Overcoming the Victim Mindset

What is a victim mindset?

A victim mindset is when someone feels that bad things keep happening to them no matter what. at the root of this mentality is that none of these circumstances or situations are their fault.

What causes a victim mindset?----------No one is born a victim. A victim complex isn't a personality trait — it's learned behavior. In fact, victim syndrome could be considered a type of learned helplessness. Learned helplessness is a phenomenon in psychology where people who have traumatic experiences feel that they can't escape it, no matter what they do.

Here are some circumstances that might result in developing a victim mindset as a coping mechanism:

Trauma-------If a person has experienced a traumatic situation in their youth, they may feel like life is inherently difficult and there's nothing they can do to make it better. This is a key way that learned helplessness develops. Victims may feel that no one understands them or that they can't trust anyone to help them.

Manipulation------Some people enjoy the attention and sense of control that victimhood brings. Even though they feel like they lack control over the circumstances in their life, they thrive on validation and sympathy from others. Being able to get other people to stop and help them — or at the very least, feel sorry for them — helps them retain a sense of importance and control.

Lack of accountability--------People may respond to low standards or expectations by playing the victim. Whether because someone else has always stepped up to take responsibility, or because people don’t expect much, being “out of control” becomes comfortable. Victimhood provides anonymity and protection. When you’re never at the wheel, things are never your fault.

Avoidance--------Sometimes we are more afraid of our own success then we are of our failure. Giving up responsibility for ourselves and our actions makes us feel like we don't have to be accountable for what we say we want. Chasing our dreams requires a degree of vulnerability, resilience, self-confidence, and willingness to grow — none of which you need if you just play the victim card.

Take your life back into your hands----It can be hard to feel like your life is under your control when bad things keep happening. This is especially true when success feels slow — and failure feels overwhelming.

Coach Chris Cotton

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