Personal Mastery with Jerry Henderson

When I first connected with my therapist, Lisa, I had no idea just how transformative her unique approach to trauma would prove to be for me. 

This episode marks the beginning of a series where Lisa and I have conversations about trauma, shame, and healing!

Lisa and I discuss the disconnection from self and the survival instincts that often come from trauma. 

We reflect on our own paths through pain and the empowering role therapy has played in rediscovering our worth, a conversation that promises to resonate deeply with anyone who's ever felt lost in their own story.

In this episode, we discuss: 

• How trauma can be an insidious force, severing the connection with who we truly are as a coping mechanism. 
• Lisa and I grapple with the idea of self-separation, a concept all too familiar to those who've experienced childhood trauma. 
• Why we self abandon and how to start healing
• How we can return to ourselves as the source of our own healing. 
• Together, we explore the journey back to the inner child, the gradual restoration of trust and self-love, and the realization that our world can once again be a place of safety and exploration. 

Our candid discussion serves as an invitation to listeners to embark on their own healing process, one gentle step at a time.

If you would like to work with Lisa as a therapist or coach, you can contact her by email at [email protected]

We hope this episode serves you on your journey of returning to yourself!

I am grateful you are here,
Jerry

COMPLEMENTARY STRATEGY CALL:
Schedule Call

OVERCOMING SHAME COURSE:

ACESS COURSE HERE

Watch On Youtube

Website:
www.jerryhenderson.org

How is your relationship with yourself going?
Get your free-self assessment guide

Pick up your copy of my book:
Returning: Meditations and Reflections on Self-Love and Healing

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Instagram: @jerryahenderson

Linkedin: www.linkedin.com/in/jerryahenderson

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Do you feel like you are constantly apologizing? Do you say you're sorry for saying you're sorry? Does always feeling like you need to apologize cause you to feel bad about yourself, and do you wish you could break the pattern? 

Maybe you are an auto apologizer? Someone who says they are sorry automatically, almost as a reflex for anything and to everyone. Maybe you apologize to keep the peace? Or maybe you apologize as a defense mechanism to get ahead of others' criticism of you?

If any of this describes you, then this episode is for you. In this episode, you will learn:

1. The impact over-apologizing is having on us
2. The reasons why we over-apologize
3. The connection between over-apologizing and trauma
4. How to stop over apologizing
5. The triggers of why and when you apologize
6. Identifying the feelings behind when you apologize
7. Learning new language to use instead of "I'm sorry."
8. How to put it all into practice

 I am grateful you are here, and thank you for being a part of this community.

I am grateful you are here,
Jerry

COMPLEMENTARY STRATEGY CALL:
Schedule Call

OVERCOMING SHAME COURSE:

ACESS COURSE HERE

Watch On Youtube

Website:
www.jerryhenderson.org

How is your relationship with yourself going?
Get your free-self assessment guide

Pick up your copy of my book:
Returning: Meditations and Reflections on Self-Love and Healing

Get Your Free Weekly Tips!

Instagram: @jerryahenderson

Linkedin: www.linkedin.com/in/jerryahenderson

Disclaimer

Learning to have fun is a big part of the healing process. ESPECIALLY when nothing feels, sounds, or seems fun!

In this episode, we take a look at the following:   

1. The reasons we don't allow ourselves to have fun, such as:
   1. We are taking our healing so seriously that we simply forget to have fun. 
   2. We don’t feel like we have earned it or deserve it yet. 
   3. We are addicted to feeling bad, and we have carried that over into our healing process.
   4. We were never allowed to have fun, so we don’t know what it looks or feels like. 
2. The benefits of play in healing:
   1.  Research shows that play stimulates endorphins, oxytocin, dopamine, norepinephrine, GABA, and serotonin. This release of positive chemicals can help break the loop and addiction to feeling bad!
   2. Play shows our brains that we believe we are worthy of having fun.
   3. It helps lighten up the healing journey and keeps us from “healing burnout.”
   4. Connecting us with our inner child that needs to be given permission to heal and play.

 If you don’t know how to play, you’re in good company. I didn’t either. I’m still learning. Yes, you might feel awkward and even phony in the beginning. That’s okay. You will get there. Be patient and kind to yourself.

I hope this episode helps you in learning to have fun again or for the first time!

I am grateful you are here,
Jerry

COMPLEMENTARY STRATEGY CALL:
Schedule Call

OVERCOMING SHAME COURSE:

ACESS COURSE HERE

Watch On Youtube

Website:
www.jerryhenderson.org

How is your relationship with yourself going?
Get your free-self assessment guide

Pick up your copy of my book:
Returning: Meditations and Reflections on Self-Love and Healing

Get Your Free Weekly Tips!

