Not Quite Dead

More vampires for you to sink your teeth into coming in less than two weeks.

Support the show: https://patreon.com/hangingslothstudios

Transcript Below

ALFIE: Recording for posterity, I guess.

At some point in the last few days, I don’t know when, I can’t remember because--

It doesn’t matter why. But I drank approximately 1 litre of vampire blood, with a view to. In an attempt to. Because I was trying to become a vampire.

I did this because-- because otherwise I was going to die. I didn’t make this change lightly, I wasn’t coerced, and I’m not dead, and I think-- I think it’s worked, but it’s like. It’s not as total a transformation as I was expecting. I’m… well. I’m definitely different. I feel like I could snap a tree. But also my entire body hurts and my throat feels like it’s on fire and it has since-- well. Since I ran out of the blood bags in the fridge. I even tried drinking some saline but--

ALFIE LAUGHS

Yeah that didn’t help, didn’t help!

There are no studies about this. No records of the change. I recorded what happened after I drank the blood, but I’ve not listened back to it yet. Maybe I should have had a video feed or something, but I… I don’t know.

I can feel the places I was injured before. It’s less pronounced, for sure, but I can still feel them. It’s like. I don’t know. It’s like it’s not happened all at once. I don’t know what I was expecting. It’s pretty dramatic but--

Mmmf.

It doesn’t feel total. It doesn’t feel complete. I don’t know how to articulate this.

I can smell every person in this apartment building and oh god.

It’s so odd because they don’t smell different than they would have before, you know, I can smell a small and it’s the smell of people. Obviously I couldn’t smell anyone through walls and ceilings before so there’s that but also like. They smell. Good. Appetising.

Saying they smell like food is missing something fundamental about how much like people they smell, they do not smell like a roast dinner or something they smell the same as they did before only now? Now I want to eat them.

Not Quite Dead is back, with spin-off series Snow Blood. Set years after the original story, Snow Blood follows Alfie and Neige as they attempt to start to build a better life for themselves and vampires everywhere. One problem; none of the other vampires want to help, and there is this guy who keeps calling, over and over, insisting Alfie comes to meet him... Snow Blood is crowdfunding on Kickstarter from 7th April to 8th May, 2026 and will air in October 2026.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

You can be a part of bringing this magical world to life by supporting the show on IndieGoGo! Become a part of the mayhem, mischief, madness and magic of the Twelvelms Conspiracy today.

Support on IndieGoGo: https://igg.me/at/twelvelms

Find out more: https://twelvelms.com/

Transcript for this trailer: https://hangingslothstudios.com/trailer-introducing-the-twelvelms-conspiracy/

Nestled in the hills and trees of the North of England is a tiny town, invisible to passing hikers and planes flying overhead. Twelvelms is part of a secret world just out of sight of the one we all live in; a dangerous magical world full of curses and spells beyond our imagination, and hidden histories which loop and twist like the knotted roots of ancient trees. With rewards on offer including a prospectus for Twelvelms University which is jam-packed with detail and world-building, an immersive journalling experience which will provide you with a journalling activity once a month for entire year, welcome boxes filled to the brim with Twelvelms goodies, and a lite RPG discord server run by the creator of the show, there’s something for everyone. The campaign has also built carbon off-setting into the production budget, so you know we care about the planet as well as the podcast!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

That is the question. Alfie’s tale finally catches up with the present, and he makes his choice.

Transcript: https://hangingslothstudios.com/nqd-14/

If you liked this show about vampires and want to hear more, support the show by signing up on Patreon and getting early access plus bonus content! Sign up here from just £2 a month: https://www.patreon.com/hangingslothstudios

This show is a work of horror fiction frequently places characters in situations which jeopardise their psychological and physical health. In addition, listeners should be aware that this show contains the following throughout:

- profanity

- references to sex

- frequent violence

- traumatic injury

- death, including violent death

- references to medical procedures

- hospital settings

- discussion of violent deaths

- descriptions of human bodies decaying

- heavy descriptions of blood and blood drinking

- heavy descriptions of the processes of death and dying

- descriptions of medical treatment 

- threats of violence

- references to murder

- mentions of suicide

- coughing and labored breathing

- sounds of a character in distress and physical pain

EIRA: Not Quite Dead is written, performed, and edited by Eira Major, under a Creative Commons 4.0 Attribution License. Guest performance of Aaron Wolfe as Casper and Alex Peilober-Richardson as Haley. Live, laugh, bite.

Not Quite Dead is back, with spin-off series Snow Blood. Set years after the original story, Snow Blood follows Alfie and Neige as they attempt to start to build a better life for themselves and vampires everywhere. One problem; none of the other vampires want to help, and there is this guy who keeps calling, over and over, insisting Alfie comes to meet him... Snow Blood is crowdfunding on Kickstarter from 7th April to 8th May, 2026 and will air in October 2026.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this penultimate episode of Season One, Alfie's story almost connects with the present, and he is forced to finally make the decision he's been trying to reckon with since he started make these recordings. 

