Did you know we release a My Virtual Mentor episode once a month? Each one is designed to help you grow and then process what you’re learning with a mentor or trusted friend who’s a season ahead of you.

This month’s conversation is one every family needs, but many couples struggle to live out. I’m joined by Ashley Willis, speaker, author, and co-host of The Naked Marriage Podcast, to talk about prioritizing your marriage while raising kids.

We all say our marriage comes first, but actually living that way takes intentionality. Ashley shares honest encouragement and practical wisdom for couples who feel stretched thin—and especially for those who may be losing hope. Don’t miss her practical advice at the end.

If you’re just getting started - don’t miss the previous episodes:

• My Virtual Mentor: Why Mentorship Matters
• My Virtual Mentor: Intimacy with God
• My Virtual Mentor: Personalities and Temperaments
• My Virtual Mentor: Stewardship & Generosity 
• My Virtual Mentor: Time Management & Creating Margin
• My Virtual Mentor: Identity in Christ (Part 1 and Part 2)

00:00 Introduction 

05:56 Practical Tips for Prioritizing Marriage

08:52 The Role of Counseling in Marriage

11:57 Building a Supportive Community

15:41 Navigating Hard Seasons in Marriage

20:52 The Role of Intimacy in Marriage

24:45 Encouragement for Struggling Moms

27:27 Witnessing God's Miracles in Marriage

31:21 Closing Thoughts and Prayer

MY VIRTUAL MENTOR GUIDE (MARRIAGE)

Scripture to memorize:

Colossians 3:13-14

Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.

Scriptures for prayer and study:

Romans 12:3, I Peter 3:8-9, Philippians 2:1-5, Proverbs 5:15-19

Books for further study:

• Do Marriage Better with – Ashley Willis
• Us In Mind – Ted Lowe
• Marriage – Paul David Tripp
• You and Me Forever – Francis and Lisa Chan

Discussion questions:

What is the most rewarding part of being married?

What is the most challenging part of being married?

What are your prayers for your marriage?

What is God nudging you to focus on - how you can improve your role in marriage?

Connect with Pardon The Mess:

• Christian Parenting
• Pardon The Mess 
• Courtney DeFeo
• Prefer video? This episode is on YouTube!

ORDER YOUR 2026-2027 PRAYER JOURNAL NOW

Resources from today’s show:

• Connect with Ashley
• XO Marriage
• Naked Marriage Podcast 
• Married Into the Family - book by Ashley Willis
• Do Marriage Better - Ashley and Dave’s latest book
• Resources from Titus 2 Mentoring
• Sign up for Morning Minute
• Christian Parenting
• Open a LearningRX center
• The Hunt for the Kraken

Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org

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See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him. (1 John 3:1)

In Mark 3:17 we learn that Jesus gave his disciple John and his brother James the nickname “sons of thunder.” There was probably a good reason for that nickname, likely their enthusiastic and passionate faith. But interestingly, John later refers to himself as “the disciple whom Jesus loved” (John 13:23). So why the change? It seems a little odd and not quite the humility that Christ calls us to.

John had a close relationship with Jesus. Through all his experiences with Jesus, all the miracles he witnessed and lessons he was taught, John truly knew he was loved by Jesus. John spent so much time with Jesus that he was changed from a thunderous man of faith to one who was immersed in perfect love.

God’s love leaves a permanent mark. Even when life is hard, we can be confident that God’s love is real, constant, and personal. His love isn’t just something we read about in the Bible or hear about at church; it’s something that we can experience every single day. We want our kids to walk so closely with God that they are changed from the inside out—soft yet emboldened, gentle yet confident. And we want our kids to stand firm in their faith, knowing that God truly, perfectly loves them.

Let’s pray that our kids know how much God loves them and are transformed because of that love.

Jesus, thank you for loving us perfectly. Help __________ know that you love them and are there for them. Give them a heart to follow you and remind them that they can rely on your love. As they grow in faith, may they spend so much time with you that they change and become like you. Amen.

If you love this episode and don’t have your copy of A Great Cloud of Witnesses yet, it’s not too late to get yours! Go ChristianParenting.org to get your copy and follow along. And don’t forget to tune in to Pardon the Mess every Monday for more prayer episodes. 

Order A Great Cloud of Witnesses today

Pardon the Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org

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It’s easy to lose yourself in motherhood. In this episode, Ashlee Gadd shares how moms can rediscover their creativity and passions—even in the chaos of raising kids.

We talk about embracing the truth that we’re all creative, making space for joy in every season, and why hospitality doesn’t have to be perfect to matter.

Ashlee’s new book, You’re in Good Company, explores friendship, motherhood, and showing up for one another. I hope this conversation encourages you to carve out a little margin for what brings you life.