Instagram: @jerryahenderson

Linkedin: www.linkedin.com/in/jerryahenderson

Disclaimer

The inner critic is that part of us that seems to never give us a break. It’s the constant toxic negative self-talk that we engage with, and it has a significant impact on our nervous systems.
 
 It contributes to anxiety, depression, social anxiety, and several other mental, emotional, and physical challenges. It can be a key manifestation of trauma, and the resulting shame that comes from it. 
 
There is a lot of advice out there about healing the inner critic. I have found most of it to be rather unhelpful and actually, at times, harmful. Most of it tells people to shame the inner critic, give it a negative name, and tell it to shut up or F-off. 
 
What this advice fails to see is that the inner critic is a part of you. A part of you that is trying to serve you. 
 
When you attack the inner critic with the voice of another inner critic, you only strengthen it and keep the shame cycle going. 
 
A more hopeful, loving, and effective approach is available to us if we will choose it. 
 
In working with people 1:1, I ALWAYS start with this process:
 
1.         See that it is a part of you.
2.         Treat that part of you with radical kindness.
3.         Understand how that part of you is trying to keep you safe.
4.         Realize that the thoughts are just that, thoughts, and not you! Thoughts coming from a part of you that is scared and in pain. 
5.         Identify what it is trying to keep you safe from?
6.         Build healthy narratives and practices that make that part of you feel safe.
7.         Practice rewiring the negative habitual thoughts with loving thoughts
 
These are some of the processes that have worked wonderfully for me and for the people that I work with. 
 
For resources that can help, DM me on instagram with the word  READY for the link to these resources.
 
Current resources:
1.      The Permission To Love Podcast
2.      Weekly Newsletter
3.      Weekly SM content
4.      Self-Love Meditation
5.      Private Coaching Sessions
6.      1:1 Coaching Program
7.      Group Coaching
 
You are worthy of your own love,
Jerry

I am grateful you are here,
Jerry

COMPLEMENTARY STRATEGY CALL:
Schedule Call

OVERCOMING SHAME COURSE:

ACESS COURSE HERE

Watch On Youtube

Website:
www.jerryhenderson.org

How is your relationship with yourself going?
Get your free-self assessment guide

Pick up your copy of my book:
Returning: Meditations and Reflections on Self-Love and Healing

Get Your Free Weekly Tips!

Instagram: @jerryahenderson

Linkedin: www.linkedin.com/in/jerryahenderson

Disclaimer

Do you feel like you have a block to love? No matter how hard you try, do you keep resisting the love of others and your own love? 

It's a painful place to be, but fortunately, we can heal and open our hearts to love fully and to be loved. 

In this episode, we discuss the signs of resistance, its origins, and how the power of self-love can open us up to receive love.

Our resistance towards love often comes from painful experiences that cause us to develop fearful stories about what love is! 

We can drop those stories and choose a more loving and hopeful story. 
In this episode, I have also included an exercise that I hope helps you to identify and heal the painful stories you have about love. 

I am grateful you are here,
Jerry

COMPLEMENTARY STRATEGY CALL:
Schedule Call

OVERCOMING SHAME COURSE:

ACESS COURSE HERE

Watch On Youtube

Website:
www.jerryhenderson.org

How is your relationship with yourself going?
Get your free-self assessment guide

Pick up your copy of my book:
Returning: Meditations and Reflections on Self-Love and Healing

Get Your Free Weekly Tips!

Instagram: @jerryahenderson

Linkedin: www.linkedin.com/in/jerryahenderson

Disclaimer

"I am not who you think I am, I am not who I think I am, I am who I think you think I am." - Charles Horton Cooley

Ever feel like you're living your life according to someone else's script? Always trying to win others' approval or getting them to accept you?

Ever find yourself losing sleep over the opinions of others and what you think they think of you?

In this episode, we look at how we can get free from having our lives being controlled by the opinions of others.

I am grateful you are here,
Jerry

COMPLEMENTARY STRATEGY CALL:
Schedule Call

OVERCOMING SHAME COURSE:

ACESS COURSE HERE

Watch On Youtube

Website:
www.jerryhenderson.org

How is your relationship with yourself going?
Get your free-self assessment guide

Pick up your copy of my book:
Returning: Meditations and Reflections on Self-Love and Healing

Get Your Free Weekly Tips!

Instagram: @jerryahenderson

Linkedin: www.linkedin.com/in/jerryahenderson

Disclaimer

Rumi — 'Recognize that unlearning is the highest form of learning.'