Transcript: https://hangingslothstudios.com/nqd-13/

Or: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1NbbmCL8q_hSJHowlf7G3jYzQyEcE6tBM7LTMQqNnnfw/edit?usp=sharing

Support the show by signing up on Patreon and getting early access plus bonus content! Sign up here from just £2 a month: https://www.patreon.com/hangingslothstudios

This show is a work of horror fiction frequently places characters in situations which jeopardise their psychological and physical health. In addition, listeners should be aware that this show contains the following throughout:

- profanity

- references to sex

- frequent violence

- traumatic injury

- death, including violent death

- references to medical procedures

- hospital settings

- discussion of violent deaths

- descriptions of human bodies decaying

- scenes of a sexual nature

- heavy descriptions of blood and blood drinking

- threats of violence

- references to murder

EIRA: Not Quite Dead is written, performed, and edited by Eira Major, under a Creative Commons 4.0 Attribution License. Guest performance of Aaron Wolfe as Casper. Live, laugh, bite.

Not Quite Dead is back, with spin-off series Snow Blood. Set years after the original story, Snow Blood follows Alfie and Neige as they attempt to start to build a better life for themselves and vampires everywhere. One problem; none of the other vampires want to help, and there is this guy who keeps calling, over and over, insisting Alfie comes to meet him... Snow Blood is crowdfunding on Kickstarter from 7th April to 8th May, 2026 and will air in October 2026.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week, Alfie describes fates worse than death, and muses on the horrible feeling of waiting for something to happen. 

Transcript: https://hangingslothstudios.com/nqd-12/

Or: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1bBLeEd-yyR_27mPUj_tAMnoZ5HZHG84Vr5kbVEtgxjs/edit?usp=sharing

This show is a work of horror fiction frequently places characters in situations which jeopardise their psychological and physical health. In addition, listeners should be aware that this show contains the following throughout:

- profanity

- references to sex

- frequent violence

- traumatic injury

- death, including violent death

- references to medical procedures

- hospital settings

- discussion of violent deaths

- scenes of sexual nature

- descriptions of decay

- descriptions of blood 

- descriptions of panic attacks

Not Quite Dead is written, performed, and edited by Eira Major, under a Creative Commons 4.0 Attribution License. Live, laugh, bite.

Not Quite Dead is back, with spin-off series Snow Blood. Set years after the original story, Snow Blood follows Alfie and Neige as they attempt to start to build a better life for themselves and vampires everywhere. One problem; none of the other vampires want to help, and there is this guy who keeps calling, over and over, insisting Alfie comes to meet him... Snow Blood is crowdfunding on Kickstarter from 7th April to 8th May, 2026 and will air in October 2026.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Alfie reckons with some of the more troubling aspects of what it means to be dating a vampire, if dating is really what you can call what's going on with him and Casper, and in resisting the strange complications of the ways he has changed, is forced into a gruesome situation. 

Transcript: https://hangingslothstudios.com/nqd-11

Or: https://docs.google.com/document/d/13Om1tiBJ-lAszEHlGG8PCVyoQA93_vLDp9w4vLLt7kM/edit?usp=sharing

Support the show on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/posts/early-access-to-79596059?utm_medium=clipboard_copy&utm_source=copyLink&utm_campaign=postshare_creator&utm_content=join_link

Transcript: https://hangingslothstudios.com/nqd-8/

Please bear in mind that this show is a work of horror fiction and frequently places characters in situations which jeopardise their psychological and physical health. In addition, listeners should be aware that this show contains the following throughout:

– profanity

– references to sex

– frequent violence

– traumatic injury

– death, including violent death

– references to medical procedures

– hospital settings

– mentions of blood

Episode Specific Content Warnings: 

- discussion of violent deaths

- references to sex

- depictions and descriptions of violent deaths

- heavy descriptions of blood 

- heavy descriptions of decay

Not Quite Dead is written, performed, and edited by Eira Major, under a Creative Commons 4.0 Attribution License. Live, laugh, bite.

Not Quite Dead is back, with spin-off series Snow Blood. Set years after the original story, Snow Blood follows Alfie and Neige as they attempt to start to build a better life for themselves and vampires everywhere. One problem; none of the other vampires want to help, and there is this guy who keeps calling, over and over, insisting Alfie comes to meet him... Snow Blood is crowdfunding on Kickstarter from 7th April to 8th May, 2026 and will air in October 2026.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Alfie reckons with the details of his own demise, and also recounts what happened in the days following Casper's near-deadly mistake.

Transcript available here: https://hangingslothstudios.com/nqd-10

And here: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1K_FqHTgRRBENyW7hxoIzS6ft6Ah4-I-he_8dDGTs9hw/edit?usp=sharing

To support the show and get access to episodes one day early support us on patreon at https://patreon.com/hangingslothstudios

This show is a work of horror fiction frequently places characters in situations which jeopardise their psychological and physical health. In addition, listeners should be aware that this show contains the following throughout:

- profanity

- references to sex

- frequent violence

- traumatic injury

- death, including violent death

- references to medical procedures

- hospital settings

- discussion of violent deaths

- mentions of fever, illness and unconsciousness

- references to sex

- references of blood and blood drinking

- references to murder

- non-specific references to historical implied domestic abuse

Not Quite Dead is written, performed, and edited by Eira Major, with guest voice actor Alex Peilober-Richardson, under a Creative Commons 4.0 Attribution License. Live, laugh, bite.

