Our Fake History

In this throwback episode Sebastian takes you all the way back to the very first episode of OFH ever released. Queen Elizabeth I is easily one of England’s most celebrated monarchs. The so-called “virgin queen” has been credited with leading England through a golden age. However, she is also the subject of countless historical myths and conspiracy theories. This week we unpack the scandalous tale that Queen Elizabeth was actually an impostor in drag. Listen and find out how King Henry VIII, Dracula, Catherine the Great’s horse, and an unlucky kid named Neville all figure in the story!

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The reign of the Emperor Caligula has been presented as a cavalcade of bizarre and violent behavior. From declaring war on the ocean to building a five kilometer floating bridge so he could ride his horse over the sea, many of the most infamous stories about the emperor emphasize his mania. However, many of the most upsetting tales about Caligula are likely not true. One of the only eye-witness accounts of the emperor in action present him as arrogant, but hardly insane. If the worst stories about Caligula are fabrications, then why was he so hated? Tune-in and find out how shame trophies, Alexander the Great's breast plate, and vulgar displays of power all play a role in the story.

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When the Emperor Gaius, better known as Caligula, was first elevated to the role of Princeps things seemed promising. He sought to repair the relationship with the Senate damaged by his predecessor, Tiberius. He ended the former emperor's much abused treason trials. He invested in building projects, public infrastructure, and large entertaining spectacles. It seemed like he was trying to follow the model set by the first emperor Augustus. But, then at some point in his reign things changed. Before long Caligula would find himself at war with the men of the Senate. What caused this sudden shift in Caligula's temperament? Tune-in and find out how island orgies, political magic shows, and a dinner with a horse all play a role in the story.

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The Roman Emperor Gaius, better known by his childhood nickname Caligula, is often counted among the worst rulers in the history of the world. According to some ancient sources his tumultuous four year reign was defined by wonton cruelty, sadistic sexual excess, and unchecked bloodlust. However, the ancient writers that tell us these tales are among the most untrustworthy sources from the Roman period. Was Caligula truly a monster, or has an unsuccessful emperor been transformed into an historically evil character by scandal obsessed historians? Tune-in and find out how Roger Ebert, George Constanza, and Grandpa's custom muscle car all play a role in the story.

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Our Fake History is now releasing "throwback" episodes in the off-weeks between series. The regular show will still hit the feed every two weeks, but once a series has wrapped up listeners will get a little extra: a classic episode with a fresh introduction from Sebastian. This week you are getting thrown all the way back to Episode #2! The “Great Fire” of 64 AD was the 9/11 of the ancient world, complete with it’s own “truther” conspiracy. Could Emperor Nero actually have been behind the great fire? Did he play the fiddle as Rome burned? Listen and find out how murderous oarsmen, zombie emperors, human street lamps, the number of the beast, and something called “pseudo-Neros” all fit into the story!

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In 1791 Wolfgang Mozart was one the verge of a comeback. After being the toast of Vienna for half a decade, his music was starting to be considered passé by the late 1780's. A turbulent war between Austria and Turkey and an economic depression only made matters worse. But in 1791 Mozart scored a huge hit with his opera The Magic Flute. Sadly the composer barely got a chance to savor his renewed acclaim, as only three months after the opera's premiere Mozart died in his Vienna apartment. Was Mozart the victim of foul play? Was there something in the Magic Flute that had angered the wrong people? Tune-in and find out how Margaret Thatcher, a bird who could sing concertos, and letters about poop all play a role in the story.

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Wolfgang Mozart made the transition from child prodigy to adult artist fairly seamlessly, but that does not mean there weren't road bumps. Many musicians were skeptical of the boy from Salzburg. Was he more than just a musical freak of nature? Did he really have something to say musically? Many modern Mozart fans tend to either remember Mozart's art as the universally beloved apotheosis of 18th century classical music, or as criminally misunderstood works of genius that only future generations would fully appreciate. Is either assessment really accurate? Tune-in and find out how a Vatican heist, Italian conspiracies, and a swift kick in the ass all play a role in the story.

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There are few artists who are praised with the same level of hyperbole as Wolfgang Mozart. The German poet Franz Alexander von Kleist once said “Mozart's music is so beautiful as to entice angels down to earth.” The famous Russian composer Tchaikovsky declared that Mozart was no less than a "musical Christ." With praise that grandiose it can be hard to believe that Mozart was a flesh and blood human being. The stories of Mozart's dazzling genius begin when he was only a small child. He was writing his first compositions at age of five and had written his first symphony by the age of eight. There is no denying Mozart's great talent, but how much stock should we put in the tales of childhood brilliance. Tune-in and find out how royal proposals, an interminable penny whistle solo, and Sebastian's middle name all play a role in the story.

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The character of Zorro clearly had a number of inspirations, some literary and some historical. But the proto-Zorro with the deepest mythology is undoubtedly the Mexican bandit Joaquin Murrieta. The outlaw was allegedly a master of disguise who made a sport of taunting his would-be bounty hunters. He was said to have escaped death countless times, while robbing gold and horses from the Americans he had grown to despise. But, for many Joaquin's remarkable life seemed out of step with his unceremonious death at the hands of the California Rangers. Was Joaquin actually killed in 1853? If not, then whose head did they put in a jar? Tune-in and out how Pathkiller II, a red-headed stranger, and three-fingered work all play a role in the story.

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The co-creator of Batman has admitted that there would be no caped crusader had it not been for the inspiration of masked-avenger Zorro. In turn, the character of Zorro could not have existed without the inspiration of real California outlaws. In 1848 the Mexican-American War came to a close and a year later gold was discovered in the newly American territory of California. Tens of thousands of former Mexican citizens suddenly became Americans and thousands more soon flooded across the border, lured by the promise of gold. But, both native Californios and newly arrived Mexicans soon found themselves the victims of racist violence and restrictive government policies. In this climate Mexican bandits living outside the law became heroes to the oppressed. But were outlaws like the legendary "bandit king" Joaquin Murrieta more myth than man? Tune-in and find out how helpful butlers, liberal plagiarism, and three bitter blows all play a role in the story. 

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