Older Women & Friends: Real Women. Real Experts. Real Talk About Aging

Did you know that sometime between 2030 and 2035 it will be the first time in American history that more people will be 65+ than people 18 years and younger?

Crazy!

Today's guest, gerontologist Jeanette Leardi, is one of this podcast's favorite guests. We first talked in June 2003, and since then she has a new book out, Aging Sideways: Changing Our Perspectives on Getting Older.

Jeanette's story is fascinating. She became a gerontologist in her late 50s after taking care of her older parents for ten years. She was blown away at how poorly older people were treated and decided to try to change people's minds about aging. The way we age is not preordained and in many ways, we can be our stewards and enjoy the complex but magical journey as we age.

There is a fear that permeates the cultural view of dementia or any of its categories.

The facts: Only 10% of people 65 + have dementia

For those 90+, the rate jumps to 33.3%, but that means that two-thirds of much older Americans will not have to confront dementia.

And that's good news!

Another topic Jeanette and I discussed is the lack of rituals for older people. Sure, there are birthdays, anniversaries, and other important events, but nothing specifically for older women and men. Rituals help clarify meaning, and they give us a chance to celebrate. Jeanette suggests a multi-generational ritual when we celebrate aging instead of dreading it. Imagine the benefits: younger generations will love celebrating right along and might not have such a negative, jaded view of getting older. And there is the opportunity for older people to welcome newcomers into the fold. I don't know, something akin to ceremonies we've observed: sororities, fraternities, graduations, professional highlights, retirement, and on and on.

Did you know that our brains continue to create new brain cells and that the super highways help us see the what-ifs, the middle ground between good/bad, yes/no . . . ? Our brains may work more slowly because of the wealth of experiences over a lifetime. I like to liken our memory to a card catalog. Remember those? It took us time to find the book( s) we were after but with patience we were rewarded.

Finally, Jeanette and I discuss creativity in older age and how our creativity differs from that of younger people. She details four characteristics of creative folks and reminds listeners that all of us are creative daily as we choose the words we want to use, and the stories we tell to our friends and family. This is a time to pursue whatever gives us pleasure and stokes our creativity. This a time when we are not so dependent upon what others think about us and how we choose to spend our time. It is freedom to be embraced.

How did your recent doctor's appointment go? Did you get the care you needed? Were all your questions answered? Did you feel as if you were a valued patient whose health mattered?

If you're like many patients--often older women--the answer to some of these questions is "No!". Everything was rushed. You were in and out too quickly—the time you spent jotting down questions before your appointment seemed like a waste. What was the point if you left the doctor's office confused, frustrated, and angry?

After an episode of "Older Women & Friends" about breast cancer, one about problems associated with the pelvic floor, and other health-related episodes scheduled for the future, I felt it important to have a guest who could help define the steps all of us can take to communicate with doctors and get the care and respect we deserve. We know ourselves and our history better than anyone. It's key that we understand how to share that information and to advocate for ourselves.

Dana Sherwin was a top hospital administrator for thirty-five years. But when she was diagnosed with a rare blood disease, she made the difficult decision to leave her profession. Her cancer treatment included chemo and, eventually, a bone marrow transplant. She was in the hospital for five weeks and spent many more in her recovery.

Along the way, she paid close attention to the care she received. She began to figure out what made a doctor-patient relationship work well and what did not. She admits that she made mistakes along the way and decided to develop the steps for patients of all stripes and health issues and, for that matter, regularly scheduled appointments, that help get the best medical care. "The Thinking Patients" is the result.

There are five important steps that Dana suggests and that she details in this episode:

• Preparation
• Language
• Questions
• Participation
• Courage
• 
  

Dana is a five-year cancer survivor and credits her doctors and her self-advocation. She is grateful for the opportunity to help others become "thinking patients."

https://www.linkedin.com/in/desherwin/

What is the pelvic floor? Where is it located in the body? What does it do? What are the potential issues created by a weak pelvic floor?

You might be surprised to learn that millions of young and older women experience problems--many of them uncomfortable and embarrassing--with their pelvic floor.

Dr. Nabila Noor, a urogynecologist and physician specializing in pelvic floor problems, joins me in this informative episode. Dr. Noor explains how we can take preventative measures like specific exercises to strengthen our pelvic floor and, if those measures are unsuccessful, the simple, fast surgeries that can solve any of the following problems:

• bladder leakage
• "Gotta Go, Gotta Go syndrome
• Frequent Urinary Tract Infections
• Bowel problems
• Sexual dysfunction
• Pelvic organ prolapse
• & More
• 
  

I don't know about you, but I'd never heard of a urogynecologist, a pelvic floor physical therapist, or the scope of problems caused by a weak pelvic floor. So, I was all ears during this episode.

Dr. Noor was born in Bangladesh and came to the U.S. at age 18 to attend Smith College, an all-girls school that encouraged her to focus on women's health. After receiving her degree as an OB-GYN, she spent an additional three years pursuing a urogynecology specialty. It is a relatively new field, about 20 years old, which is probably why many of us had never heard of it.

