Pointless Local News

First, meet the janitor who enjoys washing his win wang with the bottled drinking water of others.

Next, jizzy jewelry is a thing, the perfect gift for that someone special.

Finally, it's official, picking your nose has consequences.

First, a shoplifter uses FDS as a weapon, she was FDS fresh when caught.

Next, Tickle Me Elmo turns into Swallow Me Elmo.

Finally, a politician gets caught with his pants down, the very definition of pointless local news.

First, Tad takes you to a future twilight zone, where your virtual wife gets hacked and told to kill you.

Next, New Zealand goes green by controlling livestock gas.

Finally, we go to North Salt Lake, Utah, where the stench is overwhelming and no one knows why.

First, we'll meet a wannabe International Space Station Lothario, who gets his Bitcoin caught in a wringer.

Next, Tad reports on one sought after ingredient in perfume that will both surprise and repulse you.

Finally, a Michigan farm raises the bar on recycling that's wrong on so many levels.

First,Tad tells us how an angry old man got even with ATT and their crappy internet service where he lives.

Next, a  North Carolina dog orders the Hustler Channel without asking first.

Finally,  a painful end for a 23 inch Dildo.

First, meet the brave sewer workers of Mequon, Wisconsin, who rescued and then adopted a pet squirrel.

Next, a sick Chihuahua tests the love of it's owner and the concept of a forever home.

Finally, an outer space trivia test.

First, learn what not to do with an 8 inch screwdriver, no matter how tempting it might be.

Next, Stoolgate in North Korea.

Finally, you can't blame the dog for this one.

First, we meet Robert, the nudist who just wants to be free.

Next, Subway serves up a new sauce for its sandwiches and it's nasty!

Finally, Oscar Mayer brings us a new concoction, The Cold Dog and it too, is nasty!

First, we have another tale about dog toys that look like sex toys.

Next, a family fight over aerosol cheese, cut rate aerosol cheese, ending with a taser. 

Finally, crop dusting in a supermarket is one thing, but police frown upon getting a face full of funk from you.

First, Tad reports on the Naked Bike Ride race in Philadelphia.

Next, one man's sleepwalking gone horribly wrong.

Finally, a German man shows a German lady his credit card in a Hamburg public park.