It's officially first semester energy, and Hannah is tackling it like a college kid doing their first keg stand of the school year. This week, she shares all her hot girl non-negotiables heading into fall, from the two-minute hack that will make you feel hotter at the gym, to tangible ways to streamline your work week and make it (almost) crashout proof. In true Not Aspirational fashion, she also cries about her upcoming nostalgia-core tattoo, delivers her unfiltered thoughts on Coyote vs. Acme, and expresses genuine concern for the viral Corn Kid of 2022 (DOES ANYONE HAVE EYES ON HIM?!). If you're looking for tips ranging from wellness to whimsy with a side of pre-menstrual tears, strap in and press play. Don't say we didn't warn you!!!

Hannah's 2-Minute Gym Face Tutorial

Hannah's 2-Minute Gym Face Products

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This week, Hannah is fighting the LA heatwave and coping with Dolly Parton-induced grief the only way she knows how: talking sh*t. She marvels at a recent encounter with a shockingly unfriendly Trader Joe's employee, dishes on Belmont Cameli's new Starbucks commercial, delivers shockingly wise tips on how to nail a networking event, and introduces the easy at-home self-care hack you never knew you needed: spa showers and cosmic space showers. Turn on the shower, light a candle, and press play on that Enya playlist. It's hot girl o'clock in more ways than one (THANKS TO THIS DAMN HEAT).

Check out Hannah on the most recent episode of Uncover Girl

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Hannah is back, solo and unfiltered as ever! This week, she shares behind-the-scenes scoop from the FYC Summer House Panel (and it's juicy), weighs in on Bethenny Frankel's cheug-tastic Supermodel Cafe, and makes a completely unapologetic case for why Jon Bernthal taboo romance edits are the fantasy she never knew she needed. Grab your emotional support beverage, get cozy, and prepare to feel seen, because this is a lol-forward, judgment-free zone (unless you're Bethenny Frankel and/or drive a BMW).

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This week, Hannah is solo and (a shock to no one), revealing far too much. From her unbridled lust for Joe Jonas in a cowboy hat to a humiliating tale from childhood, not to mention her continued annoyance with Taylor Swift, Hannah is coming in overheated and chaotic as ever. Come for the embarrassing stories, stay for the lols.

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This week, Hannah is joined by friend of the pod Troy McEady for a good ole' fashioned pop culture trauma dump! They dive into the nichest corners of Troy's TikTok algorithm, celebrate hot girl icon Gina Gershon, and bond over their mutual obsession (pun very much intended) with the horror film renaissance taking Hollywood by storm. They also share their unfiltered thoughts on the Hulu house of horrors that is House of Stassi, and trust, they are not holding back. Roll out your sleeping bag and prepare to say Bloody Mary three times in the mirror…this is the unhinged sleepover you never knew you needed!

TIMESTAMPS:

Welcome & Warmup: 1:26

The Horror Film Renaissance: 24:34

House of Stassi: 39:28

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Beyond the Blinds

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Mercury in retrograde is OVER and Hannah is coming at you older, hotter, and wiser than ever! She recaps her epically unhinged birthday weekend (including the surprisingly niche movie that came to mind in a champagne-induced haze), therapizes herself (and hopefully listeners!) with fresh insights from friend of the pod Dr. JD Barton and the ever present Dr. Dr., tells the riveting tale of the time she waited on Protozoa (!!!), and shares her unfiltered thoughts on The Valley reunion looks. Put on your weighted vest and take it to the streets hot girls, this one has a little bit of everything.

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HAPPY LEO SZN, HOT GIRLS! Hannah's birthday is around the corner and she's taking the opportunity to reflect on everything she's learned up until now (heavy on the people pleasing recovery). She shares her birthday plans, her hard-earned glow-up tips, the secret to becoming the happiest version of yourself, and naturally doesn't miss the opportunity to compare Matty Healy and Taylor Swift's weddings (because literally why would she). Pop the champagne, wear something hot, and take a walk on the wild side! It's time to channel our fiery energy and get whatever tf we want. ✨🎂

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Hannah has returned from her travels as a husk of her former self, and lucky for you, she doesn't have the energy to hold back. She shares her unfiltered takes on Taylor Swift's wedding, defends Hilary Duff's new Bath & Body Works ad, and delivers a brand new hot girl mindset shift courtesy of Dr. Dr. that might just change your life. Money can't buy you class, but it CAN buy you therapy, and isn't that fun? Press play and don't be mad! ILY!

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This week, Hannah is answering all your burning questions, and she's not holding back (I mean, duh). She shares her favorite hot girl summer recipes, gives a pep talk for anyone navigating the job market, and dives into how she finds the motivation to stay on her wellness BS when she'd rather couch rot and watch 12 consecutive hours of Love Island. ENJOY!

Low Cal Frozen Smores Recipe

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Mercury is officially in retrograde, Hannah is more unhinged than ever and tbh, it shows! This week, she recaps the explosively chaotic last few episodes of Love Island, shares highlights from her recent Palm Springs trip including the hotel pool of her dreams, and spirals into a full-blown Fourth of July outfit crisis while (a shock to no one) oversharing every step of the way. Grab your emotional support hot dog, settle in, and sorry in advance.

CLR Candle from when Hannah watched Pearl Harbor

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Morphe Lipstick in Ballet (Kate Moss for Rimmel 42 dupe)

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