Chapters:

00:00 Introduction

04:00 The Nature of Creativity in Motherhood

08:12 The Importance of Modeling Creativity

11:34 Finding Connection with Growing Children

18:11 The Impact of Intentional Gifts

21:01 Navigating Creative Identity as a Mother

27:21 Embracing New Seasons of Motherhood

29:19 The Importance of Self-Care in Creativity

Connect with Pardon The Mess:

Christian Parenting

Pardon The Mess 

Courtney DeFeo

ORDER YOUR 2026-2027 PRAYER JOURNAL NOW

Resources from today’s show:

Connect with Ashlee

Coffee and Crumbs

You’re In Good Company (pre-order her new book)

Create Anyway (recent book on motherhood and creativity)

Sign up for Morning Minute

Christian Parenting

Open a LearningRX center

Prefer video? This episode is on YouTube!

Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org

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Have you ever felt busy all day long but still wondered if any of it really mattered?

This week’s episode is a little different and so special. I’m sharing a conversation from another Christian Parenting podcast, Pardon the Mess, hosted by the wonderful Courtney DeFeo. I first heard her interview with Elaine Franklin years ago, and honestly, it stuck with me in such a meaningful way. So when I saw them sit down together again, I knew I had to share it with you.

This conversation is all about time, but not in the way you might expect. It’s not about doing more or getting more organized. It’s about living with intention, clarity, and peace in the middle of full lives.

Here are four takeaways that really stood out:

1. Why understanding your circle of care vs. circle of responsibility can completely shift how you spend your time
2. The importance of defining your purpose and mission before building your schedule
3. How margin isn’t lazy, it’s protective for your faith, your family, and your well-being
4. Why creating a “to stop” list might be the most freeing productivity tool you’ve never tried

This episode is packed with practical wisdom, but more than that, it’s an invitation to step out of the hustle and into a more thoughtful, life-giving rhythm. If you’ve been feeling stretched thin or a little out of alignment, I think this one will really meet you right where you are.

Elaine Franklin is a speaker, coach, and author who helps individuals and families align their time and priorities with their God-given purpose. Through her teaching, she offers practical and biblical tools for creating margin, setting healthy boundaries, and living with intention in every season of life.

Resources Mentioned

Sign up for Morning Minute

Christian Parenting

Open a LearningRX center

Prefer video? This episode is on YouTube!

The Christian Parenting Podcast is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org

Our Sponsors:
* Check out Avocado Green Mattress: https:// AvocadoGreenMattress.com/MESS


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Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. (Matthew 7:7)

Nicodemus was a Pharisee and a member of the Jewish ruling council. He knew the Scriptures better than anyone. And still, people were talking about Jesus’s teachings and miracles and Nicodemus wanted to know more, so he went to Jesus in the night and asked him questions.

Nicodemus asking questions led to Jesus explaining one of the most important parts of the Christian faith—why Jesus came and what it takes to truly follow him and enter his kingdom. Jesus explained that to be saved, a person has to be born again.

Nicodemus had all the answers on paper, but he must have known something was missing in his heart, and he sought out Jesus to find out what. We should be curious about our faith too. Questions about faith do not have to be scary—they can be viewed as an opportunity to learn more about the heart of God.

We want our kids to make their faith their own because a personal, deeply rooted faith is more likely to transform them. An inherited faith is more likely to fall apart when things fall apart. Asking questions is part of the process of maturing spiritually and making faith their own, so we should encourage it!

This week, let’s pray that our kids seek after Jesus and ask the right questions to make their faith their own.

Jesus, thank you for answering our prayers and our questions. When __________ has questions, may they always come to you, knowing you will answer them and that you care for them. Help them to grow strong and confident in their own faith. Amen.

If you love this episode and don’t have your copy of A Great Cloud of Witnesses yet, it’s not too late to get yours! Go ChristianParenting.org to get your copy and follow along. And don’t forget to tune in to Pardon the Mess every Monday for more prayer episodes. 

Order A Great Cloud of Witnesses today

Pardon the Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org

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This episode is for all moms raising kids of all seasons. My guest, Kim Anderson, is a Nashville therapist who began her career as an elementary teacher before transitioning to counseling. She is driven by a desire to support whole families through life's challenges. She is the founder of Elevate Moms, a faith community where mothers can heal, grow, and connect. 

This super practical episode is beyond encouraging. Kim helps us think through many difficult challenges of parenting in today’s world. She focuses on the importance of emotional regulation, attunement, and setting boundaries. Our discussion covers how to navigate difficult conversations with children, the significance of understanding mental health, and the balance between advocating for children and allowing them to develop resilience.

My favorite part is when Kim encourages us to take care of our own emotional well-being to better support our children. She reminds us that being “perfect” at parenting isn’t possible. And it’s more than okay to be imperfect. I pray you will breathe a little lighter today after hearing Kim’s encouragement. 

