Pointless Local News

First, we'll learn about Wooly Mamouth Meatballs and how they might save planet Earth.

Then, man helps moose to see another day and a happy ending.

Finally, the legal battle of Jack Daniels versus a squeaky dog toy that looks like a bottle of Jack Daniels.

First, we meet a young lass who can hold more in her butt than a Uhaul.

Next, just what you always wondered, why are my farts warm?

Finally, the tourism slogan gone wrong and where it might go wrong elsewhere as well.

First, Tad reports on the Cocaine Cat, could this be the sequel to Cocaine Bear?

Next, nothing says a slow news day quite like people complaining on Reddit about neighbors dogs pooping habits.

Finally, the miracle elixer of the ages, Dehydrated Water!

First, Tad takes you back to the Roman Empire and their multi-purpose dildos.

Next, science says masturbating 21 times a month is necessary for proper male health, so wank away!

Finally, a gravy boat for your crazy cat lady or any other sick fuck.

First, Tad reports on how Ford is using AI to drive your car to the junkyard, if you're behind on your monthly payments.

Next., it's AI in your pants, tell us what's in your wank-bank and we'll make you happy!

Finally, we pick up on the travelling adventures of Thor, the masturbating walrus!

First, a man's unexpected backdraft during the taping of a reality TV series.

Next, the 5 best vehicles to have sex in.

Finally, the next frontier for sperm donation, using a robotic vagina.

First, we meet Dazza, a man in search of the perfect fake tan.

Next, someone frowns upon an opera critic in Germany and pays a smelly price for their trangression.

Finally, Philadelphia gets the crowd control they deserve!

First, meet Mr. Mucus, the sex symbol.

Then,walk naked in Spain, legally!

Finally, meet the man  with the world's longest tongue!

First, we learn about the statistics of Brits who can't find their rectum.

Next, chat virtually with Hitler? sure, why not. While we're at it, let's chat with Himmler too.

Finally, Ice the police dog screws up and it's up to us to determine whether or not to punish him for eating another officer's lunch. It's a doggone shame!

First, we learn of the eco-friendly benefits of fueling your business with shit.

Then continuing on that theme, meet Charles, the Amazon delivery guy who fell into a septic tank while delivering a package.

Finally, we meet yet another Tik Tok sensation. This one named Aggie, who loves to eat raw salmon and doesn't mind having tapeworms in her as a result of her misguided snacking.