In which Franklin Roosevelt builds a secret, private train station under the Waldorf-Astoria Hotel, and John almost defects to East Germany in a gaily colored ski jacket. Certificate #33725.

In which a Vermont farmer unveils to the world a natural beauty of crystalline perfection that's been hiding in plain sight, and Ken and John decide to slander Buzz Aldrin for some reason. Certificate #16919.

In which we study the spurving bearings and hydrocoptic marzlevanes of the made-up machine that brought technobabble to the masses, and John actually encourages Ken to talk about Star Trek for a change. Certificate #45305.

In which one Gilded Age influencer puts Santa at the North Pole because he hates slavery so much and runs New York's most powerful man out of town on a rail because he hates the Irish so much. Certificate #33423.

In which peace and holiday good will break out on the western front in 1914, partly due to the work of suffragettes, and it changes the tourism industry forever. Also, Ken defends fruitcake. Certificate #31405.

In which we explore one of the weirdest funeral superstitions of pagan Europe, and John explains why he likes to retell Aesop's Fables from the bad guys' point of view. Certificate #44411.

In which one artist redefines eroticism for the MTV generation, and John gets stuck with a very overpriced piece of Duran Duran memorabilia. Certificate #31513.

In which a South Carolina slave seizes a heavily armed Confederate ship and sails it to freedom and instant celebrity, whereas Ken doesn't even own a hatchet. Certificate #38760.

In which a hard-to-kill Asian insect arrives in America and discovers a delightful new predator-free life eating our produce, hiding behind our picture frames, and making everything smell like cilantro-infused sewage. Certificate #30979.

In which Ken accidentally goes on vacation to a long submerged, 2,000-year-old forest, and John explains the value he can add to a rugby game or campfire. Certificate #1751.