Mirrors, Cracks, and Thumbs, oh my! 

What do billionaires and vampires have in common? Book deals. Your smuts are back at it this week with Bared to You by Sylvia Day. Will these rich people live to rich another day or will their mediocre issues consume us all? We love a rhetorical question. 

Ridges, Knobs, and Tails, oh my! 

This week’s episode is ribbed for your pleasure. Join us as we read Ice Planet Barbarians by Ruby Dixon. Will this alien have you screaming in pain or screaming in pleasure? Either way, we’re shooting for the stars and landing among the evolved peni…penises? Science.

Texans, Fashionistas, and Plumbers, oh my! 

We’re back Smutz! Fresh off the dick. Ready to please and traumatize our favorite smutz for another season! Our first episode back we are bringing back the one and only Yvonne Lindsay with her book, Marriage by Contract. Are you ready to sign on the dotted line cause our settlement will only include a Texan gentleman.  

Premiers, Patreon, and Merch, oh my!

Support your favourite mistresses and get so many perks in return! You can become a DP at patreon.com/notyourmothersbookclub

Donkeys, psychics, and sergeants, oh my!

Ho, ho, ho, hoes! Happy Holidays to all our smutz. Hope you were all naughty this year. For this extra special holiday episode, we read Yule Be Mine by Lori Foster. The reindeer are in hiding and the donkeys are out to play.

Impaled, ballooned, and reflected, oh my!

We're back, Smutz, and spookier than ever! Did you really think we'd abandon you on the sexiest holiday of the year? Welcome to your worst nightmare. For this very special Halloween episode, we will be reading Touch of Evil by C.T. Adams and Cathy Clamp. Is she sexy or is she spooky? Listen if you dare. Do you have the guts?

Cars, Christ, and cum, oh my!

Don't be sad smutz, for this too shall pass. This isn't goodbye, it's see you later. It's not you, it's us. We gotta go our own way. But before we end our season, we will leave you with one more orgasm served on a silver platter by Jasmine Haynes' Past Midnight. Let's drive off into the sunset together, cock in fist. See you next Valentine's Day. Rub one out for us. We bless thy screaming climax. 

CW: From 11:30-12:40, the death of a child is described.

This week on Let's Have a Quickie, we read a listener submission! We have titled it "Sunday Morning Cunnilingus." Enjoy, smutz!

Fluids, juices, and geysers, oh my!

It's another episode of episodic episodes and some episodes. Thus marks the conclusion of all things corona virus. Bid thee farewell and blessed be. For all funeral information please email [email protected]. The email will bounce. In the name of the Billy, the Billy, and the Billy Mungus. Amen.

Finland, France, and flying, oh my!

Guess who's back back back again? Did you really think we'd end the season without consulting the Ferret Queen herself? M.J. Edwards is back baby with her third and hopefully final book in the infamous series, Kissing the Corona Virus 3: The Mutant Strain. Have your vomit bags at the ready 'cause this book will have you soaring miles high. Please direct all complaints to [email protected] where they will be acknowledged but never dealt with.