Problem

30:20 Uber Lost Items List

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Soft-Hitting stories: Geckos Found On New Zealand Island Thought To Be World’s Oldest, Fans Stunned As Parachutist Gets Caught On Stadium Scaffolding At France’s Champions Cup, Mahjongg’s 2025 Card Misprint Leaves Players - And Elizabeth’s Friends - Unsettled, Japanese Community’s Trading Card Game Of Middle Aged Men Go Viral, Massive Meth Lab Busted In Upstate New York With 2 Gallons Plus 3 Ounces Of Meth Oil, Craigslist Ad For Pantyhose Revival Group Almost Hooks Andy 

Plus Today’s Headlines: The Associated Press To Be Reinstated Into White House After Judge Ruling, White House Press Secretary Cites The Not Problematic At All ‘Boys Will Be Boys’ Adage In Response To Immature Behavior By President-Unelect Musk and Trade Secretary, Mega Announces New Safety Measures To Be Put In Place To Help Protect Kids Under 16, Alex Ovechkin Beats Wayne Gretzky’s 26 Year Long Held NHL Goals Record, ‘Adolescence’ Becomes Netflix’s No. 4 Most Popular English Language Series Ever, Perfect Couple Keanu Reeves And Alexandra Grant Share Public Kiss During Cozy Date 

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Chapters:

00:00 Intro

02:41 Headlines

12:29 World’s Oldest Geckos

14:56 Parachutist Crashes Into Stadium

16:27 Mahjongg Mishap

23:10 Middle Aged Man Trading Cards

27:20 Meth Lab Scoop

29:56 Pantyhose

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Soft-Hitting stories:  Frisky Emu That’s Been On The Loose For Nearly A Year Found Flirting With Males During Mating Season, UK Startup Called Deep Gets Sick Website And Wants Humans Living (not that) Deep In Ocean, Maryland Lotto Winner Used Her Odometer Numbers To Score 100K, The Only Scam We Can Get Behind Baits Dorks Into Making AI Swimsuit Models, The Late Steve Irwin’s Son Robert Making Heads Turn With His Snake… Er, Snakes On Set Of An Underwear Shoot, Man Finds Lost Wallet Uses Clever Technique To Ensure Only The Real Owner Could Contact Him

Plus Today’s Headlines: Stock Market Continues Its Nose Dive, REAL ID Requirement To Travel Deadline Looming, Seven Tigers Seized From Nevada Man Who Claims They Are “Emotional Support Animals”, A NY Company Wants To Bring An IFV Alternative To The Fertility Market, Six Days Until First All Women Crew Along With Female Celebrities Heads To Space

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Chapters:

00:00 Intro

02:00 Headlines

13:40 Lost Emu Found

16:07 DEEP Sea Living

20:07 AI Swimsuit Contest

26:31 Robert Irwin's Bonds Campaign

31:02 Wallet Found

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Soft-Hitting stories: San Quentin Inmates Have Heart Warming Reunion With Service Dogs they Trailed As Puppies In Successful Program, Elizabeth And Andy Discover They Have Had The Misfortune Of Enduring The Top Two Official Worst Places To Park In Los Angeles According To List, Iron Age Cache Of Artifacts Found By Metal Detectorist Points To More Bling In The BC’s Than Previously Thought, Home Buyers Back Out Of Contract At 11th Hour Due To Shocking Development Discovered At Final Walk Thru, Toddler Discovered To Have Accidentally Eaten Grandfather’s Ashes

Plus Today’s Headlines: Americans Take To The Streets To Protest Trump and Musk In All 50 States, King Charles Delights Audience At Windsor Castle As He Plays ‘Twinkle Twinkle Little Star’ On a Carrot, Five Nurses On Same Floor At Massachusetts Hospital Diagnosed With Brain Tumors Sparking Investigation, Eminem Becomes Grandfather To Baby Elliot Marshall, Viewers Of Nick Cannon’s Son, Moroccan Cannon’s Twitch Stream Get Surprise Cameo Visit From Famous Mom

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Chapters:

00:00 Intro

03:30 Headlines

13:25 Prison Puppy Program

17:48 Worst LA Parking Lots

21:28 Iron Age Treasure 

27:34 Home Buyer Nightmare

32:34 Toddler Eats Grandpa

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Soft-Hitting stories: Rats Have Better Access To Birth Control In Chicago Than Humans, Japanese Politician Receives Over 8K Death Threats For Proposing Access To Free Sanitary Products In Toilets, KFC and HiSmile Take April Fools Prank To Market, Young Girl Convinces Department Store To Add Pockets To Girls Trousers,  Women Now Hold All Top Leadership Positions In Iceland, Field Correspondents Mary and Malcolm Have Strong Political Feelings And Are Going To A Movie

Plus Today’s Headlines: US Stocks See Worst Day Since Covid Hit Due To Trump Tariffs, OnlyFans Founder Hoping To Take US Control Of Tik Tok, US Government Dictates That American Government Employees Are Forbidden From Romantic Relationships With Chinese Citizens, Asteroid Formerly Feared Now Has Zero Probability Of Hitting Earth But Moon Still An Option, Elizabeth Gives Synopsis Of Upcoming Film Releases Including Freaky Tales, Hell Of A Summer, and A Nice Indian Boy

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Chapters:

00:00 Intro

01:36 Headlines

06:38 Elizabeth's Movie Picks

11:32 Rat Birth Control

14:41 Free Sanitary Product In Japan

18:03 KFC and HiSmile Collab

20:08 UK Girl Fixes Pants

21:48 Icelandic Women Rule

24:16 Boise Field Report

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Soft-Hitting stories: Surprising Fugitive Nabbed In Australia After Dog Alerted Homeowner, Former Nasa Employee Dishes The Real Freaky Deaky About Space Sex, Scientists Develop Self Healing Gel Inspired By Human Skin, UK Community Center Offers Unusual Babysitting Service for… Sourdough Starters, And Restaurant Reviewer Doesn’t Hold Back Covering Breakfast Meal In Colorado

Plus Today’s Headlines: Trump’s Liberation Day Tariff Coverage Strikes Different Tones Amongst Liberal And Conservative Outlets, Increasing Number Of Voters Feel Rich Not Paying Enough Taxes, Val Kilmer Sadly Passed Away, New Study Shows Even Wealthiest Americans Face Shorter Lifespans Than European Counterparts, Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson Co-Writing True Crime Book Connected To Martin Scorsese Movie

If you have a soft hitting news story to share please reach out! 

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Follow Nobody’s News

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Check out our other show, Nobody’s Listening, Right?

Chapters:

00:00 Intro

01:35 Headlines

09:52 Surprising Fugitive

11:50 Space Sex

18:03 Robot Skin

21:13 Sourdough Babysitters

24:45 An Honest Restaurant Review

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Soft-Hitting stories: Self Help Guru Who Served Time For Sedona Sweat Lodge Deaths Dies Suddenly, Urbandale Iowa Policeman Performs Life Saving CPR Touted A Hero, Baldwin Kansas Baseball Bat Maker Eyes The Big Leagues, and Field Correspondent Andy Covers National USPS Betty White Commemorate Stamp Unveiling At LA Zoo!

Plus Today’s Headlines: Donald Trump Expected To Institute Sweeping Tariffs On Imports In White House Rose Garden Announcement He’s Dubbed “Liberation Day”,  Only Fans Sued By Subscribers For Being Led To Believe They Were Interacting With Content Creators When It Was In Fact Hired Impersonators, Beloved Khaki Wearer Stever Kornacki Leaving MSNBC, Hooters Files For Bankruptcy In Attempt To Rebrand As Family Friendly,  Maria Shriver Says Son Patrick Is Nothing Like His ‘White Lotus’ Character And Has Taken Acting Lessons

If you have a soft hitting news story to share please reach out! 

or send us a link at [email protected]

Follow Nobody’s News

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Check out our other show, Nobody’s Listening, Right?

Chapters:

00:00 Intro

01:36 Headlines

12:50 Sedona News

15:52 Guinea Pig CPR

20:13 Jaw Bats

22:57 Betty White Stamp Debut Field Piece

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Soft-Hitting stories: New Study Shows Trees Can Adapt To Human Created Climate Change, Monica Lewinsky Shares Her Guide To The Perfect April Fool’s Prank, World’s Longest Tongue Plays Jenga, A Portland Pee Mystery Leads Us To Allege It’s Not A Mystery After All, and Oregonians Must Remove Studded Tires Today To Avoid Hefty Fines

Plus Today’s Headlines: Stock Market Looking Sad Due To Uncertainty About Tariffs, French Far Right Leader Marine Le Pen Banned From Running For Office After Guilty Verdict, A Stroke Survivor Speaks Again Thanks To Groundbreaking Brain Computer Implant, Tom Hanks Other Son, Chet, Releases New Song Spoofing Forrest Gump  

If you have a soft hitting news story to share please reach out! 

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Follow Nobody’s News

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Check out our other show, Nobody’s Listening, Right?

Chapters:

00:00 Intro

01:42 Headlines

11:41 Trees Are Adapting

13:58 Monica Lewinsky’s Best April Fools Pranks

20:39 World's Longest Tongue

22:58 Portland Urine Mystery

28:29 Oregon PSA

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Soft-Hitting stories: Eighty Thousand Lbs Of Stolen Beef Leave Tennessee Authorities Scratching Their Heads, New Jersey Police Chief Makes Work Environment A Living Nightmare Brushes It Off As Pranks, Beloved Bagpiper’s Death Leads To Surprising Discovery Of Son’s Skeleton In Treehouse, Ford Executive Shares Decades Long Log Kept Of Coworkers Verbal Flubs In Retirement Announcement, Surprising Antidote To Divorce Might Be… Donuts?

Plus Today’s Headlines: Trump Not Joking About A Possible Third Term, Half US States Outlaw Devices That Turn Pistols Into Machine Guns, Gavin Newsom Sparks Backlash After Statement He Made On Bill Maher Show, Scientists Develop Injectable Long-Lasting Contraceptive Implant, Helen Mirren Doesn’t Want A Female James Bond As The Character Was Born Out Of Sexism

If you have a soft hitting news story to share please reach out! 

or send us a link at [email protected]

Follow Nobody’s News

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Check out our other show, Nobody’s Listening, Right?

Chapters:

00:00 Intro

01:34 Headlines

15:52 National Bunsen Burner Day

16:27 Where's The Beef?

19:42 NJ Police Chief 

25:31 Bag Piper Questions

30:02 Ford Exec Tracks Verbal Flubs

33:12 Donuts And Divorce

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