Did you know that once a month we are doing a mentor episode? What does that mean? I have come across a lot of moms that desperately want a mentor, but don’t have time to read a book. So! Each month, there will be a podcast topic and your only job is to:

1) listen to the episode

2) talk about it with a mentor or friend that is a season ahead of you

If you’re just getting started - don’t miss the first couple episodes:

• My Virtual Mentor: Why Mentorship Matters
• My Virtual Mentor: Intimacy with God

When I was mentored as a young mom, the topic of "personalities" was one of the most impactful lessons. I learned to study myself, my spouse and my kids and the benefits have been huge in my life. I am still learning all of us! 

On today’s episode, we get to hear from author, speaker and podcaster Karen Stubbs. Karen is the founder of Birds On A Wire Moms and has ministers to thousands of moms all over the world. She is passionate about challenging moms to experience motherhood in the way God designed it.

Karen gets practical about how to learn temperaments and personalities for ourselves, our spouses and each of our kids. She also reminds us that we can partner with the Holy Spirit to refine us and grow us - so that we look more and more like Him. 

If you’d like to dive deeper into this topic, you will find discussion questions, book referrals, personality tests, scripture verses and more below.

Enjoy!

Courtney

MY VIRTUAL MENTOR GUIDE (INTIMACY WITH GOD)

Scripture to memorize:

I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Psalm 139:14-15

Scriptures for prayer and study:

Galatians 5:16, 22-23

Isaiah 64:8

Ephesians 2:10

Books for further study:

Wired That Way - Marita Littauer

A Grown-Up’s Guide to Kids’ Wiring by Kathleen Edelman

Personality Plus for Couples by Florence Littauer

Personality Plus for Parents by Florence Littauer

Love Languages by Gary Chapman

The Road Back to You – Ian Cron, Suzanne Stabile

Discussion questions:

What are some of your strengths and weaknesses? And your husband’s?

How can you balance each other out as a couple?

How did God wire each of your kids? Strengths and weaknesses?

What temperaments do you need to be aware of in each kid - as you parent them?

(02:48) Understanding Personalities and Temperaments

(05:38) The Importance of Knowing Yourself

(08:26) Navigating Love Languages in Relationships

(11:09) The Role of Awareness in Personal Growth

(14:05) Integrating Faith with Personality Insights

(15:07) Understanding Personality Types in Parenting

(17:59) Navigating Different Personalities in Children

(24:18) The Importance of Personality Awareness in Parenting

(29:48) Embracing the Journey of Motherhood and Grandmotherhood

Connect with Pardon The Mess:

Christian Parenting

Pardon The Mess 

Courtney DeFeo

ORDER YOUR 2026-2027 PRAYER JOURNAL NOW

Resources from today’s show:

My Virtual Mentor: Why Mentorship Matters

My Virtual Mentor: Intimacy with God

Connect with Karen

Birds On A Wire

FREE personality quiz from Karen

Enneagram Assessment

Spiritual Gift Assessment 

Raising Boys & Girls Personality Series - start HERE

Wired That Way - Marita Littauer

A Grown-Up’s Guide to Kids’ Wiring by Kathleen Edelman

Personality Plus for Couples by Florence Littauer

Personality Plus for Parents by Florence Littauer

Love Languages by Gary Chapman

The Road Back to You – Ian Cron, Suzanne Stabile

Christian Parenting Christmas Gift Guide

Father Yourself First

NIV Application Bible

The Biggest Story Holy Bible for Kids

Prefer video? This episode is on YouTube!

Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org

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What good is it, my brothers and sisters, if someone claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save them? (James 2:14)

Rahab is an unlikely hero. She started as a Canaanite prostitute, meaning she was a fallen woman living in a fallen city, and she eventually was listed in the genealogy of Jesus. Rahab’s life shows us that while faith is not about our works, a bold faith is actively lived out.

