Secretaries, Ex-Boyfriend’s Daddies, and Job Hunting, oh my! 

This week we are finding the limit and playing within it. Yayy! It’s praise kinks! Now get on your knees as we read Praise by Sara Cate. Daddy likes it when you do as you’re told. Join our Patreon and give us money. That’s our good lil smut.

Bowing, Mewling, and Arching, oh my! 

The Gods have arrived and they are ready to fight for your vaginas…but only after global warming. Do you taste sounds, command shadows, and have a burning sensation in your fingers? Well sounds like you have…hemorrhoids. Please consult your doctor before sacrificing yourself in a universal war that makes no sense but leads to a sex scene so we’re rolling with it. This is gibberish. This is nonsensical. This is… fantasy. You're welcome.  

Oh yeah…and the book is Shadow and Ice by Gena Showalter (aka Christine Feehan’s BFF).

Shotguns, Shower Heads, and Buttholes, oh my! 

A dinosaur called Big Al walks into a bar. Knock Knock. It’s his 7 foot d*ck. Protect your extremities. Welcome to another episode of Not Your Mother’s Book Club where this week we read Wet Hot Allosaurus Summer by Lola Faust. Also Mikayla traumatizes Dharma with a horrifying tale. We will leave you with this: “Gentlemen, when history calls you to leave your mark, they didn’t mean a Skidmark, so DO BETTER.” -Kincardine 

Serenity, Passion, and Surrender, oh my!

Welcome back, smutz, to another season of chaos! Mikayla’s celibate and Dharma has a Southern drawl. What’s new? When the clock strikes midnight…you know what happens. Sex. No shoes left behind as we read Cinderfella by Linda Jones. Were they slip-on? Did they fit? Is he gay? Tune in to find out. 

Funnies, Out-takes, and Rants, oh my!

New year. Same chaos.

Magic, Mistletoe, and Moaning, oh my!

You must have all been extra naughty this year to deserve what you're about to hear. Finishing off 2022 strong with our longest, most unhinged, and chaotic bonus episode of all time. Buckle your belts and secure your Santa hats because Old Saint Nick is filling you with his holiday cheer and peppermint stuffing. You'll be ho ho ho-ing and oh no no-ing while we read Santa Claus is Going to Town On Me by M.L. Eliza.

Pebbles, Boulders, and Stones, oh my! 

Happy Halloween you ghouls! It’s monster season so we’re bringing you Titan: A Gargoyle Daddy Dom Romance by Jillian Graves. Will this monster have you doing the mash or time warping away? Bonus question…what does a gargoyle's semen look like? Wanna know? Hit play if you dare.  

Winter, Buffets, and Livestock, oh my! 

We ‘tis thee farewell. Leaving you with Jasmine Haynes’ Past Midnight. Will this throwback be just as good as we remember or have we been forever scarred by sexy priests, hot uncles and blue barbarians…oh my. We know you are gonna cry lots because you’ll miss us but never fear…your mistresses are always here. Like Santa…we know when you are sleeping. We know when you're awake. We know if you’ve been bad or good. So go have an orgasm, for goodness sake. Bye Smutz! Till next time.  

Actions, Speak, Louder, oh my!

This week we are listening to the lesbians. Join us as we read Delilah Green Doesn’t Care by Ashley Herring Blake. There’s a reason women are better at everything and we are going to demonstrate why. It took us a while but we finally got the ladies on board…and once you go lesbian…you never go back. Book your one way ticket to Vagina Town here!  

Men Written by Women, oh my!

It’s our first regency novel of the season and Tessa Dare came to impress with A Week to be Wicked. Are we getting romanced by the rake or raked by the romance? Me thinks thy orgasm shant hypothesize no longer. Confused? Oh don’t be…Lord Colin’s got you.