Optimal Parenting Daily

What is something that you have in your life now that you once deeply desired?

Today’s Monday Momtra was inspired by a few messages and signs from the Universe - where I was seeing this concept of cultivating gratitude for things you now have that you once did not. It was popping up in a few different places - social media posts, conversations and reflections in the space between an old and new year. So I felt compelled to share it with all of you.

Gratitude is an essential for successful and fulfilled living. And it ties in very appropriately with the mission of Balance and Motherhood. This particular practice we’re talking about today is one avenue to explore gratitude in your life.

So I share some of my examples of acknowledging things that I now have and experience in my life, that I once wanted. And I invite you to do the same for yourself - take a quick inventory and recognize the journey - the time, energy, sacrifice, pain, joy, etc. that has led to the co-creation of something that now brings a lot of value to your life.

Look at the ratio of “wanting what you have” vs “having what you want” and how you can use that balance to experience peace and contentment, while looking towards future desires and manifestations.

And in the next few weeks, I’m going to be addressing listener comments and emails - so if you want to be included in my lineup, reach out to [email protected] and you might be featured in an upcoming episode!

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Anyone else feeling less interested in formal new year’s resolutions? Not to knock the practice, I think it’s great. I think it’s also lost some of its effectiveness when we so often hear about formal resolutions and goals getting dropped come the start of February.

What happens here is we put something out there that we want or would like to experience, but our habits - our mindset, conversation and actions, don’t shift to align with whatever that resolution is. So it loses its juice, we get bored and we move on.

But what if there was a way to set powerful intention without the pressure and anxiety that sometimes sets in with resolutions? Instead of “do this less” and “do this more” -- there was a practice of BEING something. A word. One word to set the intention for the year ahead and guide you in your mission, purpose and passion.

Choosing a word for the year is a practice I picked up 2 years ago, and I’ve loved it. It’s been an opportunity to focus on something and allow it to permeate my thought process, my patterns and habits. And it has influenced every aspect of my life. So in this episode I’m walking you through my choice of words the past couple of years, how it played out and then what I’m cooking up for this upcoming year.

And the cool thing about this stuff is that you don’t need to wait for a new calendar year to do it. This concept works year-round and you can pick it up whenever you’d like. Being intentional and proactive is not limited to January 1st.

So listen in to learn my words. And share yours with me! I’d love to hear it. Reach out to balanceandmotherhoodpodcast[at]gmail.com. And be sure to go to www.sarahbivens.com to see the latest on what I’m up to and to download the resources I mention in the episode.

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Why do we feel this pressure to be things that we are not?

Today’s momtra is here to set you up with a powerful intention for the week. Take the opportunity to identify that things that you are not. And I’ll give you some help. You are not your past. You are not your mother. You are not what others think you should be. Ok, now that we’ve taken that brief moment to be in the “not,” let’s focus on the affirmative.

Using “I am…” is an insanely potent energy field creator. What we say is...is. We create our understanding of ourselves, the people around us and our reality. So let’s go into this week with clarity around who we are. Even if you don’t feel 100 percent confident in it right now...it’s the practice of putting yourself in that space. Star athletes train. Accomplished musicians practice. The same logic can apply to affirming yourself and being in a “positive” mindset. You work at it.

And feel free to come back to this momtra whenever you need a reminder of what you are and the extent of your possibilities. I’ll give you a hint: both are limitless!

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Why is it so damn hard to ask for (and then actually receive) help as mamas?!

Whether it’s pride, ego, perfectionism, fear...whatever the reason. There are things that hold us back at times (lots of times) from opening ourselves up to utilizing people and resources around us. Maybe we think we have to do it all and be superwoman to prove something to someone or ourselves. Maybe we don’t think anyone can or wants to help.

Part of my mission in this balanced motherhood movement is to drop the self-imposed martyrdom that many of us have a tendency to wear on. How can we do that? Well, it takes practice, like so many things that I talk about on the show. But you can take these tips and examples I outline here and make them your own.

So listen in to learn the 5 things you can do to practice the art of asking for help. Also some of my own real-life examples of asking for and receiving help and how I handle it.

Do you have some examples of breakthroughs you’ve had around asking for help?! I want to hear them! Drop me a line at balanceandmotherhoodpodcast[at]gmail.com!

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Looking for some extra inspiration, motivation, affirmation (and any other necessary “-ion”) for the week ahead? Well fear not, my mama friend! Because I’m starting a new kind of episode for the show - a weekly mantra...or in this case “momtra” to get you fired up about your week, yourself and your life!

So every Monday I’ll be bringing you a thought, quote, excerpt, experience or whatever else comes to me that I know will be a power boost to your day. They’ll be bite-sized snacks of goodness - to nourish your mind and soul!

This week’s Monday Momtra centers around one of my favorite Rumi quotes and the intense impact it’s had on me. So just open yourself up to the amazing wisdom that is his word and allow it to inspire something for you this week. Maybe it’s speaking your mind and honoring your voice. Maybe it’s a shift in habits. Maybe a relationship becomes healthier and more loving. The possibilities abound. You get to choose how to apply the “momtra” to your life and create some magic with it!

If you have any bits of inspiration that you’d like to share for a future “momtra” please don’t hesitate to email me at balanceandmotherhoodpodcast[at]gmail.com!

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This episode originally aired on the podcast that I co-host with my husband “Doing It At Home.” I felt that the topic and conversation was extremely relevant to what I’m creating here at Balance and Motherhood. We dive into aspects of our marriage and relationship the day after we had a sizeable argument. Balance in your relationships is important. This includes honest communication, owning responsibility and loving yourself in the process. I hope you enjoy!

This is a fun and different kind of episode for DIAH. We’re taking a slight curve off of the path of birth stories and empowering birth conversations to focus on us for a second. And by us, I more specifically mean our marriage - our relationship style and our communication (or sometimes lack thereof).

This was inspired by some pretty amazing affirmations we received in the form of emails and reviews, commenting on Matthew’s and my dynamic and interaction with each other. It’s incredibly humbling to receive all of your words of encouragement, support, questions, etc. about the show and our lives. Because we have made a choice to put ourselves out there - our personal lives and sharing intimate aspects of our pregnancy, birth, parenting and marriage experiences. So - when an argument, fight, disagreement or whatever you want to call it like we had the other day pops up and I’m not in the best space, I can go down the dangerous road of “We’re fakes, we’re frauds...we just received all this beautiful feedback on who we are as a couple and now look at us! What does this mean?!?!”

So we discuss this process, why it comes up and what the actually truth of the situation is - that we do have an incredible relationship and marriage, AND it takes a lot of intentional work and practice. We each share some of our challenges and how we overcome them.

We also tackle the topic of “It feels like we never fought before we had a baby…”

This is some pretty interesting stuff, and we really hope you enjoy it - to provide some perspective on what happens after you “do it at home” - how to keep love and communication flowing.

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In this episode, I’m getting personal. I’m opening up the door of vulnerability and inviting you in to hear some of my journey. I figured, hey, we’re in this thing together and if I’m going to be doing this show week after week and talking about this whole thing of balance and motherhood - it would make sense to share part of my story and where I’ve come from to where I am now.

Now it’s obviously not my whole life’s story (I wouldn’t bore you with that), but I do touch on some of the high points and what I believe to be stepping stones on my path to self re-discovery, wellness and love. I share it for multiple reasons. It’s important to me to create a sense of trust and authenticity with you, my listener. I also want to encourage others to acknowledge and identify with their stories and the power in sharing them to spark personal growth, change and healing. And I think there are some very relatable parts to my story that you can glean some insight from - whether you’ve experienced something similar, know or love someone who has, or you can just walk away a little bit more understanding.

I share when some of my disempowering beliefs and programming starting building their foundation - when I was 9 when my parents got divorced. I also retrace the steps that led me to being a very depressed and borderline suicidal teenager. Therapy, antidepressants, seeking love and approval in all the inaccurate places (outside of myself), I felt lost and like a shell of a human.

There was something guiding me, what I can now recognize as my intuition, to keep pushing for possibility and for greatness. Sometimes I listened, sometimes I didn’t. Both choices yielded certain outcomes and consequences.

I’ve learned (and continue to learn) a lot about myself through relationships and intimate connection. So of course I give you some details of relationships gone wrong. Also how stress and my mindset landed me in the hospital for life-saving surgery.

How did it turn around? How did I eventually find myself healing and looking for ways to help others do the same? Well, you have to listen to the story!