When two Israelite spies came to Rahab’s home in Jericho, she protected them because she had heard about the things God had done. She turned away from her religion and her culture and put her trust in God. Because of this, Rahab and her family were spared when Jericho fell. In order to be saved, she had to place a scarlet cord on her window. Rahab obeyed this command knowing that she had to obey God in order to be saved. Her faith led her to action.

Faith in Jesus transforms every part of us, including our actions. Our kids will have many chances to live their faith out loud. Sometimes that will mean taking a risk or standing out from the crowd. It might look like standing up for someone who is being picked on, leaving a party, putting an end to a rumor, or speaking God’s truth to someone they care about. We can encourage our kids to let God’s truth shape their actions, because when we do that, God does incredible things.

This week, let’s pray that our kids move beyond simply believing in God in their hearts, and move toward acting boldly on that belief.

Father God, help __________ to believe in you so deeply that their actions are changed. May their life reflect your love, grace, and goodness. When it’s easier to blend in, give them the faith to stand up for you and your ways. May they live a life that glorifies and expands your kingdom. Amen.

If you love this episode and don’t have your copy of A Great Cloud of Witnesses yet, it’s not too late to get yours! Go ChristianParenting.org to get your copy and follow along. And don’t forget to tune in to Pardon the Mess every Monday for more prayer episodes. 

Order A Great Cloud of Witnesses today

Pardon the Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org

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I love the topic of family legacy! The Robertsons surely have made a name for their family that is all about faith. Joining me today on the podcast is author, speaker and TV star Korie Robertson. She is so genuine and the love that she has for her family is so evident. You have likely seen the Robertson family through their show Duck Dynasty but I love that we hear about Korie’s side of the family too. What a tremendous legacy of faith!

We chat about her experiences and insights on grandparenting, family legacy, and parenting adult children. She has always put an emphasis on “kindness” and “strength” in her home. What are some virtues or values that you hope to pass down through the generations? I love that her family called them the “Howard Principles for Life.”

My favorite part is when she talks about the importance of community and church as you are raising a family. I love that reminder because it is easy to isolate ourselves these days and we need each other.

And it’s almost November, which means my Christmas decorations are going up!!!

Enjoy!

Courtney

Chapters

(00:00) Embracing the Grandma Life

(02:49) Family Legacy and Heritage of Faith

(05:43) Intentional Parenting Values

(08:27) The Importance of Kindness and Strength

(11:19) Navigating Parenting Challenges

(14:04) Mentorship and Community Support

(16:56) Parenting Adult Children

(19:50) Encouragement for Young Moms

(22:45) Faith, Hope, and Love in Uncertain Times

Connect with Pardon The Mess:

Christian Parenting

Pardon The Mess 

Courtney DeFeo

ORDER YOUR 2026-2027 PRAYER JOURNAL NOW

Resources from today’s show:

Connect with Korie

Duck Dynasty: The Revival on Hulu 

Strong and Kind by Korie Robertson 

The Blind - movie based on Phil and Kay’s story

LO Sister - Sadie’s ministry

Quote by Dr Amen on guilt

Christian Parenting Christmas Gift Guide

Operation Christmas Child

Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” (Joshua 1:9)

Joshua was one of only two people who left Egypt and entered the promised land. He was a military leader and a spy, and eventually took over as leader of the Israelites after Moses died. He continually led the Israelites into battle and trusted in God’s promise that they would reach and enter the promised land.

Through all the battles and all the whining of the Israelites, it would have been easy for Joshua to feel overwhelmed, defeated, and afraid. And he probably did! But God continually reminded him to be strong and courageous. God did not want Joshua to rely on himself; he wanted Joshua to rely on him.

We live in a world that tells us to “believe in yourself.” In reality, that’s a lot of pressure to put on ourselves, and it’s a lot of pressure for kids to feel. As Christian parents, we know a better way. When our kids doubt themselves, when they are nervous, they don’t feel good enough, and fear of failure quietly creeps into their minds, our job is to remind them that God is with them. He will never leave them or forsake them, so they don’t have to be brave on their own. True courage does not come from relying on ourselves; it comes from relying on the one who never fails.

