Notes on Vulnerability

What does it take for a man raised inside a deeply patriarchal religious system to become one of the internet's most prominent voices against misogyny - and then fall in love with a woman who challenges him every step of the way?

In this episode, I sit down with Sean and his fiancée Cat - a couple who met in Instagram DMs after Cat noticed Sean posting calm, measured responses to Andrew Tate videos. What followed was the birth of a relationship built on radical transparency, shared values, and a mutual commitment to doing the inner work.

We talk about:

• Sean's journey from Jehovah's Witness upbringing to anti-manosphere content creator
• The "rock bottom" moment that finally broke down his conditioning
• How Cat spotted something different in Sean - and what transparency in a relationship actually looks like
• Whether men can truly change, and what it actually takes
• How two people shaped by patriarchy in very different ways managed to build something genuinely healthy together

This is a honest, nuanced conversation about accountability, authenticity, and what it looks like when men actually do the work.

Find Cat and Sean here.

Here are links for:

• Use Code NOTES15 at YCODE for 15% off men's skincare.
• Exploring The Herbtender range of wellness solutions (use code ADAPT20 for 20%).
• 1:1 resilience coaching - book a free intro call here.

Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!):
https://uppbeat.io/t/paul-yudin/breaking-ideas
License code: 6NHMOGUA1OQR97OC

Still grinding through your to-do list, stuck in your head, and wondering why the meditation isn't working? Your nervous system might be the missing piece - and the solution is a lot more fun than you think.

In this episode, resilience coach Alex breaks down what nervous system regulation actually means (hint: it's not about being permanently calm), why so many of us stay stuck in a stress response without even realising it, and why the standard advice of breathwork and cold dips is only part of the story.

We explore the full spectrum of regulation tools available to you - from dancing and boxing to pleasure and orgasms - and why these are just as scientifically valid as any breathing technique. We also get into the deeper work: why feeling your feelings is one of the most overlooked foundations of regulation, how self-trust underpins everything, and why your nervous system - not your willpower - is the real reason you self-sabotage.

If you've ever felt like you're doing all the right things and still can't seem to get out of your own way, this episode will change how you see yourself.

Topics covered:

• What a regulated nervous system actually looks like
• Why we get stuck in fight, flight, and freeze - and what it costs us
• Dynamic regulation tools beyond breathwork (including orgasms)
• How hormones affect women's nervous systems differently
• The link between nervous system capacity and self-sabotage
• Why success literally requires safety in your nervous system
• How to start building new neural pathways through pleasure and connection

Find Alex: Instagram @alexresiliencecoach | shore-coaching.com

If you enjoyed this episode you can sign up for 5 Resilience Coaching Questions to Change Your Life .

Here are links for:

• Exploring The Herbtender range of wellness solutions (use code ADAPT20 for 20%).
• 1:1 resilience coaching - book a free intro call here.

Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!):
https://uppbeat.io/t/paul-yudin/breaking-ideas
License code: 6NHMOGUA1OQR97OC

Anna Morris KC has represented thousands of bereaved families at some of the UK's most high-profile public inquiries - including Hillsborough and the COVID Inquiry. But her path to King's Counsel looked nothing like the rulebook said it should.

In this episode, Alex sits down with her old university friend Anna to talk about what it's really like to stand up in court on behalf of 7,000 grieving families, the moment a member of the House of Lords told her to "stop riling up her people," and why she almost didn't become a barrister at all.

They get into:

• The pressure and privilege of high-profile public inquiry work
• The power of silence as an advocacy tool - and why it isn't taught
• Overcoming imposter syndrome, neurodiversity, and not fitting the barrister mould
• The stark lack of diversity at the bar and what still needs to change
• Why legal aid lawyers routinely work for free - and what that costs the profession
• How Anna balances carrying the weight of others' trauma with being a mother, a leader, and a human being
• Her note on vulnerability: staying authentic even when you're the most polished version of yourself

A candid, warm and genuinely inspiring conversation about finding your own way - even when no one else seems to do it the same way you do.

Find Anna Morris here.

If you enjoyed this episode you can sign up for 5 Resilience Coaching Questions to Change Your Life .

Here are links for:

• Exploring The Herbtender range of wellness solutions (use code ADAPT20 for 20%).
• 1:1 resilience coaching - book a free intro call here.

Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!):
https://uppbeat.io/t/paul-yudin/breaking-ideas
License code: 6NHMOGUA1OQR97OC

If you've ever felt the  pressure to have children - even when something inside you said otherwise - this episode is for you.

Alex, resilience coach and host of Notes on Vulnerability, gets personal in this solo episode about what it really means to be child-free. Drawing on her own experience and the latest research (including a landmark study from the London School of Economics), she explores why so many women never even realise being child-free is a valid, joyful option - and what it takes to fully thrive in that choice.

In this episode, Alex covers:

• Why child-free single women are statistically the happiest subgroup in society
• How social conditioning shapes our beliefs about motherhood - often without us realising
• The fears that keep women stuck (loneliness, FOMO, judgement) and how to move through them
• Why having children is no guarantee of company or support later in life
• How to update your internal map and build a life that's genuinely your own
• The importance of speaking your truth loudly and without apology

Whether you're questioning the path you've been handed, already child-free and working through the noise, or simply curious - this episode offers honest, grounded, and refreshingly unjudged perspective.

"The most common regret of the dying is: I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me."

Connect with Alex:

• Instagram: @alexresiliencecoach
• Website: shore-coaching.com

If you enjoyed this episode you can sign up for 5 Resilience Coaching Questions to Change Your Life and start changing your self-perception to one that actually serves you.

Here are links for:

• Use Code NOTES15 at YCODE for 15% off men's skincare.
• Explore The Herbtender range of wellness solutions (use code ADAPT20 for 20%).
• 1:1 resilience coaching - book a free intro call here.
• The Resilience Blueprint (£27).

Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!):
https://uppbeat.io/t/paul-yudin/breaking-ideas
License code: 6NHMOGUA1OQR97OC

Erin Harris spent 28 years hiding her arm under hoodies and baggy jumpers. Today she's the two-time World's Strongest Disabled Woman with four world records to her name - and it all started from a single TikTok video. 

In this episode Erin opens up about growing up with a limb difference, the bullying she experienced and how discovering Adaptive Strongman in 2022 completely transformed her life. What started as a gym session to lose weight before her wedding became a world-class athletic career - within just six months of training she won her first competition.

We talk about:

• How Erin hid her disability for nearly 3 decades and what finally changed.
• Discovering Adaptive Strongman and being mentored by four-time World's Strongest Disabled Man Mark Tonner.
• The mental game of lifting - imposter syndrome, inner critics, and getting out of your own head.
• Breaking world records.
• The lack of funding in adaptive sport and why it matters.
• Being a role model for children born with limb differences.
• Recovering from a rotator cuff injury and relearning how to trust her body.
• Why she refuses to hide who she is online - bad days included.

Erin's one note on vulnerability: don't hide who you are. Everything that makes you different is shaping the path you're meant to be on.

Find Erin Harris here.

If you enjoyed this episode you can sign up for 5 Resilience Coaching Questions to Change Your Life .

Here are links for:

• Exploring The Herbtender range of wellness solutions (use code ADAPT20 for 20%).
• 1:1 resilience coaching - book a free intro call here.

Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!):
https://uppbeat.io/t/paul-yudin/breaking-ideas
License code: 6NHMOGUA1OQR97OC

In this solo episode, resilience coach Alex unpacks the science and psychology behind self-perception and why it may be the single biggest factor influencing your success, income, relationships, and ability to reach your goals.

Alex explores why so many of us get stuck in cycles of self-sabotage - not because we're lazy or incapable, but because we're trying to change our actions without changing our identity. She breaks down the difference between process-based and identity-based change, and why shifting how you see yourself is the faster, more sustainable path to transformation.

In this episode:

• Why your self-perception directly affects your earnings, goal achievement, and relationships
• The problem with "just work harder" culture and why struggle isn't required for success
• How unconscious beliefs about yourself may be silently running the show
• The two types of change — and why identity-based change wins every time
• How to identify your current self-perception (including the stuff you don't consciously know is there)
• Simple steps to start building a new self-perception — and why "fake it till you make it" actually has science behind it
• What warps our self-perception (ego, shame, people-pleasing) and how to reclaim it
• Why defining your own version of success is the missing piece for so many people

Whether you're stuck in a loop of trying and failing, or you've hit all the "right" milestones and still feel like something's missing - this episode will give you a fresh perspective on where real change actually starts.

If you enjoyed this episode you can sign up for 5 Resilience Coaching Questions to Change Your Life and start changing your self-perception to one that actually serves you.

Here are links for:

• Use Code NOTES15 at YCODE for 15% off men's skincare.
• Explore The Herbtender range of wellness solutions (use code ADAPT20 for 20%).
• 1:1 resilience coaching - book a free intro call here.
• The Resilience Blueprint (£27).

Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!):
https://uppbeat.io/t/paul-yudin/breaking-ideas
License code: 6NHMOGUA1OQR97OC

What does it take to start training for an Ironman triathlon in your fifties - and actually cross the finish line?

In this episode, Alex sits down with Donna, known on Instagram as The Iron Empress, a midlife endurance athlete who discovered road cycling and triathlon later in life and used it to completely reframe what ageing looks like. Donna shares how she went from city commuter cyclist to Ironman finisher, why she refused to make her age the narrative, and how watching her father's health decline in his fifties lit a fire in her to stay mobile for life.

In this episode, we cover:

• Starting triathlon at 46 and taking on Ironman in her fifties
• How menopause affected her training and recovery - and what she did about it
• The role of strength training, nutrition, and low-intensity work in managing joint pain
• Training your mind for resilience (the "fourth discipline" of Ironman)
• Body image, body shaming in cycling culture, and why she refuses to seek external validation
• The confidence gap women face - and how visibility on social media is changing that
• Why she believes women are built for endurance - and should be doing Ironman in their 20s
• Her advice for anyone with a limiting midlife mindset: be confident in being a beginner

Find The Iron Empress here.

If you enjoyed this episode you can sign up for 5 Resilience Coaching Questions to Change Your Life .

Here are links for:

• Exploring The Herbtender range of wellness solutions (use code ADAPT20 for 20%).
• 1:1 resilience coaching - book a free intro call here.

Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!):
https://uppbeat.io/t/paul-yudin/breaking-ideas
License code: 6NHMOGUA1OQR97OC

Are you a woman in your forties feeling overwhelmed, resentful, and bone-tired - and you can't quite explain why? In this first episode of Season 4, resilience coach Alex Pett digs into one of the most underestimated sources of midlife exhaustion: good girl conditioning.

Alex explores how women are taught from a young age to be agreeable, nice, and self-sacrificing - and how this deeply ingrained conditioning quietly drains your energy, disconnects you from yourself, and can lead to burnout if left unchecked.

In this episode:

• What good girl conditioning actually is (and why it's as old as time)
• Why your 40s is often the turning point where it stops working
• The real cost: self-doubt, resentment, imposter syndrome, and burnout
• How to start breaking free — from developing your intuition to setting boundaries and saying no
• Why being "difficult" might actually be the most radical and healthy thing you can do

If you're done performing for a society that expects you to stay small, this episode is for you.

If you enjoyed this episode you can sign up for 5 Resilience Coaching Questions to Change Your Life and start getting free from your good girl conditioning today.

Here are links for:

• Exploring The Herbtender range of wellness solutions (use code ADAPT20 for 20%).
• 1:1 resilience coaching - book a free intro call here.
• Alex on instagram: @alexresiliencecoach

Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!):
https://uppbeat.io/t/paul-yudin/breaking-ideas
License code: 6NHMOGUA1OQR97OC

If you’ve ever set intentions with real hope and still found yourself stuck in the same patterns, this episode offers a different explanation: your nervous system has more say over your future than your mindset does.

In this episode, we explore:

• why you can deeply want change and still feel blocked
• how survival patterns quietly override your goals
• why manifesting doesn’t start in your thoughts
• and how building nervous system capacity is what actually makes change feel safe enough to last

There’s also a short guided regulation practice you can use to begin 2026 from the body outward - not from pressure or fantasy.

If you enjoyed this episode don't forget to sign up for my free live online session on January 8th where we’ll go deeper into this work.

Here are links for:

• 1:1 resilience coaching - book a free intro call here.
• The Resilience Blueprint (£27).

Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!):
https://uppbeat.io/t/paul-yudin/breaking-ideas
License code: 6NHMOGUA1OQR97OC

Gratitude isn’t meant to be a performance - or something you use to override what actually hurts.

In this episode, I explore why forced positivity and gratitude lists often create more pressure than peace, and how somatic (felt) gratitude works differently in the nervous system.

We talk about:

• why your body doesn’t respond to pressure
• how gratitude turns into bypassing without us realising
• and how real gratitude can exist alongside grief, stress and exhaustion

There’s also a short guided somatic gratitude practice you can return to anytime.

This is the same lens I use in my 1:1 resilience coaching (book a free intro call here) and in The Resilience Blueprint (£27). Make sure you're on the list for the 8th Jan Session on Why Your Nervous System Decides What You Can Manifest here.

Find me on Instagram @alexresiliencecoach and tune in on New Year’s Day for the episode on nervous-system-led manifestation.

Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!):
https://uppbeat.io/t/paul-yudin/breaking-ideas
License code: 6NHMOGUA1OQR97OC