Enjoy!

Courtney

Connect with Pardon The Mess:

Christian Parenting

Pardon The Mess 

Courtney DeFeo

ORDER YOUR 2026-2027 PRAYER JOURNAL NOW

Resources from today’s show:

Connect with Kim Anderson

Elevate Moms

Family Room Membership

Technology Guide (with contract)

30% is “good enough” parenting

Understanding attachment styles with David Thomas and Sissy Goff

Sign up for Morning Minute

I Can Only Imagine 2

Disciplines of Devotion Series

LearningRX

Prefer video? This episode is on YouTube!

Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org

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And when Elizabeth heard the greeting of Mary, the baby leaped in her womb. And Elizabeth was filled with the Holy Spirit, and she exclaimed with a loud cry, “Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb! And why is this granted to me that the mother of my Lord should come to me? For behold, when the sound of your greeting came to my ears, the baby in my womb leaped for joy. And blessed is she who believed that there would be a fulfillment of what was spoken to her from the Lord.” (Luke 1:41–45 ESV)

There’s a beautiful scene between two relatives in Luke 1, as we read about the coming of Jesus. Elizabeth was pregnant with John the Baptist, and her cousin Mary had just been told by an angel that she would give birth to a son and he would be named Jesus, the Son of the Most High. Imagine having this kind of news and needing to process this with a friend. And it’s especially tricky when you are a virgin and learn you are expecting a child.

In Luke 1, Mary visited her relative Elizabeth to tell her the unexpected and life-changing news. At the moment she entered, the baby leaped in Elizabeth’s womb and Elizabeth was filled with the Holy Spirit.

The interesting part about this moment is Elizabeth’s joy in her response to Mary’s news. She could’ve been a little confused that her cousin had just “one-upped” her by sharing that she was pregnant with the Savior of the world. Instead, she recognized that the Lord was fulfilling his promises through Mary. It was a moment of pure support, praise, and celebration. She immediately proclaimed, “Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb” (Luke 1:42 KJV).

Throughout the Bible, and even in today’s culture, we see moments of jealousy and comparison. Even in Christian communities, we see jealousy and discontentment when God is blessing others. Let’s pray that our children respond to their friends just like Elizabeth did to Mary. Let’s pray that they trust the Lord with their paths and step in as the first one to celebrate with joy for their friends and family.

Jesus, when __________ has a friend or a family member who has great news, let them be the first to celebrate. Let them cast aside the feelings of jealousy and stand firmly in their own journey with God. Let them be known as friends who praise what God is doing in the lives around them.

If you love this episode and don’t have your copy of A Great Cloud of Witnesses yet, it’s not too late to get yours! Go ChristianParenting.org to get your copy and follow along. And don’t forget to tune in to Pardon the Mess every Monday for more prayer episodes. 

Order A Great Cloud of Witnesses today

Pardon the Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org

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She’s baaacccckkkk!!! The creator and original host of Pardon The Mess podcast, Cynthia Yanof, is back with us today. She is one of the funniest people I’ve ever met. Aside from great humor, she brings real life encouragement with biblical truth.

In today’s episode, Cynthia and I chat about what matters most in life. As we look ahead to 2026 - where can we spend our time in a way that matters? I remember many moments in life I was all worked up and stressed over things in parenting that really didn't matter. I pray you feel seen and so much needed permission to let things go after this conversation.

Cynthia shares beautiful stories about parenting, faith and friendship in a way that leaves me feeling encouraged. She has such a heart for prayer and is the reason we pray every Monday as a community. I’m super thankful for the legacy she left over here at Pardon the Mess!

Enjoy

Courtney 

Chapters:

(00:00) Welcome Back and Podcast Journey

(02:30) Navigating Parenting and New Projects

(05:01) Life with Kids: Balancing Ages and Stages

(08:05) What Really Matters in Parenting

(12:19) The Importance of Rest and Margin

(13:04) Urgency vs. Importance in Parenting

(16:11) Lessons Beyond the Game

(16:27) Navigating Parenting Pressures

(18:48) The Importance of Friendship

(24:55) Faith and Love in Action

Connect with Pardon The Mess:

Christian Parenting

Pardon The Mess 

Courtney DeFeo

ORDER YOUR 2026-2027 PRAYER JOURNAL NOW

Resources from today’s show:

Connect with Cynthia

Messmerized Podcast

Sidetracked Podcast

Feeding the Mouth That Bites You Podcast

How’d I Miss That? (new book) by Cynthia Yanof

Life Is Messy, God is Good by Cythia Yanof

Sign up for Morning Minute

Christian Parenting

Raising Daughters

I Can Only Imagine 2

Open a LearningRX center

Prefer video? This episode is on YouTube!

Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org

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Paul said, “John’s baptism was a baptism of repentance. He told the people to believe in the one coming after him, that is, in Jesus.” (Acts 19:4)

Do you love the Olympics and watching teams compete? It can be so inspiring to watch a team of swimmers work together in a relay or a track and field star pass his baton to the next runner. Each team member is important. It’s a powerful reminder to do our part with excellence.

In the life of John the Baptist, we see a devoted follower of Jesus do his part with great faithfulness. He didn’t even know what his effort and work would mean in the end, but he obeyed and trusted. John spread the good news of the coming Messiah so that people were ready for him; his entire ministry was planting seeds in the hearts of the people. Some even asked if he was the Messiah, but he always pointed people back to Christ (John 1:19–28).

It’s fun to imagine that somehow our own stories of faith are a part of one giant race with batons passing through generations. When we teach our kids about Jesus, we are planting seeds in their hearts. We don’t know what those seeds will grow into, but we can trust that they will take the baton we pass to them and continue to pass it to others.

Let’s pray that our kids trust their calling over their lives and realize their greater impact in God’s big story.

Jesus, thank you that we get to be part of your greater story. Lead __________ to hear your call on their life. Help them to worry less about earthly things and more about trusting you. Give them opportunities to plant seeds in the hearts of people around them and be obedient in joyfully sharing your good news! Amen.

If you love this episode and don’t have your copy of A Great Cloud of Witnesses yet, it’s not too late to get yours! Go ChristianParenting.org to get your copy and follow along. And don’t forget to tune in to Pardon the Mess every Monday for more prayer episodes. 

Order A Great Cloud of Witnesses today

Pardon the Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org

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Did you know that once a month we are doing a mentor episode? We will cover a different topic each month in hopes to provide helpful content for you and your local mentor.

1) listen to the episode

2) talk about it with a mentor or friend that is a season ahead of you

If you’re just getting started - don’t miss the previous episodes:

• My Virtual Mentor: Why Mentorship Matters
• My Virtual Mentor: Intimacy with God
• My Virtual Mentor: Personalities and Temperaments
• My Virtual Mentor: Stewardship & Generosity 
• My Virtual Mentor: Time Management & Creating Margin

Today’s episode comes to you in two parts. The first episode is with author, speaker and amazing mom Sara Hagerty. She has such a genuine heart to keep her life rooted in Jesus. We talk all about how identity is a challenging topic for us as moms. We care so much about how we do as moms - and we can get really rattled if it doesn’t go well. Our identity can quickly become rattled if we have it tethered to the wrong source.

I also wanted to release a second episode today that I believe will practically help you think through “identity.” The week that I recorded Sara on this topic, my own heart was wrestling with what God says about our identity. I stumbled across this message by pastor Preston Morrison and it rocked my world. I got his permission to re-air it for you. Do not miss the truth and clarity that Preston provides around our “identity in Christ.” 

My favorite part is the humility that Sara brings to the table. She is so honest with how hard motherhood can be and she invites us to bring God into every single disappointment and hard circumstance. She urges us to lean into the very things that drive us crazy. 

Enjoy!

Courtney

(02:59) Navigating Motherhood and Identity

(05:57) The Struggles of Motherhood

(08:59) Finding God in the Chaos

(12:05) The Unseen Work of Motherhood

(15:00) Embracing the Struggles

(17:56) The Impact of God’s Attributes

(18:20) Understanding God Through Adoration

(21:43) The Journey of Self-Discovery and Identity

(24:52) The Importance of Limitations in Parenting

(28:29) Navigating Identity Beyond Achievements

(32:52) Finding Beauty in Boundaries

(36:39) Embracing Loss and Suffering in Motherhood

MY VIRTUAL MENTOR GUIDE (IDENTITY)

Scripture to memorize:

Galatians 2:20

I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.

Scriptures for prayer and study:

Verses on Identity

Books for further study:

• In His Image – Jen Wilkin
• Made for More: An Invitation to Live in God’s Image – Hannah Anderson

Discussion questions:

Have you struggled with your identity?

In what seasons have you questioned your identity?

Who does God say that we are?

Is there a time you attached what you “do” to your identity? 

Connect with Pardon The Mess:

Christian Parenting

Pardon The Mess 

Courtney DeFeo

ORDER YOUR 2026-2027 PRAYER JOURNAL NOW

Resources from today’s show:

Connect with Sara

Unseen by Sara Hagerty

Adore by Sara Hagerty

The Gift of Limitations by Sara Hagerty

Preston Morrison podcast, The Leader’s Cut

Part 1 episode with Sara Hagerty

Resources from Titus 2 Mentoring

Sign up for Morning Minute

Christian Parenting

Raising Daughters

Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org

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