This week, let’s pray that our kids feel strong and courageous because of God’s never-ending presence in their life.

Jesus, help __________ to feel strong and courageous—not because they know it all and can do it all but because they have access to you who does know it all and can do it all. Help them to remember that they don’t have to muster up their own energy and strength; they can talk to you, and you will lead them just like you have led your people before. Amen.

If you love this episode and don’t have your copy of A Great Cloud of Witnesses yet, it’s not too late to get yours! Go ChristianParenting.org to get your copy and follow along. And don’t forget to tune in to Pardon the Mess every Monday for more prayer episodes. 

Order A Great Cloud of Witnesses today

Pardon the Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

This episode is one we don’t want to think about - but we must. The average age of first exposure to pornography is between age 8 and 11. Porn is everywhere. As a parent, it can feel super intimidating and scary to think about these discussions. How do we talk to our kids? What language do I use? When is the right time? How can I protect them? How can I help through this struggle?

Greta Eskridge is the author of How to Talk to Your Kids About Porn and she has a personal story of how porn almost ruined her family. You will love her honesty about her own story, her passion to help other families and the practical ways you can begin to protect your kids.

My favorite part is when she shares about our reaction as parents. We want our kids to come to us whenever they are in trouble. We want to be a safe place so a calm and steady response is required. It is natural to react in anger and fear - but don’t forget it’s not too late. She encourages parents to circle back and remind your child that they are loved and you are there to help. She also encourages us as Christians parents on how to give them a “why” that ties this issue to their faith and God’s best plan for their life.

Don’t miss this one!

Courtney

(01:03) The Journey to Addressing Pornography

(02:36) Starting the Conversation with Kids

(05:34) Creating a Safe Space for Discussion

(08:22) Navigating Technology and Safety

(13:05) Understanding the Impact of Pornography on Teens

(19:45) The Role of Parents in Teen Conversations

(24:28) Resources and Hope for Healing

Connect with Pardon The Mess:

Christian Parenting

Pardon The Mess 

Courtney DeFeo

ORDER YOUR 2026-2027 PRAYER JOURNAL NOW

Resources from today’s show:

Connect with Greta

Greta Eskridge Podcast

It’s Time To Talk to Your Kids About Porn by Greta Eskridge

Good pictures, bad pictures - book for young kids

God Made All of Me - a book to help children protect their bodies

Song on “private parts”

Protect Young Eyes - router info and more

Romans 12:12

Christian Parenting Christmas Gift Guide

Beyond the Sex Talk podcast series - Gracebased podcast

Prefer video? This episode is on YouTube!

Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Then the Lord’s anger burned against Moses and he said, “What about your brother, Aaron the Levite? I know he can speak well. He is already on his way to meet you, and he will be glad to see you.” (Exodus 4:14)

Aaron was chosen by God to support Moses in leading the Israelites out of Egypt. When Moses doubted his ability to speak, Aaron stepped in and delivered God’s messages to Pharaoh. He was Moses’s helper! He wasn’t the main leader, but his role was still important—he stood beside Moses, helped perform miracles, and guided the Israelites.

Later, God appointed Aaron as the first high priest; he had a time to support, and he had a time to lead. We know Aaron wasn’t perfect; he made a lot of mistakes, but God allows us to keep serving him despite our mistakes because he is full of grace.

It’s natural for our kids to want to be the star of the show: the leader of the friend group, the starting player on the team, first in band, line leader. But Aaron’s life reminds us that God values leaders and the people who support them. Your child will lead at times, of course, but there will also be times when they need to humbly and graciously stand by the side of another leader. Sometimes being a friend, encourager, and helper is just as important as being in charge.

This week, let’s pray that our kids seek the Lord, not the spotlight. Let’s pray that our kids honor God by serving where he places them, knowing it’s where they are meant to be to make the biggest difference.