If Dr. Noor has one message above all others it is that pelvic floor problems can be solved and that no woman should have to deal with any of these often embarrassing, often painful conditions for years without any hope of leading a normal life. Dr. Noor gets so much joy when a patient returns to the office for a post-surgical checkup. They could kick themselves for not having gotten help earlier but are so damn happy to resume a full life.

Dr. Noor is an enthusiastic spokesperson for all that can be done to remedy pelvic floor problems, and she is anxious to spread the word. She has a large media presence, and you can check her out at any of the following:

YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/@drnabilanoor

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drnabilanoor/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61557585516981

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/dr-nabila-noor-9b5b2930/

Yep, we are all caught up in habitual ways of thinking and acting. We turn on our default programming to autopilot and more often than not talk to our boss, partner, or child the same way we have forever.

Ronnie Loaiza is a certified life coach and a certified habit coach. Who knew there was something called a habit coach? Ronnie explains that she helps people create doable habits that get them to their goals instead of temporary or unsustainable hacks, militant discipline, or willpower. "People grow with tiny steps," Ronnie says.

Ronnie was born in the U.S., but she and her mother moved back to where the rest of the family lived. When her parents, her two siblings, and Ronnie returned to the States permanently, Ronnie didn't speak a word of English. Okay, maybe a word or two. She went to kindergarten as a Spanish speaker and quickly picked up English like a sponge.

Ronnie is by nature an adventurous woman who loves to travel. After college, she traveled to France for a five-month program. She stayed for five years. After France, she resided in Los Angeles, where she still lives today.

After suffering from painful back and hip issues and after trying every kind of modality--shots, massage, physical therapy, spinal decompression, and on and on--she gave up. But when her husband suggested that she see a trainer who came highly recommended, she was not gung-ho but gave it a try. Within a matter of weeks, much of her pain was gone. So when her trainer suggested that she become a trainer as a forty-six-year-old, she laughed.

But at some point, she decided to take a chance and `worked her tail off to get her certification through the Certified Life Coach Institute. When she realized that she was spending a lot of her time talking with her clients about their goals and the barriers to achieving them, she explored, studied, practiced, and was eventually certified as a Habit Coach Pro.

Ronnie is a spirited woman who talks fast and springs into action with ease. You can listen to her episode on "Older Women & Friends" as of 9/26. While you're at it, check out some of the past episodes.

If you like this episode and, hopefully, others, please text someone you think will enjoy the podcast. Word of Mouth is what helps grow "Older Women & Friends."

https://ronnielolifecoach.com/

https://www.linkedin.com/in/ronnielolifecoach/

[email protected]

Deborah Charnes has been a solo traveler since she was sixteen. She has been around the world on a quest of sorts to learn as much as she can about the cultures, traditions, and people of other countries. During her travels, she has met mentors and gurus, each of whom taught her something important about achieving health and happiness. Her book, FROM THE BOXING RING TO THE ASHRAM, is a distillation of some of those teachers and the ways they have impacted her life. When she’s not on the road, Deborah blogs about travel and currently writes for the “Ethel” a newsletter for women 55+ sponsored by AARP. She is a certified bilingual yoga therapist and a holistic health coach.

https://thenamastecounsel.com/

https://thenamastecounsel.com/book-from-the-boxing-ring-to-the-ashram/

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Based on the most recent data available, 272,454 women were diagnosed with breast cancer.  In 2022, 42,211 women died from the disease..Deb Krier got the call that most women over fifty dread. She’d barely made it home from her annual mammogram when the phone rang, and her doctor told her to return for a second mammogram and biopsies that thankfully came back negative. The initial diagnosis was Stage 0 breast cancer. No big deal. But within short order, the cancer had spread to eight lymph nodes and a new diagnosis of Stage 4. Her journey was one hellish ride. Anything that could go wrong, went wrong. During a seven-week hospital stay, she overheard two doctors discussing how she was going to die. Deb is alive and well, thank you. If there is a story that proves the mind/body connection, it is Deb's. She's a warrior with strength, humor, and unwavering optimism. She gladly shares her story and all the suggestions she has for other women facing down breast cancer, or any other serious disease.  My website is under construction. For now, you can find more about Deb at:https://debkrier.com/

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Women over 50 are a force to reckon with. There are 63 million of us. On average, we women live six years longer than men, yet, sadly, many older women spend on average the last 14 years of their lives in a cascade of poor health. “Men die quicker, but women get sicker.”  Maddy Dychtwald, national best-selling author and co-founder of Age World, is out to change that. Her latest book Ageless Aging: A Woman’s Guide to Increasing Healthspan, Brainspan, and Lifespan, is a call to arms.  In this episode, Maddy talks about the kind of kid she was, her nomadic family that moved every three years and the impact on her personality, her short career as an actress,  and why and how she got into the business of aging and, with her husband, founded Age Wave.  What, she asked, is the back story of active, self-actualized older women?  What can we learn from them and how can we take advantage of the gift of our bonus years to live healthy, happy lives?  You won’t want to miss this interview. 

                  “Wherever you are in your aging journey, it’s never too late to invest in your well-being or to reinvent yourself. It is possible for life to get better and better as you age, especially when you are open to the idea that our longevity bonus can be an ascent, not a decline.”                       ________________________Maddy Dychtwaldhttps://agewave.com/https://agewave.com/contact-us/Ageless Aging: A Woman's Guide to Increasing Healthspan, Brainstan, And Lifespan
Amazon or Wherever You Purchase Bookshttps://rb.gy/fauxni

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THIS IS A REPOST OF AN EPISODE THAT FIRST RAN ON DECEMBER 15, 2022. IT HAS HAD MORE LISTENS THAN ANY OTHER EPISODE on "OLDER WOMEN & FRIENDS."  ENJOY!

If you have a sleep problem, you’re not alone. More than 30 percent of women over 50 are dealing with sleep issues. 

You’ve probably tried any number of solutions. Sadly, nothing has worked, or the sleep you get doesn't get the job done. The clock may say that you slept for six or seven hours, but you feel sluggish and foggy.

Lucinda Sykes, a retired physician and now a personal sleep coach, explains that both her grandmother and mother struggled with insomnia and eventually became dependent on sleep medication. Lucinda saw the writing on the wall, got some therapy, and happily has not suffered from insomnia. Lucinda explains that one of the--if not THE--downsides of insomnia is that the brain doesn't have enough time to refresh; there is no chance for the brain to rebalance. This imbalance can cause problems with everything from your heart to your memory. Lucinda gives listeners strategies for getting better sleep that include mindfulness, a regular sleep schedule, avoiding blue light before bedtime, and much more.If you haven't listened to my other episode that features a conversation with Lucinda about older women and mindfulness (with so much wisdom shared), do yourself a favor and check it out. (March 16, 2023)
http://lucindasykesmd.com

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How can playful dares and simple activities transform your journey, no matter your age? Join us as we chat with the vibrant Jodi Silverman, who shares her inspiring path from playful childhood adventures in Northeast Philadelphia to becoming a beacon of joy for midlife women. Jodi takes us through her career transitions from retail to outside sales, and finally to entrepreneurship with her own commercial printing services business. Facing the prospect of an Empty Nest, she didn’t retreat but instead looked forward to new possibilities, emphasizing the critical role of fun and adaptability in navigating life’s changes.In this episode, we explore Jodi’s creation of the Moms Who Dare community, inspired by Luanne Kahn's book, "I Dare Me." Discover how small, daring acts like playing board games or revisiting childhood playgrounds can ignite joy and creativity, fostering connections and lifting spirits. We also dive into the power of self-talk and introduce the practical T.A.L.K. method to combat negative thoughts. Learn about Jodi's Beyond Empty Nest podcast and her supportive network that encourages women to embrace the emotional journey of an empty nest while celebrating the positives of this new phase in life. Tune in for uplifting insights and actionable tips to transform your midlife experience with joy and resilience.

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Are some or most of your precious memories stuffed in a box (boxes) and stuck in a closet? 

Have you sworn you’ll organize the photos, keepsakes, and letters from an old boyfriend but just haven’t found the time? It’s understandable. You’ve been crazy busy.  But you’re not getting any younger, and in those boxes are stories you want to share with your children and other relatives and friends. 

Martie McNabb is a believer in objects and the stories they tell. She is a "legacy artist" whose nomadic childhood shaped her constant search for deep connections. Martie was born on a military base in Okinawa, returned to the States with her parents when she was not yet two and moved nine times before high school.  “I don’t have long-term friends or a sense of belonging to a place,” Martie says.  "When people ask me where I'm from, I'm never sure what to answer."Martie's search for a "home" and extended family has taken her from a graduate in soil science (Who knew?), a housekeeper (She likes to clean!), a sign language interpreter, and a middle and high school teacher. She loved the students but got burned out by the administration. So, she moved on to found Memories Out of the Box, a one-woman business to help people put their "stuff" in order. It has been wildly successful . . . if success is determined by her love for the deep legacy work she does.Ten years ago, she developed the "Show & Tales" series. (Think "Show and Tell," the game played in elementary school.)  Participants at these gatherings share personal objects and the stories attached to them. An item as simple as a bracelet made of rubber bands or a carton of eggs will suffice.  "It is the power of stories," Martie says. "It's amazing how what seems like a simple activity can tell us so much about others and ourselves."This episode takes listeners on a "ride" in Martie's 21-foot Winnebago named Brooklyn as she travels from New Mexico to Vermont. She is still on a journey but a journey that has led to new friendships, new experiences, and an ever-growing understanding of how the sharing of stories of the Things that matter can build deeper connections, community, and legacy.https://www.showandtales.com/https://www.linkedin.com/in/martiemcnabb/https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/things-that-matter-with-martie-mcnabb/id1643973318