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In this episode I am sharing my routine, my practice and my structure for BALANCE in my life. I’ve been using this approach for over 5 years now and it has supported me through so many life events: shifting careers, getting married, starting and growing multiple businesses, having a baby, and maintaining my health and sanity (some of it at least!) throughout the process.

And I’m sharing it because I want every mama out there to be able to experience what I have been able to. Because when we’re all feeling more balanced, more together, more integrated, more loved and supported...everybody wins! Our spouses, children, friends, family, co-workers, community.

Also - this sh** works! I’m telling you. Because it can be adjusted and modified to suit you where you are at at any particular space and point in time in your life.

So we go through the 7 building blocks of BALANCE - a concept from the YourDay Balance Game that I’ve taken and applied to not only my own personal life but in my coaching and in all the creative projects I’m involved with. I’m giving you context on why these building blocks are important and how you can take clear, specific and intentional action in each of them. And as a result, you are making a direct deposit into your own health, well-being and happiness.

It’s about creating and building habits that support you. And then I’m giving you the tools, resources and information to take what we talk about and put it into practice for yourself immediately.

Show Notes:

You can create your own balance chart like I mention in the episode now at www.theydbg.com

And visit www.sarahbivens.com for more balance and motherhood awesomeness. You can also reach out to [email protected] for questions or comments related to the podcast.

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Okay, so most of us are probably familiar with the popular Disney film “Moana” right? If not, I must know how you have not seen this yet - just from a purely fascinated, curious...and frankly, impressed standpoint. It seems to be pretty unavoidable. Which is great, I’ll say, because it’s an awesome movie and we’re big fans at our house.

If you haven’t seen it, I did my best to highlight the main parts you need to know to get the point I’m making in this episode, so it’s not necessary. But be warned that if you have somehow not seen the movie and plan on doing so and would be devastated to hear any major plot-revealing information, best to save this episode for after you watch it. I would hate to spoil a Disney movie for someone haha.

So anyway, we’re talking about the storyline of Te Fiti and Te Ka and what can happen when you’re me and you look way deep into the symbolism and meaning and come out with a “woahhhhh that was awesome,” type of realization.

I see the Te Fiti and Te Ka characters in all of us. And how that manifests and can have ripple effects in our lives. The bottom line of this episode is that you are a goddess and we all need reminders to get back in touch with who we truly are, and to love who that is. So we explore that and talk about some specific things you can do to get in touch with yourself. Use that powerful mama goddess energy for greatness and healing! And go watch “Moana” and get the songs stuck in your head for the hundredth time.

Go to www.sarahbivens.com to learn more about me or reach out to [email protected] with questions or feedback for the podcast.

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It’s the first freaking episode of The Balance and Motherhood Podcast and I can hardly contain my excitement! First of all, thanks for being here. Thanks for being you.

My name is Sarah Bivens and I am the host of the podcast. I’m a balanced lifestyle coach, mamapreneur, podcaster, wife, and now your guide on this journey of balance and motherhood - two things and experiences that don’t always coincide for a lot of us. We buy into the belief that balance is this unicorn of a creature that we cannot find, tame or hold onto. This show is about finding your own unique sense and practice of balance, in the midst of the magical and crazy role of mama.

I’m bringing my years of experience as a coach and trainer, paired with my own past challenges with self-worth, self-love and self-care, broken relationships, scarcity mentality, self-sabotage, depression and anxiety….yeah. But after breakdown comes breakthrough, and I’m here to share that perspective. How to balance it all, do it all, have it all, be it all...in a sustainable, healthy, loving way that works for you.

So this episode is my official welcome and thank you to you. I also share some of the intentions and plans for the show. This show is for every mom out there looking for ways to manage stress more effectively, tips on creating time and energy for self-care, tools for communication and relationship-building and strengthening, habits for health and longevity, and more!

Some of the things we’ll cover in the show are:

Challenges we face in motherhood like guilt, shame, comparison, competition, self-doubt

The magical moments and the wins to acknowledge, both big and small

Sex, intimacy, relationships

Getting in touch with your personal mission, purpose, values and desires

Healing past thoughts, programming and experiences

This is my gift to you and women everywhere - a compassionate kick in the butt to love yourself first, to take care of your needs and be authentically and unapologetically YOU!

Go to sarahbivens.com to learn more about me and my coaching or email me at [email protected] with any questions or comments regarding the podcast.

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