In this episode I am sharing a bonus episode on the steps to healing to own your story.  There were previous episodes on owning your past, your emotions and your choices and as I broke it down, it became clear that an episode on forgiveness was a must. 

There are a ton of definitions on forgiveness and here I am sharing messages that hit home for me and have helped me to move forward, forgive and let go. One definition of forgiveness by Iyanla Vanzant is, “Forgiveness is not forgetting; it is simply denying your pain the right to control your life." Today I want to share some points on forgiveness that literally changed my life many years ago and I still continue to use these tools today. 

In this episode we discuss: 

1) The difference between wounds and scars and what are they doing to you, or how are they affecting you in your life? Acknowledge it to own it to change it, not to place blame on someone else.

2) “Until you heal the wounds of your past, you are going to bleed.  You can bandage that bleeding with alcohol, drugs, food, unhealthy items, but eventually it will all ooze through and stain your life.  You must find the strength to open the wounds up, stick your hands inside, pull out the core of the pain that is holding you in the past, the memories and make peace with them.” Iyanla Vanzant. 

3) Start somewhere small, identify something you have been holding onto and how that has or has not been serving you. Acknowledge, consider the hurt, the pain and look at how it has affected you in your life.  Next, accept what you cannot change, and observe your own reactions to your behaviour with no judgment. Decide if you agree to forgive this person and if you are ready to move away as a victim, this situation etc?  Recognize what this behaviour is doing to you and your life?

4)  Acknowledge your emotions about the harm done to you and how they affect your behavior, and work to release them. Ask yourself what can you learn from the experience? Literally let it go, through subliminal, NLP tools or subconscious reprogramming, this requires healing, and mantras to disrupt your pattern that isn’t serving you and is allowing you to hold onto this energy.  How can you repair this situation, circumstance and not let it hold you back?

5) Give yourself grace, compassion and respect that every single relationship is a reflection of your relationship with yourself.  You go first. Repair, learn, forgive, and continue to rinse and repeat as much as necessary.

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Marsha Vanwynsberghe — Author, Speaker and Life Coach

Marsha is the 6-time Bestselling Author of “When She Stopped Asking Why”.  She shares her lessons as a parent who dealt with teen substance abuse far past the level of normal experimentation.

Through her programs, coaching and live events for women, Marsha is on a mission to teach you how to “Own Your Choices” in your own life.  She teaches women how to own their stories, lead themselves and pay it forward to others by creating businesses that serve, support and impact others.