In which a Yemeni construction crew finds a priceless trove of Quranic literature and promptly stuff it into potato sacks, and Ken would like to burn some French translators at the stake. Certificate #24503.

In which a unique piece of Jewish medieval art barely survives two European wars, and John imagines that the Venetian papal censor was a chill guy. Certificate #48606.

In which California's largest lake, created by accident in 1905, teeters on the brink of collapse, and Ken complains about a hotel sink. Certificate #44008.

In which an asthmatic British cartoonist sells two million copies of his books of non-jokes for cat skeptics, and John knows what the handle of a gun is called. Certificate #29573.

In which a Shakespearean insult for an obnoxious blowhard comes to be used as an anti-white slur, and Ken wants to test the Appalachians for testosterone. Certificate #38163.

In which a QAnon-like conspiracy theory insists that fancy 19th-century architecture was all built by a mysterious, long-lost superstate, and John is concerned about neighborhood dogs with heads the size of pumpkins. Certificate #20354.

In which a vast hoard of gold and diamonds disppears near the Mozambique border during the Boer War, and Ken thinks most penguin species look like hoboes. Certificate #15845.

In which Latin America's first Marxist democracy tries to collectivize the means of production by inventing a proto-internet in 1970, and John just hopes it was orange and brown. Certificate #53432.

In which the pilots of a Canadian commercial jetliner abruptly realize over Ontario that they're entirely out of fuel, and Ken likes sad character licensing attempts at amusement parks. Certificate #41746.