Lord, help __________ have a heart like Aaron’s—a heart that serves, supports, and honors you. Help them to remember that they don’t need accolades from people, because those are just temporary. Instead, help them to use their gifts to glorify you in every role that you call them to. Amen.

If you love this episode and don’t have your copy of A Great Cloud of Witnesses yet, it’s not too late to get yours! Go ChristianParenting.org to get your copy and follow along. And don’t forget to tune in to Pardon the Mess every Monday for more prayer episodes. 

Order A Great Cloud of Witnesses today

Pardon the Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

You will recognize the last name “Shankle” because Melanie Shankle is a frequent guest on Pardon The Mess. Melanie is one of my favorite authors out there and it’s so fun to have her daughter, Caroline Shankle, on the podcast today.

She is so delightful and gives such a great perspective of what it’s like to be a young girl learning hard lessons with God by your side. She reflects on “3 giants teens are facing today.” From “fitting in” to “comparison” to “believing God is who He said He is.” It is so helpful for me to hear these things from a young girl that is part of my daughter’s generation.

My favorite part is when she shares about her journey with her faith. How God made it real to her during her college years. She thought she wasn’t good enough to have a strong faith. What an encouraging reminder to our teens that God wants them “just as you are.” 

Make sure you hug your teens today and remind them that their struggles are normal, validate their journey through difficult seasons, pray for them and remind them that God has them. And then send them this episode and let Caroline remind them that these giants don’t have the final say.

Enjoy!

Courtney

Chapters

(02:51) Life as a Grad Student and Author

(05:46) The Journey to Writing a Book

(08:40) Facing Giants: Fitting In and Comparison

(11:40) Believing in God: A Personal Journey

(14:30) Lessons from Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego

(17:23) Appreciating Family and Personal Growth

(20:170 Fun Questions and Closing Thoughts

Prefer video? This episode is on YouTube!

Connect with Pardon The Mess:

Christian Parenting

Pardon The Mess 

Courtney DeFeo

ORDER YOUR 2026-2027 PRAYER JOURNAL NOW

Resources from today’s show:

Connect with Caroline

Caroline’s new book - The Lion and the Bear 

Melanie’s episode on Storytellers Live (watching Caroline struggle)

Impact - A&M freshmen retreat

Melanie Shankle on Pardon The Mess

Here Be Dragons by Melanie Shankle

Christian Parenting Christmas Gift Guide

Christian Parenting resources

10 Questions Series

Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

The greatest among you must be a servant. But those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted. (Matthew 23:11–12 NLT)

Moses’s life was full of ups and downs. But he is forever known as a great and humble leader. When Moses was born, Pharaoh had ordered all Hebrew baby boys to be killed, but God had a different plan for Moses’s life: He was saved by God’s plan and raised in Pharaoh’s palace. And in another turn of events, God called Moses to lead his people out of Egypt and out of slavery. Moses was a leader among the Israelites, and it cost him everything—his family, his lifestyle, his comfort, and his reputation.

Moses was not always a confident leader; he initially doubted himself and asked God to send someone else. Someone more eloquent. Someone more prepared. Someone more capable. But the mission to free the Israelites wasn’t about Moses—it was about God.

Humble leadership starts with putting God first and knowing that his power works through us. When we follow God, he directs our every step. God doesn’t call perfect leaders; he calls willing ones.

Our kids may not lead a people group to freedom, but they will most likely have opportunities to stand up for what is right, help others, and lead others in the way of the Lord. They may feel unequipped at times, just like Moses did, but as parents, we can remind them that when God says go, we don’t say no—because he equips those he calls.

This week, let’s pray that our kids grow to be leaders who rely on God’s strength before their own.

God, I pray that __________ would be a faithful and humble leader who answers your call, follows you, and confidently relies on your strength to accomplish the tasks you set before them. When they feel unequipped or unprepared, remind them that you will give them all they need. Help them to take their focus off themselves and onto you and your power. Amen.

