Temple Bound

Overcoming Toxic Perfectionism and Finding Peace in Christ with Jeff Benintendi


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Have you ever struggled with the feeling that you’re just not measuring up? In this powerful episode, we dive deep into the concept of toxic perfectionism and the freedom found in truly understanding the Savior’s commandment, "Be ye therefore perfect." Our guest Jeff Benintendi shares his intensely personal 25-year struggle with self-doubt and feeling unworthy, even while serving faithfully in the Church and as a temple worker.

Inspired by a talk from Elder Jeffrey R. Holland, we explore how the adversary distorts the gospel’s ideals, turning commandments into a source of self-loathing and despair. Jeff recounts a powerful, life-changing blessing he received that instantly lifted the burden of his chronic lack of peace of conscience, opening the floodgates to finding joy in the temple and a new perspective on true worthiness.

We discuss the vital distinction between toxic perfectionism, the fruitless self-battering that Satan loves to encourage, and being perfected in Christ, a surrender to His power and a focus on His achievements over our own failures. Learn how to discern the negative, shaming whispers of the adversary from the loving, encouraging voice of the Spirit, and discover how to finally give up the impossible quest for perfect performance to embrace the joy of the Atonement.

This episode is a must-listen for anyone who feels overwhelmed by the constant comparison of their "worst to everyone else's best," and who is ready to receive the peace that Christ offers.

Key Discussion Points:

  • Elder Holland's sympathetic counsel on feelings of self-doubt and belonging.
  • The adversary's masterful craft of turning covenants into curses and inspiration into self-loathing.
  • How comparing your "worst" to others' "best" is a destructive path.
  • The true meaning of the commandment to "Be ye therefore perfect" as a tribute to God and what we can achieve with Him.
  • Jeff's 25-year struggle with feelings of unworthiness and the spiritual breakthrough that brought instant peace.
  • Discerning between the Spirit's voice and the adversary's shaming whispers.
  • Why "beating up on ourselves" is ineffective and harmful to true spiritual growth.
  • The difference between toxic perfectionism (giving up the self-imposed, impossible performance) and being perfected in Christ (surrendering to the Savior's grace).

It's time to stop comparing your worst to everyone else's best. Discover the freedom in surrendering the impossible quest for perfect performance and embracing being perfected in Christ. Learn how to discern the shaming whispers of darkness from the loving voice of the Spirit, and find the joy and worthiness that are truly yours.

Temple Bound is Going to Kenya!

Will you join us? Temple Bound is heading to Kenya, Africa, November 2nd through the 9th, to help a local group of members attend the temple for the first time! We are also raising money for an orphanage to provide medical supplies, food, and shelter.

How You Can Help:

  1. Follow Us: Stay connected and follow our daily journey on social media! Follow us on Instagram: @TempleBoundPodcast
  2. Donate: Support our humanitarian efforts via https://www.gofundme.com/f/templebound-in-africa
  3. Come With Us: We have a limited number of seats! Reach out to join us in sharing this good work overseas.

Thanks for listening! If this episode inspired you, please share it with a friend who might be contemplating temple service.

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