Not Quite Dead is back, with spin-off series Snow Blood. Set years after the original story, Snow Blood follows Alfie and Neige as they attempt to start to build a better life for themselves and vampires everywhere. One problem; none of the other vampires want to help, and there is this guy who keeps calling, over and over, insisting Alfie comes to meet him... Snow Blood is crowdfunding on Kickstarter from 7th April to 8th May, 2026 and will air in October 2026.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Alfie faces the reality of his current situation, and discusses the other vampires in York. 

Transcript available here: https://hangingslothstudios.com/nqd-9

And here: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1kCEgiJBBS27x1lO6cyQ5VzINVAIHsfthWJ3fNv4gDlY/edit?usp=sharing 

To support the show and get access to episodes one day early support us on patreon at https://patreon.com/hangingslothstudios

This show is a work of horror fiction frequently places characters in situations which jeopardise their psychological and physical health. In addition, listeners should be aware that this show contains the following throughout:

- profanity

- references to sex

- frequent violence

- traumatic injury

- death, including violent death

- references to medical procedures

- hospital settings

- discussion of violent deaths

- scenes of a sexual nature

- heavy descriptions of blood and blood drinking

- threats of violence

- references to murder

Not Quite Dead is written, performed, and edited by Eira Major, under a Creative Commons 4.0 Attribution License. Live, laugh, bite.

Not Quite Dead is back, with spin-off series Snow Blood. Set years after the original story, Snow Blood follows Alfie and Neige as they attempt to start to build a better life for themselves and vampires everywhere. One problem; none of the other vampires want to help, and there is this guy who keeps calling, over and over, insisting Alfie comes to meet him... Snow Blood is crowdfunding on Kickstarter from 7th April to 8th May, 2026 and will air in October 2026.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Alfie and Casper find ways to move forward from their complicated beginnings, but neither of them are exactly happy with the solutions presented. Still, there are benefits for them both as well as drawbacks.

Support the show on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/posts/early-access-to-79596059?utm_medium=clipboard_copy&utm_source=copyLink&utm_campaign=postshare_creator&utm_content=join_link

Transcript: https://hangingslothstudios.com/nqd-8/

Please bear in mind that this show is a work of horror fiction and frequently places characters in situations which jeopardise their psychological and physical health. In addition, listeners should be aware that this show contains the following throughout:

– profanity

– references to sex

– frequent violence

– traumatic injury

– death, including violent death

– references to medical procedures

– hospital settings

– mentions of blood

Episode Specific Content Warnings: 

– discussion of violent deaths

– scenes of a sexual nature

– heavy descriptions of blood and blood drinking

– Descriptions of decaying flesh

– Description of violent assault

– threats to kill or harm others

– mentions of murder

EIRA: Not Quite Dead is written, performed, and edited by Eira Major, under a Creative Commons 4.0 Attribution License. Live, laugh, bite.

Not Quite Dead is back, with spin-off series Snow Blood. Set years after the original story, Snow Blood follows Alfie and Neige as they attempt to start to build a better life for themselves and vampires everywhere. One problem; none of the other vampires want to help, and there is this guy who keeps calling, over and over, insisting Alfie comes to meet him... Snow Blood is crowdfunding on Kickstarter from 7th April to 8th May, 2026 and will air in October 2026.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Alfie describes the early days of his time with Casper, the confusion and conflict bound up in it all. They're bound by blood and it goes both ways; Casper cannot leave anymore than Alfie can. So where is Casper now, when Alfie needs him more than ever? 

Support the show on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/posts/early-access-to-79596059?utm_medium=clipboard_copy&utm_source=copyLink&utm_campaign=postshare_creator&utm_content=join_link

Transcript: https://hangingslothstudios.com/what-are-we/

Or: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1da0Be9ZlGtFuUwsWL0PZlKM9KqGYWueBcJy0UNTgc78/edit?usp=sharing

Please bear in mind that this show is a work of horror fiction and frequently places characters in situations which jeopardise their psychological and physical health. In addition, listeners should be aware that this show contains the following throughout:

– profanity

– references to sex

– frequent violence

– traumatic injury

– death, including violent death

– references to medical procedures

– hospital settings

– mentions of blood

Episode Specific Content Warnings: 

• Descriptions of blood
• Threats of death and harm
• Descriptions of decaying flesh
• Descriptions of the experience of a panic attack (describing the feelings felt during the panic attack including racing heart, breathlessness, and panic)
• Mentions of hospitals
• Alcohol use
• Description of violent assault
• Scenes of a sexual nature

Not Quite Dead is back, with spin-off series Snow Blood. Set years after the original story, Snow Blood follows Alfie and Neige as they attempt to start to build a better life for themselves and vampires everywhere. One problem; none of the other vampires want to help, and there is this guy who keeps calling, over and over, insisting Alfie comes to meet him... Snow Blood is crowdfunding on Kickstarter from 7th April to 8th May, 2026 and will air in October 2026.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.