If you love this episode and don’t have your copy of A Great Cloud of Witnesses yet, it’s not too late to get yours! Go ChristianParenting.org to get your copy and follow along. And don’t forget to tune in to Pardon the Mess every Monday for more prayer episodes. 

Order A Great Cloud of Witnesses today

Pardon the Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

How are the habits of your family? How is your physical health? Mental health? Spiritual health? This is an episode that is so needed for couples. I would LOVE for you to listen with your spouse and then find time to discuss it.

Justin Earley shares about this mental health breakdown as a young dad and how God brought him to this current place of healing. As you know, I have struggled with my health for many years and I needed every word of this episode. 

We talk about the necessary merging of our physical health and our spiritual health. He shares some common misconceptions, practical tips to feel better and patterns that could help turn your entire family towards health.

My favorite part is when he talks about God’s grace and the reminder that it’s not too late. We can change the direction our family is headed. We can change the direction we are headed. It may be slow but it can happen. I am so thankful for Justin’s story and this unique way of sharing God’s truth with real life lessons.

Enjoy!

Courtney 

(02:57) Parenting Challenges and Prioritizing Family

(05:40) The Impact of Work on Family Life

(08:32) Mental Health and Parenting

(11:27) Developing Healthy Habits

(14:16) Spiritual and Physical Health Connection

(17:08) The Role of Discipline in Parenting

(19:58) The Importance of Self-Care

(22:41) Miracles and Transformation

(25:28) Conclusion and Encouragement

Prefer video? This episode is on YouTube!

Connect with Pardon The Mess:

Christian Parenting

Pardon The Mess 

Courtney DeFeo

ORDER YOUR 2026-2027 PRAYER JOURNAL NOW

Resources from today’s show:

Christian Parenting Christmas Gift Guide

Christian Parenting resources

Connect with Justin

The Body Teaches the Soul - newest book

Habits of the Household 

The Common Rule

Made for People 

Podcast episode about Family Rhythms with the Lyons

Choosing to Cheat by Andy Stanley

Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

I will praise the Lord at all times.

I will constantly speak his praises.

I will boast only in the Lord;

let all who are helpless take heart.

Come, let us tell of the Lord’s greatness;

let us exalt his name together.

I prayed to the Lord, and he answered me.

He freed me from all my fears. (Psalm 34:1–4 NLT)

The story of Job is a tough story to read and process through. Why would God allow such immense suffering? Job was a righteous man and Satan knew it, so he challenged God and told him that Job would not continue to praise God if he took everything good away from him. Job lost his sheep, his servants, his kids, and his health. But Job continued to praise God. Despite his circumstances, he never stopped believing God was in control and would redeem his hurts.

We want to protect our kids from hurt and loss. Even thinking of my kids suffering through extreme loss like Job makes my heart shatter. But the reality is that our kids will face some sort of loss. From small losses like not making the team to huge losses like the death of a loved one, each individual loss will feel like a hole in their heart. When they feel that, it is an opportunity for us to show them that faith in God is not about everything going right; it is about believing in his promises no matter what our circumstances are.

It’s easy to love God when things are going right. Every good and perfect gift is from above, so we should praise God for all the good things he gives us. But God does not deserve our praise just because he blesses us, God deserves our praise because he saved us. God’s character remains the same regardless of our circumstances, so we can praise God for who he is, no matter what we are going through.

This week, let’s pray that our kids turn to God when things get hard and know that he is continually working for good in their lives, even if they can’t see it.

Jesus, you are good all the time. Please comfort __________ when they seem to be in an unending season of struggle like Job. And even in times of trouble and distress, I pray that __________ will praise you, knowing that your ways are not our ways, and your time is not our time, but you are always good and always with us. May they grow up to be a person who praises you in word and action through their entire life. Amen.

If you love this episode and don’t have your copy of A Great Cloud of Witnesses yet, it’s not too late to get yours! Go ChristianParenting.org to get your copy and follow along. And don’t forget to tune in to Pardon the Mess every Monday for more prayer episodes. 

Order A Great Cloud of Witnesses today

Pardon the Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy