Pointless Local News

First we'll go to Arkansas, to report on a pervert having sex with a stuffed animal.

Next, we'll go to Nebraska to report on a pervert having sex with a dead man's sex doll.

Finally, I'll report on the benefits of using a bidet instead of toilet paper.

After that, I'll terminate this podcast, that's all folks!

First, we'll learn about Clemson Young Republicans forcing their will the Clemson Queer Communities desire to have aaccess to tampons in the men's room.

Next, I'll report on the Great Michigan Beat Off.

Finally, learn how urine flasks were a neccessary medical tool in ancient Rome.

First, we'll meet the boner pill kingpin of Florida, who sadly got caught for the third time. You guessed it, his luck has run out.

Next, killing time on your phone while taking a dump is frowned upon by the medical community, so stop it!

Finally, Harry Dick is tired of the jokes and the street signs of the street named after him getting stolen, so stop it!

First, I'll report on a Florida man (where else?) attacked by a rabid otter.

Next, Gen Y's are asking for a "boomer hour" for old farts like me to go shopping, so I won't piss them off by walking slower and blocking ailses. 

Finally, I'll tell you the tale of a couple suing Disney World over getting a really bad wedgie after going down a water slide.

First, I'll tell you about a Michgan woman, who just had to fish her Apple Watch out of an outhouse toilet and got stuck inside said outhouse toilet.

Next, a brave Mexican Mom helps her son celebrate his 15th birthday, in spite of a bear crashing it.

Finally, beaver butts and fish blatters are in some of your favorite comfort foods and you don't even know it. Now you do!

First,  I'll report on the world renowned Scabby The Rat, who makes a requested visit to downtown Evanston, Illinois to help bring attention to a labor dispute between the International Union of Bricklayers and Allied Craftworkers and the developers of the former Varsity Theater.

Next, a momma bear and her cub, have their way with a Krispy Kreme delivery van at Elmendorf Airforce base in Alaska (of all places). The bears left peacefully, full of doughnut holes and donuts (lucky bears!).

Finally, one of the best Florida Man stories of all time! A guy going door-to-door, picking fights in Pensacola. Was he drunk? What do you think?

First, I'll report on the couple requesting a refund, for a Singapore Airlines flight that was not what they paid for. Their 13 hour flight was spoiled by a drooling and farting service dog next to them.

Next, we'll meet Elijah Barker, a 42 year old resident of Centerville, Indiana who likes to share his love. He does this, by standing in the open door of his motel/apartment totally naked while people drive by on U.S. highway 40 and waving to them.

Finally, San Francisco is literally covered in shit, due to a lack of bathrooms for the homeless. The map of calls to 311 reporting poop on the streets and sidewalks is nearly 100.000 a year!

First, we'll meet the smart and friendly Tripod the bear, as he stops by a neighborhood home in Fllorida for a couple cans of White Claw.

Next, we'll meet the marathon athlete-publicity hound-one brick shy of a full load man, who just wanted to cross the Atlantic to London in a human sized-hamster wheel. He did not make it to London.

Finally, a Michigan woman finds a frog inside a container of spinach and gets her 15 minutes of fame.

First, I'll report on how sliced ham cold cuts are made. Spoiler alert, it's just like how sausage is made, perhaps worse, you be the judge.

Next, how many wipes does it take for you to clean up after pooping? Chances are good, you're wiping too much. We have a wiping expert to tell you the proper way to minimize your wipe count. Said "wiping expert" obviously has no life.

Finally, toilet cuisine comes to Israel, where it's great night out to enjoy eating chocolate ice cream out of a toilet bowl. Disgusting, yet very popular!

First, a freely farting lady disgusts her boyfriend. The fun begins when she asks social media what to do next.

Then, a high school prank involving fart spray, cause the school to be evacuated and the culprits facing a 10 year timeout in jail.

Finally, we'll meet Dick Bigger, a well known Illinois farmer with a porn star name who has a tradition of getting politicians to sign his balls at the Illinois State Fair every year. Baseballs that is, what did you think I was talking about?