I remember the day I read that quote. It somehow struck me to the core and awakened something in me. I realized at that moment that while all my efforts of learning about trauma, shame, addictions, and the healing process were beautiful, I needed to focus just as much, if not more, on unlearning.

Unlearning the things that others told me about myself. Unlearning the way that I thought relationships worked and what love looked like. Unlearning how I saw myself and what I believed about myself. And most importantly UNLEARNING THE BARRIERS I HAD TO GIVING MYSELF PERMISSION TO LOVE MYSELF.

In this episode, we take a look at the following:

• The principle of unlearning in wisdom literature 
• The importance of unlearning in healing
• What is unlearning?
• How can we and how do we unlearn?
• An exercise in unlearning
• Being teachable and humble in unlearning
• Letting go of what we think we know
• The gap between letting go and relearning
• How do we relearn?

I am so grateful you are here, and I hope this episode serves you in your journey.

I am grateful you are here,
Jerry

COMPLEMENTARY STRATEGY CALL:
Schedule Call

OVERCOMING SHAME COURSE:

ACESS COURSE HERE

Watch On Youtube

Website:
www.jerryhenderson.org

How is your relationship with yourself going?
Get your free-self assessment guide

Pick up your copy of my book:
Returning: Meditations and Reflections on Self-Love and Healing

Get Your Free Weekly Tips!

Instagram: @jerryahenderson

Linkedin: www.linkedin.com/in/jerryahenderson

Disclaimer

What comes to mind when you hear the words self-love? Do images of people acting arrogant or prideful pop up in your mind? Do you have fears that if you practice self-love, others will judge and label you?

Have you defined self-love in such a way that you feel like you will never be worthy of it?

The meaning and the stories that we have about what self-love is and what self-love isn't need to change so that we can be free to unconditionally love ourselves.

In this episode, we take a practical look at the definitions we have around self-love. Many of us have limiting beliefs about self-love that are blocking our ability to practice it.

I am grateful you are here,
Jerry

COMPLEMENTARY STRATEGY CALL:
Schedule Call

OVERCOMING SHAME COURSE:

ACESS COURSE HERE

Watch On Youtube

Website:
www.jerryhenderson.org

How is your relationship with yourself going?
Get your free-self assessment guide

Pick up your copy of my book:
Returning: Meditations and Reflections on Self-Love and Healing

Get Your Free Weekly Tips!

Instagram: @jerryahenderson

Linkedin: www.linkedin.com/in/jerryahenderson

Disclaimer

We have all heard the research about the benefits of gratitude. We have been encouraged to keep our chins up, be grateful for what we have, and keep a gratitude journal to remind us of how blessed we are.

 But what happens when you can't see to find it in you to practice gratitude? What happens when the trauma you experienced puts you in survival mode, and you don't seem to have any capacity left for gratitude?

 In this episode, we take an honest look at the following:

•          How trauma impacts our ability to practice gratitude

•          The benefits of gratitude

•          Practical tips for how to practice gratitude

•          Learning to be grateful for yourself

•          A 7-day gratitude challenge

 May you know that I am truly grateful for you and that you can find the space within yourself to live in a spirit of gratitude.

I am grateful you are here,
Jerry

COMPLEMENTARY STRATEGY CALL:
Schedule Call

OVERCOMING SHAME COURSE:

ACESS COURSE HERE

Watch On Youtube

Website:
www.jerryhenderson.org

How is your relationship with yourself going?
Get your free-self assessment guide

Pick up your copy of my book:
Returning: Meditations and Reflections on Self-Love and Healing

Get Your Free Weekly Tips!

Instagram: @jerryahenderson

Linkedin: www.linkedin.com/in/jerryahenderson

Disclaimer

In this first episode of several episodes to come on the lessons that I learned while living nomadically, I share my experience and struggles with practicing solitude. 

Solitude is something we often avoid, but it can be the very thing we need to truly understand ourselves and what we need to heal. 

Solitude can be uncomfortable, and that is okay; in fact, that discomfort is part of what we need to release the pain that is inside of us and let go of the things that are holding us back. 

I hope this episode can help you in the practice of solitude as a way to hear your own soul speaking to you and to understand what you need on your journey. 

I am grateful you are here,
Jerry

COMPLEMENTARY STRATEGY CALL:
Schedule Call

OVERCOMING SHAME COURSE:

ACESS COURSE HERE

Watch On Youtube

Website:
www.jerryhenderson.org

How is your relationship with yourself going?
Get your free-self assessment guide

Pick up your copy of my book:
Returning: Meditations and Reflections on Self-Love and Healing

Get Your Free Weekly Tips!

Instagram: @jerryahenderson

Linkedin: www.linkedin.com/in/jerryahenderson

Disclaimer