Millennial: Pretend Adulting, Real Talk

Orange Julius' Town Hall, Cell Phone Bans At Concerts, Therapy Speak Seeps Online

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  • Welcome to #Millennial, the home of pretend adulting and real talk!
  • Clusterfuck 2023 rages on with CNN platforming Orange Julius, Florida being a total Florida man, and George Santos living up to his "who the fuck is this guy?" reputation.
  • Was there a public benefit to CNN's Trump Town Hall, or was it a complete ratings whore move?
  • Shortly after the town hall, Trump posted this deep fake of CNN's Anderson Cooper, harkening back to our warnings a few weeks ago about the part AI will play in future election seasons.
  • On the topic of AI, Chat GPT delivered an original Disney tune about Mickey's impending destruction of Florida Governor Ron DeSantis.
  • We all agree overuse of cell phones at concerts is annoying - but how far are we willing to go to curb this annoying habit among concert goers?
  • Bono and Garth Brooks are using Yondr cases, to create phone-free environments during their respective Broadway and Las Vegas residency shows. Guests will need to place their phone in a Yondr case, and can only unlock it upon exiting the venue.
  • Not only do we see major health and safety risks to using something like this, it also takes away from the experience of concert-goers who want to share their own experiences at shows.
  • From "I can't even" to "I don't have the emotional capacity for this right now": how the internet has developed its own take on therapy speech, and why it's annoying AF.
  • Just like online discourse, we're all susceptible to adopting certain ways of speaking based on the environments we spend the most time in. Being influenced by celebrities, or even our professional lives can do this!
  • This week's recommendations have no throughline: Pestie (Andrew), dog toys for mental enrichment (Laura), Chappell Roan (Pam).


    • And in this week's installment of After Dark:

    • Why do millennials and younger care much less about passing down family heirlooms than prior generations? JK, we know why: we can't afford houses big enough to take all your shit grandpa.
    • Are there any items we have been offered, or know we will be in the future? Do we want them, and should we feel guilty if we don't?
    • The family drama really kicks up when someone kicks the bucket - why are we fighting about who gets what things? We're all gonna die anyway.
    • Andrew's last beer with his grandma.

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      Millennial: Pretend Adulting, Real TalkBy Andrew Sims, Laura Tee, Pamela Gocobachi
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